Trials

Chapter Nine: No Matter Their Birth

"Your Majesty, I truly hate to disturb you with this, but a minor problem has developed that I felt I should bring to your attention.

"Only a minor one?" Odin asked drily from his jutting golden throne, glancing to Loki and then back to Finnulfur.

Loki swallowed nervously. The throne didn't particularly intimidate him – Odin had been king and All-Father far longer than he'd been his father, and the throne his older brother would one day occupy had always been part of Loki's life. Odin himself, however, sometimes intimidated him in a way he never did Thor, for some reason.

"You see, Your Majesty, Prince Loki has filed a citizens' rights petition, and I have approved the application of the Exped-"

"I'm already aware of this. I heard about it from Thor." He turned his sharp gaze back to Loki. "I would have preferred to hear it from you."

Loki felt his feet turn to lead, and had he wanted to turn and run – which some small part of him indeed did – he was sure he wouldn't have been able to, any more than he could avert his eyes from his father's single-eyed piercing stare. "I'm sorry, Father," he said, his voice breaking humiliatingly over the word "sorry," as though it had forgotten it had already changed. "I thought you didn't want to be involved." And oh, that was a massive lie – he hadn't wanted to tell Father about this anymore than he had Tyr or Sorkvir. But he'd assumed Mother would tell him, or he'd find out when a magistrate overruled Tyr and Loki was declared a warrior, a man who'd passed his Trials like every other Asgardian man before him. He hadn't counted on Thor going behind his back.

"And I thought you were going to go to Tyr and do whatever needed to be done to take care of this. Instead I find out you wish to drag him into a trial of another sort entirely."

A long moment passed, and Loki could swear he was beginning to feel faint. Then he sucked a breath into empty lungs and his head cleared a bit. "I'm…I was…I was judged by rules that no one explained to me," he said, mouth dry and awkwardly sticking as he spoke.

Loki watched as his father's chest noticeably rose and fell precisely once. "As you have now made this a matter of law, I must refrain from any official comment." And with that he looked away from Loki and to his law advisor. "Finnulfur, what is the problem you bring me?"

Finnulfur took a deep breath of his own, and Loki felt a twinge of guilt for putting him in the middle of this. "The problem, Your Majesty, is that none of the magistrates is willing to accept this petition."

Loki blinked heavily and his mouth fell open for a second before stammering out a "What?"

"Not all had the courage to admit it, but no one wishes to accept it, because…well, because of Prince Loki."

"Because of me? But why?" He didn't know a single magistrate, except of course for Finnulfur. What could they all have against me? He was known for the occasional prank, but-

"If I may clarify," Father said, interrupting Loki's thoughts on their rapid downward spiral, "it is not because of Loki, is it? It's because of Loki's father. They fear the repercussions from the throne if they decide against Loki."

"That…is an accurate assessment, yes, Your Majesty."

Odin put an elbow on the wing of his throne and let his mouth and nose press into his knuckles for a moment, before sitting up straight again and staring Loki down, lips pressed thinly together. "You should not have taken this path, Loki," he said.

"It was Mother's idea," Loki blurted out. He was immediately mortified.

"Your mother said you should bring Tyr before a magistrate?" Father added with a raised brow.

"Well, not exactly, but…she…" No. He would not blame her. Or make this about her in any way. The spark of the idea had come from her, but it was his decision to pursue it, and to take action based on it.

Finnulfur spoke before Loki could continue. "If Your Majesty wishes to…nullify the petition, then-"

"Father, you can't!" Loki shouted. This is getting worse by the second, he thought, cringing at yet another stupid outburst. Now his father looked not merely perturbed, but angry enough to erupt. He had just told the king of Asgard, sitting on his throne no less, that he couldn't do something. "I'm sorry, Father. I shouldn't have said that."

Odin gave a curt nod after another few seconds passed, and Loki knew he should have counted himself lucky to have escaped punishment, but he couldn't just leave it at that. "But it's not fair if-" He cut himself off with a frown. He couldn't couch this in terms of "fairness," or at least not fairness alone. "Surely it is outside the bounds of Asgardian law to deny me access to the magisterial system, simply because of who my father is. Does the law not apply to me as well? Do I not have the same right to Asgardian justice as any other Asgardian citizen?"

His father stared at him, now his usual stoic impenetrable self. Loki was desperate to know what he was thinking, but he knew he'd find out soon enough. The silence seemed interminable, though – not a good sign, Loki thought – and Loki could swear Odin wasn't even actually seeing him anymore, though his eye was still trained in his direction.

"It does," Odin then said, leaving Loki to scramble to retrace his own words to interpret his father's answer, but he soon continued. "And you do. Asgard's laws apply to all who are of Asgard, no matter their birth."

Loki's head bobbed up and down a few times in relief.

"Finnulfur," Father said, startling Loki for a moment, for he'd actually forgotten the law advisor was there in the intensity of that moment, "do you believe that any of the magistrates have anything to fear, regardless of the decision he or she may come to in this petition?"

"Of course not, Your Majesty," he answered immediately.

"Good. Then you will set the example for them and hear Loki's petition."

Loki's head swung over to Finnulfur, eyes wide. The law advisor and First Magistrate never heard proceedings himself, to Loki's knowledge. And now he would hear Loki's simple petition?

Finnulfur only swallowed at first – enough of a hesitation that Loki wondered if he was just surprised, or if he was displeased to receive this order. "Of course, my liege. I serve at your pleasure," Finnulfur said. Loki couldn't detect any hint of any other reaction.

The hearing was quickly set for the day after next.

"Finnulfur," Odin said then, when Loki was expecting dismissal. "I know that you do not need to be told this, but I must say it regardless, for the record," he prefaced. No physical record-keeper was there, of course, but automated systems generated transcribed records of all official exchanges in the throne room. "I expect complete impartiality, with neither advantage nor disadvantage shown to my son. The decision in this trial will be based in the tenets of law and reason, as it would be for any other Asgardian. Is this clear?"

"Perfectly, Your Majesty. It will be as you say."

Odin dismissed him and Loki turned to go as well, but Odin instead called his name and signaled him closer.

Loki ascended the stairs to the throne until he stood right in front of Father, trying to hide his renewed anxiety. "I would rather have heard it from you," he could still hear his father's voice admonishing, his expression reproachful and disapproving. "Yes, Father?" Loki said nervously.

"I hope you have thought this through carefully. There will be consequences."

Loki just stood there, tongue-tied. Father's words seemed an ominous warning. Mother hadn't seemed to have any such feelings about it. Of course, she'd suggested talking to a magistrate as an option…but she'd never said anything about a formal petition.

Odin's frown deepened. "Prepare well, my son. You may find this trial more difficult than the others."

Loki nodded woodenly. This was his father speaking now, not the All-Father. "I will. I have been."

"Do you have any questions for me?"

He swallowed. "No, Father."

"Then you may go," Father said, looking away; Loki thought he looked disappointed again. Was he supposed to have asked a question? Any question? A specific one he'd failed to think of?

Loki frowned, nodded, and left.

/

/

Outside the throne room, Loki paused. What now? he thought. "Prepare well," his father had said. He nodded to the corridor, empty save the Einherjar Salgardur currently there in the shadows between two wall torches to protect him from unseen threats. He'd thought he'd done all he could do, but he could still do more. He could try to anticipate what Tyr would say, and prepare responses. It shouldn't even be that hard, he thought, setting off through the palace to his chambers, since he already knew something of Tyr's position. The more he thought about it, the more determined he became. Loki knew how to prepare. He'd put every spare minute into preparing for his Trials for months, almost as soon as Thor had completed his. He'd worked harder than anyone else in his training for years, actually, since it was Thor he was measured against on a daily basis, and Thor, it seemed, hardly had to work at all for his strength and fighting ability. In fact, as he started up the first of many flights of stairs, he began to worry that there wouldn't be enough time for all the preparing he obviously needed to do. On the day after tomorrow, he would be going before Asgard's First Magistrate against one of the greatest warriors Asgard had ever known. Nervousness bubbled up in him again, as it had at the start of the battle trial, when Tyr had gotten a warning hit on him. Now he would face Tyr again, and he had to be prepared to answer every blow directed against him, and to transition the defensive moves into offensive ones at the right times.

He was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn't hear Thor coming down the stairs until he was already in sight, half a flight above him. "Thor," he said, cautiously acknowledging his brother's presence. He didn't know where things stood between them now. He'd wanted to apologize before, but now he was kind of mad again because Thor had basically tattled on him to Father, and that was definitely outside the bounds of the unwritten brotherhood code of conduct.

"Loki," Thor said, his voice sounding little different.

"So you told Father." He looked up at Thor, who towered above him two steps higher; Thor had also gained a height advantage on him of several inches in the last few years.

"I told Tyr, too."

He doesn't regret it even the slightest bit! Loki clenched his teeth together and took off up the stairs, putting his shoulder in it when he passed Thor and knocking him to the side. Thor grabbed his arm and yanked; Loki stumbled back down, crashing into Thor. His boots protected his ankles in the near fall, but his shoulder hurt. "If you want to fight you could have just said so," Loki bit out, wrenching himself back from Thor and up a stair, so they were at about the same height.

"Will you just grow up, Loki?"

"I can't believe who just said that to me. My brother, who thinks that drinking more mead than twenty warriors combined would be his life's greatest achievement!"

"You're just jealous because you can't do it."

"I don't want to do it, Thor. When you-" Loki cut himself off and blew out a sharp exhale. "Why are we even arguing about this?"

"I don't know," Thor said with a shrug.

Loki looked into Thor's eyes – that bright blue color that was the same as Odin's and Frigga's. "I'm going to my chambers," he said a moment later, pivoting on the stair and heading up. "I have work to do." His heart wobbled, unsure if it should sink or leap, when he heard Thor following.

"I didn't invite you," Loki said when he opened his front door and turned to see Thor right behind him.

"Since when do I need an invitation?" Thor said, clearly not expecting an answer.

Loki let out an aggravated sigh, but when he went in he didn't bother trying to keep Thor out. It would have been futile, anyway.

"They needed to know, Loki," Thor said, closing the door and following Loki into his study. "And you should have been the one to tell them. I mean…since when am I the responsible one?"

"Since when indeed," Loki muttered, tugging off his boots and starting to work on unfastening his coat.

"I don't like it, so don't put me in that position again. Tyr especially. I train with him, Loki. And I thought you wanted to, too. It was really disrespectful not to tell him you lodged a petition against him."

"Tyr was disrespectful to me. He…he humiliated me, Thor. You can't imagine what it was like to stand out there, in front of everyone, and hear those words, and know everyone else heard them, too. And they were all just staring at me." The coat was off now, and not cooperating as he tried to smooth it out and fold it over the back of his chair, a couple of pieces of metal on it caught on a leather strap. His breathing was rapid and his hands were unsteady and he couldn't get the stupid strap free of the metal.

"So just do it over again. You'll pass, and everyone will forget the first time."

"I don't want to do it over again!" Loki shouted, throwing the coat on the floor. "I should have passed the first time!" He stood there, sucking in air and trying to get a hold of himself. He lowered his eyes to stare down at his coat. "And no one's ever going to forget what happened." He felt tears pricking at his eyes and that was just perfect.

Thor stepped around his coat, put a hand on the back of his neck, and pulled him into a loose embrace. Loki let him, but Thor was no particular source of comfort right now. This was his burden and no one could share it; Thor wasn't even particularly supporting him, and that soured everything.

"So you're just going to hide from him?" Thor said, letting Loki go and bending down to pick up the coat – strange, when he couldn't usually be bothered to pick up his own. "That's cowardice. You aren't a coward."

"I'm not hiding," he snapped, ignoring the comment about cowardice – it was either that or start fighting again, and Loki didn't feel like it. "I'll face him before a magistrate. Before Finnulfur. And I'll defeat him again," Loki said, setting his jaw.

"Finnulfur? Really?" Thor said, then shook his head. "You aren't acting like yourself, Loki. I've never seen you so stubborn. So angry."

Loki grabbed his coat from Thor and threw it in a heap over the back of his chair. He didn't know how to make Thor see it. How to make him understand what it felt like to bear this much shame and humiliation and embarrassment. Then he had a spark of an idea. "Imagine how you would feel if you pulled out your second sword in your battle trial, and Tyr then announced your failure in front of all of Asgard."

"But I told Tyr I wanted to use two swords, and he said I could," Thor answered immediately, perfectly calmly, obviously not trying to imagine anything. It made Loki even angrier.

"Well I didn't know I needed to tell anyone that I wanted to use magic!"

"But you should have kn-"

Loki's strangled yell cut off his brother's words. "Get out!" he shouted. "Just get out, Thor! Get out!" he shouted, throwing a swing that Thor easily ducked, immediately following it with one Thor obviously hadn't expected that landed square on his jaw. He pushed Loki back hard, all as Loki continued shouting at him and started to come at him again.

"Fine, I'm leaving," Thor said, stepping back to the doorway. "And do you know what's going to happen at your hearing? You're going to fail again. You're acting like you're not a day older than Baldur. 'Get out, get out, get out!'" Thor mocked in a whining tone. "How do you expect to face Tyr before a magistrate like that?"

Loki stood there, fists clenched, chest rising and falling with heavy, almost painful breaths, so angry he thought he might explode with it. But it wasn't just anger. It was hurt. Thor was insulting him, belittling him. Abandoning him. "It was embarrassing," he remembered Thor saying of his – his! – humiliation.

Thor gave some kind of odd-looking frown, then turned to leave.

"You're my brother, Thor!" Loki shouted, though by then Thor was already out of sight. "We're supposed to support each other!"

But Thor was gone. Loki clenched his jaw tight to stave off any further threat of tears. Once he'd calmed down a bit, he pulled his chair out and sat down. "I don't need your help, anyway. I don't need anyone's help. I can do this by myself." He thought it over, silently repeated it to himself, then pulled out the sheets of paper he'd taken his notes on and got to work.

/

I mentioned Frigga in the note at the end of the last chapter...since then I divided things a bit differently so Frigga shows up in the next chapter. So, after Ch. 11, a good bit of the rest of this story is hand-written...so I have to get around to typing it! And then finishing it. We're already past the half-way mark here, I'm pretty sure. In Ch. 10, Loki spends some time with Frigga, Baldur, and even Odin (can you say "awkward"?)...but he wonders where Thor is.

Thanks for reading, and extra-special thanks for reviewing!