"Way to go, dirt-for-brains!" Shock hissed at Lock as they made their way down the Town Hall steps. "If we had gone through the door I chose we'd be done by now and Jack wouldn't be mad at us! Now he probably thinks we're all stupid."
It was one of those rare moments when Lock had no way to defend himself. It wasn't like Shock hadn't offered an alternative suggestion (and the correct one, at that) so he couldn't write this mishap off to the burdens of being the leader. "Well, how was I supposed to know?" he muttered, but it was a weak excuse.
"Because he TOLD us, dummy!" snarled Shock.
"Well I'm sorry, okay!?" Lock snapped back at her, "You didn't have to strangle me about it, though!"
Barrel stepped in between them and said, "I'm hungry. Let's swipe some food before we go all the way back to Christmas Town."
"Not-Christmas-Town," Shock reminded him.
"Good idea," said Lock, eager to change the subject away from his mistake, plus he was hungry, too. It had been a very long time since breakfast and the journey to get Not-Sandy-Claws had taken so long that it was practically dinner time. Being children, they had no money of their own so they survived on whatever they could hunt, forage or steal, and sometimes - when they made him really, really happy - Oogie Boogie would cook some snake and spider stew for them. Jack had offered them a monthly allowance because he didn't want three hungry children in his town no matter how annoying they were - but while Barrel had wanted to accept the offer, Lock had stubbornly refused and Shock had agreed with him, too prideful to admit that they could use some help. Besides, stealing was more fun anyway, at least when they didn't get caught and forced to work off their debt. Their enjoyment of stealing would have been only slightly dampened if they knew that Jack ended up reimbursing all of their victims for the food they stole out of his own funds anyway - it was more about the thrill of the heist for the children. They parked the tub and Not-Sandy-Claws behind a building, then eyed Clown's sales cart full of cotton candy, hotfrogs and fried spider legs. They all decided that would make a nice meal, so - as always - Barrel was given the task of causing a distraction while Lock and Shock snuck some food. Barrel thought that they were giving him a compliment by entrusting him with the important job of distracting the victim, but really they did it because it made him the most likely to be caught and punished. Being quite small, it was fairly easy for Barrel to sneak up behind Clown without being noticed and he yanked the rubber chicken right out of Clown's belt and then took off running as fast as his stumpy little legs and ungainly feet would take him, laughing loudly all the way. Clown fell for it and immediately zoomed after Barrel on his unicycle, screaming with rage. Lock and Shock had their routine worked out smoothly by now and they moved quickly - Barrel couldn't run all that fast and Clown would catch him before too long. Shock gave Lock a boost and he leaned into the cart to take and then hand her down six hotfrogs, then he shoved three baggies of fried spider legs into his pockets before grabbing three cotton candies and jumping off of her shoulders. They quickly ran and hid behind the nearest building and Shock put her fingers between her lips and whistled loudly - Barrel's signal that the food had been successfully obtained. Barrel heard her whistle and threw the rubber chicken behind his back at Clown to hopefully throw him off the chase, then scurried over a low wall where the unicycle couldn't follow and circled back around to where Lock and Shock were waiting. They congratulated one another on their successful heist and sat on the ground around the tub to wolf down their food.
"Alright, let's get out of here before Clown notices we nicked some food." said Lock after a few minutes, cramming the last overly-large bite of hotfrog into his mouth. Shock still had some cotton candy left but she could easily eat that on the way. Barrel always finished eating first so he was already climbing up onto the tub to get it started again and make sure that the rope securing Not-Sandy-Claws in the bag was still good and tight. The other two joined him and their prisoner in the tub even though it was a tight fit because they were getting tired and it was a long walk back to the holiday doors. The huge, yellow, full moon was out and lighting their way by the time they finally arrived and trundled right up to the Not-Christmas-Town door. Shock hopped down from the tub to pull it open when Lock said, "Hang on, we can't send him back without doing something to him! I know, let's cut off his stupid fluffy tail!" he grinned maliciously and flicked his own tail.
"You moron, do you know how much trouble we'll get in if Jack finds out we did that? No, we need to send him home and apologize again." Her words sounded responsible but the wicked look on her face told a different story. "We should send him back with a nice going-away present." she said in that false-sweet tone of hers and then looked around the clearing, clearly searching for something but Lock and Barrel didn't know what. At last she seemed to have spotted it. "Ah ha! That'll work." She walked over to a nearby tree and the other two saw what had caught her eye: a very large spider web containing a very large spider with sharp mandibles and a very large egg sack that looked VERY close to hatching. She plucked the spider and egg sack free and cupped them carefully in her hands, her gloves protecting her from the spider's angry bites. "Send the scorpions down there with him, too!" she cackled, and Lock grabbed the scorpion box and joined Shock by the Not-Christmas-Town door.
"OK, Barrel, open the bag!" said Lock, and Barrel hurried to the side of the tub where he could grab hold of the rope, careful to make sure he wasn't between Not-Sandy-Claws and the open door.
"One, two, THREE!" they all shouted together, then Barrel released the rope and gave the bag a good kick to encourage its occupant to leave. Not-Sandy-Claws hopped out with just as much force as he had before, but this time instead of landing on a bench he flew right through the open door and dropped like a rock down into the darkness, squeaking in terror. The children laughed hysterically and Lock and Shock threw the spider and scorpions into the door after him.
"We're sorry, Mr. Not-Sandy-Claws!" Shock yelled sarcastically into the open door before slamming it shut. "There, we sent him home and apologized, just like Jack said!" she snickered, looking at her cohorts with a satisfied expression before she burst out laughing. Lock and Barrel were practically rolling on the ground, howling with laughter. Their earlier mortification at screwing up their mission was forgotten and instead they all decided that they were happy to have kidnapped the wrong holiday leader because it had given them one extra person to torment and one more good joke to play. After they had laughed themselves silly, Lock suggested they head home for the evening and the other two agreed. It had been a very long and action-packed day, they still had a long journey back to the treehouse and they were getting very tired, which always led to extra fighting - but fortunately it also meant that they didn't have the energy to actually punch, kick, slap or strangle each other much. They clambered into the bathtub again and Barrel flipped the faucet handle to 'on' and they headed back down the trail towards home.
They had only been traveling for about five minutes when a sudden realization dawned on Lock. "Aw, no, we threw the eggs that we were going to throw at the Mayor's house back in that door with the scorpions!"
"You mean YOU threw them back in," Shock corrected him in a snotty tone, and he glared at her. "Don't worry," she continued, "We'll just go get some more later. And some of those bugs and little bird things for Oogie to eat, and whatever else interesting we can find." Barrel yawned loudly and slid down to the bottom of the tub to sleep, trusting Lock or Shock to stay awake - but even if they didn't, the tub knew the way home. For a little while Lock and Shock occasionally remarked on how funny it was to see Not-Sandy-Claws fall down the door and made rough plans on what they might do differently when they actually got to Christmas Town for real, but soon they went quiet as sleepiness overtook them, too. Barrel was the only one who was a heavy-enough sleeper to actually truly fall fast asleep in the shaky, lumbering tub, but eventually Lock and Shock were tired enough to able to doze off, too. The bathtub arrived at the treehouse well past midnight with all three little trick-or-treaters curled up together for warmth and comfort inside it. If one didn't know better, they almost looked innocent when they were sleeping - almost. They lurched to a stop once the tub reached it's place in the treehouse and Lock and Shock woke up as the abrupt halt knocked their heads together a little bit. They had been snuggled side by side with Barrel curled up at their feet like a lapdog, still snoring softly with a little trickle of drool running down the side of his face, fast asleep and completely oblivious to the fact that they were home.
"Ow…" Lock and Shock muttered groggily, rubbing their heads where they had hit one another before they climbed out of the tub and dragged themselves to bed. They left Barrel in the tub, either he would wake up and go to bed before morning or he wouldn't, they really didn't care either way. Tomorrow would be another day, another opportunity to try again, and this time they wouldn't fail.