Trials

Chapter Twelve: A Cheater Regroups

"You cheated, using magic, did you not?"

"I…no. No, I wouldn't say that's what happened. I was practicing with my brother. He was forcing me back, and I remembered something I'd learned to do a couple of years ago. I backed away, and I heated up a little bit of energy, and I threw it at Thor's feet."

"You were disciplined for this, yes?"

"Yes. It wasn't much energy, just a little bit, and it was unstable, and one of Thor's boots was scorched. It was ruined."

"Is that why you were disciplined? Because you ruined a pair of boots?"

Sorkvir's tone was unbearably grating. Loki supposed it wasn't literally dripping sarcasm…but he was certainly making his own opinion clear. Loki did his best to ignore it and answer with poise, as his mother put it, mostly to Thor, who was not especially interested in poise. "Well…Mirab said I could have hurt Thor. I would never intentionally hurt my brother." He looked back at Thor, who was not exhibiting poise and instead giving him a look that said "as if you could." "Not more than I'm supposed to, anyway," Loki added with a crooked grin. Thor rolled his eyes. No poise at all. He turned back to Finnulfur, who didn't look amused, and the moment of levity passed.

"You broke the rules. You cheated. Because you didn't want to lose?"

Loki bristled at the use of that word again, "cheated." He wasn't opposed to the occasional cheating, at the right time and place. But in this context, before Finnulfur, it was horrible, like Sorkvir was dragging his honor out in front of everyone and enthusiastically trampling all over it. Maybe it was cheating, that time in training. But that wasn't the same! He bit back his frustration and tried to remember his poise. "Have you ever wanted to lose, Sorkvir?"

"Loki," Finnulfur said.

Loki looked up at the chiding tone and his face fell. He'd forgotten, he wasn't supposed to be asking questions yet. Just answering them. And that was getting old. "I'm sorry."

"That's all right. The question to you was, did you use magic in the training session with your brother because you didn't want to lose?"

"I didn't think about it that much. My brother and l like to fight. We do it all the time, just for fun, mostly. I think I sort of forgot what I was doing. That it was training and not just the two us trying to take each other down. I made a mistake then. I don't deny that. We were supposed to be practicing the eighth series, and Mirab said I wasn't supposed to improvise."

"He didn't say you weren't supposed to use magic?"

Loki hesitated. Did Mirab tell Sorkvir that he said that? He hoped not. He didn't want to be made a liar, but he could only go by his own memory. "I don't think so. I don't remember it that way. It was two years ago. But I know what you're trying to say, and the situations are different. I was supposed to be practicing variations on a specific set of movements, and I ignored them and did something else. The Trials are different. In the skills trial I performed the eighth series and all its variations flawlessly. In the battle trial, you have the freedom to display your own skills, to use your creativity…it's not a training session."

"Freedom?" Sorkvir echoed, sounding surprised in some falsely – annoyingly – dramatic way. "But you've already said you understood you did not have freedom. Not truly. You knew you had to ask permission to use axes. You knew you were not free to do as you liked. In fact you had every indication that magic would not be permitted, and no indication whatsoever that it would be. Loki, you said none of your trainers taught you to use magic. Why is that?"

Loki fidgeted a moment before forcing his hands to still. He'd thought for a second there that Sorkvir was done. Wishful thinking. The question Sorkvir continued on with wasn't an easy one. The answers that flashed into mind wouldn't be helpful. He knew brawn and a physical weapon were valued over standing back and using magic - which was why he'd made sure he wasn't standing back, no one could accuse him of cowardice in his use of magic - but knowing that some frowned on magic in battle wasn't the same as knowing it would get him failed. And a quick answer had already gotten him in trouble once. "You would have to ask them," he finally answered.

"Let me ask a different way," Sorkvir said, and Loki didn't miss the flash of annoyance on his face. "For those interested in learning to use magic, when can they begin lessons?"

"When they pass at least their general examinations, and turn twenty," Loki answered. "But it's not forbidden to use magic before then," he quickly added, meeting Finnulfur's eyes. "I would never have used it if it was."

"And why is such study not provided to youths?"

"All specialized study begins at age twenty, or later," Loki answered, followed by a blossoming of guilt. What he'd said was completely true, but there was more to it than that, and he knew it, and everyone else knew it, too. It was creeping toward obfuscation, but it had slipped out instinctively.

"Why is magic considered specialized study? Why is it not studied alongside history, and math, and cosmology, and society, and so forth?"

Loki took a deep breath to ready himself to answer, to consider his wording. Sorkvir, of course, would not let him get away with avoiding the answer he wanted. "Because some people are concerned that children and youths wouldn't use it properly."

"Lord Magistrate, though Loki is clearly trying to avoid putting it bluntly, Asgard of course worries that those who have not yet reached adulthood would use magic inappropriately. That they would fail to show proper judgement. It is our contention that Loki indeed failed to show proper judgement. That because magic is not taught to warriors, because magic is not taught to youth at all, because fighting with magic is not considered true fighting, any reasonable person would know that he could not use magic in his Trials, and that if he had such an idea, he would certainly have to ask permission first. To that end, I undertook a search of our records on performance at all previous Trials. No one has ever asked to use magic, and no one ever did use magic. Until now."

Sorkvir sounded supremely confident, even smug, and in that moment Loki decided he hated Sorkvir. "Petition over; Loki is obviously just stupid. And also a disgrace to Asgard," Loki imagined Sorkvir saying. He glanced up at Finnulfur, and saw he'd raised an eyebrow - that argument about the records had clearly had an impact on him. It shouldn't be that way - Loki thought he should receive bonus credit for using a skill never before used in the Trials, but apparently to everyone else that was a further sign that he should have known better.

"Tyr's decision stands," Sorkvir continued, "and thus mine does as well, and neither of us believes that this judgement in any way violates Loki's rights as an Asgardian citizen. This concludes our presentation. Thank you, Lord Magistrate, for hearing us before Asgard."

/

/

Loki stood in place, dazed, after Finnulfur called for a lunch break. He accepted a cold pewter-framed glass of water from a clerk automatically. The words applied to him throughout this ordeal hung like weights around his neck. Failure. Cheater. And now, poor judgement. For the first time, instead of wishing everyone would recognize his talent for what it was, what he believed it to be, he wished he'd never used magic at all. Sixty seconds. Ten seconds, even. If he'd just kept going another ten seconds the same as every other Asgardian boy, without creating that flash of blinding light, he wouldn't be here right now. He would hear pass, warrior, man, brave, strong, honor.

"If I need to hit you, I will."

His gaze cleared and he saw Thor standing right in front of him. "What?"

"You heard me. Are you done standing around like your brain slid out of your ears? Come on, I'm hungry. Let's get lunch."

"How can you think about food right now? Did you just hear all that? Oh, maybe not. Maybe you were too busy imagining lunch."

"I heard every word. Now let's go. You'll think better over lunch."

"No, I won't. I'll think better at my desk, with a pen and paper, and…and those texts from the Library of the Law, and…"

"And? Be serious, do you really think some ancient text is going to tell you what to ask Sorkvir? Let's get lunch, and I'll help you come up with what to say."

"Oh, really? That's hilarious, Thor. You don't even think I should be doing this. You think I should have failed in the first place. You agree with them!"

Thor clenched his jaw – Loki could see the muscles working – and stared daggers at him. "I'm here, aren't I? Look…who better to help you work on your arguments than someone who understands the opposing view? I don't actually want you to lose this petition, Brother."

Loki put his hands up and covered his face, as though he could literally hide his shame. He was in a foul mood and he was taking it out on Thor, and none of this was Thor's fault. "All right, fine. Let's get lunch. And I'm sorry. I…I'm glad you're here."

Thor smiled, not one of his especially dazzling ones but nevertheless brighter than what the situation actually called for, and Loki gave a wry little laugh and followed Thor. He downed his water and handed the cup to the sole clerk left in the chamber; Sorkvir, Tyr, and Finnulfur had left already, but that clerk had overheard Loki's outburst. Enough of his dirty laundry had been aired today that he wasn't particularly bothered by it, though.

"Wait, where are you going?" Loki asked a few minutes later when Thor took a right instead of the expected left, toward the main palace kitchen.

"Upstairs. Mother will be there."

"Mother? Thor, no! I'm not doing that. She'll ask how things are going, and…"

"And you don't want to tell her? I thought you'd want to talk to her. You always do."

Loki shook his head. "Not this time. I don't want to have to repeat everything that was said in there."

"Okay, I understand. Just you and me, then. And Loki…some of the things Sorkvir said…they were really blown out of proportion. And that thing you did to my boot…that was sort of impressive. I still think you should work on that. Get better at it."

"Who are you and what have you done with my brother?"

"Huh?"

"Well, you obviously aren't my real brother, because after I ruined his boot my real brother grabbed a spear and tried to stab me with it."

Thor hunched his shoulders and scrunched up his face in a look that said, What, you haven't gotten over that yet? "It felt like you set my foot on fire. What did you expect?"

"Anyway, I don't think it would work. It's like I said, the energy's too unstable, and the heat dissipates too quickly. Besides, apparently if I used that against an enemy I'd be a dishonorable cheater."

"Don't be so dramatic, Loki," Thor said with an eyeroll. "Come on, let's grab something from the kitchens. Then we can find an empty chamber."

Along the way Loki sent a servant up to his mother with a message letting her know all was well but he was going to work through lunch, and fifteen minutes later he and Thor were settled down in the Chamber of Maps on the third floor of the private wing for the long lunch break. Like many rooms in the private wing it was rarely used, but this room had the advantage of a long table in the middle of it, perfect for spreading out lunch and notes all over it.

"Show me a map of Loki's bathroom," Thor said, still holding on to his lunch, while Loki's was on the table already. A two-dimensional rendering of the layout of the bathroom appeared.

"If I didn't know better I'd think you were really twelve instead of twenty. You still find that funny?"

"No. But this is." He pulled the map up into a low third dimension, grabbed Loki's sandwich and placed it in the toilet. He started laughing.

"My life is over and you're making toilet jests. That's wonderful, Thor. I can see you're going to be a great help here."

"Soooo dramatic, Brother! 'My life is over?' Let's eat and then I'll save your life."

"Unfortunately, this," he said, gesturing toward the toilet, "only confirms my lack of appetite."

"Nonsense. Eat." Thor swiped a hand over the rendering and it disappeared, leaving only a regular table again.

Loki pushed the sandwich aside and reached for the cup of mixed fresh fruit instead.

"All right. I'll eat, and you tell me your arguments."

Loki nodded, popped a piece of apple in his mouth, and pulled out his notecards, which he then read out to Thor.

"That's it?" Thor asked, the words distorted by a full mouth. He swallowed. "That's how you're planning to convince Finnulfur?"

Dejected, Loki slouched back in his chair. "I thought it was all going to be more…simple. Straightforward. This is all I prepared."

"Your problem is you're just convinced you're right, and you think everyone else will see it, too, because to you it's obvious. I would have probably done it the same way, I mean if they'd said…I couldn't use my strength or something. Well that's stupid. But anyway you're cleverer than me. You can do better."

Loki nodded. That he was cleverer, just as Thor was stronger, had been decided and accepted for years now. No statements signed in blood requested or required. But Loki didn't feel particularly clever at the moment. "Do you have any ideas?"

"Yes. Blame me."

"What?" Loki asked, shocked. "You didn't tell me to use magic. You didn't even know! You want me to lie? I can't do that, Thor, I gave an oath."

"Of course not, are you mad? No, what I mean is," he began, hastily swallowing another bite – he had polished off both his sandwiches and was now eating Loki's, too – you were around me so much when I was preparing for my Trials, maybe they thought they didn't need to talk to you about yours. To make the rules more clear."

"You said you thought I should have known anyway."

"Well, yes, but…obviously you didn't. So you can say they assumed you knew more than you did because of me. How many brothers take the Trials just ten months apart?"

Loki nodded, mulling it over. Perhaps no other brothers had taken the Trials ten months apart. Pregnancy lasted about ten months on Asgard, and while Loki had come a bit early, still it was highly unusual, brought about by circumstances of war and the rare return of their father and things Loki didn't like to think about because gross. It was a weak argument, he thought, but the situation was uncommon, and maybe they had told Loki less about the Trials because he already knew so much about them through Thor's. He jotted it down on his notecard.

"And another thing…what Sorkvir said about you not telling anyone you were going to use magic."

"What about it?" Loki asked warily.

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I wanted it to be a surprise. I wanted it to be…entertaining. I wanted people to enjoy it."

"You wanted to show off."

Loki frowned. He hadn't forgotten that "shining moment" comment Thor had made. It still made him mad when he thought about it. "Yes, I wanted to show off, all right?" he said tightly. "Everyone wants to show off at his Trials. It's part of the whole point."

Thor looked down at the remains of his last sandwich and thought that over. "That's true. You're right. I think you should talk about that somehow. Because the impression Sorkvir created even though you denied it was that you didn't tell anyone because you knew you'd be told you couldn't do it. You need to give Finnulfur another reason why you didn't say anything."

Loki's eyebrows went up. Thor was right. And Loki hadn't thought of it. Only one explanation had been offered, and because Loki had failed to provide an alternative one – the true one – or really because he'd never had the chance to, Sorkvir's explanation would linger. Loki had to supplant it. And that was fairly easily done. "You know, Brother, I'm going to have to get stronger somehow, because you're somehow getting cleverer. That's a great idea," Loki said enthusiastically. Perhaps this wasn't such a lost cause after all.

/

Yep, I'm still here, and this story is still here. :-) I started it back when I somehow had the time to write three stories simultaneously. Now, not so much. Lack of internet halted my progress on my main story but wasn't a hindrance for working on this one, so, voila, here's Ch. 12. So, Ch. 13 is finished and Ch. 14 is probably around a third to a half finished. At least if you'd forgotten what this story's about, the title provides a hint!