5: Decision

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In life, there are those times when you decide to do something without knowing why. Whatever the outcome, good or bad, you always look back on that decision and wonder- what made me do it? How would life be different if I didn't do it?

These were the thoughts that compelled me, on that dim, silent morning, when the moon was still falling to the horizon. I rubbed my eyes and sat up on my bed, listening to the soft sound of the breeze against the window panes. The black guitar sat in the corner, caressed by the glow of the fading moon. I picked it up in my hands, and strummed once, emitting a muted, metallic sound. Why did I keep this guitar, after all this time? I guess Grandpa would want me to learn it, but I haven't picked it up even once. I remember the night he passed away, woken up in the middle of the night by Mom and Dad, driving to the emergency room through those darkened streets….

I shook my head, placing the guitar back into its case.

I lay back down, thinking hard. Why is life so short? I'm already graduating soon, and it feels like I've done nothing with my life at all. Where did all the time go? If only, I could turn back time; do it all over again. How would I have done it differently?

Well, no matter how I think about it, there's nothing I can do.

This is the only chance I have, the only life I have. I've got to do something with it.

In a burst of movement, I got ready for school, grabbing the guitar as I left the house quietly, making sure not to wake my parents. The first rays of light had crept over the mountains, and unseen birds began to herald the dawn.

I made my way to school alone, leaving a text to Sayori saying that I had to turn in a homework assignment early before class. When I made it to the school building, I climbed the flights of stairs up to our clubroom. I slid open the door, revealing the space where my friends and I had spent the past week together. I glanced about the dark room, remembering the events that had occurred. So many memories, in so little time- how many more would I have when all this is over?

I set the guitar down in the back corner. What was I doing bringing it here? I didn't know. I can't even play it. But I did.

I made my way back down the stairs, treading in quiet reflection. I entered my class, sitting down at my seat. I stared out the window just as the glowing orb of the sun broke free from its cage, sending its brilliant light across the town, bathing it in soft orange. I smiled.

"Hey Natsuki! You ready for some fun?" I said happily, catching up to Natsuki as we walked to PE.

"Eww, why are you following me? Go walk with Hokuto or something."

"Seriously? Why can't I walk with you?"

"Well, I'm kinda a girl, and I'm kinda going to the GIRLS' locker room, so can you not? Eww, you probably want to spy on me or something! Like you did at the bookstore!" Natsuki made a disgusted face, pulling her skirt tight around her legs.

"Yo- come on! After one accident, you judge me that hard? Seriously?" I said half- chuckling.

Out of nowhere, Katsuo appeared and shoved me against the hallway wall.

"OW! What the f-"

"Whooooooo! Nozomu-baby! Being a pedo now? I know you like that flat chest!" Katsuo roared with laughter. "Don't worry, Natsuki. I'll protect you! Don't let these creeps like Nozomu and Hokuto hang out with you. Next thing you know, they'll be doing things like… this!" Katsuo shot his arm out and swiped his hand across Natuski's chest, teasing the red ribbon with his finger.

"EEEEEEEEEEKK!" Natsuki screamed, kicking Katsuo in the groin.

"Arrrgh!" Katsuo crumpled to the floor, clutching his jewels.

"Don't you dare, pedo boy!" Natsuki shouted, adjusting her shirt.

"Ah-ahhh- s-sorry… 'bout… that…" Katuso moaned, writhing on the floor.

"Hahahahaha!" I laughed. "What a hypocrite, dude!" I stepped over him, continuing on my way with Natsuki.

"Dang, Natsuki! You got some guts!"

"Well, duh! I gotta protect myself from creeps like Katsuo, you know! I bet you wouldn't dare to do something like that."

"Yeah, I probably wouldn't. But, do you really think I'm a creep?"

Natsuki stopped to think. "Well, like I said, you are. But I mean, you're not nearly as bad as people like Katsuo. Or Takamura."

"Wait, Takamura, the student council guy that keeps wanting Monika-san to join the student council?"

"Yeah."

"But he's like one of those pretty boys who are all sweet and hot or something and all the girls dig him! Like I mean, Sayori was literally shaking when we were in his presence!"

"I know that! The thing is, even though he seems all pure and all, he just gives me those bad vibes, ya know? Like Katsuo, you can easily tell he's a jerk. But Takamura… he's a little more subtle, I guess. But the funny thing is that I don't get any bad vibes from you, even though I think you're pretty gross. Sorry. All I'm trying to say is, if I had to pick between all of these guys, I would definitely pick you." Natsuki looked forward as she said so, continuing to walk.

"W-what?"

Natsuki turned to look into my eyes, placing a hand upon my shoulder.

"Yeah. No kidding this time. Just… if you want to be more attractive, you know, you have to be more confident. I can't always be there to protect you!" Natsuki giggled charmingly, twirling around a strand of her hair.

"Hi, Nozomu-kun," Sayori said, plopping down next to me at lunch, before any of the other girls arrived.

"Hey Sayori-san! What's up?" Sayori rested her chin in her palm, eyes downcast.

"What's wrong?" I asked, moving my head closer to hers.

"Ah, nothing," Sayori replied, her eyes flickering to mine and back to her plate.

"Did you get my text this morning?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Sayori sighed deeply, and lethargically plopped a bite of food into her mouth.

"Sayori-san, I can tell something's troubling you." I creased my eyebrows, forcing myself to place a hand on her forearm.

"Oh no, nothing's wrong!" Sayori grinned at me, giving me a thumbs- up. "I'm happy as ever!"

"Here, I'll go buy a drink for you," I said, rising.

"No, wait, it's okay!" Sayori objected, grabbing my hand. "I'll tell you! It's just, I know it's not your fault, but I felt so sad walking to school alone this morning. I reminded me of… the time when… someone… wasn't here. I just felt so… lonely."

"Oh… I'm sorry…" I said. So that was it. She was sad because I didn't walk with her to school today. She probably felt really sad when her old friend, or boyfriend, wasn't here anymore. The guy I saw in the picture with her. "Is this person… the guy who used to live in my house?"

"Y-yeah. I'll tell you. He was my childhood friend, and we always spent so much time together. But as we grew, he spent less and less time with me. He always stayed in his room, your room, on his computer. It wasn't until last year, when he sat next to me in class. We actually talked a lot, and eventually I got him to hang out with me again. We grew very close, until that summer… when he had to move away. I think we… loved… each other? I don't know…" Sayori surprised herself with a single tear that had rolled down her cheek.

"Sayori…" I found myself patting her on the back. "Sayori, I'm sorry… I won't ever let you go alone again!"

"No, no, it's okay! You do whatever you need! It's my problem…"

"No it isn't. We're a family, remember? You said it yourself. Here. I'll get you a drink." I walked across the cafeteria, approaching one of the vending machines, which had a lengthy queue in front of it. Wow, this is gonna take a while…

Suddenly, a commotion of muttering erupted around me, from a bunch of guys. They were whispering and staring- I looked around to see what had caught their attention, and instantly found the source.

Approaching the line was a voluptuous female, striding across the cafeteria with long strides. Her long, pink hair was tied in twintails, which bounced jovially as she walked, flanked by a plethora of other attractive females. She wore on her face a slight smile, her dark eyes quickly skimming the crowd, not taking any interest in the hordes of boys gaping at her. Her bangs swayed across her forehead as she turned, giggling at some joke her friend had made. She brought her hand to her mouth, covering the perfect, white teeth she possessed as she let out a lighthearted, sunny laugh.

"Um, are you going to buy something, sir?" A songlike, honey-sweet voice sounded in front of me.

I realized that she was talking to me, and that I had already made it to the front of the line as I stared at her.

"Ah- SORRY!" I said, turning away bashfully, and mashing the buttons on the machine. I fumbled as I tried to insert the coins, spilling them all over the floor. "NO! I'M SORRY!" I hit the floor, scrambling to find the coins which had rolled this way and that.

No, no! What am I doing? She was behind me in line, and I was transfixed by her this whole time? How awkward is that?

"Here, sir," She said, picking up the last coin and handing it to me. As she did so, her soft fingers brushed against mine, and I felt chills course through my body. She giggled. "Aw, it's okay. Don't worry about it- you're a new student, right? I haven't seen you around."

"Y-yeah."

"Yo, hurry up!" I heard a guy shout, so I quickly purchased two teas and stepped to the side. I suspected that the graceful female still wanted to say something to me, so I waited as she calmly, peacefully made her purchase. The guy behind her did not exhibit any signs of impatience at all, as his eyes took in the silky vibrance of her hair. She grabbed her drink and came to me.

"Ah, sorry for bothering you," She said with a slight bow.

"N-no prob!"

"Yeah, my name's Natsue! Nice to meet ya!" She uncapped her drink and took a swig.

"C-call me Nozomu." I gulped. Why the heck is she talking to a weirdo like me? I looked around, and saw that around twenty other dudes were eyeing me enviously.

"Nozomu? That's a cute name! Nozomu. Nozomu. I like the sound of it!"

I blushed profusely.

"Anyway, I'll see you around, Nozomu-kun. You're pretty cool!" Natsue did a little twirl and skipped away, meeting up with her friends. I walked back to my seat, utterly exasperated. All the other members of the club had arrived, and all of them had shocked looks on their faces as I approached.

"Did my sister seriously just talk to you?" Natsuki said loudly.

"W-wait… WHAT!?" I shouted. "SHE'S YOUR SISTER!?"

"Well, yeah! And the way you looked at her… you're DEFINITELY a creep. Cuz she's younger than me. She's a second year."

"She's a second year?! How? She looks… so much… more mature… than you…."

"Ughhh! Everyone says that! Look, if you're going to join the Natsue-sama fan club, you're free to go! Practically every guy in the school is infatuated with her. I mean, there was this one time, when a guy got caught spying on her and taking pictures as she changed. It was backstage during the school festival, because she had to change into her idol dress. And guess what? I told her that she had to sue the guy, but she just forgave him! And she even let him keep the pictures! What?!" Natsuki spoke expressively, gesturing wildly.

"Well… wait, you said she was an idol singer? You mean she's famous or something?"

"I guess, around here. She sometimes goes to the music house downtown to perform with her friends. I don't even want to know how many guys try to pick her up there."

"Wow. I never knew that…" Monika said.

Yuri looked disturbed. "Natsue… is really popular…" She mumbled.

"Then again, Monika-chan here is super popular too," Sayori interjected.

"Yeah, but at least she doesn't act like my sister," Natsuki said.

"She's pretty nice, though," I said. "I mean, she seemed pretty genuine."

"My, oh my, you better be careful," Natsuki warned. "She's broken many hearts."

"Really? How could someone as sweet as that…"

"W-whaaaaat? You know my sister!?" Natsue squealed, appearing at our table. "Onee-chan! You know Nozomu-kun?"

"What are you doing here, Natsue?" Natsuki said, annoyed.

"I was just passing by, when I saw you guys! Oh, are you in my sis' Literature Club or something?"

"Y-yeah!"

"Hahah! That's nice! You know, if you want, you can join the Idol Club with me! If you like to sing!" Natsue laughed.

"What the heck?!" I heard a random guy remark, as males heard her words.

"Don't do it!" Natsuki whispered loudly. "Don't leave us!" She grabbed my hand.

"Teehee! Oh, I'm sorry, if I'm intruding…" Natsue said slyly. "It's fine, you can stay with my sister, then. She needs some male company!"

"Watch it, Natsue!" Natsuki scolded.

"I'm joking, sis! Bye sweetie!" Natsue patted me on the head and left, skipping.

After class, Yuri turned to me and smiled, her bangs slightly falling over her eyes.

"Nozomu-kun! See you at club!" Her sweet lips pursed in expectation, and she rose, quickly leaving. Wow, she could at least offer to walk with me….

I wonder if Monika is practicing piano today…. I left the classroom, waving goodbye to Natsuki. Finding the music room was easy, as I heard the blissful melody of ascending arpeggios from the other end of the hallway. I entered, spotting the graceful figure of Monika upon the piano seat, fingers moving quickly and delicately across the keys.

"In your reality…." Her fingers held the final chord, and she released them, folding her hands in her lap with a distant expression on her face.

I burst into applause, and she turned around.

"Ah, Nozomu-kun, surprising me again! What brings you here?" Her eyes showed curiosity and kindness, beckoning for me to approach.

"Hi Monika-san! I just really wanted to hear you practice. It's really, really good!"

"Aww, thank you!"

"You know, I've been thinking… about… well, remember that ad you pointed out on Saturday? About the band competition?"

"Yeah. Wait, what about it?"

"Well… I… I don't know what I was thinking, but I brought a little something to school today. Um. Hold on." I awkwardly left the room, leaving Monika confused. Arrrgh! Why am I like this? What made me think this was a good idea? But whatever. I already started it- I had to go through with it. I made my way up to the clubroom, but was greeted by a strange sound as I entered.

It was the sound of a guitar, its powerful chords emanating throughout the room. There was also a familiar voice, which sounded as beautiful and melancholy as the setting sun.

"How many stars can I see

in the night sky

As numerous as the hope

that I feel at this moment

This one moment

That will soon be no more…"

There stood Yuri, clutching my guitar, strumming it passionately. It was plugged into an amp, which was plugged to the wall.

When she saw me, she quickly let out a squeal, rapidly unplugging the guitar and moving to place it back in its case.

"Y-Yuri! Wait, it's okay!" I said, stopping her by clutching the guitar myself. I noticed that Sayori and Natsuki were absent from the room.

"N-Nozomu-kun… Sorry…" Yuri eyed me nervously, as we held the guitar together.

"No, there's nothing wrong! Yuri… you play the guitar?"

"Nozomu… you play the guitar?"

"Um, no. I just… decided to bring it today… I don't know why…"

"Well… I can teach you, if you want…." Yuri shuffled nervously, beads of sweat forming on her forehead.

"Why didn't you say you played guitar when we were at the music store and everything?"

"Ahh, well, I was kind of shy about it… I usually just play alone in my room. When I play and sing, it's the greatest feeling in the world. I don't know how to explain it, but it just lets me release the feelings I have bottled inside. It's hard for me, because I'm shy, to… always express my feelings. That's why I play. It lets me convey my emotions through the music." Yuri spoke confidently, eyes directly into mine.

"...You… really know how to put my thoughts into words," I said, taken aback. "I know, I sometimes might seem like a 2D harem genre anime character. But that's not the real me… I just don't know how to show my feelings, you know? Like sometimes, I just play along with what I feel is my role in life. I know, I can be something different, but I just… don't know how to express my real thoughts."

"Mm. I… know, I'm a shy girl, but, there's so many things I wish I could say, things that I wish I could have said. But this label, it just makes me feel like- I have to be what I'm supposed to be- that shy character. If only there is a way to break free, to become what we truly are, without the world judging us…." Yuri's eyebrows creased in thought, her pretty eyes falling to the the strings of the guitar.

My heart beat fast. If only there was a way…

"Y-Yuri! I know! Remember that advertisement for the band competition? Let's do it! We can form a band, with you and I on the guitar, Monika on the piano, Sayori on the drums… Natsuki can learn the bass, and we might even recruit Natsue for vocals! Of course, we can all sing as well. What do you think!?" I said excitedly.

"W-what? B-but, that's the National Competition! How are we even going to get close to winning!?

"That doesn't matter. You know, I've been wanting to do something, something meaningful with the time that I have left. This is it, I just know it! This is what I've been looking for!"

"Y-yeah, maybe…" Yuri thought for a moment, and suddenly grinned jubilantly from ear to ear, revealing her cute teeth. She released the guitar and pumped her fist into the air. "Y-yeah! Let's do it! I mean, this is exactly what I need! We can shine as stars, making others smile… and through it all, we can find who we really are- without anything holding us back! We could be free!" Yuri leaped forward, placing her hands on mine. "Nozomu… I want to do this…"

"Yuri! Yuri, Yuri, Yuri…" I felt a strange sensation of happiness and hope, and I couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah! Let's give this everything we've got!"

"A… band?" I heard Sayori's voice behind us, and I turned to see Sayori, Monika, and Natsuki standing at the door.

"G-guys! I have the greatest idea-"

"We heard everything," Natuski interrupted. "How you're gonna shine for the world and everything."

"So, the guitar was what you wanted to show me?" Monika questioned. "That's great, Nozomu! I think it's a great idea. You better not sell that drum set of yours, Sayori!"

"You bet I won't!" Sayori replied enthusiastically.

"It'll be amazing! The two of us on guitar and everything…"

"Um, so you're asking me to learn how to play a bass all of a sudden?" Natsuki said.

"Yeah! It shouldn't be that hard," Yuri voiced. "I mean, I could help you, since it's similar to the regular guitar. And of course, I'll help you, Nozomu-kun." She grinned once more, causing my heart to skip a beat.

"A-and you're saying that we might recruit my sister?!" Natsuki remarked.

"Hey, it was just an idea," I replied. "But still. You up for this band thing?"

"To tell you the truth, I think it's AWESOME," Natsuki said unexpectedly, and jumped over to my guitar. She randomly plucked strings and strummed it. "I've always wanted to be in a band! I've always listened to the songs in anime, and I thought they were amazing… They just give you those feels, you know? You can't really explain it, but the music, it just, moves something within you… I've only dreamed of creating that feeling myself. Now, we have a chance!"

"Aww, I'm so glad…" Sayori interjected. "I've been waiting for a band to play in for so long… Who would have thought it would be with you guys?"

"I get the feeling that we're making a big decision here, but I know it's a good one," Monika added.

"I know," I said. "It is. But this is exactly what I wished for. And I'll do whatever it takes to make it come true."

On that average afternoon, we made a decision, our hearts in anticipation, in excitement, in wonder of the many things that would await down that path, which would change our lives forever.