6: My Band

"Everyone has problems."

Those were the last words she said to me. On that dreary day, when I felt that nothing, no one, could have it as hard as me.

Remember, a few chapters ago, when I talked about Momoko, the girl that used to be my friend? Well, there was more to that story. She was actually in my old school's Music Club, and she played the guitar. That was when I first laid my eyes on her- during her performance for the school festival. The moment I heard her voice- saw her delicate figure- I fell in love. It was the first time I was ever inspired to do something, to reach out and try my hardest. And I thought I did pretty well. After that day, I began to talk to her about music, and I found out that she wanted to become famous- she wanted to go abroad, and live in a huge mansion, taking tours around the world- she would spend hours describing all the adventures that she fantasized. I listened, enjoying the melodic sound of her voice and being whisked away into her imagination. I told her that I wished I could play music with her, but I didn't know any instruments. One day, another guy joined her band, and he played the guitar as well. He was a great singer, and the two of them began to practice together everyday. Momoko slowly began to drift away from me. I didn't know what to do- I was completely outclassed by the other guy. What was I to do? The closest I had felt to love, and it was gone. I spent days and nights mulling, thinking, what could I have done differently? How could I change to become more attractive to her? Maybe she just doesn't like me… These questions constantly hounded me, as Momoko slipped away from my grasp day by day. I began to return to my old ways of solitude, but I didn't want to- the feeling that I felt being with her- could not be made up with anything else. Thus, my heart was broken. I had no one to turn to, except for Momoko. So, I approached her one day.

"Momoko," I said, "Can I… talk to you?"

"Oh, Nozomu. What is it?" She said with an air of disinterest.

"I'm feeling very down. I feel like… someone very important is leaving me. Momoko… I have a really big problem… I get the feeling that you're… distancing yourself from me."

"What?" I could tell that Momoko knew what I meant. "Nozomu, girls don't like clingy guys, okay? I knew this would happen someday… that you would look upon our friendship in the wrong way…"

"So- so… you mean… that we… never had a thing?"

"Nozomu, I found myself a suitable partner, okay? My feelings for you have never changed. You were always… just Nozomu."

"But, how could you do this to me? You were my only true friend! Why do this to me, when I already have so many problems with my life? I told you already, my parents are fighting all the time, my grandpa is sick… I have too many problems to deal with! Don't take the one thing that makes me happy away…."

"Everyone has problems," Momoko replied, leaving me. I cried.

That's why I vowed never to get involved with real girls again. They're so unpredictable, always so unreadable… and yet here I am in the Literature Club, forming a band.

I don't know why, but seeing Yuri playing my guitar just brought back all those memories. All of a sudden, I was inspired to write. Hey, maybe I could put my feelings into lyrics- and Monika could make it into our debut song! So I spent a few hours, writing, editing, and trying to convey my feelings in words.

Past feelings, past regrets,

All bottled up in my heart

No one understands

The pain that I have

I guess it's the truth

Everyone has problems

After class, I excitedly leapt from my seat, ready to show my lyrics to Monika.

"Eh? Why are you extra excited today?" Yuri said curiously, stopping me.

"Oh, I wrote some lyrics that we could use for our first song! I'm going to show them to Monika-san!"

"Really? Can I read it?"

"Sure!" Yuri examined my paper.

"Awww," she remarked. "This is so sweet! I feel like it's really relatable. It's really great! I'm sure Monika will like it. Go ahead and show her! But make it quick, because I can't wait to start helping you with the guitar! I brought mine today. It's purple." Yuri was hopping up and down like a little child, and I realized that I had never seen her do so before.

I made my way to the music room, finding Monika on the piano.
"Hey Monika-san! I wrote some lyrics for our debut song! See if you like it. Maybe you could create a melody for it?"

"Oh, that's so thoughtful of you! Let's see." Monika took the paper, eyes poring over my words. After a while, she looked up.

"No," she stated plainly. "It's not good."

Taken aback, it took moments before I comprehend what she said.

"What?" I replied.

"It's not good." Monika shook her head in disapproval. "Everyone has problems. I get that, okay? We all have problems. We've heard that a million times already. Singing about it doesn't change anything. It's not really unique, get it? I'm sorry, but I have to be honest."

"B-but… it's so relatable! I thought you would like it for sure, because it's so… common, in everyone's life. We've all gone through problems, whatever they may be. So I thought…" I felt anger at Monika, who had just openly criticized my lyrics. I know, she's offering her true thoughts, but I just felt angry.

"Well, you see, Nozomu," Monika continued, handing the paper back to me, "the competition is also based on lyrical content. Which means your lyrics have to be unique. I'm pretty sure everyone else out there has emotional lyrics about struggles and problems."

"So what do you want to do!?" I burst, throwing the paper to the floor.

"I'm not really sure yet. We have to spend more time, finding the perfect words."

"What?! So you just trashed my lyrics, when you don't know what to do yourself? Why don't you write it? At least I tried!" My heart thumped in my chest. How could I be so angry at kindhearted Monika? Why am I so sensitive?

Monika was taken aback by my fury.

"Nozomu-kun! I'm sorry!" Monika bent down and picked up my paper. "I appreciate your efforts. Forgive me for being so harsh… it's just that we're going to need to do more revisions and brainstorming to perfect our song."

"Well, okay. But you didn't have to be so blunt…"

"Ah, I'm sorry. I'm not perfect, you know?" Monika said. "Here, we should just get good at playing our instruments first, okay? Let's go find the others."

Sigh. I guess my lyrics weren't the best, so there's no point in getting angry. Yet I still felt like I had been wronged. But I just gotta try harder, right?

"Nozomu-kun!" Yuri piped as I walked through the door with Monika. "Come here!" She was holding her purple electric guitar, strumming gleefully.

"Hey Yuri-san!" I waved, rushing over to unpack my guitar and join her, plugging it into an amp we borrowed from the music room. "I'm ready to learn!"

Sayori and Natsuki stared at me in dull amusement.

"And while you two are having fun, what do you expect us to do?" Natuski said dryly.

"Yeah, I don't have a drum set here, Natsuki doesn't have a bass, and Monika doesn't have a keyboard…" Sayori explained.

"Uhhh…" I replied, realizing the situation.

"Hold on," Monika said, "we might be able to ask the band if they have anything. Wanna go see?"

"Sure!" Sayori cheered, and we made our way back to the music room, where the band was gathering to begin their afternoon practice.

"Oh, Monika-san!" A prim, fashionable boy called as we entered. "Do you need anything?"

The sound of trumpets and flutes created a cacophony in the room as students set up their instruments.

"I was wondering if you had any… rock instruments you don't need..." Monika asked.

"Rock instruments? Ohhhhh. What are you guys doing? Starting a band?" the boy questioned.

"Well, yeah. Even though we're the Literature Club," I interjected.

"Wow. We haven't had a rock band on campus for a long time. Come here. We have old stuff in the storage room." The guy led us to an adjacent room, piled to the ceiling with old instruments and cases. "Over here. Here's a drum and a keyboard."

In the corner of the room stoof a drum set, with white coating. The white had faded with numerous damage markings and a thick film of dust. A silver keyboard looked much the same.

"That's… pretty ghetto," Natsuki remarked, poking the dust with her finger and brushing it off.

"Hey, it's better than nothing, right?" Yuri suggested.

"Says the person with an expensive, nice guitar," Natsuki replied.

"Hey, hey, we don't have another choice," Sayori said. "Now help me carry these drums up to our clubroom."

We lugged the instruments out the door, down the hallway, and up the stairs, to our clubroom. It was going very slowly, as I had to do most of the heavy work, until the band students got tired of us barging in and out of the room in the middle of their rehearsal to carry another drum or cymbal away. A few students helped with the moving, and soon we had a nice little rock pit in the clubroom. We cleared the desks away, except for five stuck together for our meetings. We positioned the drum set in front of the unused blackboard, and the keyboard next to it. The guitar amps were moved close, and we had a perfect setup.

"Thanks for the help!" We said to the band kids, who shrugged off the task as a daily chore (they were mostly tuba players).

"Alright! Now we can get jammin'!" I cheered.

"Umm, I don't have an instrument yet… Natsuki said."

"Ehhhh… we're going to have to buy one… there weren't any spare basses in the storage room…" Monika replied. "But don't worry. We'll go buy one later. I'll pay!"

"Wow… Monika, you're so generous…" Natsuki said humbly. "How am I going to repay you?"

"Oh, that's a small deal. Don't worry! Now, for the rest of us, we should first try to learn a simple song that everyone can play. Hmmm… how about… 'You Are My Sunshine?' That seems easy enough." Monika fiddled around with the notes on her electric keyboard, and quickly found the lighthearted melody.

"Wow, okay. That's cheesy, Monika! Ah, yeah, I get it, it's just for practice. But I gotta learn this guitar first! Yuri, please, go ahead!" I said a little too excitedly.

"Yay! Okay, here~!" Yuri suddenly grabbed my fingers in a flash of movement.

"Y-Yuri! What are you… oh…" Yuri placed my fingers on the strings.

"Nozomu-kun, please place your fingers in this position. She indicated with her own guitar. You know the names of the strings, right?"

"Ummmm…"

"Every Angel Does Good Before Easter," Yuri stated. "E, A, D, G, B, E. That's the order of the strings. See, you press down this, this, and this string. That's a G Major chord."

As Yuri explained, I was captivated by her soft, melodic, enrapturing voice.

"Ah, yes!" I replied heartily, confirming that I understood. Monika, after playing "You Are My Sunshine" a number of times, got bored and played something else, and Sayori started doing some really crazy beats.

"Wow, it sure is fun watching Nozomu and waifu-girl Yuri touching each others' fingers all afternoon," Natsuki blurted, sitting on a desk with her head in her hands.

"Hold on, hold on," Yuri said. "Almost! So, you got the chords, Nozomu-kun? Let's hear you play it!"

I strummed the chords, but hastily fumbled with the transitions in between, occasionally muting the strings as I played.

"Wow! You're such a natural, Nozomu-kun…" Yuri remarked, scooting closer. "Wanna play it together?"

"But, I suck… I messed up quite a bit…"

"Hey, but at least you can play the chords! Most people can't learn it that fast. Here!" Yuri struck up the verse, jauntily flicking her fingers back and forth. I joined in, feeling our strums fall into unison.

We turned our heads as Monika joined in, grinning as she made music with her keyboard. Sayori struck up a light beat, and Natsuki… clapped along.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…" Yuri began to sing, her delicate, calming, yet passionate voice resonating throughout the room. "You make me happy, when skies are gray…"

"You'll never know dear, how much I love you…" I sang, smiling.

"Please don't take, my sunshine away…" Sayori joined, and soon all of us were singing together, hearts in accord.

"Please don't take, my sunshine away…." We held the last note, then let it fade.

After a moment of silence, we all burst into blissful laughter.

"Hahaha! That was great!" I whooped.

"Yeah! Even though I was just clapping! But it was lit! Like, the LITerature Club? AHAHAH!" Natsuki shouted.

"Uhh, that's a really old joke," Monika interjected.

"We really sound nice together," Sayori stated. "It feels so good when we're all in harmony."

"Yeah. I guess that's what it's like to be in a band," Yuri said. "In our band."

"Yup! Now let's go buy that bass for Natsuki!" Monika said, getting up.

"Yeah!"

As we left the room, Yuri and I toting our guitar cases, Monika socked me in the arm.

"Don't give up on those lyrics, okay?" She said sweetly. "I believe in you."

"Yeah. I won't. After all, this is my band. Why would I give up?"

I gave a hearty laugh and continued down the hallway, the fading light filtering in through the windows.