Tales of an Unlikely Mage

by CrimsonLance50

An eighteen year old high school graduate gets dropped in Thedas out of the Fade. Wakes up to find that he's a mage. Follow him as he tries to survive in a hostile world that hates him for what he is while he works to gain control of his newfound abilities. Partial SI. Eventual pairings. DA2 with mention of Origins. Rating for language and violence.

6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age. I only own my OC. I'm just letting him play around with Bioware's world.

A/N at the end

-o0o-

~6~

-o0o-

Have I ever mentioned that I don't like boats?

Especially rickety-ass cargo ships filled to the brim with refugees instead of barrels and crates of goods because of the Blight?

No?

Well then.

I don't fucking like boats.

I'm just asking because that's where I find myself right now. On some flimsy, rat-infested thing that's barely able to float and yet is trying to pass itself off as a boat. All the while continuously glaring at some of the shadier male passengers leering at the unconscious girl in my arms. Bethany had been utterly exhausted by the time we made it onto the ship from Gwaren's port and she needed sleep badly but feared for her well being if she nodded off.

I promised her that I'd watch over her while she slept so nobody would get any foul ideas. She agreed to the plan without a second thought and quickly fell into a relatively peaceful slumber curled up against my side. I feel honored that she trusts me enough to fall asleep against me in such an uncertain environment. Even more so considering my subpar battle performance back in Lothering and the fact that her infinitely more skilled brothers are around here somewhere. Her trust will not be misplaced. So far, my constant vigilance over Beth has kept the assholes at bay.

"You really do care for her, don't you?" Hawke's voice rings out softly from somewhere within the darkness of the ship's hold.

I stop my glaring at the passengers to look for the source of the sound, wanting to make sure I didn't just imagine it after the long silence that had taken over the hold. Scared and desperate refugees don't make for the best conversationalists. It doesn't take long for me to find Hawke and Carver sitting together near the base of the ship's mast underneath the hatch. Light from the stars and moon overhead shine down through the hatch and provide just enough light for me to be able to make out their faces. I could also see Aveline and Leandra situated nearby the two men but their backs were to me so I couldn't tell if they were awake or not.

Carver appears to be dozing while Hawke is giving me that same curious look that I noticed throughout the entire flight from Lothering. Hell, I even noticed that look while we made our way to Gwaren when he thought I wasn't looking after Flemeth got us past the horde. He must have something on his mind.

Speaking of which, Flemeth had upheld her end of the bargain splendidly and without any problems. The witch had led us back the way we came through the city killing any stray Darkspawn we encountered with ruthless efficiency. We never had to lift a finger to help her, though we tried, because she simply didn't need it. The woman was flinging around ridiculous amounts of power at will, decimating the Darkspawn with creative and diabolical uses of magic. Fire, ice, lightning, earth, and even a few spirit spells were thrown into the mix as we sedately followed her path of destruction. She did all this without a staff, too. This made us all even more terrified of the timeless witch but we kept moving forward. I mean, what else could we do? In the end, Flemeth's lead lasted until we neared the Imperial Highway and then she abruptly told us to wait.

When asked what she was doing, all Flemeth said was that she was going to give the Darkspawn "something to smell" in order to draw them away from us. She just needed us out of the way for now and told us that we would be able to pass in about an hour. She also told us that we likely would not meet again for some time. We all had our reservations about her plan but at this point, we had no choice but to go along with it. We had firmly cast our lot behind the old hag and so we had to deal with whatever it was that she decided until we made it past the horde.

I've got to say that what came next was probably the most tense hour I had ever spent in my life. We literally had to stay put in a little clearing outside the city amid the ruins of Lothering. After emerging from battle like we had not long before, inactivity was probably the last thing we wanted. With nothing to occupy us other than our own fear, the group was put more on edge than we already had been.

Aveline was still grieving for Wesley and refused to speak to anyone more than was strictly necessary. She sat at the end of the clearing under the pretense of being on watch and didn't say a word after her announcement telling of her intent. No one bothered her.

Leandra was exhausted and doing everything in her power to rest before we had to move again. She didn't mean to, but she fell asleep within moments of sitting down and we could all hear her pitiful sounding moans while she slept. Already, the older woman was having nightmares about our ordeals.

Carver and Hawke were sitting with their heads put together in their own corner of the clearing and were speaking quickly with hushed and clipped tones. I couldn't hear what they were saying but I'd be willing to bet my ass that it had something to do with a mage of some sort. Whether it was me, Flemeth or Bethany, I could not tell but covert glances over towards where I was sitting with their sister were not missed.

As for Bethany and I, we had found our own little spot and were leaning against a tree but we were using each other as support almost as much as the living wood behind us. We were both lost in our own thoughts and didn't say much, simply wanting to be in the other's company. I can't really say what it was Bethany thought of, but I know that my thoughts were tumultuous. Between contemplations of what I'm going to have to do in the future and what I just did not long ago, I was not in the best of moods.

I think it had finally hit me that I had killed repeatedly to make it out of the fighting alive. Not that I was particularly bothered by that. Actually, no. That would be inaccurate. I was bothered, just not so much by the killing itself...I think. Man, this is difficult to explain. Let's try this again. What was bothering me was how unconcerned I felt about being the cause of death of another living creature - Darkspawn or not - and the fact that I will have to kill again in the future. Quite soon and rather often if my memories of Hawke's adventures in Kirkwall were correct.

I'm still not sure how that sits with me.

It's funny...I've always hated it when I watch or read something where the protagonist agonizes over the fact that they had to kill in order to survive if they're in that situation. It's kill or be killed. There isn't room for any hesitation or petty doubts because those things will just get you killed yourself. It isn't a very difficult concept to grasp. I understand these things intellectually and yet here I am doing the same things that I claim to hate. I might've laughed if my thoughts weren't otherwise occupied at the moment.

I understand the necessity of having to kill in this universe, truly I do. Not only am I traveling with Hawke who quite literally leaves a trail of bodies on his way to fame and fortune, but I am also a Mage. I'm not stupid or naive enough to think that I'll just be left alone when I have this power at my disposal. There's also Bethany to think about. If there is anything that I'm sure Templars hate more than a mage, it's two mages working together. If there's anything they hate more than that, it's two mages who are not only working together but are also screwing each other, potentially adding to the population of mages in Thedas. The Templars probably wouldn't even bother to capture Bethany and I if they ever catch wind of us. They'd likely just kill us on sight.

Not that Bethany and I have even gotten to that point in our very, very new relationship but I'm just imagining the thought processes of your average Templar. It is inevitable that to protect the freedom of both myself and Bethany, I will undoubtedly have to fight and kill again.

I get the logic but the act of actually doing it...it takes something out of you. Maybe not so much in the moment when adrenaline and fear is driving you forward, but in the secluded hours afterward where you have nothing but your thoughts to keep you occupied. It's then when you realize what you've done and you have to somehow assuage your consciousness that you did the right thing. It truly is more difficult than I had thought it would be.

I've heard once that for a person who kills repeatedly in an army or for a cause or whatever, that they should only become worried about themselves when killing stops bothering them. That the feeling of having done something wrong and immoral is supposed to be what reminds you of your hold on your humanity. It's supposedly what reassures you that you haven't become a monster and that, deep down, you're still a human being. You're still you.

Here I am, only one battle under my belt and I am completely unconcerned about how I laid waste to the Darkspawn. I have absolutely no regrets regarding every blighted life that I had ended. Only one battle with what is sure to be countless more to come, and I am already without remorse. Granted, I didn't kill as many as say Hawke or Carver, but a fair amount of the monsters died by my hand and I am completely okay with it. That is what is bothering me as best as I can describe it.

I don't know...somehow I just get the impression that I should be feeling something about the situation. At least initially. This grim acceptance that this is how it must be is a good thing in the long run but it should take a little longer to come to me than it has, right? The fact that it didn't is cause for concern.

But that's beside the point. I'm getting too far ahead of myself.

After the allotted hour was up, we gathered our things and moved onto the Imperial Highway alone. Flemeth was long gone and frankly, I was glad to be rid of her. Creepy bitch. Together, we began to head towards Gwaren along the road under Hawke's direction. Don't ask me which direction it was in, though, because I had no fucking clue. I just stayed close to Bethany and followed Hawke as he navigated the Highway with the ease of a man who had traveled it many times before.

It is really easy to follow Hawke when he leads you somewhere, by the way. Even now, the man already had a confidence and swagger that is way above his current station in life. Whatever his personality may or may not be, you can just feel the nobility and leadership radiating off of him. He was born to lead others, that much is obvious. For some reason, it's strangely reassuring knowing that my life is at least partially in his hands.

Not that I'd tell him that, of course.

Entering the highway, I noticed that the place was disturbingly deserted and deathly silent. You could hear the wind whistle through the broken and shriveled trees that the Darkspawn left behind and the sounds of our footsteps seemed unnaturally loud in the deep silence. It was creepy as shit and kept us all on edge. We continued like this for a time but once we realized that we hadn't come across any Darkspawn in about another hour or so, we relaxed a bit. Flemeth had apparently come through and got us onto the highway past the horde. Just as she said she would.

After we had left the Lothering area behind for good, the path became understandably crowded. Refugees littered the entire road and we seamlessly blended into the crowd. Bethany and I had given our staves to Carver who had wrapped them in a spare cloak and carried them with his sword on his back to avoid any awkward stares or questions. His harness even had a few extra slots for that exact purpose. A benefit of having an apostate family that always had to be on the move, I suppose.

The moment I parted with my staff, however, I felt an immediate pang of loss. As if I had lost something very important to me and I was itching to have it back in my possession as soon as possible. I did NOT like it. It wasn't just an emotional thing either. I physically felt diminished and somehow weaker without my staff. Like someone had cut off one of my arms and I had to try and function without it. I remember turning to Bethany to ask what the hell was going on but she just shook her head and mouthed "not now" to my disappointment. I'm not ashamed to say that I sulked throughout the trip to Gwaren

We continued like this along the highway for the better part of two days until we eventually reached the coastal city of Gwaren. It was larger than I had expected and was positively teeming with life...and the smell of fish. One of Gwaren's many charms, I'm sure. Most people seemed rightly oblivious to the stench and were scrambling everywhere for what appeared to be no apparent reason. Desperation seemed to permiate the city's very air along with the fishy smell wafting amid the coastal breze. Hawke appeared equally unaffected by it and hurried us straight to the docks. I didn't even get a good look at the place before we were on the first boat headed to Kirkwall that we could find.

Normally, I'd assume that task would be harder to accomplish, but bribing the ship's captain with a sovereign per head at the last minute tends to help things along. It made a sizable dent in our combined cash but the extra packing I had organized saved us from being broke. We still had about four sovereigns between us and another three to five in sellable objects. Still not rich but far better off than we could've been. We boarded the ship and took our spots in the hold, finally allowing ourselves to rest during the journey across the Waking Sea to our new home. The captain told us that in fair weather it was only a six hour journey. The sky was mercifully clear and a strong breeze floated on the wind so we could expect a smooth journey from his view.

But back to the present, in any case.

"What?" I ask to the inky shadows of the ship's hold. Clouds have shifted and the light has dimmed, limiting my view of the hold. I speak to the general area that I saw Hawke in before.

"You really care for her don't you, Anthony?" Hawke asks me again in a surprisingly level and patient tone. The light shifts again and I can make out Hawke's form again. From what little I can see of his body, Hawke is relaxed and is showing no real aggravation or anger. This might be the first time he's directly addressed me with no hostility present in his voice or stance. I think he actually wants to talk for real this time and not try to interrogate me for once. That is...welcome.

"Yeah, I guess I do." I say while looking at the sleeping girl in my arms with a small smile. She looks peaceful.

"You guess?" He responds with a slight laugh. A dull thunk tells me that he leaned his head back against the wooden post he's situated against. "Well you must put a lot of stock in guesses where you come from because that is not the look of someone unsure about their feelings."

Huh? "What do you mean?" I ask skeptically.

"I think I'd literally have to pry you from Bethany's side at this point. You're hovering over her like a mabari." Hawke says in that same surprisingly good-natured tone. "I'm not sure how much you know about mabari warhounds, but they are among the most loyal and stubborn creatures you could find anywhere. Once they set their mind to something, nothing and no one will make them budge."

"So...you're comparing me to a dog?"

"I'm Ferelden!" He gives another genuine laugh. "Coming from one of us that is probably the best complement you'll ever get."

"Ha! You've got me there!"

"Indeed I do but I think I should rephrase my question. Or better yet ask a better one...or two for that matter. What are your intentions when we reach Kirkwall as well as regarding my sister?"

Silence stretches between us for a brief moment. Hawke is completely serious again. There still is no hint of his earlier hostility but he is still resolute in his declaration.

"I know you explained something of the sort to me earlier but indulge me for a moment. It's just us and a few dozen of my filthiest kinsmen in the bottom of the best ship six sovereigns could buy during a Blight. No need to be nervous at all. Be completely honest."

"I...don't know. It's not like I planned any of this. Shit, ever since I got here things have just happened. We hadn't even been...together for more than five minutes before you stormed through the door."

I pause and look out the hatch to the stars for guidance. I don't know what I expect to find but the twinkling lights help me to calm my nerves and focus my thoughts. I sigh a bit before turning back to Hawke.

"Look, I already made the closest thing you'll get to a grand speech regarding things with Beth. I stand by what I said before in that I really do care about your sister. I get what you're trying to do. I have younger sisters myself and the first time one of them brought a boy home I was beyond suspicious of the kid for no good reason. I pretty much did what you are doing to me but haven't I earned a little benefit of the doubt, considering?"

"I suppose. Killing Darkspawn together does tend to build some kind of trust. But that was then. We're out of the Blight's path for now and heading towards Maker knows what in Kirkwall. As much as it pains me to admit it, Bethany is a grown woman and can make her own decisions. If she's happy with you and you treat her well, then who am I to stop anything you may have together?"

I feel an almost imperceptible surge of happiness at Hawke's words. He all but gave me his blessing to continue my burgeoning relationship with his sister. That is a major relief and a monumental weight off my shoulders. Before I could express my gratitude, however, he continues.

"What I really want to know, Anthony, is if I can count on you to stick around once we reach Kirkwall. I don't know what we'll find there but I'm sure that we'll have our share of challenges."

You have no idea, buddy.

"I'd rather have people I can trust around me while we settle in. Suffice it to say the only people I can even remotely say that I have any faith in all boarded this ship with me."

"Wait, you just interrogated me about your sister and then say that I'm one of the few people you trust in the world?" I ask incredulously. This guy really is something else.

"Well, I'm still an older brother. It would be a crime not to make the new boyfriend sweat a little." Hawke says with a light chuckle before getting serious again. "Besides, not many men would so readily lay their life on the line for both a girl he just started courting and her family who had repeatedly threatened him the way you did. Relations with my sister or not, you are clearly a good man and I honestly could do far worse in my choice of companions."

"Are you sure about this? I mean, I'm thrilled at the offer but are you really sure that you want to get involved with someone like me? Especially in this city? I'd completely understand if you change your mind but I have to ask."

I didn't outright say it but I knew that Hawke was well aware of what I was talking about. Was he really willing to risk associating with another Mage in Kirkwall? The place is swarming with Templars and it'll probably be hard enough to hide just one Mage in Bethany, let alone two if we both stayed before he rose in prominence. It wouldn't be fair if I didn't give him the chance to think it over.

Hawke just laughs. "Anthony, I'm sure Beth has told you a bit about our father." I nod. Game knowledge aside, Bethany really did share a few stories about Malcolm Hawke. He seemed like he was of a good sort. "You remind me of him a little and trust me, I knew just how to deal with him and Beth. If anything, having you around will almost feel like things going back to normal."

"Well, damn. You've got me again."

"Damn straight I do." He says with another laugh. "So, what do you say Anthony? Care to help me make something of ourselves in sunny Kirkwall?"

Hawke smiles and reaches his hand over the relatively short distance between us in the ship's hold. I smile back and carefully reach my own hand out so I don't wake Bethany. I grasp Hawke's hand and give him a firm shake. He has a good grip.

"Alright Hawke, I'm there whenever you need me." I say cheerfully. A sly smile reaches my face. "Unless Bethany needs me more, of course. Then you might have to wait awhile."

A weak punch hits me on my arm and some incoherent mumbling reaches my ears, sounding suspiciously like the word, 'idiot'. I look down to see a still sleeping Bethany with her hand in a fist near where I was hit and a furrowed brow. Hawke bursts into quiet laughter as he looks at what is sure to be a bewildered expression on my face.

"Well, it looks like she has that side of things covered." Hawke says amid his laughter. "She's been a little different these past few days, I've noticed. More confident, a bit more outspoken, and generally happier. You know, as much as can be expected anyway. I assume I have you to thank for that?"

"Seems like it."

"Then keep up the good work, Anthony." Hawke says still smiling at me. He truly seems happy for his me and his sister now that he knows that I am genuine in my feelings for Bethany. "Why don't you get some sleep. We should reach Kirkwall soon and you need to get some rest. I'll stay up and keep watch for you."

"You sure?" I ask, trying to keep a note of relief out of my voice. I'm tired as hell but Beth asked me to watch her. I don't want to let her down.

"Yeah, you're good. I've got this and if she asks, I forced you."

"Thanks man, I appreciate it."

With that I shift a little to find a more comfortable spot against Bethany and finally close my eyes. I fall asleep almost instantly amid the gentle rocking of the boat and the warmth of Bethany's body pressed against my own. Thankfully, the Fade did not trouble me.

-o0o-

A loud THUNK and a firm shake on my shoulder awoke me from my slumber. I open my eyes blearily to see a serious looking Hawke prodding me. Not hostile or suspicious for once, just serious.

"Wake Bethany," he says evenly, gesturing to his still sleeping sister at my side. "We're here."

I nod in confirmation and shake Beth in a similar manner as he did me while trying to shake off some of the cobwebs from sleep. I probably should have gotten more sleep but I'm up now. Hawke stalks off to the other side of the hold to get the rest of the party while I'm on Bethany patrol.

I nudge her again and she lets out a small groan and mumbles incoherently before shifting to try to burrow closer into my side. I internally sigh a little. She's obviously comfortable and doesn't want to get up yet. I don't blame her. I am just as happy sitting here with her as she appears to be but as endearing and adorable as this is, we kinda need to get moving. I don't want to be on this boat any longer than is strictly necessary and every second we're still here is more than I'd prefer.

I shake her again with a little more force this time. "Bethany..." I call out. "We're here, it's time to move."

"Five more minutes..."

"Sorry, but the pillow is moving now." I say. I start to move and Bethany's head slips a bit from me. Not enough for her head to fall against the ground but just enough to make it seem like she was going to. The sudden shift in balance does the trick and she's immediately up and aware.

"Huh, what?!" She whips her head around as if looking for danger, but she only finds me grinning cheekily at her. "Anthony? What was that for!"

"We're here." I say. "It seemed like the easiest way to wake you up."

Bethany shakes her head ruefully though I can see her shoulders visibly relax."You're impossible.."

"Impossible?" I question with an air of false confusion before lighting up like I just figured it out."Yup, that's me! But still we should get going. We don't want to keep sunny Kirkwall waiting to see our pretty faces!"

Bethany mumbles somewhat disgruntledly to herself but flashes me a small smile anyway before clambering up and grabbing my hand in hers. She seems to really like the hand holding thing. We banter like this all the time and she knows not to take it too seriously. It's all in good fun and I never do anything to make her mad at me for long. Meanwhile, it looks like Hawke and the others have already left the hold so Beth and I venture out into the bright sunlight streaming down the hatch by ourselves. Within a few seconds I finally catch my first glimpse of Kirkwall.

The first thing I see are several massive stone towers rising into the sky and etched with intricate carvings and bronze statues. The Gallows. The towers made me feel small and insignificant in a way that no skyscraper ever has and the statues were just morbid and disturbing. Knowing a bit of Kirkwall's history, they were obviously slaves depicted in various states of despair. Leftovers from when Kirkwall was part of the Tevinter Imperium and the Gallows was a prison for incoming slaves.

The statues all had their heads bowed, backs hunched and hands over their eyes. They dotted the towers and the rocky cliffs precariously placed around the entrance to the dock our ship was heading to. Those cliffs were sketchy. Every few seconds I had a mini heart attack thinking that the damn boat was about to ram into one of them. Thankfully the navigator knew what he was doing and deftly moved us between the rocks, never so much as grazing a single one.

The entire setup was intimidating but if I remember correctly, it was designed to be so. The Tevinters wanted to break the spirits of the incoming slaves by making the city's entrance as disheartening as possible. It worked. Add in the fact that this place is where I'd end up if the Templars catch me and I have never felt more unwelcome in my life. This even tops my first meeting with the brothers Hawke. Oh, well...I better get used to it. This is going to be home for he foreseeable future. Need to look at the bright sides. I should probably be glad that the Free Marchers no longer hang dead bodies in front of the damn place anymore like the Tevinters did. That's something at least.

A jarring shake of the bitch-boat breaks me out of my thoughts and brings my attention back to the present. Namely in that the boat has stopped. A gangplank has been lowered across a gap and I can see other refugees filing across it single file into their new lives in the City of Chains. Hawke, Leandra, Aveline and Carver all have their place in line already so Bethany and I make our way to the rest of our party.

Hawke greets us with a smile and a surprisingly friendly pat on the back while Carver and Aveline spares us no more than a glance and nod before returning their gazes to the crowds of people that are quickly becoming apparent as we cross into the smooth stone of the Gallows' dock. Leandra, for her part, is simply looking around with a nostalgic look in her eye. How strange it must be for her to return to her childhood home after so many years. I wonder how much has changed since she last lived here.

Walking together, we step into a small courtyard outside of a wide open gate. Standing in front of the gate is a man in full armor besieged by a veritable mob of refugees. He's barking out something to the people surrounding him but I can't really hear it from where I'm standing. Whatever it is doesn't seem to agree with them though as the crowd's shouts rise in volume. Getting in won't be as easy as we had assumed. We all look on at this scene in various states of disbelief and acceptance. I knew better and had expected something like this but everyone else is caught off guard.

"They're not even letting people past the gates," says an incredulous Aveline. "Unbelievable."

Hawke gives a nonchalant shrug. "I'm surprised they even let us dock."

I chuckle a bit at Hawke's comment. No matter how many times I hear that one it still makes me laugh. "Well, there's probably someone we can talk to about maybe letting us in. I doubt it'll be that simple though."

"We need to find Gamlen." Leandra says with an almost pleading hint of urgency. "Our family has always been highly regarded in Kirkwall. He can do something, I'm sure of it."

I wince a bit at that, though luckily no one noticed. I almost forgot about Gamlen and how he pissed away any and all influence the Amells once had in Kirkwall. Leandra is in for a nasty surprise when we find him.

"Let's hope be received your letter." Carver says wryly. Leandra did indeed have just enough time to send off a hastily written letter to Gamlen from Gwaren as we waited for Hawke to secure us passage across the Waking Sea. I can only hope that he got the letter by now.

"Indeed," Hawke says eyeing the crowd warily. He's being serious again. "I'll talk to the guard and see what's going on. Wait here."

He moves to walk over to the guard but is strangely stopped by Carver. He is not pleased. "Oh no you don't, Brother! We've talked about this. We go together or not at all from now on, remember?"

Hawke pauses and simply looks at his brother for a moment. Oh this should be good. I knew there was no way this weird peace between them would last. However, much to the surprise of everyone save Aveline who doesn't know them that well yet, Hawke simply nods and gestures for Carver to follow. The two of them stalk off into the crowd, leaving the rest of us by ourselves. An awkward silence falls over us as we watch them go.

"Okay, I'm confused." I say to the group. "Anybody else know what that was about?"

"No...normally that would have been an argument." Bethany replies looking just as confused. "Maybe a fight. Garrett and Carver never did get along that well, ever since they started their sword training. It's gotten worse in the last year since Carver and I turned eighteen."

Hold on, what? "You said they haven't gotten along since they started training." I say turning more directly to Bethany. "Does that mean they used to be close before then?"

"Oh yes." Leandra chirps with enthusiasm. We all turn to her, curiosity written plain on our faces. "Carver used to follow Garrett everywhere he went. Bethany would always be with Malcolm for their lessons and I would be running errands around the house so the boys would just play on their own. You should have seen how adorable they were together! Always mucking about and getting into trouble. They were such little boys. Never had knees that weren't scraped or clothes that wasn't covered in mud and dirt. Oh, sometimes I miss those days." Leandra sighs and looks wistfully off in the distance again.

I ponder this new information and glance over to the brothers over in the crowd. They had made it through and were currently speaking to the guard in front. They didn't look particularly close right now but that could just be me. Or the fact that their body language was very businesslike as they continued their conversation. Not a lot of room for brotherly love in their current predicament to be honest. Regardless, I'm still finding it hard to comprehend what Leandra and Bethany are telling me. My vision of Carver is that of the younger brother with a gigantic chip on his shoulder that makes him something of an asshole. I never once thought about why he might be that way. It's interesting.

"If they used to be so close, what happened?" I ask curiously.

"They never admitted it but I think they shared a bond over not having our problem." Bethany says neutrally, looking dead at me. "They took up swordsmanship together as something to set them apart from father and I...but no one could have anticipated Garrett's skill."

"Surely, it couldn't have been that bad, darling..." Leandra tries to say with a slight laugh.

"No mother, it was." Bethany says nonchalantly. Like it was simply a statement of fact and nothing more. "Garrett was perfectly terrifying the moment blades were put into his hands. He still is actually." A slight shudder runs through Beth and I squeeze her hand a little tighter. I'm still hanging on to her every word though. This was definitely not in the game.

She continues, "I remember that I would watch them train from inside whenever I had a break from practice or helping father with the shop. They were like night and day, mother. Garrett was...like water. He moved and flowed so easily and the blade was like an extension of him. It was almost as if he was born to bear arms." Bethany says that last part with something bordering on awe in her voice.

I feel the need to defend Carver for some reason. "I think I'd agree with that judging how he handled the Darkspawn." I say. "But Carver more than held his own too. I'd say that he was nearly as impressive in his own right. He is really good with that greatsword from where I stand."

"Yes, he is now but he wasn't always." Bethany says with the slight hint of a patronizing tone. I don't let it get to me, I'm too far engrossed in the story and I honestly don't know how things were back then.

"They both started training young," she continues with the grace of a natural story teller. I can tell she's excited right now...it makes the patronizing easier to swallow and it's actually kind of cute in it's own way. "Around the time father started my lessons. At the time they only used one dagger each as if it were a longsword because of their size. Garrett took to it almost immediately but where he excelled, Carver absolutely failed. I didn't even know what I should've been watching for back then and I knew that he was horrible. He was ungainly and always seemed to throw himself off balance. He would end up covered in accidental cuts and bruises that father and I would always have to heal. Garrett took to it so well that it made little Carver sad and ridiculously jealous of him. Over the years, Carver worked so hard to set himself apart from Garrett and to prove that he is just as good despite Garrett's natural talent. But no matter how hard he worked, Garrett was always better and not just with swordplay. Everything Garrett touched it seemed that he immediately became good at. Carver always had to work twice as hard to become half as good and it infuriated him. No matter what they tried, Garrett was always better and received the most recognition and praise. Carver became bitter and determined to do things differently than Garrett. Garrett became a nimble rogue that wields daggers? Carver grabs the biggest sword he can find and works on his strength. Anything to set himself apart. It's why I think he ran off to join the army so quickly when they passed through. He still feels that inferiority, I think, and wanted to do something of his own."

"I bet Garrett joining the army did nothing but make it worse." I say.

"Probably." Bethany replies with a shrug. "But they seem okay now...maybe they worked it out while they were gone?"

"Maybe."

We fall into another silence after that, but this one is more contemplative than awkward. Bethany must have seen a lot growing up to be so detailed. Or she just knows her brothers well. That makes sense. I mean, Carver IS her twin after all. Why wouldn't she have a better insight regarding him than most? Even so, that was more than I would have expected and her words about her brothers intrigues me.

Playing the game, I never really cared much for Carver as he just came across as a douche towards Hawke for no real good reason. Bethany gave me a possible reason why he has that chip on his shoulders and I think I empathize with him a little more than I ever had in my playthroughs of the game. Maybe his attitude was just a matter of the admittedly shitty circumstances for him in the game to cause him to act so retarded. If so, he might not be the same as I'd seen in the games because I've already changed some of those circumstances that made him act the way he did. But if that's true for him, then it would be logical to assume the same for everyone else I'm going to meet.

It brings the whole idea of nature vs nurture to mind...which parts of personality are simply in a person's nature from their genetics, or whatever, and which parts are created due to the environment, namely events and the people around them? I may end up having to be "nurturing" and decide what traits I would like to help along in our companions to ease the Hawkes' time in Kirkwall. Because I think that's what I've decided my role should be while I'm here: to help the Hawkes any way I can.

I owe them all my life and I know the kinds of trouble that will befall them in the upcoming years. So much will happen to them they've done nothing to deserve...and while I'm sure Garrett would come out stronger from it all, I don't like the cost that strength would require. In the game, it's possible for Hawke to lose his entire family if he fucks up enough. Even if everything will continue to move onward without the entire Hawke family, I don't want it to.

Leandra, as overbearing and fussy as she is, is a sweet woman and had helped me when I needed it the most. She lodged me, fed me, gave me meaningful work and trusted me when she had every reason not to back in Lothering. She doesn't deserve the grisly death she received in the game and I think that there is something of use she can do, somewhere. Even if there isn't, I will not let her die so needlessly if I can help it! I owe her that much.

Carver...is simply trying to find himself, I think. I'm still piecing things together with him from Bethany's story and what I remember from the game. But I figure he might need a friendly ear who he isn't trying to compete with at all times. An actual friend. His relationship with his brother seems to be getting better but I think being his friend and someone he can trust outside of the family is something that might be of more help to him than either of us might know. It sounds kinda stupid to me, but it really is the only thing I can think of for the time being regarding Carver. Besides, I find myself interested in knowing the guy. I only played as a Mage once in the game and kept him out of my party a lot because of how much he annoyed me. There's a great deal about him that I probably missed. I'm curious.

Bethany is complicated. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't biased in coming up with this role for myself and that I didn't think about her and how it could affect whatever it is we have going on. I know how important family is to her and I know how crushed she'd be if she lost any of them. Even now, Bethany still acutely feels her father's absence and he's been gone for well over a year now. I don't want to cause her any undue pain if I can help it.

Truthfully, she doesn't need me to protect her in the conventional sense, but damn it if I'm not going to do what I can for her. I really do like her and I want to see what this is that we have but I refuse to be blinded by it. There's still a hell of a lot that I need to do just to be comfortable with myself being here before I can really take an active hand in anything. My distinct lack of knowledge and control over my power as well as Flemeth's cryptic words unsettle me more than a little bit.

She had implied a deeper connection between Bethany and I than we'd suspected...In her own creepy-ass way, of course, but the implication is still odd. What did she mean by it and why do I have such a bad feeling about whatever the hell it might be? I don't like having unanswered questions but the answers are likely way above my pay grade for now. Besides, the fact remains that I'm too weak to do anything about it even if I did have them. Regardless of Flemeth's statements, there's no way I'd push Bethany away. If it causes problems later, then so be it. Being with her just feels natural, like it was where I was always meant to be. I'm not going to give that up just because some crazy old woman said something scary. However, I refuse to be a burden on Bethany or anybody else again.

I'm going to train my magic as well as my body and work hard to make sure that when the time comes for me to do my part for the family, I'll be ready right at Bethany and Garrett's side when they need me.

Garrett Hawke, though...with him, I'll simply try to be a friend and another opinion on his travels. At the end of the day the decision making up to him. I'll make comments and give pointers depending on the situation like any other party member. But I won't be making decisions just for him. The survival of the entire family...which I'm subconsciously including future and current party members, will be my priority. I figure that I can use my knowledge of future events to help things for the better when the opportunities arise but as a general rule, I'll just try and hold my own.

I smile as I finish my thoughts, feeling a little lighter. I still have problems with being here and what my ultimate purpose is, but I have a pretty well defined plan for what I want to do to help. I think this might not be so bad!

Looking up, I see Garrett and Carver return with annoyed looks on their faces.

"Any news?" I ask cheerfully.

"The guard there is an ass," Carver answers with a scowl I can see isn't directed at me. "But he pointed us to someone else we can talk to in the courtyard."

Hawke nods in assent. "He said that there's no more room in the city, but I refuse to accept that." He gestures his head to a large hallway under an arch behind the guard they were just talking to. "Come on, he's supposed to be that way."

Hawke starts walking and we all follow wordlessly. Halfway there, Bethany breaks the silence. "So, was your husband based out of the Lothering Chantry, Aveline?"

"No." Aveline answers simply. Wow, I had almost forgotten that she was here. "Wesley was based out of Denerim and business led him elsewhere."

"I see."

"Were you and Anthony familiar with every Templar in Lothering?"

"Bethany was." I say without losing sight of Hawke's bobbing form in front of us. "I was learning and knew most of them before we had to leave. I knew all of their faces, though." It's true. That was one of the many things that Bethany taught me in Lothering to help keep me safe.

"Right." Bethany assents with a nod. "How else were we supposed to run and hide?"

"I see..."

"Let us through, you flaming blighter!" A voice I don't recognize cries out. "We're not staying in this pit!"

Looking around, I see a small, but more importantly, armed and armored group of men arguing with a lone guard directly in our path. They're absolutely filthy and their armor is dented and nicked with signs of past battles. Each one has deep bags under their eyes as if they hadn't slept in days and a look of desperation on their faces.

Frankly, they look like shit. However, looking like some form of excrement doesn't stop them from appearing supremely pissed off. They look on the verge of exploding, especially the guy I'm assuming to be the leader who spoke. I don't particularly relish having to walk past them or interacting with them at all, but judging by the direction Hawke is leading us, that's the guard we have to talk to. Oh joy...

"Then get back on your ship and leave." Says the guard. "Kirkwall has no more room for refugees."

"The ship's already gone." Another of the mercenaries says petulantly. "We paid good coin to get here!"

"You and half of Ferelden," the guard replies resolutely. "There's nothing I can do. The city is full!" I've got to hand it to the guy. He isn't backing down at all despite being outnumbered by angry, dirty and likely desperate mercenaries - or whatever the hell they are.

"One of the guards said you were letting in people who have business in the city." Says Hawke stonily. He crosses his arms and looks at the new guard with a level stare.

"That's right! We've seen you let lots of people through!" The apparent leader says, thinking Hawke to be his salvation.

"Citizens and merchants that make it worth our while." The guard replies to Hawke, ignoring the cries of the other man in armor. He seems to be looking for any excuse to not have to deal with them any longer. "I'll assume that you don't have any more coin than these gentlemen? We've been letting you Fereldans in for months. You're too late. There's no more room!"

"But we've got family here!" Bethany cries out.

"I've heard claims like that a thousand times already. Trust me. We'll send some ships to take you all back to Ferelden - eventually. Until then, you stay here."

"Surely there's someone higher up that we could persuade." Leandra says sweetly to the guard.

He's unimpressed. "The city's been closed by order of the viscount and Knight-Commander Meredith, whose fortress you're standing in. But as far as you're concerned, I'm in charge."

"Listen, there must be something we can work out. How much?" Carver says, blunt as ever.

Again, the guard isn't buying. "No foreigner can enter unless they prove they have coin to bring into the city."

"You mean a bribe." Says Aveline darkly. Uh-oh...Guard-Captain mode activated!

"Technically, the viscount's ordered that no one enters. You want to be a special case, you have to be special."

Aveline continues to glare at the man. The fact that she'd essentially be breaking the law just by getting into the city to survive makes her indignation over a bribe seem pretty stupid, but she isn't letting up. Nice as she may be, her law-abiding ways aren't going to help us much here.

"You want eyes looking the other way, that takes convincing," the guard says, crossing his arms resolutely. "And the price goes up each day this continues."

"You never answered Carver's question, though." I say evenly. "How much?"

"More than I'm sure you all could afford."

"That's not an answer." I respond stubbornly. "You can't tell us that we need coin to get in without telling us how much coin we need. For all you know we might have it. Answer the question: how much?"

The guard pauses, looking dead at me. Like I give a fuck. He needs to stop with this vague bullshit.

"Five sovereigns." He finally says. I feel hope rise in my chest. We actually have that much between us! Or if we don't, we soon will once we get the chance to sell our excess shit! We won't have to work our way into the city after all!

"Each." The guard finishes.

All of that hope suddenly dies in my chest. There's six of us. Together that's thirty sovereigns. There's no way in hell we have that kind of coin.

"Well, shit..." I say despondently.

"That's outrageous!" One of the mercenaries yells. "It took all our coin just to get here!"

"I thought as much."

Hawke finally decides to speak up. "If you find our uncle, Gamlen Amell, you might just have a few less refugees bothering you."

"Gamlen. I know that name..."

"He's a nobleman here in the city." Leandra says eagerly. "Our family has an estate."

"A nobleman?" The guard says incredulously. "The only Gamlen I know is a weasel who couldn't rub two coppers together."

Oh, shit. Cue up the disappointment.

Not bothering to acknowledge the looks of shock and disbelief on the faces of Leandra and her children, the guard continues on. "He comes back, I'll bring him to you. But I don't have time to-"

"What?!" The mercenary leader interrupts loudly. "You're going to let them through?"

"I didn't say anything about-"

"We've been here for four days!" A subordinate yells, equally as indignant as the leader. "They just got here!"

The leader's face turns to stone. Oh shit...I remember this now. They're going to start a fight and we'll get dragged in it. This is not good. "That's it!" He says forcefully with malice and frustration practically shinning in his eyes. "We're carving our way ou-"

"Quick, he's reaching for his weapon!" I yell frantically, pointing what I hope to be fearfully at the man's hand which really was inching towards his sword. "Guards! Hawke! Carver! Get him!"

"Wha-?"

The man wasn't able to get more than that one syllable out before Hawke had a blade at the loud leader's throat. Damn, I didn't even see him move. Almost as quickly, Carver and Aveline had stepped in between the leader and the rest of his men, weapons out and ready. The tired mercenaries take a step back and hesitate to go to their leader's rescue at the gesture.

Meanwhile, I grab Leandra's and Bethany's wrists and gently tug them back out of the way of any impending battle. Just in time too, because as soon as I backed out, everyone else was immediately surrounded by a group of Kirkwall guards with their polished armor and blades glinting in the bright sunlight.

"Unbelievable." Says the guard in charge looking at the leader who still has Hawke's blade pressed tightly against his throat. One wrong move by him would spell instant death. "You would attack a member of the guard along with a group of your countrymen in your frustration? Are you mad?"

"Maker spit on you and your foul city!"

"Charming fellow, this one." Hawke says glibly. "You should loosen up some. How about I put a smile on that charming face of yours?" Hawke applies a bit of pressure on the man's neck drawing the tiniest trickle of blood. The man's eyes widen in horror.

"Enough Ser!" The guard yells at Hawke before turning to address his own forces. "Guardsmen, take these would be rioters away. We'll deal with them later."

The guardsmen all nod haphazardly and approach the cornered mercenaries cautiously. They moved together but slightly out of synch, as if they had little idea as to what they were supposed to be doing in this situation. I don't know much about medieval fighting, but it's clear that a seasoned force, this was not.

Regardless, the battered refugee mercenaries backed away in fear briefly at the guards slow advance. It actually looked as if things would go smoothly for a moment, before one brave refugee unexpectedly yanks his sword out of his scabbard and charges the nearest guard with a bellow of rage and desperation. The clearly inexperienced guard was taken aback by the boldness of the attack and reacts far too slowly. Before he knew it, the guard had a new hole in the side of his neck that splashed impossibly red blood all over the stone floor of the Gallows.

I stood stock still in shock as the man's lifeless body slumped to the ground in a loud and heavy tangle of metal plates. Holy shit! He just murdered that guy in cold blood! Killing Darkspawn was one thing but seeing another human being slain by human hands? This was an unpleasant first for me.

Almost immediately, the rest of the mercenaries attacked the guards in a wave of frustrated fury and there was a battle on hand. The guards fought back but they looked to be in a little over their heads. Of our group, Hawke was the first one to jump into the fray, blades dancing in his hands like he was born to wield them. Carver and Aveline were next, wading into combat with ease and dispatching the rowdy refugees. But wait, didn't Hawke have a hostage?

Looking back to where he was before, I can see the mercenary leader slumped on the ground with a deep gash in his neck stretching from ear to ear, practically drooling blood underneath his prone form. Damn...Hawke did say he would make him smile...

Next to me, Bethany moves as if to join the fight but I grab her arm before she could get far. Reaching out with my other hand, I grab Leandra and quickly run us all back across the courtyard even further away from the battle.

"Anthony!" Bethany exclaims in surprise. "What are you doing?"

"I'm being smart." I reply shortly. "We have to let the hardbodies there take care of this one."

"Those are my brothers! I need to make sure they're alright and do my part in battle.

"Yeah, but here? In a place called the Gallows, right in front of Kirkwall's Circle of Magi in a Templar controlled fortress?

Bethany's mouth snaps shut at that.

"We have to trust your brothers and Aveline to come through this because there's nothing we can do. I understand that it's family but we can't risk it here." I say. "Besides, Carver has our weapons. I don't think we could get them from him right now, anyway."

I gesture over to the melee where Carver is happily slashing his way through the mercenaries with ease. On his back remains the, thankfully undamaged, bundled package containing our staves. Bethany follows my gesture and a air of understanding comes about her. She gets it.

"This is probably the best place for us to be right now." I say softly while gently grabbing Bethany's hand in mine. "I don't fancy being separated by the Circle. Especially not now."

Bethany brightens up a bit at that and she gives my hand a light squeeze. I smile and give one back.

"Yes, I've been meaning to talk to you two about that actually." Leandra's voice says, disrupting our little moment. Uh-oh...I turn slightly to see Leandra standing there with her arms crossed a small smile on her lips. This could be either really good or really bad.

"I overheard the conversation you had with my son on the ship, Anthony." Leandra says smugly. "I've also seen the way you two would look at each other back...in Lothering." Her voice breaks a bit at the end and she appears to look sad for a moment. Thankfully, it passes quickly and she starts eying me with an eerily familiar looking stare. Damn, maybe that look is an Amell trait instead of it being a Hawke one. "I just wanted to tell you that you have my blessing for whatever it is you want to pursue with my daughter."

Wait, what?

"What?" I exclaim, confusion likely written all over my face.

"Yes, I know. It must seem strange coming from Bethy's mother, but I'm serious. You two obviously care for each other and I know for a fact that you're a good man even if you do swear a little too much."

"Um, not that I don't appreciate the gesture but where did this come from?"

"I've been watching you two for quite some time and I could see that this was probably the best chance we would ever have to see Bethany with a husband."

"Bethany with a-WHAT?!"

"She's a mage, sweetie. It's not like there were many suitors lining up for her."

"Mother..."

"Well, dear, it's true. It broke my heart to think that I'd never see my daughter's wedding day. Then you came along, Anthony! You're kind, handsome and most importantly, you understand just what it is that we're burdened by. I don't think you would turn us or any children you two may have in to the Templars."

"Wh-Children?!"

"You don't want children, Anthony? I assumed that Bethany would've been with child by now or some time soon given all of your late nights together. Oh, to be young again."

"Mother!" Exclaims Bethany with a profound blush. "We haven't done anything of the sort yet!"

"Yet, is it?" Leandra says dryly. "Oh, so this is planned to happen soon then?" She chuckles a bit before turning her attention back to me. "But you never answered my question, Anthony. You don't want children?"

I'm still panicking over that c-word. "N-not now! Or anytime soon to be honest! Maybe when I'm older and less of a child myself, but now? Hell no!"

"You're anything but a child!" Leandra chortles indulgently. "Frankly, you're actually a rather imposing man. Maybe there's a little baby fat there but that just adds to your boyish charm."

"My what?" I ask incredulously. Boyish charm? I don't have a boyish charm, do I? Since when?

"I'd...have to agree with Anthony, Mother." Says Bethany with a hesitant look towards me. Her blush seems to have gotten deeper. "I'd love children but never while things are so uncertain. We haven't even gotten into Kirkwall yet and if that guard is telling the truth, we might not have a place to go if we can somehow scrounge up the coin to get in. It would be irresponsible to think of anything like that now." Great, now I'm blushing...she pretty much said that she would bear my children. Gladly. This is definitely uncharted territory for me.

"Well alright," says Leandra rather grudgingly. "But I stand by what I said before. I truly am happy for the both of you!"

"R-right. Yup." I'm still freaking out over the awkwardness of this conversation. "Oh look!" I exclaim pointing over to where we left the rest of the group. "The battle's over!"

True enough, all of the mercenaries have been slain. Their broken bodies littered the Gallows courtyard along with several unmoving guardsmen. All of that armor was glinting brightly in the sun and mingled with the copious amounts of blood dashed upon the ground, creating something of a macabre spectacle that sent my stomach rolling. I quickly put a mental clamp on the feeling as best I could, knowing that this is something that I'm going to have to get used to. I don't think this intense feeling of utter wrongness at seeing recently dead bodies will ever go away, though.

Hawke notices us from across the way and waves us all over as one of the surviving guards rushes up to their commanding officer, who also happened to survive.

"Captain! Are you alright?"

"I am, no thanks to you. Where is everyone? Go find them. I want this kept under control."

The Captain turns his attention towards Hawke as Leandra, Bethany and I make our way back over. I wince a bit as I accidentally step in a pool of sticky blood that leaves a light trail behind me. Nasty. "You have my thanks," he says with seemingly real gratitude. "Look, I can't get you into the city. It's not my decision but I'll find your uncle and bring him here.

"Thank you. That's all we can truly ask." Hawke replies just as gratefully as the Captain walks off into the city, leaving us to sit there and wait.

Great. I hate waiting.

-o0o-

A/N: Hiiiiii...long time, no hear from people! I don't think I'll make excuses this time since I've made them before. Sorry. At least I'm making up for it with a pretty long chapter. It actually was going to be about double the length of this one but I figured that if I kept going, I would never post anything again. So I cut it down and split the intro to Kirkwall into two parts. I have the vast majority of the next part already written, I just have to edit and tie up the chapter's end point. I'll try to make the next update faster but again, I make no promises. Thank you to everyone who's read, reviewed, favorited and what not since I've last updated. On a side note, guess who got a 3.8 GPA in his first college semester? Oh yeah, this guy! Leggo! (Black-people speak for 'let's go') lol. Now to do it again...yeah, easier said than done. 'Til next time!