Chapter 5

"Let's go to Ireland." Drew said.

Buffy looked over at him from her place across the couch. Her legs were stretched out and resting in his lap where he was gently massaging them. "What?"

"Let's go to Ireland." He repeated.

"Why?"

"Because it's beautiful there. And it's a good place to make a baby."

Buffy laughed. "You're serious."

"Yes. I am."

She sobered up. "You really want to go to Ireland to make a baby?"

"Why not? We haven't had a decent vacation since our honeymoon. What better way to celebrate your news than to go make good of it in a place we've both never been, but really want to go?"

Buffy smiled. "I like that idea." Drew smiled back at her, but it turned into a grimace and he pressed his fingertips to his temple. "Drew?"

He waved her off, smiling slightly. "I'm fine, baby. Brain freeze. I drank my lemonade too fast. So, should I start making those plans?"

Buffy, Angel, Willow, and Xander pulled up to the house Drew had rented them in their rental sedan. The house looked like something out of a fairytale. Like it was the Gingerbread house from Hansel and Gretel. They got their bags out and headed into the house. There was a note for each of them in each of their bedrooms.

Dear Willow,

Hey Big Red! Work your magic and create some memorable times on this trip, not only for your friends, but for yourself too. You're really one of the good ones. And don't worry, you'll never replace Tara, but you will find someone to light up your days and steam up your nights. She's out there somewhere. She just hasn't found the wily charms of Willow yet. I'm so glad Buffy has you as a friend. Take care of yourself and take care of my baby for me.

-Drew

Hey Pirate Pete!

Don't give Buffy too much of a hard time about her decisions. She's a big girl now. Even though you've had your quarrels, and even though I've wanted to kill you a couple of times, I'm still glad that you've stuck by Buffy and she's stuck by you through everything. Take care of yourself and don't be afraid to look outside of the demon world for love. There really are some good ones out there. I promise.

-Drew

Angel,

If you're reading this, thank you. I'm so, so, so grateful that you've stuck by Buffy. I told you she'd need you.

Please don't show her this letter. I want her to come to this revelation on her own. Ok?

I always knew she was waiting for you. It's why she refused to date me for a solid year. It's why it took another year before she would say yes to marrying me. And then another year before she actually did marry me. She was waiting. Don't get me wrong, I know that Buffy loved me beyond words. She proved it to me every single day. But in the end, you two belong together. You always have. I've told her that I was just a chapter in her life and that there would be others. I was talking about you, brother. You're the book.

Don't be afraid to show her that love doesn't always lead to heartache. She still believes it and I've only confirmed it by getting sick and leaving her. (Not that I meant to. I would've stayed with her forever if I could have.) She's the most vibrant woman I've ever met and she's lost a little bit of that over the last few months. She's been through hell and back. I'm hoping that this all goes according to plan and you're able to awaken that in her again.

And again, thanks for everything you've done and will do for her.

-Drew

PS Take her to a real Irish pub. The ones in New York are great and all, but they're just not the real thing. Show her what it's like to really absorb the Irish culture!

Hey baby,

How'd you like my surprise? Pretty spiffy, huh? I want you to go out to a good pub, I'm sure Angel knows a few, and savor the culture. Do some damage on your credit cards, too. (Make sure to get Cal a real Irish wool sweater, too. He's been dying for one since I told him about our plans for baby making. I swear, he came out and ever since, he's slowly started to become cliché! Clothes, hair, celebrities! Where does it end!? And you can tell him I said that. Ha!)

Enjoy your trip, no matter what. Kiss the Blarney Stone for me and when you're standing on the beautiful green hills, blow a kiss towards heaven. I'll catch it and throw one back at you.

And by the way, I love you.

Willow set her letter down on the patio table and wiped away the tears. She looked at Buffy and said, "I don't know how you do this."

Buffy ran her fingers over the dried ink on the stationary. "It's not always easy. With every one of these I get, the closer I get to the end of Drew."

"What do you mean?" Xander asked.

"Eventually these will stop and I won't have anything left of him but memories and pictures and the things I've kept of his. It just doesn't feel like it's enough to keep going."

"That's not why Drew is doing this, Buffy." Willow said.

"I know. He wants me to be able to move on and live again."

"And you're doing a great job!"

Buffy let out a puff of air through her closed lips. "Some days I can't find the strength to crawl out of bed." Everyone was silent and it stretched too long for anyone's comfort. "Geez, I didn't mean to bring the trip down in the first couple of hours."

Willow smiled brightly. "Hey tour guide Angel, what've you got planned for us?"

Angel shrugged. "I thought you guys might enjoy a full Irish breakfast. I know Xander , we can hit the shops. I thought the girls might like to see the town before we start seeing the historical things Galway has to offer."

Buffy walked out the back door in the early morning sun and looked at the landscape. Drew had picked a beautiful setting for their rental house. The backyard had a lot of trees that were starting to get thick in the early springtime. When you walked past the trees, it opened up onto rolling green hills that lasted for miles. There was a slight fog that had settled over the land and the sun hit the dew just right through the fog to give everything a heavenly glisten.

She made her way through the trees and sat on a low branch overlooking the hills. She smiled slightly as she looked up at the pink and blue sky. Drew was up there somewhere, waiting for her. Buffy kissed her hand and blew it up at the sky. A light, warm wind came back at her and caressed her cheeks. A small dew drop from a leaf above her fell on her cheek and the wind brushed it. It felt like someone had just kissed her cheek. Tears sprang to Buffy's eyes as she remembered Drew's words in his letter. He had found a way to kiss her back. The warm wind stayed with Buffy and she could almost feel Drew's arms around her. "I miss you." She whispered to the wind, knowing that her words would be carried to the right recipient.

"Hey," The wind died down as Angel walked up to her. "What are you doing out here?"

"Just…. Enjoying." Buffy said.

"You're crying."

Buffy shrugged. "Only a few more to add to the thousands." She turned her attention back to the hills. "I can't believe this is what you grew up with as a kid. It's so beautiful."

"You know, I don't remember ever taking the time to really savor the beauty that surrounded me. I was too busy being the baron's son and taking advantage of everything that offered me." When Buffy didn't say anything, he trudged on. "So, I thought we could go to Blarney today. Didn't Drew ask you to kiss the Blarney stone for him?"

Buffy smiled. "Yeah."

Buffy hauled her luggage into her apartment and looked around. The place was spotless. Gillian must've come by and cleaned. She did that when Drew and Buffy got too busy to clean up. For the first time since the funeral, Buffy was alone. Angel had found his own, fully furnished apartment a few blocks away. He'd announced it on their last night in Ireland. Buffy hadn't wanted him to go, but she wouldn't admit it. She was too proud for that. Besides, she'd managed without him before. She could do it now.

The trip to Ireland had been so relaxing. They'd gone to all the different historical places Angel could think of and he told them stories about when he'd been alive and it hadn't been a museum. They had each probably gained a good 10 to 15 pounds apiece from all the food they'd eaten and Buffy had probably overdrawn herself at the bank from all the money she'd spent on souvenirs and clothes. She'd managed to get Cal's Irish wool sweater in a pretty green that would bring out the green in his almost aqua eyes. She'd also picked up a couple for herself and for Dawn in other colors. Dawn would probably be calling soon since she knew Buffy was coming home that day.

After taking the luggage upstairs and spending twenty minutes trying to decide whether she really wanted to unpack right then and there, Buffy decided she didn't want to and headed back downstairs. She rummaged through the mail Gillian had brought up, hoping a letter from Drew would be there. There was nothing. She sighed and tossed the bills back on the side table in the hallway. She walked around the big apartment and listened to the sound of nothing. It was completely silent.

That's why when the doorbell rang, it was super loud and scared the hell out of her. Buffy went to the door and yanked it open, nearly screaming "what!" before she caught herself. There was a flower delivery man standing there with a bouquet of two dozen black magic roses. "Are you Buffy Summers?"

"Any singing involved?" Buffy asked wearily.

"Nope."

"Then yes, I'm Buffy."

"Sign here." He held out a clipboard with a pen attached. There was an X at the bottom of the page. Buffy signed and he handed her the flowers. "Enjoy."

"Thanks." Buffy shut the door and carried the bouquet into the dining room. There was a familiar envelope in the bouquet and Buffy's smile widened. She pulled the card out and opened it up.

Hey baby!

I know you had an awesome time in Ireland and you probably spent more than you should've. Am I right?

So here's the thing, I know it's been really hard facing the world these last few months, but it's really time to get back out there. I bet Edie misses you. She's probably got a whole three closets filled with the works just for you again.

So, go back to work. Get into the swing of things again. You never know, something big might come from it.

And by the way, I love you.

Buffy sighed. She knew this was coming. Hell, she'd been half way planning it herself on the way back from Ireland. She'd overspent there and now she was worried about paying the bills. Drew's estate hadn't been completely finalized yet (stupid court system), so she hadn't received all of her inheritance money he'd left her yet. There was no way she was asking Angel for money or any of her friends. She knew she could talk to her mother-in-law, but she wouldn't. She could do this on her own.

Buffy sighed again and headed over to the phone. Edie picked up her direct line after four rings. "Hey Edie."

"Buffy! Oh darling, how are you?"

"I'm…." She took a deep breath. "I'm ok. Hanging in there."

"Oh, we miss you here so much."

"Actually, that's why I'm calling."

"Please, please, please don't tell me you're quitting! You're the best assistant I've had."

"No! No. I'm not quitting. I was wondering if I still had a job."

"Of course you do! Sweetheart, you will always have a job here."

Buffy smiled. "Well, I was thinking that you can bump Rachel back down to part time on Monday and I'll come back to work."

"Are you sure you're ready, Buffy? I'll understand if you're not."

"No, no. I'm ready."

"Rachel!" Edie yelled. Buffy had to pull the phone away from her ear. "You're back down to part time Monday. And no buts. Buffy's coming back and I will not put her on part time. I absolutely need her here." Edie came back on the phone. "Everything's set for your grand comeback, my dear! And don't forget, you have to be stylish. If you need them, I've saved some things for you. You could come in this weekend and pick through them."

"Sure."

"Oh, Buffy. You don't know how much I've missed you. Rachel's a nice girl, but she's just not cut out for full time assisting yet. It's been a nightmare without you! And truthfully, I'm fairly certain that she's been taking flowers from my house when she delivers the mark up. I don't have proof, otherwise I would've fired her."

"I'll talk to her, Edie."

"Would you? Thank you so much! I cannot wait until you come back. Listen, darling, my other line is beeping. Rachel doesn't even tell me when she's transferring calls."

"I'll talk to her."

"Thank you, Buffy. I'll see you Monday." Edie hung up. She never said goodbye. It was just an Edie-ism.