Chapter 8

Drew smiled broadly. "Cal!" He hugged his best friend tightly.

"Drew. You're looking good." Caleb said, walking into the apartment and rubbing Drew's bald head. "You look like a white version of Michael Jordan."

Drew rubbed his head self consciously. "Gee, thanks."

"Anytime. So where's your gorgeous wife? She finally come to her senses and find someone better?"

"Ha, ha." Drew said sarcastically.

"So? Where is she?"

"She's upstairs asleep."

"She knew I was coming?"

"Yeah. She's…. It's been hard on her."

Cal nodded. He'd desperately tried to forget about his best friend's illness. It was a lot easier for him since he wasn't here. But poor Buffy. She was by his side night and day. She'd seen everything that Drew had gone through and she'd gone through her own personal hell with him. He didn't blame her for being asleep. She needed rest whenever she could allow herself to take it.

"So, how long?"

"Doctors say three months at best. One at the worst." Cal nodded and fought back the tears. He wouldn't cry in front of Drew. Drew was being brave and so was he. "I've got a favor to ask of you, Cal. It's kinda big."

"Anything, man. Name it."

Buffy woke up that Saturday to a dark and rainy day outside. She hadn't drank much, so she didn't have a hangover. She'd hoped that it would be a nice day outside so she could go out to the park with Angel like she'd been doing every Saturday. They were supposed to be going to the zoo today.

With a sigh, Buffy kicked off the covers and got out of bed. She went downstairs to the kitchen and jumped when she saw Cal sitting at the kitchen table. "God, Cal! I forgot you were here."

Cal chuckled. "Good morning, sunshine."

Buffy smiled. "Good morning. Your hair looks like it had its own mini tornado happen."

"It's this weather. Every time it rains, my hair goes berserk!"

"You haven't even brushed it yet."

"With my fingers I have."

"Cal, you're breaking the gay stereotype! You better be careful. The queens of New York will unite against you."

Cal flung his hand at her. "We're in Manhattan, they're in the Village. I think I'm safe until I get some hair product in my hair. Then they'll never know." He watched her pour herself a cup of coffee and sit down at the table before he said, "So, what are your plans for today?"

Buffy shrugged. "I was supposed to go to the zoo in the park today, but it's raining."

"Let's go to the aquarium. I haven't been there in ages!"

"We'll see."

"We'll see? What's that mean?"

"Well, Angel and I spend Saturdays together." Cal nodded slowly. "What?"

"You and Angel…. You guys go way back then?"

Buffy smiled slightly. "Yeah. I knew him back in Sunnydale."

"Yeah, the guys told me last night."

"What exactly did they tell you?"

"Oh, just that you two had the forbidden love of all time and you've nearly ended the world because of it."

"That's all in the past."

"And what lies in the future, then?"

"What are you getting at?"

"You two seem awfully cozy together."

Buffy shrugged. "We're friends."

"Just friends?"

"Yes, just friends. Cal, what is this about?"

"Nothing."

"No, something's bothering you."

Cal sighed. "I don't get how you can act so lovey dovey with Angel and your husband hasn't even been dead six months."

"I'm not acting lovey dovey with Angel!"

"What was that last night?"

"Last night is my business. What I do with Angel is my business. Cal, I love Drew. I always will. But…." She took a deep breath as tears started to fall. "He's gone. He's never coming back. We all have to accept that and move on with our lives. I'm trying to. Gods know I'm trying to. And it's hard as hell, but Angel's helping. And that's what Drew wanted."

"He didn't even like the guy."

"He didn't even know Angel."

"After everything Angel's put you through…."

"I don't get that. Why do people see it that way? I put him through a lot, too. And we went through a lot together. Angel is a very, very, very dear friend to me and no one is going to make me feel guilty for him being here."

"That was never my intention."

"Then what was? Cause, Cal, I'm a little confused here."

"Drew was my best friend, Buffy. He was like a brother to me. He was family when my family turned their backs on me. And I don't want to see someone stomping on his memory. Especially not the woman he was madly in love with."

Buffy was stunned. Cal thought she was stomping on the memory of her husband by being friends with Angel. "I…. I can't believe you just said that."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

"Yes, you did. You always mean what you say." Cal didn't say anything. "I am not stomping on the memory of my husband. I love Drew, but I can't stay married to a dead man for the rest of my life. I know you don't get it." She sighed and stood up. "As a Slayer, you learn that life is precious and it's short and you have to roll with the punches. These…. These are the hardest punches I've ever had to deal with and some days, I can't. Those days I can't even get out of bed it hurts my heart so bad. Those are the days I don't think I can make it another day without him. But then another day comes and I slowly realize that I can make it another day. I've got to try and find the happiness that Drew always wanted for me. And so do you, Cal." The doorbell rang and Buffy stared at Cal for a long moment. He was crying silently, but he wouldn't look at her. The doorbell rang again and Buffy went to get it. A UPS man was standing there holding a small box. "Yeah?"

"You Buffy Turner?" The man asked.

"Yes."

"Sign here." He handed her his little scanner and a stick-pen for it. She signed her name and he handed her the box.

Buffy closed the door and carried the box into the living room. She carefully cut the tape with a dagger she kept sitting in a decorative holster on the mantel over the fireplace and opened the box. In the box was a pile of samples of paint and stains and a stack of decorating magazines. On top of them was a letter from Drew.

Hey baby!

How's work going? Was I right about the "something big"? I have to be! You're destined for something big. Always have been.

Anyway, I know you're probably wondering where you're going to put everything that Edie's given you because I'm betting that it's taking up your entire closet AND the guest bedrooms. (I'm laughing at this sight right now because I can see it so vividly.)

So, my new task for you is to finally turn the big guest bedroom into your dream closet. Don't worry about the cost. Just make it to your liking. I've put all kinds of decorating stuff in this box just for you to play with and figure out what you want to do with your new closet. Can't wait to see how it turns out.

And by the way, I love you.

Buffy reached in and took out the magazines, brochures, and samples Drew had put in there. He had even included Xander's business card. She laughed and sat back, setting the box aside, to start going through everything and picking out what she liked. She completely forgot her argument with Caleb as she buried herself in Drew's task he'd set for her.

So, when Cal came in and sat across from her, she didn't even notice. "I'm sorry." He said. Buffy looked up, startled. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Buffy asked, a little confused. She really had been completely engrossed in planning.

"For the things I said in there. I know you can't be a grieving widow for the rest of your life. I do know that. But it's still hard to see you with someone else. He was so in love with you, you were all he could see. From the moment he met you, he knew you were going to be his wife for the rest of his life." Cal sighed. "So I'm not mad at you for being with Angel. I'm mad at Drew for asking you to be with him."

"Drew never asked me to be with him. He asked Angel to come and be here for me when I needed him. If it wasn't for Angel, I don't think I'd be quite this…. Normal."

Cal nodded and looked at the things Buffy had strewn around her on the couch. "What is all this?"

"Something Drew sent me."

"You got another letter?" Buffy nodded and handed the letter to Cal. He read over it and laughed. "He wanted to surprise you with this for your tenth wedding anniversary. He said he was saving up because you kept adding to your collection of clothes."

Buffy laughed too. "Every time I asked him about it, he always said neither of us had the time."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know." Buffy's eyes lit up. "Do you want to go move the furniture out and start planning?"

"Of course. Let's call Xander in. He's the man with the tools."

"You like him."

"I do not!"

"Drew told me he thought you did, but I didn't believe him. I do now."

Cal shrugged. "Doesn't matter. He's not gay."

"Even if he was, there would be too much testosterone in that relationship." Buffy grabbed Cal's hand. "Come on. Let's start moving."

Buffy, Dawn, and Willow sat in the hallway and watched the men work in Buffy's old guest bedroom. Xander had brought in two of his men and Angel was helping out as well. Work on the huge closet had been going on for two weeks now. Buffy was picking up everything she needed to know on her new job quickly and Edie was taking her out for the whole weekend to get her a makeover.

"Are you excited?" Dawn asked.

"I'm a little nervous." Buffy said. "I mean, I haven't really changed my look that dramatically since…."

"Spike." Willow and Dawn said.

"Yeah."

"Well, I think it'll be good for you." Dawn said. "You're starting a new life. Why not start it with a killer new look?"

"Oh, that's a good way of looking at it!" Willow said excitedly.

"I just hope she doesn't have my hair cut off." Buffy said, playing with her mid-back length hair. "Drew liked it long."

"Then tell her you'd like to keep it long." Dawn said. "But definitely give it a funky new look."

Buffy lifted an eyebrow at her sister. "Funky?"

"But hip."

Willow opened the plans for the new closet. "This is really neat, Buff."

"It's all remote controlled too!" Buffy said, beaming.

"You can barely work the Direct TV remote." Dawn said.

"I know, but that's for TV. This is for my clothing and my shoes and my jewelry…."

"I get that." Willow said.

"So I think I'll get it down pretty quick."

Dawn smiled and looked at Angel taking his shirt off. "Wow. He has a tan."

"Yup." Buffy said, watching Angel's muscles move under his lightly tanned skin.

"Looks good on him."

"Yup."

"Monkeys are flying by the window."

"Yup." Dawn started laughing. Buffy shook her head and looked at her younger sister. "What?"

"Buffy, it's ok if you want to be with Angel." Dawn looked at the tall, dark, ex-vampire. "Hell, if he wasn't Buffy-blinded, I'd want to be with him." She shook her head. "He loves you and you love him. Drew would've wanted you to be happy."

Buffy shook her head. "What would people think? Drew hasn't even been gone a whole year."

"Since when do you care what people think?" Willow asked.

"Huh? I don't, but…. After what Cal said, it would seem wrong."

"But it's what Drew wanted." Dawn said. "You said so yourself that you just knew he did."

"What if he didn't?"

"Then why would he ask Angel to deliver the first letter?"

"Because he knows what it's like to lose people you love."

"So do you, Buffy." Willow said. "I mean, maybe that was his intention, but then maybe his intention was for you to find love with Angel again."

Buffy shook her head. "It doesn't make sense."

"What doesn't?" Dawn asked.

"All of it. Even if Drew wanted me to fall in love with Angel again, I mean…. He knew Angel and I couldn't. He knew about the curse."

"You'll never know unless he comes out and says exactly what everything means." Willow said.

"Yeah. I guess so."

"Hey! I just had an idea!" Dawn said, bouncing slightly.

"What?" Willow and Buffy asked.

"Buffy, you should have a big reveal party! You know, for when you get your makeover."

"What is it with you and parties?" Buffy asked.

"Hey, I'm 24! What else am I supposed to do?"

"Finish college and get a good job?"

"Hey, I have a good job."

"What professional sister moocher?"

"No! I don't mooch off you."

"Yeah. And that's not my top you're wearing." Buffy said, poking her sister in the ribs.