Hello my dears. I would like to thank GoldenEyes-65 for the lovely review, and have to say, I completely agree with everything you said. But I have a plan, fear not. It's a long and convoluted plan, but it is a plan none the less. This story will not be a short one, just to warn you all now. I'm rubbish at writing short things. I get far too involved.
Anyway this chapter takes place at the end of season 1, episode 20 'Fame'. And will be the last chapter attached to a specific episode from the first season. I hope you like it, it's another long one.
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS: LA.
The rest of the case came together quickly throughout the night and on into the morning, cumulating with the bad guy they were chasing holding Kensi and about to kill her while he beat Aubrey's stepfather. Of course it was at that point the boys stormed the place, and after an intense firefight the bad guy was no more, having found himself in-between Callen and Deeks guns, the younger man driving down to lie on the ground while Callen fired the first shot at the man. He then pulled the trigger from his place on the ground and fired the second. Ending the man who had the audacity to point a gun at G.
After that things moved swiftly still, with the partners taking different roles in the clean-up and sorting out what had happened. Deeks joined Kensi at the hospital, leaving Sam and Callen to do, whatever it was they were going to do. It was there that he got a call that would change everything.
He had been happily lying on the top of Kensi's car while she was inside, dreaming up all the different things he and G could do that night, before they both got some well-earned sleep, when his phone rang. It was LAPD, and it made his mind shift in priorities quickly. He wanted to call Callen and let him know, but instead the first call he made was to Hetty. She was his boss after all, she should probably know before… whatever Callen was to him. He had just hung up and was contemplating his next call when his phone rang once more. Well would you look at that, you think of the guy and he calls.
"Hey G." He said down the line still wondering what he was going to say to the man on the other end of the phone. The man he didn't really want to leave, even if he had to.
"So I'm guessing I need to thank you for saving my life." Callen replied as way of a greeting as he made his way to the car. He didn't want to use Marty's name in case anyone would be able to overhear him.
"Just doing my job." Deeks responded in a blasé tone, though he smiled at what G hadn't said. The thank you was very definitely implied.
"Where are you?" Callen asked hoping he would say at home. Then he could drive straight over to see Marty. He really wanted to spend some time with him, and hey he was tired enough at the moment that he might even sleep over at his place. The emphasis being on actually sleeping, though he doubted it, but it was a possibility which he had to say was more than it had been before.
"With Fern. She wanted to stop off at the hospital." Deeks answered smirking at calling Kensi by the name he knew she hated. He would make her learn to love it, when he came back.
"You know if you keep calling her that don't come complaining to me when she breaks you." Callen replied happily, completely unaware of the trouble that was about to descend to ruin it.
"Ahh, you saying you wouldn't take care of me?" Deeks joked not being able to stop the smile on his lips at how normal and fun this conversation was. This was how he had always supposed couples spoke to each other. Not that he and G were one. G had made it very clear what their relationship was, but that didn't stop him from dreaming.
"I'm saying I'm not getting on the wrong side of Kensi. So when do you think you'll be home? I believe we have a rain check to cash in?" Callen asked now he was sitting in his car. He wanted to know if he should just drive straight over to Marty's or not. No that wasn't true, he knew he would be driving straight over, what he really wanted to know was how long he would have to wait for the other man to join him. It wasn't like he had to go home and drop off his stuff after all.
"Yeah about that…" Deeks replied taking a deep breath. This was it, where he told Callen what he was about to do. He just hoped he understood, hoped that maybe he would wait for him, though again he knew that was just a dream. I mean G could easily find someone to replace him in his life, even if he was knew deep down the reverse wasn't true.
"What is it?" Callen asked going straight to his defensive shut of mode. Shutting down all his thoughts and blocking out all the happiness this man had given him. If Marty didn't want to continue on with there no strings attached idea, then that was fine. He would deal and he would have no problems with that. They could continue to work together fine. I mean, that was the whole point of it being no strings attached after all. So no one got hurt and it didn't interfere with their work.
"There's this op I've been working on with LAPD, it came together an hour ago." Deeks replied with a sigh. He wished he could stay, but this case. It was important, and he knew Callen would understand that. Or at least he hoped he would.
At hearing Marty's words Callen's first thought was relief that he wasn't ending their thing. But then came the hit that he was going undercover with LAPD, where he couldn't watch over him and make sure he was safe. How did he know that whoever his handler was would do the right thing and watch his back? But he knew he couldn't voice any of those thoughts, so instead he went for a practical question. "When do you go undercover?"
"Tonight." Deeks responded guardedly. He knew what that meant, that he and G wouldn't get there time together. It seemed that rain check would never be redeemed. He had had a brief look at the happiness and pleasure to be had living in G's world, and now it was gone. But it was his choice, and this was what he did. He was a cop, and he put the bad guys away.
At his words Callen closed his eyes briefly before pulling himself together. This happened when you worked undercover. You got the call and you went. He couldn't hold it against the guy, even if it did seem he wouldn't be seeing him until he was done. Of course that raised another practical question in his mind. "How long for?"
"Don't know, the covers pretty deep." Deeks answered. He wished he could have one more night with G to say goodbye, but hey, maybe this wouldn't be that long. Maybe there was a chance that when he came back G would still be available to pick up where they were leaving off. Not that they were leaving off at much, two nights together eleven months apart. Hmm, there seemed to be a bit of a recurring theme here.
Callen heard what Marty wasn't saying, it could be months before they saw each other again, and he really didn't want it to be that long. He didn't want the other night to be the only memory he had of this man while he was gone. He wanted one more image, one more kiss, to hold onto during the nights he couldn't sleep. Wanted one more memory with Marty to keep him from going insane at the fact he wasn't there. He was so caught up in his thoughts, his wants, he didn't have a chance to freak out at what they were implying.
"Want to meet up before, then?" He asked not letting himself hope that Marty would say yes.
"Yeah, I really do. My place, say… half an hour?" Deeks replied quickly sitting up at the idea that he could have one more time with G before they said goodbye.
"I'll be there." Callen responded before hanging up and putting his key in the ignition. He had somewhere to be, and he needed to be there as fast as he could.
Deeks waved goodbye to Kensi outside his apartment building before slowly making his way inside. He couldn't see G's car anywhere, which was a good thing because it meant Kensi hadn't seen it either, but it was also bad, because it meant the man wasn't here. He didn't have long before he had to go under, and he really wanted to spend that time with G. but it seemed it wasn't meant to be. Moving to his door he unlocked and walked in. It was then he felt like he wasn't alone. Without thought he pulled his gun and pointed it into the room.
"LAPD, show yourself."
"Really? You going to shoot me Marty?" asked Callen walking out of the doorway he had been hiding in in case Marty didn't come home alone. He had already planned how he would escape the apartment if that happened.
"Did you just break into my home G?" Deeks asked in disbelief as he holstered his gun. He should have be surprised, but he really wasn't. He was too busy being happy to see him.
"I thought it was better than sitting outside your door." Callen replied with a shrug before he moved and pulled the younger man to him, smashing their lips together in a desperate kiss. This time was all they were going to have for god knows how long. He was going to make sure they made the most of it.
Deeks could do nothing but agree with G's intention, and as such moved them across his apartment and towards his bed. They had some business to conduct, fun to have, and some memories to make.
When Callen finally left Marty's apartment, leaving him to get ready for his undercover op, and his meeting with his new partner, he wondered where to go now. He thought briefly of going to crash on Sam's couch, but he didn't want the questions of where he had been since he had last seen him. He didn't want company, nor did he want to hear his partner's opinions of Deeks, in his current on edge mood he knew he might just hit him if he did and that would not end well. So instead he decided to head back to the office, he could get some paper work done, and when that finally exhausted him, maybe he would be able to get some sleep there. Though with the fear he had for Marty at the back of his mind, Callen thought it would be a good long while before he felt able to rest.
He got to the mission and made his way to his desk, revelling the peace of the place when no one was there. They had all gone home, to their families, to their lives, it was just him now. Just as he liked it. He sat down and pulled the files he needed to work on towards him, opening the first, though he found it hard for his mind to concentrate on the words. It kept sliding to as a certain blue eyed man, wondering what he was doing now, wondering whether he was in already or if he was still going over the plan with his handler. No he needed to put Marty out of his mind. He had work to do.
Nate came out of his office, his bag over his shoulder on his way home. He had thought he was the last here, he had seen everyone else leave after all. Therefore he was very surprised to see Callen back at his desk, pretending to do paperwork. Hetty had told him that Deeks had gone undercover for the LAPD, and he had therefore assumed that Callen would have gone with Sam. Having a friend around him now would no doubt help the worry he was bound to be feeling. But no, he was here alone. His default setting. Nate wasn't sure what to do. But what he did know was that he should offer the guy someone to talk to, even if he did shoot him down. It was his job, and he liked to think he was Callen's friend as well. So taking a deep breath he detoured from his route out of the building to stand in front of the team leader's desk.
"Callen, what are you doing back?" He asked gently, not sure how to start the conversation in any other way. After all Callen was not aware he knew about him and Deeks.
"I have some paperwork to finish." Callen replied not looking up, hoping Nate would leave him alone. He did not want to talk, he did not want company. He just wanted to be alone. Even if in doing so his thoughts crowded into his mind. He didn't want to be with anyone he might just say them to thank you very much.
"I heard Deeks was going undercover with the LAPD." Nate responded deciding to bite the bullet so to speak and mention the elephant in the room. That Deeks was gone and Callen was here alone.
"That's what I was told." Callen replied through gritted teeth. He did not want to talk about Marty with anyone. Especially with Nate who would read between the lines of any words he said. And definitely not right now when he felt so raw at him being gone. Yeah. Nate was definitely the last person he wanted to talk to right now.
"I'm sure he'll be fine." Nate said in a gentle tone, the one he used with the loved ones of service personnel who were deployed on black ops. Going somewhere they didn't know, doing things that they had no knowledge of.
"As am I." Callen responded succinctly with a nod as he tried to focus on the papers in front of him, hoping Nate would get the message and go. But it didn't seem to work. Nate was still standing there watching him. Seeing how his pen never moved to the work he was supposedly doing. Damn it. "Is there something else?" Callen asked finally lifting his head so Nate could see the hard look in his eyes. It wasn't one he hadn't seen in Callen for a long time. It was the look that he knew hid hurt at someone leaving him and Nate found his heart going out to the agent in front of him who was so much like a child on occasion.
"He will be back you know." He said simply. He had to believe that, and he needed Callen to believe that. Deeks wouldn't leave him, he would come back for him. Nate was sure that nothing short of death would keep the detective from the man in front of him. He had seen enough throughout the last two days, to see that. There was a deep affection between the two men, though he doubted they realised it.
"Maybe. He was a crappy liaison." Callen replied looking to the side of Nate, his eyes unconsciously going to the desk across from his, remembering Marty sitting there with a sunny smile on his face as they shared a look. No, he couldn't do this now, or ever. He was team leader, he needed to work. Marty and him, it wasn't like that. He would be fine. They would both be fine.
"Okay… just know, if you need to talk, I'm here." Nate responded when he saw the faraway look in Callen's eyes fade away. He wanted him to understand he knew, and he was ready to listen, whenever he needed it.
"Since when have you ever known me need to talk Nate?" Callen asked smiling up at him his mask firmly in place making Nate realise that there was nothing more he could do now.
"Well if you change your mind, you know where I am." Nate replied before turning and making his way towards the exit. And as he rounded the corner he heard a "thanks Nate," though he could have imagined it. But even if he hadn't he didn't break his stride as he left the building. Callen would come to him if and when he really needed it, and until then he would do whatever it was he did to cope. Mainly not sleeping and throwing himself into work. Nate knew there was nothing he could do to change the man, and he didn't really want to. His only hope was that nothing happened to detective Deeks while he was out of their care. Because he knew if it did, it would break Callen just a little bit more.
Callen dropped his pen after Nate had gone, not even pretending to do any work as he thought over the conversation he had just had. From it he worked out Nate knew. He knew about him and Marty, and he was offering to be there for him if he needed it. The problem was Callen didn't even understand what he was thinking and feeling, so how could he talk to someone else about it? No. He would accept this, it was nothing new, and he was used to being alone. He liked it that way, it was better that way. With that thought he turned his head to the couch in the corner and sighed. He needed to sleep. They would have more cases in the morning, and he needed to be at his best for his team.
And so he stood and made his way over to the leather couch, lying down on it and closing his eyes. And if a certain pair of bright blue ones appeared on his eyelids, so be it. He was used to conjuring them to keep the nightmares at bare. He could use them again now. Because even if there was a possibility that the nightmares had changed to the possibility of Marty getting hurt, his solution to get rid of them had not.