An analysis from afar

by Whavey

We had it all, we thought... It was shortly after my promotion when my feelings popped up. It was her that made me feel reborn, warm, safe and most of all, alive. In a period where homophobia was a thing, I wanted her more than I wanted anything. But was the team going to suffer too? (repost from my Wattpad story An Analysis From Afar, account name also Whavey)

9. Chapter 7

Lizzie

I looked down as Oliver pulled me in a hug. "And let me guess, you are scared?" He asks and I nod, leaning into him. "You know, even though League isn't known for the kindest community, they will be there to back you up." He says and I look up, greeted by a kind look in his eyes. "People may say it is an illness, but it is a gift, a gift to see the world from a different side that most people see it." He says and I bite my lip. He pulls me to the couch and sits me down, going in front of me. "No matter what, we'll be here. And it doesn't matter what the rest thinks. You are a great jungler, you are a great person in general and we don't want to lose you." He says and I smile, thinking back to when Erik found out I was lesbian, right before we got into the challenger series.

1 year earlier

I sit on my bed with the Playboy I "borrowed" from Aidan and looked through it when the door opened. I tried to hide it but Erik grabs it. "The playboy, seriously?" he asks and I shrug. "What?" I say and avoid his gaze and he looks at me. "We can play this dirty or tell me the truth. Are you gay?" He asks and I look up. "Who told you that?" I ask in shock and Erik shakes his head. "Darling, you were eyeing that girl in the club last week when you talked to a hot guy. No one but me noticed." He explains and I look at him. "That doesn't mean anything." I say and Erik holds up the Playboy. "That might not, but with this, it does." He says and I look at him. "Please don't tell anyone, they'll hate me." I whisper and he nods, giving me a hug. "Don't worry, just let's play this final game and then we'll be in a challenger series." He says and I nod and he holds up the Playboy. "I will give it back to Aidan and tell him I found it on the toilet." He says with a smile and I nod. "Thanks." I mutter as he leaves.

I look at Oliver who looks at me with a estimating look. "What's up Oliver?" I ask and he looks at me. "Well, we kind of were wondering if you wanted to replace Sabine for this game." He asks and I frown. "What do you mean?" I ask and he looks at me. "Joe and Aidan did research and as a team owner you are allowed to fill in any spots, only for player you need a special contract. Which means you can be a manager, but also a coach. Now that your sub is coming in, you can do the coaching for today." He explains and I nod. "I will give it a thought. At what time you need it?" I ask and he smiles. "At 9am, if possible." He says and I nod. "You know what, I'll just do it." I say and he smiles. "Thank you!" he says and I smile as I grab my stuff again and walk to the door. "I will be back around 8am I think, and then we'll pick up Alfie." I say and Oliver nods and I jog out the door, to the training park.

When I return with donuts for everyone, Oliver is still the only one up. "I'm back." I say as I put the donuts at the counter and walk to Oliver and drop on the couch next to him. He looks at me as I drink my bottle of water I had with me empty. "You look like shit." He says and I smile. "It rained and I forgot to take off my make up last night." I say and swipe away the mascara marks. Oliver smiles as Ezra walks downstairs. "Hey Liz." He say and I nod and the corner of my mouth pulls up. "Good morning." I say softly and he walks to the kitchen. "WHO BROUGHT THE DONUTS?" He yells enthusiastically and I laugh. "I did." I say and notice how the rest of the team runs down the stairs. "Donuuuuuuutszzzzzzz" Joe screams and I giggle and he turns to me. "Liz, I am sorry." He says and I shrug. "No worries, it was just the truth you spoke. I have our sub, Alfie coming in today. I will just replace Sabine today and after that I will help wherever I'm needed." I say as Ezra turns in. "Well we need you in Summoners Rift, jungle, preferably Shyvana or Evelynn, kicking Fnatic's asses back home." He says and I smile. "That will be all your tasks, but I am not really part of that." I say as I see the hopeful looks in their eyes disappear and defeat take its place. They all get breakfast and sit down at the breakfast table and eat their breakfasts.

Around 4pm everyone is packing their bags. Oliver and I agreed on letting Alfie stay in my room and me taking the couch, so I moved all my stuff to the living room. Alfie also took my area in the player pc corner and I moved all my stuff to the staff area. Oliver looks at me as I grab the notebook. "Where will you sleep after we got your replacement?" He asks and I smile, grabbing a permit and show it to him. "I want our subs to move in too. That is why I asked for a permit to build an extra area for the staff. It's approved." I explain and Oliver smiles. "That's great." He says and I nod, putting it back in the map and checking if I have everything. The guys are already at the door, nervous to go. I smile as I throw Aidan the lanyard and smile. He opens the frontdoor and soon everyone is walking towards the Arena.

Once backstage we sit and wait. We are the first to play and to be honest, I am pretty nervous. "I'll be right back." I say and leave the room, walking to the cantine to get something to drink. I give the G2 guys a small wave as I grab a can of Sprite and look up as a warm hand lays on my shoulder. "You look different without your jersey." Perkz says and I shrug. "Yeah I am not a jungler anymore, and our head coach is suspended until Monday, so FeedMe now is a coach." I say with a smile and he laughs. "I can't believe it that they were suck asses. Joey would kill to have Trick be as scary as you are." He says and I laugh. "Yeah well I just hope our sub will be okay." I say and Perkz turns to me. "Well, I think he'll be. Are you still coming to the club tonight? I believe Martin did invite you." He asks and I nod. "Yeah and prepare to see me drunk." I say and he laughs. "Yeah still don't believe them. Well I will see ya later, need to get back to the guys." He says and I smile. "Good luck Luka." I say and he nods. "You too Lizzie." He says and I walk back. "Calmed down?" I hear when I return and I nod. "So one last thing before we go on stage. I want us to win. We'll ban around Mid and Top, leaving Jungle all up to Alfie. Erik and Aidan, I really want to see you on Sivir and Lulu, but a high chance Rekkles will steal Sivir away. If Sivir is either taken or banned, go Vayne. I know it isn't the best, but a higher chance of becoming an ass late game." I say and he nods. I lay my hand in the midst of the group. Ezra and Joe lay their hands on mine first and soon we are all in. "For DMF." I say as they repeat. We walk backstage and we are scanned and I am handed the headset. We go on stage and I smile.

The series ended disastrous. Alfie wasn't confident enough and Lulu was banned, so game 1 failed so hard. Fnatic just killed it from minute 1, catching Ezra out of position and giving Febiven's LeBlanc a huge advantage. Aidan and Erik's Vayne and Soraka just didn't match enough. Game two was better. Joe was able to catch Gamsu with his GP barrels and Ezra was quite happy with his 2v1 kill on Ziggs. Alfie's Zac was great in camping botlane, and in our luck, when Alfie E'ed over the Baron pit wall, he found it low and Fnatic doing it, stealing it before flashing out and running away. The teamfight after Joe and Erik messed them up completely and we tie with Fnatic. I smile as I walk on stage and hug the guys. "We bring our stuff home and then we leave." I say and they look at me. "What?" Ezra asks and I smile. "Fnatic invited us to party at Astro, I thought we would need it." I say and Fabian walks behind me. "So you are coming?" He asks with his overly Dutch accent and I nod. "Yeah I am, we all are." I say and he nods. "I'll tell Martin." He says and I nod.

Once home, everyone quickly changed and soon we went clubbing. Freyja and Sabine are wearing short dresses where I am wearing a short black skater skirt and a one shoulder cropped top with ombre red to orange to yellow. We walk in and are greeted by beer. "First drink on G2." Martin screams over the music and I nod with a smile. The guys scatter and Freyja walks with Sabine to the table of Origin and G2. I smile as I look around. Martin puts his arm around me. "You look like you need something a little stronger than beer." He says and I nod. "I guess it just hurts that Alfie preformed that much better than I did." I say and Martin looks around me. "He didn't he is much more dependent on the early lead than you are." He says and I shrug. "It doesn't matter either way, I am returning to the staff." I say and he looks at me. "Come let's get you some Vodka." He says and I smile. "I like the way you think." I say and walk with him. Only upon seeing Eefje in a corner talking with Mitch, I get so jealous. "I might need more than one shot." I scream as Martin hands me a glass and he laughs, ordering an extra round in advance.

About an hour of 2 later, I am sitting on Martin's lap, giggling as he has to take a shot. We are playing Never Have I Ever and I have been taking shots almost every round. Martin smiles and puts his arm around my waist. "Never have I ever kissed a girl's boob." He says and I grab my glass and take a big gulp. He looks at me. "College party, we were drunk." I explain giggling and he smiles. "I think this one had enough to drink." He says as he sees my glass empty again. We get up and walk towards the exit. "Wanna sleep at our Gaming house?" He suddenly asks and we walk to the wardrobe. After that it is all a big blur.

But I wake up in the morning, in an unfamiliar bed, unfamiliar room, a sore lower part and most of all one memory.

Me moaning Eefje's freaking name