A/N: This chapter does contain some slightly T+/M/nsfw-ish stuff, which will become more prominent in following chapters. If that's not your thing, you are under no obligation to keep reading, and thank you for enjoying the story thus far. If it is... ;) says it all.
CHAPTER EIGHT: The Brink
In the next few minutes, the only thing that kept Allura from spiralling was the knowledge, that above all else, Shiro needed her. He needed her to keep her cool and figure things out, just like how she would depend on him if the situations were switched. She only hoped that as she, Hunk and Pidge raced towards the Sinking Sands, that Lance and Keith were working fast enough, clawing away at enough sand to leave some kind of dent, some kind of lifeline, for her to anchor herself to for them to find Shiro before it was too late.
"Princess," Keith cried over the link, "the sand is moving too fast―"
"Then move faster," she barked, desperation bordering on something heavy and tight that she didn't want to think about. If they didn't get to him in time―if she lost him...
Suddenly it felt like she was the one drowning instead.
The Green and Yellow Lions couldn't touch down on the sand dunes fast enough, Pidge scrambling to make the last minute modifications to theirs and Hunk's scanning device. Allura didn't wait for the Lions to land, hauling herself out of the mouth of the Lion, and using all her strength to hang onto the edge.
"Hunk, help Keith and Lance!" she ordered, and the Yellow Lion bounded into action, digging away at the shifting sand with its mighty paws. "Pidge, now―"
The green paladin tossed out a harness, and Allura looped it over her shoulders, her legs, over her sealed helmet, and then buckled the front over her chest. She only gave it a single tug, checking that it was secure with plenty of length, and then jumped out of the Lion's mouth, diving into the thin, narrow strip the Blue, Red and Yellow Lions had managed to reveal.
She couldn't feel the wind rushing past her outstretched, pointed limbs, as she plunged into the sand. It was scorching hot even through her suit, pressing down on all sides, and she barely managed to knock her cheek against a button on the inner side of her helmet. Sand stuck to her helmet's shield, but a holographic heat sensory image popped up instead, rooting out grainy bits of blue for something alive and breathing.
She saw a sudden flash of something red as the sand's pressure grew more intense, and slogged towards it through the sand, praying to every deity she knew that the harness would hold. She activated her commlink, hoping his would still be connected.
"Shiro? Shiro, can you hear me? Shiro!"
A sliver of black and white seeped through the sand, and something mostly red attached to a pulsing purple flashed across her screen.
"Shiro―"
He was unresponsive, even when she finally managed to latch onto his arm, the Galra metal cold and hot all at once even underneath the palm of her glove. She yanked him forward, grateful more than ever for her natural strength, willing herself to grow larger to get a better hold on him. Sand had made little dunes on either side of his head, and it was hard to tell if he was breathing he was so still, but there was a flush to his cheeks all the same, so she held onto hope as tightly as she held onto him. Her powerful arms made wide strokes through the heavy sand, one arm wrapped around his chest and pinning him to her side while the other tried to angle upwards, her legs kicking furiously towards the surface.
She gave a quick but firm tug on the harness rope, shouting, "Pidge!" over her commlink and hoping the Green Paladin could still hear her. The pressure compressed, sand beginning to seep in under her helmet, as she rocketed towards the surface, pulled upwards by the harness.
The sand stopped shifting completely when they broke into the dry sunlight, dangling on the harness from the Green Lion's mouth. Hunk, Keith and Lance immediately stopped in their work, Keith swooping underneath to catch them in his Lion's mouth when Allura dismantled herself from the harness and dropped, carefully setting Shiro down in the Red Lion's maw first.
Allura practically crawled to his side, hauling him into her lap, fingers sliding uselessly against his helmet. None of the glass had cracked, thankfully, but she still needed to get it off to check his breathing and get rid of at least some of the sand. She went to wrench it off, her heart racing, when it barely budged.
"How is he?" Keith's voice crackled over the commlink from the cockpit.
Allura started undoing the fastenings of the helmet with quick flicks of her fingers, grappling as she gave it a series of turns, slowly loosening it from the rest of his armour. "Just fly back to the Castle ship," she ordered, her voice pitching high and shaky with panic. The trembling of her hands didn't help, as she pulled at the helmet again, and it finally came loose with a pop. Sand spilled onto her knees and metal floor, rest of it covering his neck in the a thick layer. She scraped away at it with her hands, careful not to scratch him, before her fingers searched for a pulse. Where did they have their pulse if they didn't have cheek markings?!
There was no time to waste in asking, and she pressed her ear against Shiro's mouth. The faintest brush of warmth tickled the pointed tip. Barely breathing, but still―he was breathing, laboured and shallow. Was there sand in his lungs? Would the crypods even be able to undo something like this? They were better for physical wounds and gashes, not drowning symptoms―and certain things had malfunctioned in the pods over the last 10,000 years, anyway. That is if he stayed breathing long enough to survive the trip back to the Castle in the first place.
She made sure he wouldn't slip or slide as the Lion kicked into gear, and stumbled as the mecha flew over the sandy dunes, steadying herself with her immense strength. She ripped an emergency panel away from a nearby wall, grabbing out the first aid kit and a medical mask that was supposed to help with breathing. The mask was smeared with dust, but hopefully the yellow tubes attached to it would help, as she raced back to Shiro and fastened it over his face, flicking on the switch.
Nothing happened.
"Quiznak!" She flicked the switch furiously, on and off, but the results remained the same. The quiznakking thing was broken after 10,000 years, and she felt like unleashing all the Earthling swears she had learned from Pidge and Lance combined. She took the mask off, not wanting it to hinder his ability to breathe if it wasn't going to help. There was only one thing to do now.
She screwed up her face, filled with her lungs with as much air as possible, and pressed her open mouth against Shiro's, trying to give him some kind of air. She pulled away when there didn't seem to be any difference, and tried again. And again, until finally Shiro let out a hoarse, cough against her mouth.
She pulled away with a start as sand pooled in his mouth and he spat it out.
"Oh thank the stars," she gasped, resisting the urge to throw her arms around him as his eyes slowly opened, full of hazy stardust.
Shiro weakly touched his neck, scratching away at the sand. "Allura, what...?" he managed out, his voice hoarse and feeble. He shifted his weight into a kind of sitting position, resting his weight on his human arm, but that buckled and she pulled him closer to steady him. His breathing was still shallow but at least his eyes were open and his lungs were working.
"Just breathe, my paladin," she told him gently, letting him lean into her. "You're alright now. Focus on your breathing, that's all."
His brow furrowed, still dazed. "But I... fell into the sand?"
"Yes, Shiro, but—"
He looked at her and his eyes became more focused. Brighter. "Least I...told you," he mumbled, trailing off. Not everything that computed yet, clearly.
Allura wondered if they were thinking of the same thing: Goodbye princess. Love you. A slip of the tongue, surely? But then, in the aftermath of a near death experience, and he was thinking about it, then maybe...? She shook her head. It didn't matter now. All that mattered was him.
"Princess?" Lance's voice crackled over her comm. "How's Shiro?"
"Breathing," she answered, the relief now truly settling in.
"The crypods can give him a checkup can't they?" asked Hunk worriedly.
"They should be able to, after those new software updates we installed," Pidge reminded him.
"Someone radio Coran. Tell him to get the Castle ready," ordered Allura, turning her attention back to Shiro as she flicked off her commlink. Hesitantly, not wanting to hurt him, she cradled his face in her hands, turning his eyes towards her. "Shiro, my paladin, are you alright?"
"Fine, p-princess," he managed. A crease formed in his brow, and she followed his gaze as it travelled over her hairline. He reached up with his Galra arm and brushed grainy bits of sand out of her silvery locks. "You fell in the sand, too?"
She smiled faintly, smoothing back his white tuft of hair from his forehead. "It seems Alteans fall the same way humans do."
With a quiet groan, Shiro pushed himself further into a sitting position. He winced, and she placed a hand on his chest to still him, spreading out her fingers when she could feel his heart thumping underneath her palm. "You don't fall," he corrected her, still a little dazed. "You burn."
"Burn?"
"You're a star."
Her throat went dry. "Stars fall," she said softly, but he shook his head.
"And then they die. They burn out. If something happened to you, if you d―if anything happened to you because you were trying to save me, I wouldn't... I can't let that happen. You shouldn't have gone after me. You could have drowned too."
Her eyes widened, a deep, watery blue, and then she forced them shut, wondering if he knew she saw the stars in his. She leaned forward, exhaling slowly as her forehead rested against his. "I think I already have," she murmured, barely audible even to herself, knowing there was no way he had heard it. Her breath stuttered in her chest when he shifted, raising his head, and pressed his lips, faintly, softly, to her brow.
She almost didn't notice when the Lion finally came to a halt in front of the steps of the Castle Ship, Coran standing by the stairs and anxiously twisting his mustache.
Allura hefted Shiro's arm along her shoulders, supporting his weight with ease as she helped him out of the Lion. By the time their feet touched the sand, the other Lions had landed and their paladins disembarking.
"Princess," Coran said, rushing to her side. "Shiro, quiznak, are you alright?"
"Never better," Shiro replied with a wry smile, but his voice dissolved into a coughing fit.
"He needs water, and nunvil, stat!" the advisor decided, moving speedily ahead of them as Allura and Shiro followed him into the castle.
"I might need a pass on the nunvil," Shiro muttered to her, and Allura bit back a smile. How could he joke when he had nearly died? That, and nunvil had never been one of her favourite Altean beverages to begin with, more popular among her father and Coran's generation, the older crowd.
Instead, she put on the calmest, most orderly voice she could muster, and said, "Coran, can we help Shiro into a crypod? It should be able to fix any problems caused by the drowning experience, correct?"
"I would suggest letting a crypod scan him for any signs of lasting injury, and putting him in a pod if worrisome symptoms were shown, but I would prefer not to let sand get in the system," Coran said, his expression faltering. "You know how sand always messes with its circuits, and after 10,000 years, we don't want to take any chances, do we?"
"We also do not want to take any chances on Shiro's life," said Allura fiercely, and Coran shrank back slightly.
Shiro grabbed her hand. "It's fine, princess. Let's just see if anything needs to be fixed before doing anything unnecessary."
Her expression softened, and then turned thoughtful. "Like the earthling saying that Hunk uses, if it isn't broke, do not fix it?"
His eyes crinkled. "Close enough."
Allura frowned, but nodded. "Alright, Coran, run the tests first."
The scan was completed by the time the other paladins entered the main deck of the castle, standing by her side. Coran pulled up a few holograms and her eyes quickly read the results, the tight vice worry had over her heart significantly loosening.
"Says here that his lungs ingested very minimal sand, but due to the particle differences... it's not as harmful to humans as it would be to native aliens on this planet," Pidge read, pushing their glasses up their nose. "His vitals are all working properly as well. Honestly the only thing that may be an issue is removing the sand from his skin quickly and efficiently. It won't fall off the way regular sand would―part of the sinking, sticky quality―but that can be easily solved with water."
"Well then, it seems the obvious route is for Shiro to go back to his room and have a bath," Coran said, his mustache twitching upwards. "Princess, it seems reasonable that you should accompany Shiro, seeing as you are parading as husband and wife."
If there was a knowing lilt to his voice, Allura couldn't detect it, even as her eyes narrowed. "Very well, Coran. Paladins, you are dismissed. If King Ilvaar or any of the other servants ask what we have found, say we are trying to figure out a way to use the Sinking Sands as an extra fortification. If they ask where Shiro and I are, say we are..."
"Doing married couple things?" said Lance, batting his eyelashes innocently.
Allura shot him a sharp look and ignored the heat rising to her cheeks. "Say that Shiro has fallen a tad ill," she said sternly.
Shiro didn't need her support this time, as they ambled out of the Castleship and back towards the Sjarkan palace. The few servants milling around were busy with their own tasks, and the fierce look in Allura's eyes must have warned them to stay away from the woman on a warpath.
Their room was stuffy when they entered, small piles of sand forming on their outside balcony, and she cracked the doors open to let in some fresh air. Shiro sat on the bed, his shoulders hunched over, as she went to the bathroom. It was a white, circular space made of smooth marble with golden faucets and knobs, and soft towels piled on top of a black shelf bolted to the wall.
She went over to the tub, and turned the knob rimmed in yellow, putting her fingers under the running water to check that it was coming out at just the right temperature: hot, soothing, but not scalding. She let it full the tub a reasonable amount, before heading back out into the room to check on Shiro.
He was in the same position she'd left him in, his head in his hands. She reached out, planting one hand between his shoulder blades, and the other gently combing back his tuft of white hair from his furrowed brow. "My paladin," she began softly, trying to coax him out of his closed off shell, "you really must heed Coran's warning. If the sand is not removed, it could cause a rash. And once it's taken care of, you can rest, safe and sound."
He mumbled something slurred that she couldn't make out. She blinked. "Shiro?"
"I can't get in the water," he repeated, loudly and more clearly this time. He shied away from her touch, and she realized he was ashamed. "I almost drowned and I know the sand is different than the water, but..."
"Would it help if someone stayed with you?" she asked, trying to meet his eyes.
"Maybe, I..."
"Should I go get one of the boys? Keith perhaps, or―"
"No." Shiro swallowed hard, his cheeks visibly pink even underneath the small bits of sand still stuck to his face. "I... would you stay with me, princess?"
The brokenness of his expression, the shame and vulnerability, his starry eyes turning into black holes, made something in her fracture. Allura leaned over and kissed his forehead, as though her lips alone could smooth out the worried creases in his brow. "Of course I will, Takashi," she answered serenely, content to help him in whatever way she could.
It was only when they were both standing in front of the tub that she realized exactly what she had gotten herself into. It was too late to back out now though, especially since Shiro seemed to be relaxing, or at least as much as he could, as their predicament was starting to set in for him too.
His jaw tightened. "So, I'll um―" he gestured vaguely towards the tub, and she hurriedly nodded, her hair coming loose from her bun and falling in front of her face as a sort of shield. "And then―?"
"My suit's undergarments will dry quickly," she said meekly. "We'll do it at the same time? No―"
His flush deepened. "No, of course not. I'll just―"
They both turned around at the same time, and Allura tried to control her breathing and the tightness growing in her chest, as she shimmied out of her under armour. The undergarments were similar to the paladin's, practically skin tight and a slightly off white colour. She waited until she heard the soft sound of Shiro's clothes hitting the tiles, relieved that at the very least he was able to undress himself―she violently snuffed out the spark of disappointment that rose up within her―and then heard the water change as he settled in the tub.
Thankfully, the water rose up to his mid-torso, and she kept her eyes on his face as she climbed in, making sure to keep her distance. At least the water was the right temperature.
She distracted herself by reaching for a rag and lathering some soap it, before finally looking at Shiro, and... Oh.
His shoulders were still broad, smooth and muscular as the rest of him. She bit her lip as her eyes travelled down the hard planes of his chest, sand clinging to the crevices of his muscles and his collarbone, and her gaze quickly snapped back up to his face. She knew her cheeks were burning.
"I―I apologize, Shiro," she mumbled. "For..." Ogling him?
"Don't," he said quickly. His cheeks were pink too but his eyes were steady as they rested on her face. "It's... you've seen it before, most of it, I just... the scars are worse on my back. I didn't want anybody else to see."
Their eyes met, and Allura slowly reached out, wiping the soapy rag across his neck, rubbing away the sand. "But you want me to see?" she murmured, trying to connect his pieces, trying to form a constellation of the stars of his thoughts. Sometimes it was so easy to read him, but other times it felt like she was drowning in all the things she didn't know about him. Things she wanted to know about him.
Shiro puffed out a quiet chuckle. "Not particularly, but... if anyone has to, I―I trust you."
Allura shifted forward, onto her knees so she could have a better angle, as the dragged the rag from one shoulder to the other, carefully scrubbing. She wrung out the rag and caught the dry sand in her palm, wiping it along the bare white side of the tub. It stuck like glue.
She dropped the rag into the water again, and slowly washed his chest, rubbing circles into his skin. She kept her eyes on his neck. "You terrify me, Takashi," she whispered.
She felt him shift closer, so that he was kneeling inside, the water pooling around her waist. His nose brushed her brow. "I'm sorry if I scared you today," he said, just as softly.
She shook her head a little, a lock of silvery falling over her cheek. "Not today," she corrected him, and then herself. "Well, you did, but―in general."
She watched his hand twitch, as though he wanted to reach up and tuck her hair behind her ear, but refrained. His voice was heavy with something she couldn't detect. "You're...scared of me, princess?" She could picture the tightening of his Galra arm perfectly.
"No," Allura burst, grasping at his upper arm in an attempt to reassure him. She forced her gaze upwards, her throat dry when their eyes met. They were on the brink of something, she could tell, but she had no idea what lay beyond it. If they took the fall, and just the fact that it was suddenly a possibility made her heart pound fiercely in her chest. "No, it is not you, Shiro, I... I am terrified of―of what I would do for you."
Shiro took her hand, lacing their fingers together. "And you think I'm not?"
"Then perhaps we've grown too close," she murmured, not pulling away. "If we would tear apart galaxies for one another. If we would put Voltron at risk. We have our duties to the universe."
Perhaps she was silly to think there was any time or space for her feelings in a time like this. Maybe it was better to leave things unsaid. Still, she was transfixed, rooted to the spot as he lifted her hand and kissed the back of her fingers.
"We do have our duties," he agreed, almost sadly.
He guided her hand around to his shoulder blades, and rested it there, her palm flat against his back. Against the long, risen lines of marred flesh. Allura finished wiping the sand away from his neck, the water now almost lukewarm. He gave her a tiny nod as she leaned forward, waiting for his permission, and leaned into him, their chests pressed together as she rested her chin on his shoulder.
His cheek pressed into hers. "But we also have each other," he murmured, and she relaxed into him. His bare chest was warm against her thinly clothed one, her undergarments now soaked through from the water droplets running down his skin.
Allura slowly rubbed the rag along his back, wiping away sand and dunking the cloth in the water again, repeating the motions. Once she was content that all the sand was gone, their breathing aligned perfectly, she let her fingers trace the overlapping scars etched into his skin.
"I would rather get captured by the Galra again, then let anything happen to you," Shiro said softly.
Allura curled into him, pulling him closer till their hips were pressed flush together. "I've lost so much already. I wouldn't be able to stand it, if―when I thought I lost you earlier, for a moment, I―I couldn't breathe."
"Now you know how I felt, when I had to watch you glide away from me. When you were in prison, I was losing my mind."
"Like I said. We're dangerous to one another." She held him closer, trailing her fingers lightly down his back and then over his ribcage, craning her neck downwards, and her forehead pressed into the crook of his neck as her eyes closed. "You're also my best reason to get out of bed, some mornings."
He wrapped his arms loosely around her, his palms flat and warm against the small of her back, burning through the thin damp layer. "I know what you mean." He pressed his body more firmly against hers, and she gasped, glancing down when she felt something hard pressing against her thigh. He followed her gaze and nearly let go, his face flaming. "That's―"
"It's alright," she murmured. "It seems that Altean and human biology truly aren't that different after all."
Shiro leaned forward, and then straightened up as if remembering something, or himself. His lips grazed her forehead before he unceremoniously let go, slowly pulling away from her. "I think you got all of it." He was oddly stiff. "I―I'm just going to go dry off."
Allura's hands fell to her lap as Shiro rose from the tub, and she averted her gaze as he took a towel and began drying himself off. She waited until he was out of the bathroom to do the same, stripping out of her wet undergarments and wrapping a towel around her.
He was lying in their bed with his back turned to her, his shirt sleep draped across a chair but not his sleep pants, so she could only assume he was wearing them as she pulled on her own sleep clothes, hanging up her towel. The white fabric was soft against her skin, as she went to draw the blinds over their windowed balcony, the sun on the verge of setting, before climbing into bed beside him.
She remained in a sitting position, hesitantly laying a hand between his shoulder blades. "Takashi?" He couldn't have fallen asleep that fast, could he?
He hummed, but didn't turn around to face her. "Hm?"
"I..." she swallowed hard. "You are my best friend, and I am very grateful that you are alright."
She could see his jaw loosen, his expression soften, ever so slightly. His voice was warm, but tired. "Thank you, princess."
She smiled sadly, wishing she could tell what he was thinking, as Allura leaned over and pressed a soft, quick kiss to his cheek, her lips touching the edge of his scar. "Sleep well, my paladin."
He tried.