nothing on you
Callista Miralni
Disclaimer: nothing! XD
.:loop00.2_1:.
.:olive garden:.
[name:?]
SASUKE UCHIHA
[age:?]
19
[date of birth:?]
07.23.1991
[are you a full-time student:?]
YES
[at which university/college/vocational school:?]
CANTON COMMUNITY COLLEGE
…
[please fill out this diversity survey]
[nationality:?]
ASIAN—PACIFIC ISLANDER
In the back room, Han and Sasuke were taking off their aprons, dressing out into more casual clothes. A slip of white fluttered out of Sasuke's apron pocket and Han dove forward to catch it.
"You saved her number?" Han asked incredulously.
"What's it to you?" Sasuke surveyed him coolly.
"You do like her!"
"No, I don't." Sasuke insisted, reaching out to take the slip back. "Can I have that back?"
"Why do you need it?" Han smirked, holding it out of reach.
"So I can prove to my brother I'm not gay."
"Dude, a piece of paper isn't going to prove that. You gotta call her, text her, and ask her out!"
"Give it back Han."
"In fact," Han continued with his tirade. "I'll save your manliness and text her for you!"
"What the-"
With one leap, Han was by Sasuke's locker and picked up his cell phone form the neat pile at the bottom.
"Han, knock it off."
"You'll thank me later." Han tossed the flip phone to its owner after he was done with it.
"What the hell did you just do?"
"What ever other guy would've done if a hot girl gave him her number."
"You ass—!" Sasuke went through his sent items and saw that Han had indeed texted Sakura Haruno. "What the fuck is your problem?"
Ring!
YOU HAVE A NEW MESSAGE.
The number 7346724468 sent the message:
Um... who is this?
"Oh good, she answered back." Han snatched the phone out of Sasuke's hand to compose a reply.
"Quit texting on my phone!" Sasuke took it back.
MESSAGE SENT!
YOU HAVE A NEW MESSAGE.
Sasuke Uchiha? Where have we met?
Exhaling sharply, Sasuke answered and shoved his phone deep into his pocket.
"What'd she say? Actually, what'd you say?"
"She asked where we had met before."
"And...?"
"I told her an idiot co-worker stole my phone and used it to text her."
"Sasuke!"
His phone range again. Han dove for his pocket but Sasuke was quicker. Opening the screen, he read:
Where do you work?
"Tell her!"
"No way."
"Then I'll tell her!" Reaching for his own phone, Han keyed in a quick message.
"You remember her number?"
"It's a gift."
"More like a curse."
Sasuke's phone rang again but it wasn't a text message this time.
734-672-4468 is calling. Accept?
"She's calling!" Han skipped around the small room. "She's calling!"
Sighing, Sasuke pressed ACCEPT CALL.
"Hello?"
For a few moments, all Sasuke heard was a shuffling sound, like the back pocket of someone's pants. Then-
"Goddammit Ino—give me back my phone!" A familiar voice yelled through the speaker. "I don't want your hookups calling me!"
"But this isn't for me; it's for you!"
"Ino-pig!"
Sasuke heard the two fight for a while until Sakura's triumphant cry filtered through the line.
"Take that Pig!"
A pause.
"Hello?" Sasuke repeated.
Silence.
"Ino, who the hell did you call and how long have they been listening?"
Ino's faint reply made Sasuke smirk.
"The Anime Paper Boy."
…
"I'm going to kill you!"
[name:?]
SAKURA HARUNO
[age:?]
20
[date of birth:?]
03.28.1991
[are you a full-time student:?]
YES
[at which university/college/vocational school:?]
UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN—ANN ARBOR
…
[please fill out this diversity survey]
[nationality:?]
ASIAN—PACIFIC ISLANDER
The Haruno twins were something special.
For a set of fraternal twins, they looked identical. That's when Sakura started experimenting with different ways to set them apart.
First, it was the style and length of her hair.
Then it was the light brush of make-up on her porcelain skin.
The summer before their high school freshman year, Sakura and their cousin Ino Yamanaka went to the optometrist for their annual appointment and came back with order slips for green and blue contacts respectively.
Even their personal preferences started to deviate. Where Sai was an artist and an avid soccer fan/player, Sakura was a musician and a diehard anime fan. Sai would fondly scold his older sister for clinging onto their childhood but sometimes when Sakura woke up early on Saturday, she could hear the muted strains of the opening theme to Gundam 00 floating through the wall between their rooms.
Despite these differences, the Haruno twins were one half of the other.
There was nothing they could hide.
"You look upset."
"I don't know what you're talking about." His sister grumbled into her pillow.
Sai Haruno kicked the bed frame.
"Sai!" Sakura whined. "Leave me alone to wallow in my mortification."
"No way." Her brother said easily, pulling on her ankle.. "We're about to go out and eat dinner. It's our birthday, remember?"
"How could I forget."
"Don't be like that." Sai chastised. "C'mon Sakura, move your ass."
"I can't go out in public anymore."
Sai exhaled sharply, running his fingers through his dark hair. His sister could be so infuriating at times.
"HEY! PUT ME DOWN SAI!" She shrieked, pounding her fists against his back.
"There's no way in hell I'm going to let you be the reason why I don't eat Italian food on my birthday. Besides, you locked me in a closet earlier." Sai muttered darkly.
"SAI!"
"Tadaima."
Slipping off his sneakers, Sasuke Uchiha made his way through the dimly lit hallway and into the kitchen.
"Okaeri, Sasuke-chan!" His mother, the ever-exuberant Mikoto Uchiha, swooped in for a hug. "How was work?"
"The same." Sasuke answered, dropping his skateboard to the ground.
The sound of a newspaper folding caught his attention. His older brother Itachi smirked at him from the table.
"Did you get a girl's number today ototou? It's okay if you didn't—Kaa-san's still has some money stashed away for you when Tou-san kicks you out."
"Itachi-kun." The Uchiha matron frowned. "Don't antagonize your brother like tha-"
"Actually," Sasuke interrupted. "I did."
For once, Itachi actually looked surprised. His mother squealed in delight, clapping her hands and bouncing on her feet before smothering Sasuke in another tight embrace.
"Kaa-san... ca..n't... breathe..."
"We must celebrate! When your father gets home, we're going out to eat dinner! How does Italian sound Sasuke? I know you liked eating at that one restaurant we went to for Itachi's twenty-first birthday." Mikoto babbled. "Oh I can't believe it... Sasu-chan's in love with a girl!"
Sasuke groaned, regretting telling his brother and his mother about the day's highlight.
"That's not what it's like at all!" He protested to his mother's last statement.
Hearing Itachi snicker, he rounded on his brother instead. "What's with you?" Sasuke snarled.
"Oh nothing." His brother said innocently. "Now that fund is going to be used for your wedding."
"Itachi!"
Sakura poked at her pasta with her fork.
"If you're not going to eat your mushroom ravioli, then I will." Sai leaned across the table with his fork in hand.
She swatted his fork away with her own. "Hands off, little brother." Smiling, Sakura popped another carefully cut piece of her meal into her mouth.
Satsuki Haruno, their mother, cleared her throat. "So how was lunch with the girls? It's so nice that your cousins flew in during their school holiday to be with you two on your birthday."
To her right, Ino snickered. "It's no problem Satsuki-baa-san. Tenten and I had nothing better to do in California this week."
"Lunch was fine." Sakura answered the question shortly, busying herself with eating.
Tenten started laughing. "Oh, it was more than fine. Lunch was a-ma-zing."
"That good, huh? Did you get laid or something?" Sai mumbled through a mouthful of alfredo. He swallowed. "I didn't think you were old enough to get into a male hooker club."
"Sai!" His mother pinched him in the arm. "Don't say things like that. I'm sure your cousins wouldn't even dream of stepping foot in one of those... places."
"For your information," Ino volunteered. "We went to eat lunch with Hinata and Shizune at the sushi restaurant."
"Oh!" Her mother's eyes sparkled. "Was Sasuke there?"
"Yup! And we gave him Saki's phone number." Tenten added.
"A double celebration!" Satsuki clapped her hands together. "Anata, isn't this exciting? You might have that handsome young man courting your daughter!"
Their father sighed. "Sai." He addressed his son. "We need to go to the gym."
"For what?"
Kenji Haruno's gaze darkened. "So we're in top shape to throw that bastard back to Japan."
Swatting her husband in the arm, Satsuki frowned. "Oh don't be dramatic Kenji. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Sakura never dates any boys... though I can't imagine why..."
"Huh." Sakura finally spoke up. "I wonder if it has anything to do with that dating lecture you and Tou-san continue to give Sai and me every six months?"
"Don't be silly Sakura." Her mother waved off the notion. "We just said it's difficult to balance a relationship and school at the same time."
"Which equates to don't date until graduation. Face it, Kaa-san; you're only changing your tune because somebody-" She glared at her cousins "-thought it would be funny to give my cell phone number to a complete stranger."
"Hey Saki," Tenten paused. "Isn't that your phone?"
From between Sakura and Ino's chair, they could barely hear Taeyang's Wedding Dress. Fishing her phone out from the front pocket, Sakura hastily excused herself and wove her way through the tables to the front of the restaurant.
She hit answer right before the call redirected to voicemail. "Hey Naruto."
"Yo." Her childhood friend greeted her. "Happy Birthday! Tell your asshole of a brother to answer his fucking phone."
"Sorry." Sakura exited the restaurant. "We're eating dinner and he probably couldn't hear it in the restaurant."
"Yeah well, your mom said it was cool if me and the guys took Sai out later tonight. You know, since you did lock him in a closet earlier."
Again with the closet. "That's wasn't me!" Sakura protested. "That was all Tenten. I'm still trying to figure out how she managed to get him to go inside the closet in the first place. I wanted to spend lunch with my brother and he was supposed to invite you and some of the other guys but the girls had other ideas."
"It's cool." Naruto told her. "So where'd you guys go?"
"The sushi place."
"Yeah? Geez Saki, do you ever eat anywhere else?"
"I'm sorry it's my favorite restaurant." She rolled her green eyes. "Forgive me for not having a varied palate."
The other teen laughed. "Lighten up; I was kidding."
"I know."
"So what else happened today?"
"I just found out that my cousins and two best friends thought it would be hilarious to give my cell number to a total stranger."
"No shit? Who'd they give it to?"
"Strangers are strangers for a reason, Naruto." Her lips quirked into a smile. "But they gave it to the Paper Boy."
On the other end of the line, Naruto paused.
"The Paper Boy? That waiter in the restaurant all the girls are obsessed with?"
"Mhmm. They're also obsessed with setting me up with him."
"I see." His voice was curt. "Well, I don't want to keep you from dinner."
"Yeah..."
"So I'll see you later. Tell Sai to call me."
"Yeah. Later Naruto."
Sakura sighed and looked at her phone, forlorn. Things would never be the same between her and Naruto. Whenever one took a step forward, the other took ten back. It was frustrating to be battling the same problem for nearly a year.
"There's no use in thinking about it." Sakura told herself before bumping into someone.
Whoever it was she ran into caught her by the arm and steadied her until she regained her balance. Sakura opened her mouth to apologize and to thank whoever it was for catching her but the words died on her lips.
"It's you..."
Sasuke was surprised his father actually bought his mother's pathetic excuse for eating out.
"I feel like celebrating the accomplishments of my sons!" Mikoto told Fugaku Uchiha energetically.
He should have known this entire outing was bound to be a disaster. The entire ride to Olive Garden, Itachi wouldn't quit texting him snide comments (which Sasuke thought was a waste of texts since he was sitting next to him in the car) and his mother wouldn't stop turning around once every three minutes to smile brightly at him.
Pulling into the restaurant parking lot, Fugaku cursed. "What are all these people doing out on a Tuesday night?" He muttered while searching for a parking spot.
They passed the entrance and Sasuke thought he saw a head of raven and cherry blossom pink inside the restaurant but he shook it off. He was just seeing things. It had been a long day.
"Found one Tou-san." Itachi finally quit texting him and pointed out a spot directly in front of the glass windows.
The Accord slid into the space. At the curb, Sasuke paused to tie his shoe as his parents and brother walked into the restaurant ahead of him.
Standing up, Sasuke felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. He stopped to read the text.
Move your ass ototou.
Gritting his teeth, Sasuke ignored his brother and shoved his phone back in his pocket. As soon as he started walking, someone crashed into him. Reaching out to steady the other person, Sasuke's brain stopped functioning when he realized who he held by the arm.
"It's you..." Sasuke blurted out.
Sakura Haruno, in her cherry-blossom-highlights-and-green-contacts glory, stared at him in disbelief.
"Hey... um... thanks for catching me. I'm sorry about running into you like that." She composed herself.
"It's not a big deal."
Shoving his hands in his jean pockets, Sasuke debated on asking Sakura Haruno why she was at Olive Garden when he knew by the sports car she and her brother drives the Harunos could easily pay to eat at one of the more upscale Italian restaurants.
"Are you here for your birthday?"
Sakura smiled. "Yeah. It's my twin's favorite place to eat."
"And what's yours?" Sasuke asked even though he already knew the answer.
Laughing, Sakura answered, "Take a guess. We were supposed to eat lunch together with our mutual friends at my favorite restaurant and dinner with the family at Sai's, but that got screwed over when my cousin Tenten locked him in the downstairs closet."
He grinned. "No way."
"Way!" Sakura groaned. "And then... lunch happened. And everything after."
"Hn. I got your note."
She buried her face in her hands. "Oh God..."
"It was nice." He offered. "And your cousin wrote your number on the order form."
"I know." Sakura said miserably. "And she used my phone to text and call you."
"Han used my phone to text you first. Or, I guess it was your cousin he actually texted."
Giggling, Sakura opened her mouth to say something but someone interrupted them.
"Sasuke," Itachi emerged from the restaurant. "Kaa-san is..."
He fell silent at the sight of the two talking.
"What?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"... who's your friend?" Itachi asked instead, his gaze never leaving Sakura's face.
She laughed sheepishly. "Uh... we're not exactly friends. I bumped into him."
"Really?" Itachi looked amused. "Sasuke... maybe you should get her number."
He shot his brother a dirty look.
"I already have her number."
Itachi's grin grew. "Good work ototou. Two numbers in one day. Kaa-san has another reason to celebrate."
"Actually," She timidly spoke up. "I think the first number you're talking about is my number. My idiot cousin gave it to him earlier today."
"I see." Itachi glanced at the restaurant doors. "Well, we better not keep you from your dinner Miss..."
"Sakura." She supplied. "Sakura Haruno." Checking the time on her phone, the girl gasped. "Oh my God, I've been out here for twenty-five minutes already!"
Watching Sakura Haruno sprint away, Itachi looked at his little brother again before leading him to their table.
"So..."
"Shut up Itachi." Sasuke grumbled, narrowly dodging a waiter carrying a tray of food.
"She's pretty."
"Hn."
"And polite. The kind of girl Tou-san would approve of. Is she Korean?"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Are you stupid? Her name's Sakura Haruno. It can't get any more Japanese than that."
"Even better." Itachi said airily. "Tou-san would definitely approve. Where does she go to school?"
"Can you please drop the subject?"
"So you don't know. Shame."
Sasuke found their table in the corner and sank into the empty chair by his mother. "I never said I didn't know."
"So where does she go ototou?"
"University of Michigan! Will you please shut up now?"
"Oh my God!" A female voice interrupted their argument. "I can't believe it's you! Saki-chan, today must be your good day!"
Sasuke's blood turned to ice.
"We're leaving Ino." Sakura Haruno snapped, pulling her blonde cousin by the arm. "It's rude to interrupt people—especially complete strangers—while they're eating dinner."
She forced a smile on her lips and bowed deep from the waist. "Please excuse my cousin. She has issues understanding personal space boundaries. Enjoy your dinner."
Stunned by their sudden appearance and exit, it took a while before any one of the Uchihas said a word.
"Who was that?" Mikoto breathed out.
"Just some people I see at the restaurant." Sasuke mumbled behind his menu.
"Hey Kaa-san." Itachi mentioned slyly. "You'll never believe it."
Kicking his brother in the shin, Sasuke sent him a warning glare.
"Hmm, Itachi-kun?"
"That pink-haired girl..."
"The super polite one? Oh Sasu-chan, you should date a girl like her. She's polite and pretty! I like her. It's too bad we never got her full name."
"Actually, she's the one-"
"Itachi." Sasuke hissed. "If you know what's good for you, shut your mouth."
Mikoto looked scandalized. "Sasuke! Don't be like that to your brother. He has your best interests at heart."
"And pigs fly." The younger Uchiha snorted.
"She's the girl whose number Sasuke got earlier today." Itachi announced loudly.
The table fell silent.
"Hn." Fugaku cleared his throat. "So you're not gay after all."
Sasuke sunk deeper into his chair. How he wished the earth would swallow him whole.
His only comfort was that somewhere in Metropolitan Detroit, Sakura Haruno was facing a similar interrogation and felt just as miserable about the insinuations her family and friends made about their complex relationship. If they even had any semblance of a relationship in the first place.
"Sit up straight Sasuke." His father commanded. "Otherwise, you'll have terrible posture. How are you supposed to marry that girl if you're always slouching all the time?"
Across the table, Itachi smirked and kicked him in the shin. "I told you so." His brother mouthed.
Sasuke groaned and settled deeper into his seat, thinking:
This is so...
At the same time, just as Sasuke predicted, Ino, Tenten, and her mother were drilling Sakura about seeing Sasuke at Olive Garden. Pulling at her hair, Sakura gritted her teeth and thought to herself:
… annoying.
Author's Note:
Hey guys! Long chapter for you to make up for the recap that was the previous chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it (as I was hauling ass to finish it before my extremely busy Saturday).
Off to finish (read: start) my Calculus homework. :/
Ja ne-
Callista Miralni