[Thanks to "Old Toad" for your encouraging comments!]

BIT OF A MARTINET, THAT BADGER MAJOR

Toad rubbed his rear, it stung just under the waistcoat. Goodness, all this fuss over a few wagers on the gee-gees!

Toad had been about to tap Badger over a paltry seven-and-six that young Sebastian "Basty" Badger owed for several lost games of penny nap, but after Badger's ministrations with the ashplant (eight cuts? Thought the limit was six, by George) it seemed the outstanding bill might be, at this point, forgotten.

Now I'll have to lay out a quidlet or two to Stoats Minor and Tertius to do a bit of 'shipping' to Badger's study. Perhaps slip little Stoat Quartus a ninepence to pour treacle in the old boy's slippers!

Toad leaned back from where he'd been holding the armchair for support after the energetic wielding of Badger, whose right arm was not just known for his bowling, and looked through bleary eyes at Rat and Mole. Rat was disgusted, and Mole just looked sorrowful.

Mole was such a serious little chap! Squinting through those mended spectacles, and too moralistic to get paid to help a fellow with his lines, it was a shame. Badger expected 500 from Virgil by tea-time tomorrow. And two weeks gating!

As if reading Toad's mind, Rat snorted. "He should've reported you to the Head. How many schools can you exhaust before your pater says no more, and makes you fill ink-wells in his office?"

"Father has no office." Toad said with some asperity. "Working for a living is like chewing with your mouth open, or forgetting your ascot. Not done."

Mole giggled appreciatively at this, and even Rat smiled.

"Look here, Toad." Rat brought Toad a cup of tea, while Mole began frying some bacon. "You're a great chum in some ways, you can't hold your wicket for toffee, but we've had some good times in the short time you've been here this term. But you've got to reform-"

"I may be going back to St. Squirrel's "Toad said haughtily. "This is just a stopgap, if I can show my people at home-"

"How on earth are you going back to your old school?" Mole shook his head over the rashers. "You'll be sacked if your antics are discovered, and Badger may give your motorbike to charity or something."

Toad kept his mouth shut, as his study-mates were unaware that his cycle had been smashed beyond repair during a drunken midnight carouse through the woods with the French master's wife,who found Toad's distended eyeballs "riotous".

How to reform? Toad was just getting started!