Notes: I now have an Editor. Whoooo. Her name is lulubells226. at least I assume the person is female. Whatever.

Anyway, in this chapter I wanted to get Varus with set up with meeting Azhoka and starting off as a Jedi without doing much philosophical stuff. Anakin doesn't want to start him off with too much. I wanted it to be somewhat fast and coincided to get the point across of Varus's attitude in transition from having no memory to moving forward.

A part of me feels a bit that the lack of much emotion in the transition may be a weak point for him, but rather I am going to trust in my vision of Varus. He isn't the type to mope. A part of it may be denial, in focusing on work and action and moving and not taking the time to think about it, but that is just a part of who he is. Just as I said in the previous chapter "I'll find out who I am. Then I'll move on from there." or something. Varus is simple minded and doesn't like overthinking things.

Trust me, the time in his character development to sit down, shut up, and meditate on his predicament will occur. Just not at this point. It will be later when [spoiler] happens. :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even the clothes on my back.

Episode 1 - Starting Over Part 3/3

Ahsoka Tano picked at her food with her fork aimlessly and avoided eye contact with Anakin. Ten minutes ago she had been starving, famished even if you heard her complaining. Now she wasn't hungry.

Anakin grew worried watching her refuse to touch her food. He expected her to consume the entire thing in her vacuum-like mouth in the few moments it wasn't open to talk. Seeing her be so docile was part remarkable and part frightening.

"Ahsoka, I-" A piece of bread hit Anakin in the face. She hadn't moved.

"Ahsok-" Now it was a smothering of peas and carrots.

Anakin sighed deeply to himself. He was used to Padme's little tantrums. the two woman did much the same thing to show their dislike. The only difference was he could hug and kiss his wife to pieces until she giggled or screamed and actually came out of her shell to talk. If he tried that with his Padawan it would be creepy and wrong on about a million levels. In a million ways it's wrong and creepy that doesn't even include the Jedi Code.

Ahsoka and Padme both had the tendency to put a blank mask over their face instead of appearing angry. It was probably from one being a Jedi taught to refuse emotion and the other being a politician. Jedi or not, Anakin was a man. He could fight Sith Lords, charge into battle against an army of droids, recite every hardware classification used in his droids and memorize their programming language like the back of his hand. He even knew every piece of hardware and programming put into the back of his hand!

Dealing with emotional woman was scarier and more unknown than all of that combined. As a man he knew he couldn't understand the odd subtleties much, he needed blunt, open, in-your-face problems. The only problem was getting to that point.

"Padawan." Skywalker said more sternly. He grabbed a cream pie flying for his face and put it down. He flipped Ahsoka's tray over to remove her ammunition, grabbed her arm, and dragged her out of the crowded cafeteria.

On the way out a whole tray of stuff hit him in the back of the head. He could feel the goop going down his neck, but he could deal with that later. He planted her down on a bench in the garden and stooped down in front of her.

Her glare was lethal.

"Ahsoka." He began, firmly but gently. "This boy is without a master and is identified to have a strong connection to the force. He also angers easily and reacts physically at the drop of a hat. Now what does that sound like?"

"A Sith." Ahsoka snapped.

"Exactly. He is neutral right now, but he needs guidance to keep from falling into darkness."

"He is too old." she snipped as though she read it out of a textbook. As many times as the Jedi say it, it probably is.

"Yes, he is. But these are desperate times, Snips." Her face softened slightly at the nickname. "This is less about making a perfect Jedi that will be able to reach the pinnacle of what we can be, and more about keeping the Sith's claws off of him. His age will produce problems, and I doubt he will ever become a Master with his late introduction to the principles, but he can still become at least something."

"And I can't?" Anakin blinked in surprise. He never said she couldn't.

"You can."

"Then why!"

"Because teachers are in short supply."

"So that's it then?" She asked, visibly hurt. "You're just going to dump me and take on wonder boy?"

Anakin flinched inside, perhaps he had been phrasing it all wrong. "What? No. No! I'm not dumping you!"

"But, you said!"

"I am taking on both of you, Snips. This is known to happen. In fact, successfully taking on multiple Padawans at once is a big step toward being Master." Anakin flinched again. Her face turned hurt again. "Not that becoming Master is my goal. Ahsoka, I am not a gold-climber! I have been asked to take you on, and I will. I have been asked to take this young man on, and I will."

Silence came over them. Anakin stood up and sat down beside her. He let the time pass for a few minutes as she seemed to come to terms with the idea of having a third person in their little team. He shrugged. "Besides, being a Master isn't all that shiny. Masters aren't supposed to take on Padawans to distract them from the 'whole'. What would I do without regular doses of insanity?"

"Probably go insane, strip down, and streak." She teased.

Anakin shuddered. "Ew. You don't think highly of me, do you?" Ahsoka laughed.

"When are we going to meet him?"

"Right after I got you on board with the idea."

She smiled excitedly and jumped up. "Well then, let's go! I want to meet my rival!"

"Partner, not rival." Anakin corrected as they left the garden.

"Pft, sure."

As they walked down the hall to where Varus Wynn was held, Anakin gave himself a mental pat on the back. He had braved the great unknown of females and came out with his sanity intact. The only bad thing was the stuff on the back of his head and neck was hardening into thick goop.

Nearing the room, Ahsoka asked, "So, is he cute?"

Anakin slapped his forehead. "I never stopped to check. That would be..." He shuddered slightly. "Wrong. You will just have to find out for yourself."

"Ah, okay. Well he better be cute. I am not going to be outdone by someone who looks like a pig."

Anakin rolled his eyes. "I think you have been spending too much time with the Senator."

"Yep, she took me out on something called a 'girls night' yesterday and-"

"I'll tell you right now, Snips. I don't want details." What Padme and his Padawan did on 'girls night' he didn't care to know. It was one step too far in dangerous territory.

"Suit yourself. It was fun though."

They stopped in front of a door. He pushed a few keys and the door opened. A young man, about seventeen, jumped out of the bed in the middle of the room. "Varus Wynn?" Anakin asked.

"Yes."

"I am Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker."

"You're the one assigned to be my master?" Varus asked.

Anakin nodded.

"Good, hospitality around here sucks. I keep being told I'm not a prisoner, yet am restrained the next moment. Stupid droid."

Anakin chuckled. "The medical droids are overzealous at times. I assure you, you were never a prisoner. We just want to restrain patients from hurting themselves until they are well enough to leave. I think you will find you made the right choice in choosing to have a master." Anakin smiled nicely, trying to give a good first impression. The young man eyed him critically, but showed nothing.

He had already met the boy as a Sith, and the similarities were uncanny. He half expected the boy's eyes to turn red and yellow and for lightning to come out of his hands, but instead the boy produced a heavy calmness. Varus didn't appear as visibly angry, and his Dark Side energy was gone, but he still seemed critical and arrogant. All the same, Varus seemed to be accepting of circumstances and went with the flow, so far. He walked out of the room and nodded respectively to Anakin. He was expecting a bow or salute, but this would have to do.

So far so good.

Varus noticed Ahsoka. He eyed her clothing and asked, "Who's the slut?"

I don't know what it is about my face, but every time I turn around I there is someone glaring at me. First it's a bald man, then a droid, and now some girl. You would think there was something on it. Well, at least before. Now there is a big red hand print on it. It still stings.

How was I supposed to know she was this man's apprentice? She's half naked!

I follow my new 'master' out to an expansive room filled with people and big statues. Everyone has robes and looks all contemplative. They may be thoughtful, but to me they just look like their suffering from stomach cramps. Am I going to be expected to put my hands together and bow like them?

"So, uh..." Damn, if they tell me to start hugging trees I'm going to break something. "What exactly have I gotten myself into?"

Skywalker glances at me as he walks. "You were not informed before your choice?"

"All the droid told me is that I am a 'force sensitive' and that if I am going to learn to control it without killing myself, I will need a teacher."

"That is the gist of it." Skywalker acknowledged. "But it is far more complicated. Didn't it tell you of your past? Or at least what little we have been able to dig up?"

The droid did well in filling in some blanks about my past. My parents were from Tarus and died to Malak's bombardment. I was rescued by a Jedi and taken to an orphanage. I grew up quietly and was on a transport to Coruscant after my entry into the Jedi was accepted; when I stumbled across a bad crowd and was given a concussion. Not much else, but it was enough for the time being.

The copy of my official acceptance papers were in my pocket. "There was that, but I don't remember much."

"I am sorry." He frowned.

I wave it off. I appreciate the sympathy, but it is wasted. I would rather spend my time moving forward.

"It will take a very long time to explain in detail, but, there are two ways of using the Force. You can either use it for self-gain and destruction, or you can be selfless and work to heal and help people. The Jedi strive to do the latter."

The three of us enter a large garden. In a corner there is a school of youngsters waving little light swords around and a teacher watching over them. The trees scattered around the garden is quite nice and shady, and I can see for miles and miles. The sight is stunning, albeit overdone.

Skywalker continues, "However, there is a danger. The power of the Force is addicting in its magnitude and there is always a danger of losing yourself to it. You can die from the addiction if it becomes strong enough, and in using even the smallest amount you can become addicted. In order to prevent both, we must restrain ourselves at all times and have a disciplined mind. We must train our minds to be stronger than the addiction and our bodies to not always need it, and to endure."

Ah, so that's what the droid was hinting at. Good to know. "And If I chose to not take on a master?" I ask.

"You either use it aimlessly and become lost and die in painful Force addiction, or you have the sensitivity stripped from you for your own sake and everyone else's." Skywalker reaches up and snaps off a thick branch from a tree we are under.

Lovely bunch. A part of me thinks that the 'stripping' part is about them being obsessive control of who uses it and part of me wonders just how dangerous it is if these people will go to such extreme lengths. Still, if it is as bad as he makes it out to be, it might just be preferable to be stripped and left without the danger to live a normal life.

...Nah.

Skywalker brings his knee up into the branch and breaks it into thirds. He tosses a piece to me and a piece to the girl. What's the branch for?

As if reading my mind, he answers, "A weapon that has been tradition to the Jedi since the beginning, is the lightsaber." He motions over to the kids to the side. So the light swords are called lightsabers? Weird. "A lightsaber allows protection from blasters, and offense in cutting. It is not random and uncontrollable like a blaster, but is more elegant and responsive. It won't do harm without you fully intending it. It also comes in handy in getting through big doors and often does the talking for you."

I wave the stick around in my hand to get a feel for it. It does feel like something I can control. My master shrugs. "There is also some spiritual stuff like how training teaches you about yourself and finding your center. Don't tell anyone, but I might have slept through that part."

The girl stops glaring at me long enough to giggle, and I smirk. Skywalker isn't a total tree-hugger? I think I might like this guy. Twenty points.

Skywalker motions for Tano to look at me, and I look at her curiously. She spins her stick backwards in her grip. "Varus, so far as I hear, you knew how to use a sword before your concussion. So instead of trying to teach you from scratch, I think it would be easier to work toward getting you to remember what you taught yourself."

"But I forgot everything." I argue.

"Instinct, my new Padawan, is never forgotten." He smirks. "So you two will duel until I say to stop."

Instinct is never forgotten. I stop to contemplate that a moment. I don't know exactly how much of me is instinct, but I must admit that thought is reassuring. I haven't completely lost myself. Another five for Tree-Hugger. I am feeling rather good about this, besides the slap my day is just getting better and better. These guys are being very nice and helpful, maybe there is something to being a Jedi.

"Begin."

The girl lunges forward with an evil grin and swipes upward, knocking the branch out of my hands by breaking my pinky. I fall back in shocked pain and grab my pinky and I am quite sure it doesn't bend that way.

Tree-Hugger snaps my finger back in place. The air around my hand grows green and yellow a moment and the pain is gone. Healing I guess, should be handy to learn. Why couldn't he have done that on my face? The slap still burns! I pick the branch up and try again.

Again she knocks the branch out of my hands at the first strike and then hits me over the head with it.

After the seventh hour of nonstop me-getting-my-ass-kicked she is no longer glaring at me, instead she seems to feel sorry for me. Tree-Hugger is confused about something, but I can feel the disappointment coming off of him in waves. I am frankly pissed. There goes my day.

"I think that is enough for today." Tree-Hugger frowns after tending to my broken hand. The girl nods with sympathetic eyes and picks up my branch for me.

Oh, hell no! I don't need their sympathy. I don't need their disappointment and sadness! All that does is tick me off! "One more time! I can do this!" I holler.

Master eyes me for a moment before shrugging. "alri-" I'm already on her from behind.

I manage to get my stick back from her but she drops low, spins around, and knocks me off my feet. I land heavily. My breathe escapes me and I gasp for air.

"Are you done?" She demands.

I grunt 'yes' and she walks to the door to wait on us. I'm not stupid. Having been disarmed sixty times and knocked to the ground twenty without touching her, I learn a little something. I suck.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Varus." Tree-Hugger takes my hand and pulls me up. "She has been fighting skilled opponents for a long time. You are only just beginning. You may have some skill self-taught, but it will take time to tap back into it, and from there the true training begins."

I look at him heavily and ask, "Are you reading my mind?"

"Your emotions are on your face." He jokes. Smug jerk. Minus two. "Let's go get something to eat. When we are done we will find you some clothes, and attend to the library."

Dinner for me involved eating while enduring a lecture on emotional control. Seems my anger blinded me and interfered with my instinct. Instinct I wasn't even tapping into, so it was a moot point. Also something about anger having the same effect as drunkenness in making us do things we wouldn't otherwise do. I tried to ignore it, but he had a way of explaining things that just made sense. Like he knew personally what that kind of stuff was from experience.

After lunch two of them took me to a part of the palace-building, correction 'Jedi Temple' as they call it, to find clothes. Tree-Hugger was willing to buy me my clothes until I received money. Plus fifteen for Tree-Hugger.

(Turns out doing missions earns you a paycheck on top of a monthly allowance. It's not something they told me earlier as though it didn't matter to them, but I have nothing. I'm glad. I'm going to need the money.)

The clothes were picked by the girl, and I knew immediately I was going to regret it when I walked in. Most of the store involved various sizes of the same style all having a hundred shades of the same white, brown, and green. All of them were robes. The other half involved some variety while still being overly conservative.

"Clearly the girl doesn't shop here..." I mutter. I pick at a robe hoping it will change into something besides white, brown, and green. If the girl picks one of all three colors I'm going to find my own clothes.

"Ahsoka Tano." Tree-Hugger corrects me. "What makes you think that?"

"Have you looked at her?! Everything here is modest!" I motion symbolically to my body above the waist.

What I'm trying to say clicks in his face and the end of his lip curls in a smirk. "A friend of mine is working on getting her views to be more reasonable." Good. I don't like her nor dislike her, but it is very hard to look her in the eyes when there is simply so much skin demanding my attention. Even as huge as her eyes are.

"Just please don't say or do anything. Keep your thoughts" blah blah blah "Her first impressions of you are already poor and" blah blah blah "just try not to notice."

Minus five for droning. hm, three actually. I am here for free after all.

I wave off his concern and lean back to wait. Soon Ahsoka returns with a brown hooded robe and set of clothes. For a girl with a horrid taste in clothing, it isn't half bad. It is a combination of brown and a shade of grey that looks more like steel. It also isn't flowy like most of what I see. She must have spent a good amount of effort finding something different. Ten points for girly.

It also fits perfectly without restricting my movement. Extra point. It puts me in a generous mood.

Lastly comes this library of theirs. Three floors filled with walls and walls of blue shiny... things. They aren't books and no one is touching them. Instead everyone is centered around computers or carrying data pads. Are the shiny panels just data storage?

In the back of the first floor we approach a very old looking woman. She looks pretty good for her age. She has a hidden spunk and energy about her.

"Hello, Madam Nu." Ahsoka greets. Tree-Hugger just settles for shaking her hand. I prefer to stand behind observing silently.

"It is good to see you little one!" The lady returns. There is some chatter, some small talk, blah blah blah. These Jedi really know how to say nothing with as many words as possible.

"Madam Nu." Skywalker inserts himself. "May I present Varus Wynn. He is my new Padawan, and is very much new to the Jedi all together." I nod to the lady. "I was hoping for a data pad and some light reading material to help start him off." What? I don't recall there being any homework in my choice. Are they making this up as they go along?

"Ah! Of course!" She pulls out a data pad from under the desk and says, "General, if you don't mind showing me what it is you want to have put on this?"

"Certainly."

Rather than stand around doing absolutely nothing while Tree-Hugger and Nu walk around finding holobooks to put on it, I choose to wander around. Ahsoka follows along. I say, "I don't need a babysitter." I do try to say it nicely, but it comes out snippier than intended. To her credit, she doesn't react. She just shrugs noncommittally.

Endless walls of blue shiny panels were an interesting sight that quickly lost its mysticism. Beyond that there were computers and desks and people and a mysterious passage that Ahsoka stops me from entering by grabbing my shoulder.

I look down the circular passage and ask, "What is down there?"

"The Holocron archive. Only Masters are allowed down there." She gently pulls me aside and I allow it with a glance down the passage. I can't help it, I'm curious.

Rest of the two hours were boring. I spend my time walking, walking, standing, leaning, walking, and bashing my head into the wall. How long does it take to pick a few datavids?! I am going to start ticking off points if Tree-Hugger keeps this up. Ashoka minds her own business while keeping me company, which I appreciate. It is actually nice not having to bother talking. Nice to meet someone who appreciates silence. She mostly reads while walking. At the same time she has an uncanny ability to walk around objects and avoid running into anything without looking at them. Is that a Force thing?

After knocking off two points from Tree-Hugger, he is finished with his business.

He produces a data pad. "Access to the holonet, and to our entire library. I selected a few already downloaded to it for you. Also it comes with a map and GPS system. I can add some more toys to it later, but this should suffice for now."

I take it and glance through some of its applications briefly. There are a lot available, I will have to tinker around later. The books he already put in were subjects on Light Side, Dark Side, Sith, Jedi, Republic, Separatists, and sword fighting for beginners. They totalled around two thousand pages.

"You call this light reading?" I ask in disbelief.

"I will E-mail you what pages to read, Varus. Trust me, I know most of it is nonsense as well." He says with a wink.

That's more like it.

Tree-Hugger thanks Madam Nu for her assistance and we leave. The sky is dark and the girl yawns. She says goodnight to us, and Skywalker walks me to my room. "Tomorrow I want you to wake up at five AM. I have some arrangements to make for you to receive extra training to catch up, and our first mission is in two days."

He makes it sound to be something exciting, but I'm not stupid. It will probably be something small and easy for children with no skills or trust, like me.

"Good night Varus." He says at my door.

I drop off my new set of clothes on my bed. "G'night Tree-hugger."

Before he opens his mouth to ask, I close the door.

With the rest of the night to myself, I get down to... something. What exactly am I supposed to be doing? I feel antsy as though there is something in my gut I know to be doing, but I can't tell what that is. So I focus my mind on my surroundings.

I have a closet, small enough for a few sets of clothing, and I find some pajamas were already hung. They are my size. Thankfully they aren't tacky pokadots or disgusting unicorns, instead they are the normal every day drab BROWN this place seems to love so much. I need to buy new pajamas. I refuse to wear ones that are the same as everything else around here, that would just be too much uniformity.

After changing into them grudgingly, I stick my new set from Ahsoka into the closet and my old set I was wearing in. Holding it in my hands, I finally notice it. The old set is black and steel colored with some loose metal plating on the outside. It looks frilly, not in a girly way, but as though it has been torn to shreds at the bottom half. It has a belt loop that looks as though it once held something and the arms go down to my wrists. There are a large number of cuts and burn marks all over it from the sleeves to the chest, but none in the back.

The old set looks oddly comforting despite the stains and grim markings. Not just because it was the clothes I first woke up in, therefore linking me to my past, but as though it is clothes I have worn for forever. Like its a second skin. I endured burns and cuts (and probably horrible table manners) in this clothing. So much so I hadn't even noticed it until now: now that, when I took it off.

The bed has a single sheet and it was changed to be more firm and lower to the ground. The previous bed was at chest level. Beside it is an intable with a lamp ball hovering over it. I tap the ball and the light source changes automatically from the roof to it. The diminished light is comforting.

I throw myself on the bed and consider going to sleep, but my mind keeps racing. Now that I don't have Tree-Hugger and Ahsoka to busy myself with, I am left to my own dreary contradicting thoughts. I can't say I'm over having amnesia. It's still the first week, but while I feel it isn't all that bad, I am still restless about it. I do appreciate the help I am getting and how far these people are going for me, but it just doesn't feel like I'm progressing. My past feels like sand in my fingers. It is still nearby and if I don't try to grasp it, it will only fall into the past forgotten. Perhaps I could talk to Tree-Hugger about it tomorrow.

I spend the next who-knows-how-long with my mind spinning in circles over my ignorance, desire to cure it, and yet contentment in having landed in a place that is making a decent start. The stares are annoying and the droning on and on is wasting my time, but they are making an effort.

The place means well but it still feels stifling. I can't say I will stay. I don't know where else there is! Once I get out and around I can decide if staying is my best option.

I flip on my data pad after driving myself insane with my thoughts, and look through various applications: The map is handy. The GPS and holonet are simple. The 'homework' from Tree-Hugger doesn't look that difficult, I can get to it tomorrow morning.

I find a decent application for an alarm clock and set it.

Edited by Aeterna Knight: u/4617921/

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