I am so inconsistant about uploading, and I am very sorry about that. I just finished taking an econ test and it was awful, so I made myself feel better by finally finishing this chapter! Now I will pretend that supply and demand graphs don't exist for the next few days as I try to make my brain function again.

Sora managed to make it to Riku's bedroom before collapsing under his weight with a dramatic groan. "Why do you have to be so heavy?"

Riku rolled away from Sora with a groan of his own and chose to ignore the question. Instead, he attempted to pull himself up onto his bed and cursed under his breath as he struggled with the simple task. It was so infuriating. He had spent so much time building up his strength to face the darkness around him and inside him, and one short confrontation with Ansem had him too weak to stand on his own. How could he be so weak? What was happening to him?

He could feel himself falling into despair and could find no reason to fight the suffocating feeling of helplessness. He should have known that he wasn't strong enough to deal with his darkness. He had been weak enough to give into it in the first place. Now he was paying the price, and he deserved it. It was even worse now that he had dragged his friends into it. How could he be such a failure? This was all his fault-

His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden crushing weight landing on his stomach, knocking the wind out of him and providing a welcome distraction. Not that he would ever tell that to Sora, who was grinning wickedly from where he was now lying across Riku. However, the grin didn't last, and a completely serious expression soon replaced it. "Don't do that," he stated with an accusatory finger pointed at Riku's face.

"Do what?" Of course Sora had to notice the few things he thought he was good at hiding. Why did he have to be so observant?

The pointing finger dropped back to his side, but the serious gaze remained. "Don't beat yourself up over this. Don't blame yourself and don't push us away. We're going to figure this out and we're going to help you." The worried expression lifted as quickly as it had come, ruined by Sora sticking out his tongue playfully. "That's what friends are for!"

Riku responded to his friends antics by shoving him off the bed, satisfied with the surprised yelp that came when Sora hit the floor. He was still feeling a little down, but Sora's words had improved his mood considerably. Maybe letting his friends know wasn't as bad as he had previously thought.

He should have know it wouldn't last. Sora hung around for a little while longer before leaving to find Kairi. The light-hearted atmosphere quickly dissipated in the following silence. Even when he tried to hold onto Sora's confident words from before, he found it to be very difficult, like he was grasping at smoke as it slipped through his fingers with ease. After all, what good did words about friendship and working together make when you were left alone to face your demons?

And the demons did not disappoint. They attacked with waves of his despair and helplessness followed by a shower of self-loathing, all crashing into him with a strength that he could not match. Instead, he curled in on himself, wishing he had the power to protect himself. He felt so feeble and weak, unable to face his own darkness. He was a failure and would only put his friends in danger if he couldn't get things under control.

He scoffed at that thought as soon as it formed. His "friends" were just worried about themselves. They only wanted to make sure he had enough control of his abilities to be useful to them in the coming war. They didn't really care about him.

No, that wasn't right. They did care about him, and they were concerned for him. They weren't just his friends; he was their friend, too. They were worried about his well being, not just his powers. Weren't they?

His thoughts swirled together in a jumbled heap of contradictions, each vying for his attention. His friends cared. They only cared about power. They kept a close eye on him because they didn't trust him. No, they trusted him and just wanted to make sure that he was okay. They wanted him to be happy. They were using him. He clenched his head as it began to pound painfully. What was wrong? What was right? What did he believe? Everything was so confusing, and he just wanted the pain to end.

His brain was ignorant to his pitiful pleas, and the awful mixture of confusion and pain continued. He needed to find a way to stop it. It was too much for him to handle. Maybe if he could just make up his mind the pain would go away. But what side should he choose? An image of Sora laughing with him earlier popped into his head. Maybe they actually did care about him… He had barely formed that thought when pain stabbed through his head once again. No, they didn't care about him. Why should they? He was a constant danger to all of them. They only kept him around to use him for their own gain. Unsure of what to do, he nodded numbly as those thoughts ripped his happy image of Sora to shreds. They might not really care at all. They could be using me.

The pain decreased suddenly at those thoughts, allowing him a small reprieve from the onslaught. He was grateful for that, but it felt so wrong. He couldn't imagine his friends using him, no matter how hard he tried. Why did it feel better to say that they were?

His moment of wavering was rewarded with renewed pain much stronger than it had previously been. It was overwhelming and all-consuming, leaving him unable to do anything and making his vision go red around the edges. He needed it to end, so he reached to his heart for strength, not caring if it was light or darkness that came to his aid. He just wanted the pain gone.

The darkness of his heart responded to his call.

After being repressed for so long, the darkness exploded out of him in a wild and uncontrolled manner, forcing him flat on his back with the force of the blast. His room took a beating as well. Glass items shattered, furniture shifted and tumbled over, and walls gained sporadically placed jagged cracks. The destruction was swift and effective, and the oppressive force disappeared as quickly as it had come.

The pain went away with the sudden release of darkness, but it left him feeling empty, almost hollow. It was strange, but it wasn't an unpleasant sensation, he noted vaguely. He felt detached from his worries, his feelings, even his body to some extent. He knew it should bother him and cause him great concern, but he couldn't bring himself to care in this state. He wasn't even worried when a deep voice that wasn't his own whispered in his mind.

Well done, Riku. Your friends can't save you now.