Chapter 15

I Always Will

Severus had been flipping through the Prophet, wondering if the Ministry had released the arrested who he knew were no Death Eaters. They hadn't. Predictable, really. Three arrests then releases wouldn't instill much confidence in the people regarding the Ministry's abilities.

He had been so busy mentally criticizing the Ministry that he hadn't heard the knock at his office door, and so he nearly jumped when he heard it open and two teenagers unexpectedly invited themselves in.

"Draco, Miss Granger," he greeted, "you two are back rather early."

"Lucky coincidence," the young witch said as she stepped forward. "Happy Christmas, Professor," she placed a small green tin on his desk, "they're cookies. I helped my mother bake them. They're much better than the ones that I baked on my own. I can brew a potion without a hitch, but baking is still somewhat of a challenge for me…"

"Thank you, Miss Granger. You said it was a coincidence you were both back early?" He arched a brow questioningly.

"Yes," Draco said stepping forward, "I wanted to get away from home, so I came back earlier today. I was surprised to come through Slughorn's floo instead of yours."

"Dumbledore thought it would be best that I retain as much of my privacy as possible. He made up some excuse and assigned arrival duty to Horace."

Both of the teenagers nodded in understanding.

"And I was actually hoping to speak to you, Professor. I have some questions. I ran into Draco on the way down here."

"You always have interesting questions, don't you Miss Granger?"

They all noticed that he did not seem to be particularly agitated or annoyed at hearing what she wanted, and that made the girl smile.

"I do, in fact. Whether that is to my benefit or detriment, I'm not quite certain. May we sit, Professor?"

He gestured toward the seats in front of his desk. "You may as well. I am well aware of what you want to know, and it is a long tale to tell."

Draco and Miss Granger sat, the witch sitting up straight and looking very eager to begin. The young wizard was angled toward her and looking very tired.

"Before we begin, I must ask how things at the Manor were after I left, Draco? The Dark Lord seemed to believe your story and seemed rather pleased that you were using mind games to toy with Potter."

"I think they're still going well," Draco straightened slightly. "Mother seemed to be relaxed for the first time in months and Aunt Bella cackled with glee. The Dark Lord even ventured into my mind and saw conversations with my housemates that he found particularly amusing."

Severus nodded in relief. He had played a role in convincing the Dark Lord that going after Granger was a marvelous idea which would keep Potter distracted from noticing anything else Draco was doing. If he was spending time with the Gryffindor witch, then he had an alibi for most situations.

"Now Miss Granger, before you ask me anything I have a question for you: what do you think you know?"

"I don't know much, Professor. I know that Lily Potter's patronus was a doe. I know that a corporeal patronus can take form of another's patronus according to strong emotions."

"And what emotion is that, Miss Granger?"

The witch hesitated before sighing. "Love, sir."

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Draco interjected. "Are you saying…?" He looked bewildered as he shifted his gaze between the witch and older wizard.

"I don't know, Draco. Am I saying that, Professor?" The witch looked at him with an expression that was both curious and knowing. It reminded him of one Lily would give him when they were children. And another she would give him when they were older. Only the second one was one which said she knew the truth and wanted to see if he would be honest. He usually was. Despite what people thought, there were very few times in his life when he actually lied to her. Because he learned a new lesson each time he did.

The professor sat there for a moment looking at his two students. He was both astonished and impressed at history's ability to repeat itself. He had taken the holiday to think about it and decided that he would always consider this to be the cruelest joke the universe ever played. But he would not allow the ending to repeat itself. Whether or not they maintained their relationship was not up to him, but Severus Snape was not going to allow Hermione Granger or Draco Malfoy to die. Draco was not going to lose her the way Severus lost Lily.

"Yes Miss Granger, that is what you are saying."

Draco looked stunned. The man could only imagine what was going through the boy's head. One could only hope that Draco would see that Severus had been in the exact same position and understood his feelings.

Granger looked sympathetic. Not pitying, but genuinely sympathetic.

"Before either of you ask, I will tell you about us." He heaved a sigh and closed his eyes as he began to speak, "I met Lily Evans in the Muggle world. I had been wandering in a spot where I enjoyed passing time when I saw Lily demonstrate magic in front of her sister. Petunia, being the lovely woman that she is, was horrified by Lily's abilities and called her a freak. I had not had contact with another magical being outside of my family before, so I approached them and Petunia ran. I demonstrated my own magic and told Lily who she was. That she was special.

"We became best friends. She and I grew very close and spent nearly every day together before we went to Hogwarts. We were obviously sorted into separate Houses, but she assured me that nothing could change our friendship. As the years passed, we remained quite close and I realized I was in love with her. Despite this, she was in the same house as James Potter and that meant he was able to spend more time with her. He and I did not particularly like each other, and Lily did not take kindly to the way I was treated, so she would defend me. But I could not simply not retaliate, so a rivalry developed.

"I eventually befriended people who had come to be known as Death Eaters. From there, I made decisions which began taking a toll on my relationship with Lily. My attitude began to change and I mistreated her. She was able to tolerate it for longer than most would have. Then I made my last mistake and she turned away. After school had completed, and the Dark Lord was running rampant, I heard of a prophecy which declared that a boy born at the end of July would have the power to defeat the Dark Lord. While Trelawney is typically not the most reliable source of information, I could not stop worrying because I knew Lily was pregnant. I begged Dumbledore to protect her and that is when my loyalty shifted. Unfortunately, she trusted the wrong person, and I could not save her."

"Professor Trelawney delivered the prophecy?" Granger asked looking thoroughly perplexed.

"She did. I know you do not think much of her, but it is a fact."

"Who did she trust?" Draco asked.

"A man named Peter Pettigrew," the witch answered before Severus had an opportunity to respond.

Draco stiffened noticeably.

She turned to face him, "You know him?" The witch then looked to the professor. "Peter Pettigrew is a part of Voldemort's inner circle?"

"Pettigrew is a worthless lackey that the Dark Lord keeps around simply so that the rat feels safe. He is disposable. And I assure you, Miss Granger, whenever I see him, I must fight to restrain myself from killing him in cold blood."

The two teenagers looked almost afraid of their professor. He knew it was probably due to his expression. He had thought several times about killing the man and could only hope that the opportunity would present itself in the upcoming war. He knew that he should not even be thinking that in front of his students, let alone tell them about it, but it was the truth.

"What mistake did you make that caused her to turn away?" The question came from Draco again.

"I called her the worst thing that one can call a Muggle-born." The color seemed to drain from Draco's face. Granger looked relatively un-phased but downcast her eyes slightly. "It was more than just me calling her a name. It was betrayal – blasphemy of the highest order. I took the best friend I had and the best person I knew and called her filth. I ignored years of friendship because I was a petulant child and wanted to belong to the Death Eaters. It was betrayal, it was a lie, and I regret it. I always will."

Now Granger asked a question, "How did Voldemort find out about the prophecy?"

"I was the one who told him about it. I had not realized there was any possibility it could have been about Lily and her family. When I did realize it, I went to Dumbledore."

"Professor, I'm sure you know that many question your loyalty to the Order, so why not just tell them it's for her?" Granger asked. "I doubt anyone could doubt you after that."

"The less people that know, the less likely it is that I can be compromised. The Dark Lord will not be able to compel the information out of them if they do not have it."

"Right. That makes sense."

"I don't think it's right that everybody knows everything about me," Severus added. "I do not want to share the most meaningful relationship I will ever have with the world. Lily Evans is the greatest influence on my life."

Hermione and Draco looked at their professor like they never had. Severus knew that for the first time they were seeing him for who he really was.

Granger cocked her head and asked quietly, "Why would you tell us?"

Severus paused for a moment. He could not tell her that Draco was in love with her. "There's a voice inside you that tells you what you should do… Mine is Lily. When I see your friendship, I am reminded of myself and the danger that I put her in. Entering a war on opposite sides and attempting to maintain a friendship is not an easy feat. The situations are not the same, but there are a few parallels which concern me. Quite frankly, I am telling you this so that you two will trust me so that I, in turn, can prevent history from repeating itself."

The two exchanged a look then seemed to be done with their questions.

Severus had a question of his own. "Why are you two pretending to be in a relationship? When we last met in here and discussed that plan, I simply said your friendship needed to be defended."

The young witch and wizard looked stunned.

"Whose idea was it?" he pushed.

"I'm not sure, actually," the witch finally spoke. "It sort of just happened."

"I can't remember," Draco added nervously. "Either way, a relationship would be more effective than a friendship. It makes it seem like I can break her heart."

"That is very true," the professor conceded. He honestly just wanted to know because it had seemed to be so effortless for them.

"We'll be going then, Professor," Draco said.

The witch rose to follow. "Thank you, Professor. For everything." She looked at him with sad eyes but gave him a sincere smile.

"Goodbye."

Severus watched the two walk out his door and into their future. The Dark Lord wanted the Death Eaters in by the end of the term which gave Draco less than six months, and honestly he would be pushed to move more quickly than that.

He looked down at the green tin.

After befriending Lily, he would occasionally visit her at her house. Her mother once had them all help make cookies – Petunia, Lily, and himself. He wanted to use magic to help decorate his, but Lily had asked him not to because it would make Petunia feel badly about her decorating.

He honestly could not remember the last time he had a cookie. Strange how unnoticeable things like that can become.

Reaching for the tin he suddenly felt very hungry. There were about a dozen cookies decorated with red and green frosting. One of them had writing – "L & S". He put that one aside.

"Draco, are you here yet?" Hermione called.

"Yes, I am."

After leaving Professor Snape's office Draco had wanted to head to the Room of Requirement, but Hermione had said she needed to go get his gift first so they agreed to meet.

"Perfect! So first you can open your gift, and then we can talk about plans for the term." She handed him a velvet box.

The box contained a silver pocket watch with intricate etchings on it. He opened it so reveal a typical clock's face. On the inside opposite of the clock was an inscription. "As days go by, we come to realize the only things that matter are those which distract us from the time."

"It's enchanted," Hermione pulled out a coin, "it's linked to this will relay messages between us. The message will appear in place of the inscription, and it will heat up in order to notify you when I'm trying to communicate."

"It's lovely," Draco said fingering the outside design. "But instead of the coin, do you think you would be able to link it to this?"

For the first time, the witch noticed the small box resting on her friend's lap. He handed it to her and she held it gingerly. "Draco, you didn't have to get me anything."

"You got me something."

"Yes, but mine was for communication purposes."

"Well if you're skilled enough, mine can serve the same purpose. Open the bloody box, Granger."

She rolled he eyes but did as he said. Inside was a pendant on a silver chain. The stone was rather large, pear-shaped, and Hermione would have called it an emerald if it had not had traces of purple in it. "Draco, it's beautiful."

"It's a stone called alexandrite. It changes color ranging from blue and green to purple and sometimes red."

"Thank you," she said breathlessly. She got up to hug him.

"You're welcome," he chuckled. "It has a smooth silver surface behind the stone which you might be able to enchant. It's a good sized stone, but there is not a lot of room for text. Which is fine, since I'm not particularly chatty anyway."

"I'm sure I can work with the space I have. I can try the enchantment right now."

Removing the pendant from its box, she turned it over to look at the surface which she would work with. She was surprised to find an inscription already there. Just three words. She looked up to Draco as she read them aloud, "I always will."

A/N: I know it's been a while since I've updated, but I have been busy with school. I graduate in December and then I am out in the real world and that's sort of really intimidating.

Upon hearing the news of Alan Rickman's passing, I cried and then decided that I needed to write this chapter. His explanation was supposed to come later, but I needed to write something which focused on Severus. Alan was such a gifted actor and beautiful person. May he rest in peace and know that we will always love him.