Ch 12

Beast boy woke up the next morning on the couch to the smell of blood. He followed the smell to where Raven was. He knocked on the door. "Raven, are you all right? I smell blood." He heard her groan in pain. "Ok, I'm coming in. Please don't kill me for this." He opened the door to see Raven curled into herself on the bed.

"Be-beast boy," she said weakly as BB immediately came to her side.

"What can I do?" he said with concern shimmering in his eyes.

"I-I need pain killers," she said as she concentrated in her breathing. "I-it's my time of the month."

"Oh," he said as he blushed. "I'll be right back Rae," he said as he rushed out of the room to get what she needed.

She felt his warm hand on her arm, and she smiled. "Thanks," she said as BB helped her sit up, gave her the pills, and took the cup of water after she was done. Laying back down, she sighed.

"How about I make some tea and something to eat?"

"Thanks Garfield."

He smiled. "Get some sleep Rae, I'll take care of you."

Closing the door behind him, he let out a breath. There was something about her blood that called out to him. He just wanted to burry himself in her smell. He knew what his instincts wanted to do with her, but they were still young. It was too soon. Clearing his thoughts, he made her tea and some left over food from the night before, placed it by her bedside, and left her alone to sleep. He felt uneasy leaving her, but she needed her rest.

An hour later Beast boy quietly made his way into the room to see the painful look on his girlfriend's face while she was sleeping. He did the only thing he could think of as he turned into a wolf and curled his back against her body. Before he could fall asleep, he felt her hand move over his fur, and held him close to her body, burying herself in the warmth. Ever soon often he would feel her fingers grip his fur and then relax. This went on for a few minutes until it stopped and BB could relax.

When Raven woke up, she noticed a green wolf curled up to her. She smiled as she stroked his fur, causing the wolf to wake up, sit up, and lick Raven's face before changing back to his human form. "Hey Rae, how you feeling?"

"A little hungry," she said as she looked to the side table. "You made me something."

"Yeah, I'd thought you might be hungry when you wake up but it looks like your tea got cold," he said as she grabbed the tea and heated it up with her own powers. "Oh, that's cool."

"Glad you think so," she smiled. "Thanks for the meal Garfield," she said as she took her last bite.

"Are you sure you're feeling all right?" he asked.

"Yeah, this happens once a month. One the first day I'm in pain and the rest the time I'm fine. Don't you always wonder why I put up that shield in front of my door once a month?"

"Honestly I just thought it was because you were having a bad day and didn't want anyone to disturb you."

"Isn't there anyway to make it less painful?"

"I'm not exactly willing to experiment with my spell books on the natural process of my body. I did read somewhere that sex will make my condition easier to deal with, but I'm too young and the last thing I want to do is risk getting pregnant."

"You know it's not easy to see people I care about in pain."

"Oh," she smiled. "You care about me huh?" Raven teased.

"Yeah," he smiled as he took her hand in his and they leaned in and kissed.

"I think I need to shower."

"Well gee Rae why do you have to say things like that?"

"I feel gross," Raven blushed.

"Ok well did you bring extra um," he blushed, "tampons or pads with you?"

Raven giggled at how nervous he was. "Yes, I'm always prepared Garfield," she said as she gathered her bathing supplies and clothes as she left the room.

Raven was relaxing under the water when she heard footsteps coming her way. "Who's there?" Raven demanded as her powers formed in her hands, ready to strike.

"Relax Rae, it's just me," said BB.

"What are you doing out here?"

"I know you want your privacy, and I respect that. I'm not going to try anything, but it just eases my mind to know you're ok."

"You were really worried, weren't you?" she asked as she rinsed her hair.

"I've lost people that meant the world to me. I don't want to lose you."

"You won't lose me Garfield," said Raven as she turned off the water, wiped herself down, dressed, and came out of the shower stall to hug her boyfriend tight, "For whatever you've lost, I'm sorry."

"I love you," he said as he gripped her tightly.

She felt him shake in her arms and felt the tears on her shoulder. "It's ok Gar, every thing's going got be all right," she said as she felt his noise in her hair. "Ar-are you smelling me?" she blushed.

"Yeah, it kind of calms me down. Plus you smell so good," BB smiled and came out of his girlfriend's embrace. "I'm sorry I know it's kind of weird."

"Hey," she smiled. "Look who you're talking to. Besides, it's not so bad."

He took her hand in his and looked around. The sky was blue, and the weather was beautiful. "So, what do you want to do today?"

"I don't know. Why don't you pick the activity?"

"Oh I know, why don't we go sailing? The weather's great for that, and we can talk and stuff."

"Sounds nice," Raven smiled.

"Well let me just gather some food in the basket Rita gave us and we can go," said BB as he raced inside his home.

The lake was peaceful as the couple enjoyed the nature that surrounded them. Well Raven was observing nature while BB was watching his girlfriend.

When Raven felt Beast boy's gaze on her, she looked at him. "What are you thinking about as you stare at me Garfield?"

"I-I think it's time to tell you everything."

"What do you mean?"

"I made Beast boy what he is today. My jokes and happy go lucky personality was just a facade as you know. I want you to know why."

"I'm here no matter what Garfield," she smiled.

"I-well I wasn't always green. I had white colored skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair. I was happy child, and I had the best parents a kid could ever ask for. One day when my parents, they're were microbiologist, were working I was outside the house, playing. I spotted a green monkey, and I was a curious kid who loved animals. I reached out towards the creature, and it bit my arm. I was in so much pain, but I screamed out to my parents who found me and rushed me inside the house. Now my dad had been working on an antidote for Sakuita. He hadn't perfected it, but he used it on me. I felt myself die as the liquid from the needle was inside me. I passed out and woke up green. My parents were sad for me. I guess they knew a lot of hurt would be in my future. Anyway I was made fun of, ridiculed, and people were afraid of me. One day my mother was being attacked by by a snake and I turned into a mongoose and ate it. That was how I discovered my powers to shape shift into any animal."

"Everyday I would change into different animals my parents had shown and taught me about in books. At the time I could only transform into small animals. Anyway one day we took a break from all that and decided to go on a nice boat ride. Something was happening, and I didn't know what. I know now there was a malfunction of the boat. My parent told me to fly into a bird and meet them on the shore. I said ok. When I changed back, I saw them going over the edge. I was horrified, but I followed the river. I found blood, so much blood and the mangled bodies of my parents. I screamed and cried so loud in grief, but I didn't have much time to mourn because some poachers found me, stuck a needle in me, and I passed out."

"Waking up I found myself in a cage in a dark room with a collar around my neck. I heard two men talking about what they were going to do with me. I stole for them when they found out about my powers. Whenever I did something wrong, they would beat me or use the collar to electrocute me. I was even stabbed a few times and shot at. I was only 6 at the time, and I wanted to die. My parents were gone, and I had no one to love. One night it got really bad. One of the men came to me drunk and he grabbed me, laying me over his bed. I saw the zipper on his pants being pulled down and I tried to escape. Before I could, I heard a gunshot. The drunk man was on the floor, and I was put back into my cage without a word. The next morning was life changing. I was doing a job for my captor when I was caught. My captor tried to run and got shot. I was relieved. I thought the worst was behind me," he said as he shook his head. He had tears down his face as his eyes could only look at the bottom of the boat."

"When I met my uncle Galtry, I was eight. He was my next of kin. At first he seemed nice. He taught me about different subjects and the world. He treated me with kindness that I hadn't know for two years. I was happy but everything changed once he saw me shift into different animals. He became greedy, cold, and selfish. He only thought of me as some experiment that he could profit from. He took me to S.T.A.R. labs where a friend of his worked. They took me in immediately. I spent two years there. In that time I became educated and tested on like some lab rat. Needles, judgmental eyes and a series of painful tests were my life. I think I accepted that pain would always be a part of my life."

"I'd curl up in my cell and try to comfort myself but no one cared about me. One day I met Dr. Stone. His eyes were kind, but I was still scared. He could see that, he could see my pain as he reached out his hand to me. Before I knew it, I was crying in his arms. He held me tight like a a caring father. I begged him to help me, to get me out of here. He nodded before he was taken away from the room. He would try to visit me when he could, and we'd hang out and talk about the plan for my escape. It was the day of my escape, and I was excited and little scared. We waited until everyone had left for the night, and Dr. Stone came into my room, giving me some nourishment his wife had cooked. I helped him open the high window in my room, I transformed into a bird, and flew as fast as I could because the alarm went off but not before I heard him say good luck Garfield. I was ten."

"The forest became my home for a year until I was found again by poacher, but I ran this time and transformed into anything I could think of to escape them. I spotted a hut in the middle of the forest and hid there. That's when I met your uncle. I was so exhausted from running with my wounds that I passed out. My body had been through so much at that point that I welcomed death, accepted it even. Then you came and saved me apparently, " BB smiled sadly. "I hated it. I hated living. I looked to your uncle one last time and flew out of the hut. I figured I'd let the poachers catch up to me, and they did. Before I could, the Doom Patrol fought them off. I became a part of the Doom Patrol for two years. I couldn't stay though. I didn't agree with all of Mento's beliefs about being a team, so I left, met you guys at 14 years old and the rest is history." He risked a look at his girlfriend who was silent and had two pairs of red eyes on her face with tears down her face. 'Wait red eyes!' "R-Raven." he said softly.

"Az-Azar-Azarath Me-Metrion Zinthos," she uttered with a shakiness in her voice as she closed her eyes and took a few breaths in and then out. She managed to calm her Rage, but her heart was still hurting for the changeling.

BB thought it better to wait for her to speak. 'Maybe I shouldn't have told her. Maybe it was a mistake. What if she decides that she doesn't lov-? no no I can't think like that. Just breathe,' he thought as he closed his eyes, took a breath and then out.

Raven wiped her eyes and looked to BB, who looked like he was deep in thought. She had appreciated his silence. She feared her Rage would have done something if he had interrupted her trying to get ahold of her emotions. "Garfield," she said softly and that got his attention. "How do you feel?"

That was the last thing he thought she would say to him. "Kind like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders but I have to ask you to keep it between us."

"I will I promise," she smiled. "Thank you for telling me. I know it couldn't have been easy."

"It wasn't easy for you either Rae. I saw your eyes. Are you all right?"

"I'm sorry you had to see that. My emotions were acting out at once, and Rage came to the forefront. I was angry because I don't understand how people could be so cruel to you. It wasn't fair what happened to you. I just can't figure out how you survived all these years."

"I didn't know either. After I left the Doom Patrol, I was alone again. I felt alone, and my past came rushing back to me. I started flying for a while, took breaks for nourishment for a while. Then one day I decided the next place I land I was going to kill myself. It was Jump City but before I could, I heard a noise from where I was in an alley, and I looked out to find Robin fighting Starfire. My thoughts of suicide went away after we all met that day. I would still have the thoughts occasionally while we were all in the tower. Eventually the thoughts faded and I didn't cut anymore. I haven't picked up a knife since. My biggest reason for giving those things up was because of you. I fell in love with your laugh. I thought maybe I could have a future with you someday. That belief sustained me." He risked another glance at Raven, who had a fresh tears running down her face.

"Sorry, they're happy tears," she said as she felt his relief.

"Oh thank god," he said as he transformed into a kitten and jumped up into her lap. He felt her hands on his fur, and it felt so right as he settled on her lap. He could feel her chaotic emotions calming down as he nuzzled his head against her stomach.

"He-hey that tickles," she laughed as she scratched him behind the ears.

'Oh yeah baby right there! She knows my sweet spot,' he thought as he purred louder.

He felt her pick him off her lap and set him resting on her shoulder. "I love you," she said as she held him close.

'I love you to Rae.'