Chapter 21

Inner Thoughts

He looked down and saw a letter being slipped into an envelope. Steps walking toward a trunk. There was a present being removed. The envelope was placed on top of the gift revealing a name to him.

Ron.

Draco pulled out of her mind, trying to catch his breath while remaining calm about what he just saw. He looked up at the witch, "For someone who supposedly read all about Occlumency this week, you're surprisingly bad at it."

Hermione let out a small cry of frustration. "I know, I'm just... distracted."

"I noticed," he said coolly.

Before he could say anything else, she grabbed her coat and stood. "Can we go for a walk?"

"It's miserable outside," he protested slightly.

"Please?"

He wondered if this was her way of distracting him from what he saw inside her mind. Grabbing his own coat, he shrugged it on and reached for her hand. "Shall we?" He knew he should not feel badly about seeing the private contents of her mind, since it had been her idea for him to teach her. She insisted that there was nothing she wanted to keep from him, so there was no reason he shouldn't teach her. Seeing the letter, he wondered if she regretted her decision. He tried to quell the anxiety he felt building. He and Hermione were together and she didn't seem to have any complaints, so he should have had nothing to be worried about. Even if she hadn't spoken to Weasley since Valentine's Day. Her writing a letter didn't suggest anything. At least, nothing beyond friendship. As much as he wanted to jump to conclusions, he knew he shouldn't. People who hid things and were caught went on the defensive immediately. She hadn't done that, she had just... suggested a change in location. If Hermione Granger wanted to distract him, she would have come up with something much craftier.

When it registered with him that she was leading him out of the castle, he paused. "Don't you want to get breakfast?"

She nodded silently, "We won't be long," she promised. "We'll head in soon to have a bit before the Apparition lesson." She stopped walking and peered up at him. "Unless you don't want to come with me. I won't force you to-".

"No," he interrupted. "I'll come with you."

He followed her out to the lake where she found a boulder to sit on. He watched her stare thoughtfully at the water.

"Today's Ron's birthday," she explained. "I wrote him a letter. I talked about everything that happened, everything I felt, everything I feel, everything I don't want to feel anymore."

Her words made his chest constrict. He wanted to know what "feelings" she was referring to. She continued before he could ask.

"I don't know if he's read it or how he'll react. I gave the letter and my gift to Ginny and left my name off of it. That way he'll at least open it..." she said sadly. "I'm worried, Draco. Harry and I have been all right, but it feels strained. Ron... he's a whole other beast. There are so many issues there, and I just hope we can work through them. He's my friend," she began to choke up, "I just don't want to lose him. I couldn't ignore him on his birthday."

For the first time in a long time, he noticed that the witch was tearing up. He couldn't remember the last time he saw her cry - the night of Slughorn's party? He moved to sit with her on the boulder and she shifted over. He wrapped his arms around her.

This might be the last time you get to hold her like this.

He pushed that thought to the back of his mind. She didn't lie to him, she didn't hide it. She was telling him about the letter. That was a positive sign.

As if she could read his mind she said, "I was going to tell you about it. I wanted to wait to see how Ronald would respond, but it's been bothering me all morning."

He wondered why Weasley's response would impact her telling him. How Weasley's response would affect the conversation where she told him about the letter. He grabbed her hand, but remained silent.

She leaned into his chest before laughing.

"What is it?" he prompted.

"You have a very distinctive smell."

He cocked an eyebrow at her.

"The wind kicked up. I could smell the lake water - not very pleasant - and you."

"Please tell me I smell pleasant at least."

She laughed and nodded. "You smell earthy. Like sandalwood and something floral." It was her turn to cock a brow. "Does Draco Malfoy like smelling like flowers?"

"I am under no obligation to tell you what goes in my cologne, Granger." He smiled down at her.

"I like it regardless. It's comforting - familiar."

Before he could respond, they were interrupted by a screech cutting through the air.

"Hermione!" They looked up to see the youngest Weasley sprinting towards them. Hermione jumped to her feet. "Ron's in the hospital wing!"

Hermione gasped and Draco saw the panic set it. She turned to him, grabbing his arms. "I have to go!" she said hurriedly. "I'll talk to you later!" She sprinted toward her redheaded friend, and they both turned back to the castle.

He couldn't decide if being able to look into her thoughts could be considered a blessing or a curse.

"What happened?" Hermione cried out as she and Ginny approached Harry.

Harry recounted the whole story to her she and Ginny. Harry had only been good for the headlines when he found Ginny before he demanded she run and find Hermione.

Madam Pomfrey would not let them in until eight o'clock that evening. Hermione had managed to get her crying done in that time. Along with some thinking as she tuned out Harry and Ginny.

This type of situation was exactly what she had been worried about since the end of last school year. She had known that foreboding feeling in her gut wasn't just an overreaction. She wanted to kick herself. How could she have let things get so bad between Ron and herself? If Harry hadn't saved him, Ron would be dead. She had trouble processing that. Ron could have been dead. Ron could have died, and he would have died believing she was angry with him - which she had been. She had wasted so much time being angry with Ron, and tonight that could have been the way it ended. She felt regret swelling inside her chest. She knew that she couldn't go on this way. Once Ron was better, it wasn't an option for her to be angry with him. Or Harry. Or any of her friends. They had no more time left for such pettiness.

At ten o'clock the twins had arrived and joined Harry, Ginny, and herself around Ron's bed. Hermione had sorted enough of her own thoughts by then, so she was now focused on the conversation going on around her. The three Weasley's and Harry were discussing the poisoned mead and how it might have ended up that Ron was the one who ingested it. Maybe Slughorn poisoned Ron's cup. Maybe the cup was meant for Harry. Maybe Slughorn was cursed or a Death Eater. Maybe the bottle was meant for Slughorn.

Then Ginny brought up a point that Hermione either hadn't heard or hadn't registered while tackling with her inner thoughts.

"But you said Slughorn had been planning to give that bottle to Dumbledore for Christmas," Ginny reminded Harry. "So the poisoner could just as easily been after Dumbledore."

"The poisoner didn't know Slughorn very well," Hermione spoke for the first time in hours. "Anyone who knew Slughorn would have known there was a good chance he'd keep something that tasty for himself."

Someone mentioned Katie Bell - maybe someone was targeting the Gryffindor team.

"Well, I don't think it's Quidditch, but I think there's a connection between the attacks," said Hermione quietly.

"How'd you work that out?" asked Fred.

"Well for one thing, they both ought to have been fatal and weren't, although that was pure luck. And for another, neither the poison nor the necklace seems to have reached the person who was supposed to be killed. Of course," she added with darkly, "that makes the person behind this even more dangerous in a way, because they don't seem to care how many people they finish off before they actually reach their victim."

Before anyone could respond, all five heads whipped up at the sound of Ron's voice. He had called Hermione's name.

She inhaled sharply as everyone turned to look at her. She stood nervously and made her way over to his side. He whispered her name again, and she reached out to take his hand gently.

"I'm here, Ron," she said softly. He whimpered but did nothing else in response. She took in his pale complexion, noticing how it glistened from dried sweat. A deep sadness set in as she was once again reminded that one of her best friends of six years had almost died. She could smell the mead and expired love potion on his breath.

She was jolted by a moment of recognition as her mind took he back to when she smelled the Amortentia in Potions. She had smelled parchment, grass, and something that she didn't recognize at the time. Comparing that to the sickeningly sweet smell on Ron's breath, she realized the other scent was sandalwood and something floral...

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley entered as a welcome interruption and she dropped Ron's hand. She quickly hurried out with Harry and Hagrid as she tried to understand what it meant. She had smelled Draco's scent in the Amortentia.

She had wanted to examine that detail, but was distracted by Harry and Hagrid's conversation. They might shut down Hogwarts. Dumbledore either had no theories about the attack or was not sharing them. Hagrid had overheard an argument between Snape and Dumbledore. Something about Snape not wanting to do something for Dumbledore, and something about Snape not investigating students in Slytherin after Katie got attacked.

Hermione felt exhausted by the time she and Harry got to Gryffindor Tower. It was nearly midnight, but that hadn't registered with her until she crawled into bed.

There was a warm feeling spreading across her chest. She realized it was her necklace. After Madam Pomfrey let them in to see Ron, she had sent Draco a message saying Ron was okay.

"Alright." That's all his message said. He had probably been working on the cabinet all day and was just as exhausted as she.

Hermione grabbed onto her necklace. "Goodnight."

After a few moments, her necklace warmed again.

"Goodnight."

As she lie on her bed, she made a note to talk to Professor Snape the following day. She thought it was important that she get the full story of the conversation from him. She believed that if Professor Snape knew anything about the attacks he would have mentioned it to her, but maybe he had heard something else since then.

She thought once again about the Amortentia. She wondered if she was remembering the scent incorrectly, but that wasn't likely. She had an impeccable memory. She reminded herself that Amortentia mimicked scents she found attractive, so it did not mean she had loved Draco then. Or now, she added hastily. Draco had always been good looking. And before that class there had been moments... So maybe there was something between she and Draco before she could even recognize it.

She wrapped her hand around the necklace he had given to her. There was a flutter. Something she used to feel for Ron, but hadn't felt when she grabbed his hand in the hospital wing.

She still loved Ron, but... not the way she used to.

She stroked the letters inscribed on her necklace.

Goodnight.

A/N: So Hermione is getting close to the truth. I wonder how her conversation with Severus will go...