Ginga opened the front door and was surprised to see Madoka.
Was his drunk mind playing tricks on him? Why? Why would she come to see him?
He didn't say anything to her and just let her enter his living room. His head was hurting again, and he felt everything spinning around him. He stumbled to the couch, lying down and ignored Madoka. In fact, he wasn't sure, if she was really there or if the alcohol was playing tricks on him. He closed his eyes, totally exhausted. The short way from his bedroom to the front door and back to the living room nearly took away all his strength.
Ginga? Are you all right? A female voice wondered. A female voice that sounded very much like Madoka.
With much effort and stamina, Ginga rolled over to his left side and was met with images of a blurry Madoka. Was this real?
He rubbed his eyes, and then sat up. The three Madokas blended into one and he sighed, wondering why of all people, she had to be here.
Madoka…whadda want?
Madoka looked as though she'd just witnessed someone getting hit by a car. Though she wasn't horrified by his display of intoxication, she definitely was worried and…was that a hint of guilt he detected on her face? Ginga didn't bother trying to figure it out. She could be consumed with guilt, for all he cared. It wouldn't change anything. She hesitantly approached the couch, her lips pressed into a thin line.
You're drunk, aren't you? She flatly observed.
Ginga chuckled, though it was hollow and sarcastic. He remained in his set position, eyeing her warily.
Really? How'd you know? he sardonically snapped. He wasn't in the mood for someone to criticize him, even if it was Madoka. She sighed and rubbed her temples, as though bothered by a colossal headache.
Ginga, did you do this because of what happened earlier? At the WBBA party? Is that it? Because believe me, it was totally unexpected for me too. I didn't have a clue, he is planning to propose. But what do you expect from me? I know it was an awful thing for you to witness. I…I just don't know what to do anymore. There was no way, I could have refused him there. In front of his colleagues. In front of all this people.
She loomed over him, a shadow blocking the light. The words went in one ear and out the other. Ginga wasn't fully paying attention to her, though he had heard everything she'd said.
Mado, could ya please speak a little softer? You're yelling, Ginga croaked out, slurring the words.
Madoka scowled, placing her hands on her hips.
Ginga, honestly. Did you even listen to a word I said? I'm sorry, you know. But what else was I supposed to do? I couldn't refuse Tsubasa and break his heart, she persisted with annoyance. She sounded desperate. At this curt statement, especially the sentence about breaking his heart, Ginga suddenly gained newfound energy. Or maybe it was the fact that an adrenaline rush mixed with too much Whiskey caused a weird chemical reaction.
Whatever it was, Madoka jumped back a bit as Ginga sprang to his feet, towering over her. She wasn't afraid, though very surprised and studied him with caution.
Oh, so now you think you were doing what is right? That you're doing me a favor? You think that by contradicting yourself it's saving me the heartache? Well, news flash, Madoka, you're breaking my heart, just by standing there, he spat out, with malevolence.
Madoka glared up at him, having no tolerance to fight with a drunken Ginga. But she was willing to engage in the action if it were the only way to get through to him.
Zero and Shinobu had mentioned to Kenta that they'd seen Ginga at the Irish Pub, guzzling drink after drink like a sponge. The two friends had taken a walk in Metal City and were surprised to find the Legendary Blader in a tipsy state. Kenta, of course, had mentioned this to Benkei and Benkei had gotten it to Madoka. Madoka was worried that Ginga had gotten drunk because of Tsubasa´s proposal earlier that night and as soon as she was free, she had rushed over to Ginga's place.
But the tone of his voice stung and she found her outer vigor a mockery of her crumbling inner strength. She'd never meant to hurt him…God no, that never was her intention. Things had just sort of…happened: so quickly, that she'd been forced to deal with the situation before she really knew what was going on.
No, I didn't think I was doing you a favor, Ginga. I was thinking in best interest…I had to accept this proposal and you know it. Tsubasa is the guy, I have been dating for two years now.
His eyes flashed with frustration and indignation.
You sure as hell changed your mind about that, when you kissed me, he seethed.
Madoka´s mouth fell open in shock.
I kissed you? I think it's the other way around! She shot back.
She wasn't sure if this was entirely true but didn't care.
Who the bleeding hell cares who kissed who! The point of the matter is that we did kiss and it did happen, all right? And you can't tell me you didn't feel anything because that's a total lie, Ginga growled.
Yeah, ok, we kissed. So, what? How do you know what was going through my mind at that moment? The kiss was a mistake, Ginga, a mistake. I'm sorry if I led you on but you have to understand…I waited so long for you to come home. I never gave up hope. But I realized I had to move on. So I had to find a new love, she answered, her voice growing desperate.
This only spurred on Ginga's anger. Oh, so you have Tsubasa now? Well congrats. Don't expect me to send flowers for your wedding. He knew he was totally missing the point of Madoka's confession but he didn't care one bit. He was too enraged.
Madoka paled at his words. I waited for you, she whispered, her voice shaking. I waited seven years…every year that passed I lost more hope! Madoka was close to tears now.
Ginga sneered at her.
Well, just as I told you. I didn't go missing on purpose, okay? I LOST MY MEMORIES! Ginga shouted.
But don't mind me, after all you have Tsubasa now. Go and be happy with him. Marry him.
Madoka resisted the urge to break down into tears. She felt completely horrible. It was as though everything and anything that could go wrong, was going wrong.
Ginga-I..I know that you are hurt. I just don't know what to do anymore.
Oh save it, Madoka! You only thought about saving your own skin. Admit it, you didn't give a damn about what I'd think. You wanted to make sure your perfect Tsubasa would stay -God damn- perfect. After all he buys you all expensive rings and things. My homecoming was an inconvenience for you, wasn't it? he heatedly hypothesized.
Madoka hastily wiped away a stray tear, her temper getting the best of her. Her face contorted from grief to rage, all in a matter of seconds.
How can you say that? It's always been you, you know that! You've always been a friend to me, first and for most. Why in the world would I forget that? I didn't think you would ever think of me that way. I'm not this kind of girl, Ginga.
Ginga felt bad. He knew that Madoka wasn't that kind of girl. That kind that was impressed with expensive presents. She never had been such a girl. He had hurt her. On purpose. Because he couldn't stand the fact, that she willingly accepted Tsubasa´s proposal. He had wanted to hurt her, but now he felt bad for doing so. But what did she expect from him? Should he watch her get married to Tsubasa? Just like that?
Why'd you come here tonight, Madoka? So you could make yourself feel better? Because it's only making me feel like shit. I know that you couldn't hold on forever…I didn't expect you to. But I thought you loved me and I thought there might be a chance to win you back, he hoarsely confessed.
Madoka grew soft at this, gazing up into his brilliant eyes that had lost their sparkle. He looked very tired all of a sudden.
Ginga…I don't know what to say, she trailed off. Ginga´s ruthless smirk returned as quick as a flash.
Go home, Madoka. Go back to your perfect life with your dream wedding and your dream husband. You probably never loved me anyway, right? You just dated me out of pity, he viciously leered. And without warning, Madoka's hand shot up and slapped Ginga across his cheek. Though it stung, Ginga was immune to it. He was too drunk and too angry to feel the pain. Madoka's eyes were wide with fury, her hand trembling. Her cheeks were flushed with a red hue. Her expression was twisted into a frown, though she looked like she would burst out into tears any minute.
I never want to hear you say that again. I never went out with you just because I felt bad. That thought never crossed my mind. I thought you only saw me as a beyblade mechanic. So I was beyond happy when you asked me out, you see? If you're too blind to see that I was desperately in love with you, then I feel no regrets about slapping you, she slowly explained, her voice shaking.
By now all of Ginga's energy had been zapped. All he wanted was for this argument to be over. He didn't even know why he'd gone off about Madoka feeling sorry for him. He had never thought that, anyway. That garbage had just popped into his head and spilled out of his mouth. He didn't know why he kept hurting her with his words, but maybe it was because just by looking at her, she was hurting him. Now the tables, it seemed had turned. Ginga had been the untouchable, the one guy Madoka had wanted, but couldn't have. And now Ginga was in that position. Madoka was the only woman he wanted…hell, needed, but she was unreachable. It was almost ironic.
Madochan…He reached out for her hand and surprisingly, she didn't pull it away. Her other hand found the side of his cheek that she had slapped, gingerly running it over the spot.
Oh, Ginga. I didn't slap you too hard, did I? she whispered. He was unable to tear his eyes away from her. He was hypnotized. He shook his head, his eyes glued to her. He could remember the way she would laugh when he would try to tickle her…or the way she would playfully hit his shoulder when he'd tease her. It seemed so long ago, he held her in his arms. He put his other hand over her hand that was on his cheek, then slowly brought it down and wrapped his arms around her waist.
What was going on? When did things go from a heated argument to some weird unrequited love scene? He was powerless over his emotions and dipped his lips to meet hers, capturing them in a lust-filled kiss. She kissed him back, her hands wrapping around his neck, pulling his head closer and closing any space between them. His hand traveled down her back and she shivered. As if she'd come out of a coma and just realized what was going on, she forcefully pulled back. Her expression was pained and he sighed. So, this is how it would have to be. A kiss or two here…and nothing ever more. She shook her head, her voice scratchy.
Ginga please…don't. He put a finger to her lips. He was so tired of fighting.
Do you still love me, Madoka? he whispered, his lips barely moving. She looked stricken with fear.
Ginga, I'm engaged to Tsubasa, she uneasily reminded. He didn't even blink.
That wasn't my question, Madoka.
That isn't our time, anymore, Ginga. I'm not sixteen anymore.
I know…I want you to fall in love with me, he confessed. The me-now, not the teenage boy, you used to date.
Madoka didn't reply. Her feelings were more than confused.
What if…you weren't getting married. What if you didn't…love Tsubasa? Would things be different? You do love Tsubasa, don't you? he quickly added, peering intensely at her.
Do I love Tsubasa? Wait...what kind of question am I asking myself. Of course, I love Tsubasa. I wouldn't be marrying the bloke if I didn't love him. Right? Right?
Madoka's thoughts were in a tornado. She couldn't believe she was even thinking something like that. Of course, she loved Tsubasa…of course…but the answer seemed fuzzy, like an old record on a tape, the more she gazed into the depths of Ginga's eyes.
Recollection of their past and other moments came back to her…messy hair and gentle eyes and whispered promises and late night walks, when no one was awake. For the first time since Ginga had arrived, Madoka was seriously considering ending things with Tsubasa. She was afraid to answer, as though if she said 'yes', this moment would all be a dream.
Yes, of course I love Tsubasa, she automatically replied. It sounded like a lie to her.
Well, if you didn't. Would things be different?
She didn't have to give that one too much thought
Yes…. I'd probably be still waiting around for you, she confessed with a sad smile. He wanted to smile but he couldn't. The seriousness and disconsolation of the situation didn't allow smiles. He leaned down and pressed his cheek to her, his lips close to her ear.
Stay with me tonight, he begged.
She shivered when she felt his warm breath, so close to her ear.
Ginga, don't do this. You're drunk.
He pulled back, his lips brushing her cheek.
Please. I'm not hinting at anything. I'm just saying to keep me company for a bit. Just like that night of my graduation, when you snuck up to my room. Just let me hold you, in my arms. One last time? he pleaded.
She looked at him, then to his open bedroom door then back at him.
And to his surprise, she agreed.
AN: Just as promised! the next chapter is finally finished!
thank you for reading! Please feel free to write your opinion :-* :-*
See you next time :-)