All was peaceful on the desolate island, a few birds were chirping, animals were grazing, sasquatches were scratching their backs. Though there was one being on the island who, instead of embracing the peace, was plotting the most entertaining ways of making teens suffer.
His shaggy black hair, trademark smirk that only means trouble and his naturally arrogant attitude were poised in front of a camera as he officially started off the newest season of everybody's favourite reality show.
"Welcome all Total Drama fanatics, to the newest season of your favourite show! I'm your host, Chris McLean. In this exciting edition of Total Drama thirty-six campers will be joining us right here on Stupidnaymi-island, a very convenient, nearly identical, copy of our beloved camp Wawanakwa. There will be campers joining us from the original cast, the revenge of the island cast and even a couple from the previous season Pahkitew-island. But using the same old campers over-and-over again gets boring, so to add some spice to the show we'll be bringing in three new victims-I mean…campers. I recommend that you all buckle your seatbelts because you're in for one wild ride after the break, right here on Total…Drama…Stupidnaymi-island!"
**que intro song**
Chris Mclean smiles at the camera, he knew that this season will be the most painful and interesting one yet.
"Welcome back to Total…Drama… Stupidnaymi-island! It's time to meet the first thirteen campers. First up is everyone's favourite stalker…Sierra! And with her is her dorky hubby himself…Cody!"
A girl with long purple hair came running onto the dock, excitement was practically dripping off of her as she pulled her beloved Cody, a small-ish boy with brown hair, behind her.
"OH MY GOSH! CHRIS! Me and Cody are like so excited to be back! This is going to be like tot's amaze!"
Sierra squealed happily while hugging her Cody-bear even tighter, the same Cody-bear who was currently in the process of turning a lovely shade of red (the first colour every person changes during suffocation, the second being blue).
"Um, Sierra, I can't breathe…"
Cody managed to mutter out through her death grip. Luckily, she heard him and allowed some air to enter his lungs, only to instead put her death-grip around his wrist instead before dragging him to the opposite end of the dock where Chris was pointing them to.
Now that Sierra and Cody were out of his shot, Chris turned back to the camera where his slightly irritated frown quickly turned back into his show-host grin.
"Alright, now that that weirdness is over, it's time to introduce the next contestants, the queen of mean herself…Heather! As well as the player-turned-robot-turned-Heather's boyfriend…Alejandro!"
Heather shot Chris a glare that could cut through steel before exclaiming her displeasure quite loudly…
"I can't believe that you forced us to come back for another season! This is outrageous! I-"
However, just as she was getting into her rant, Alejandro spun her around towards him so that their faces were only mere inches apart.
"Calm yourself, mi amor, just think of this as a chance for us, an unstoppable force, to steal the million dollars right out from under these people's noses."
Heather leaned forward a few inches.
"I love it when you talk all scheme-y… but don't do it again! That's my thing."
And so, the evil lovebirds ended up having a heated make-out session, earning a dirty look from Chris.
"If the two of you are going to make out…would you mind doing it someplace where I'm not in the process of hosting a show! Thanks."
Never once breaking contact, Heather and Alejandro simply shuffled towards where Sierra and Cody were standing.
"Moving on, we have…DJ and Harold! Sup dudes, DJ how has the curse been treating ya?"
DJ smiled as he answered.
"Actually, it's been great! Momma helped me through it and I haven't hurt a single animal since world tour."
Chris sighed.
"Disappointing… Harold, still as strange as always, I assume?
Harold glared at the offending host.
"I'll have you know that there's hundreds of people who are envious of my mad skills…gosh!"
As the two guys made their way over to where the others were standing, Chris turned back to the three girls who just emerged from the boat.
"Courtney, Gwen, Leshawna, how does it feel to be back?"
The goth glared at him.
"It sucks."
Leshawna, everybody's favourite sister with 'tude, seemed to take it better.
"I'm feelin' lucky, so y'all better watch out, 'cause I'm in it to win it!"
While the preppy student president…
"You can't force us to participate again! I refuse! I'm calling my lawyers."
Courtney then proceeded to take out her cell-phone and started to type in the familiar number of her lawyers. With one swift motion, Chris snatched the cellular device out of the brunette's hand and threw it into a cardboard box next to him.
"Nice try, but you're not. Now keep moving you're holding up the introductions."
After Courtney begrudgingly followed the other two girls to where the others were waiting, Chris wasted no time in introducing the last four campers before the boat sped off to fetch the next load.
"The temperamental body-builder herself…Eva!"
The muscled girl glared at the host and growled a little, but otherwise ignored him as she stalked off towards the others.
"Everybody's favourite airhead…Lindsey! As well as her best friend and popular girl wannabe…Beth!"
Lindsey and Beth rushed up to Chris.
"Oh my gosh, Kyle, it's like so amazing to be back!"
"Yea, it's really awesome to be back here! Especially since we're here with all our friends!"
Both Beth and Lindsey exclaimed separately. Though just as they were about to make their way to the others, Lindsey started looking around confusedly.
"Um, Kyle, do you know where Tyler is? I can't find him anywhere."
Chris frowned at the blond.
"It's 'Chris' and no, I haven't because Tyler won't be coming back this season."
Lindsey let out a shocked gasp at receiving the news. Beth put a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder.
"It'll be okay, Brady's not here either but at least we have each-other."
The brunette then proceeded to lead her friend down the dock to the others, leaving Chris alone with the last camper who was currently bawling her eyes out.
"You know her as one half of a freaky duo…Sadie!"
The chubby girl looked at Chris and managed to choke out between the sobs.
"W-why co-couldn't Katie b-be he-here too?!"
Chris smirked.
"Because we thought that it would be way harder for you if she stayed home. Now scram, the next boat is here."
The devastated girl glared at the cocky host through tear-filled eyes, before walking towards the others, while Chris turned back towards the camera.
"And here's the next eleven weirdos! Owen! How's it going?"
"Chris! It's so awesome to be back! It's like so…so…"
"Awesome?"
A snarky and sarcastic voice quipped next to Owen, who failed to acknowledge the sarcasm and instead picked up his little buddy and cheered.
"YEAH!"
Chris leaned towards Noah, who by now knows that struggling is useless when it comes to Owen and has decided to simply read his book while being held by the big guy.
"So, Noah, still as sarcastic as always, I see."
Noah merely scoffed at the host, as Owen headed towards the other campers with him still under one of his arms. They moved out just in time for a certain crazy red-head to crash face first onto the dock before expertly doing a hand-stand and cartwheeling to her feet.
Chris gestured towards where Izzy landed.
"As we can all see, Izzy's back and she already possibly has brain-damage!"
"That felt so good. Can I go again?!"
"No. Now go stand over there with the others."
As Izzy left, Zoey and Mike emerged from the boat, holding hands.
"And here comes the love-birds, Mike and Zoey!"
The two of them merely waved at the camera as they walked towards the others as Chris continued to introduce the rest, glancing at his wrist-watch every now-and-then almost as if he was on a schedule.
"Cameron! You excited for a new season?!"
The smallish -previously isolated in a bubble-boy, pushed his glasses further up his nose as he replied.
"Ever since I signed up for the show I have overcome many obstacles and fears, this season I'm hoping to overcome my fear of Izzy."
After Cam, Jo and Brick were introduced.
"So, Jo, how does it feel to be back?"
Jo cracked her knuckles.
"This time I'm here to win!"
Chris turned to Brick, who saluted.
"How about you, Brick?"
"Sir, it is an honour to be back here, sir!"
Chris chuckled at Brick's formality and pointed the two of them towards the others.
"At ease, dude."
And the last three campers stepped onto the dock as the boat sped off to fetch the last batch of unfortunate souls.
"And here comes Scott, you planning any more unsportsmanlike behaviour this season? Because if you are it will be great for the ratings!"
Scot scoffed at the host as he walked past.
"As if I'd tell you."
Chris grinned into the camera as Scot walked past.
"So, that's a yes then. Next up is a man of few words…actually…more like a man of no words…B!"
"…"
The silent genius gave Chris a wave and proceeded to walk down the dock and stood next to the others.
"Following that very verbal intro…you know her as the only weirdo crazy enough to make friends with a skunk…Dawn! Read any auras recently?"
The moonchild looked at Chris with her usually dreamy-but-penetrating gaze.
"I can sense that you meant that in a mocking way, however I choose not to take offense to that."
And she left just as the boat pulled up for the last time.
"And the final load is finally here! First up is a girl who cares more about her hair than she does about her teammates, as well as Ezekiel's boo…Anne-Maria!"
The tan girl emerged from the boat spraying her hair and stalked up to Chris.
"I am not that weirdo's Boo! And I wouldn't be his boo if you paid me all the cash in the world!"
She quickly marched off towards the others, leaving Chris to announce the rest of the competitors.
"Our next contestant is a victory-obsessed athlete who will feed his team to a giant mutant plant if it means winning…Lightning!"
The athletic boy jumped onto the dock and proceeded to flex his muscles in a victorious and show-offy manner.
"Sha-yes! This year Lightning will win the gold! Sha-bam!"
As he ran towards the other players, a skinny boy in a wizard costume and wearing a fake beard walked onto the dock.
"Ah, Leonard, back for another season I see."
The boy started waving his arms around dramatically.
"Yes, the immense power of my magical crystal ball informed me that luck will be on my side during this quest, for the all-powerful mages has granted me their blessings as well as provided me with a powerful elixir which enables the drinker to-"
Just as it seems that the wizard was really gaining steam on his story, Chris slammed a hand in front of his mouth.
"Yeah, as much as I would not love listening to your tales, we're kinda on a tight schedule so shut it and go stand over there with the others."
As Leonard reluctantly left to join the others, a tall teen with a crazy beard and even crazier hair walked onto the dock.
"And here's a guy that you've all come to know as the human soundboard…Beardo! How does it feel to be back after being voted off first last season?"
"*insert sounds of a crowd cheering*"
"Alright then, go stand with the others. Next is a person who really casts a big shadow for her fellow campers…literally…Jasmine!"
The tall Australian-girl waved to everybody as she stepped off the boat.
"Hello, it's nice to be back."
As Jasmine walked towards her fellow campers, a certain princess-like camper twirled onto the dock, little birds fluttering around her.
"We also have the songbird, Ella, joining us."
Chris said some-what unenthusiastically.
"It is so good to be back
Re-joining my friends once again
Singing a happy tune
Is not enough to express my joy-"
Ella's song would have continued for longer if Chris hadn't interrupted her.
"Stop singing and go over there. We're on a tight schedule here."
Dejected, Ella walked off as Chris once again turned to the cameras as a pair of twins walked off the dock, one of them actively glaring at the other.
"Amy, Samey, how's it going?"
Amy glared at the host
"And the last camper from our previous seasons…you know him as a germaphobe who lost all his hair for a girl only to be crushed when he found out that she already had a boyfriend and was only playing him the entire time and then tried to kill her using an artificial island…Dave! I see your hair grew back."
Dave glared at the cocky host before merely walking off, to tell the truth the whole deal with Sky still hurts a little.
Having successfully ruined the poor guy's day, Chris happily continued to announced the final three contestants.
"It's finally time to announce the newbies! First up…he is a tall dark and broody guy who is rumoured to have messed those who got on his bad side up so much that they disappeared out of fear for their own safety…Quin!
A rather tall guy with black slicked hair and intense grey eyes emerged from the boat. He was wearing a leather jacket over a black shirt and ripped jeans, a skull necklace was hanging from his neck and there was a single piercing in his right ear. All in all he was a pretty intimidating-but handsome guy.
"…"
Chris merely shrugged at the guy's lack of a verbal response as the latter moved to stand next to the others.
"Not one for talking I see."
"Hello, I'm Beth and this is Lindsay. It's nice to meet you."
Quin looked down at the girl who had spoken to him. His gaze made her shrink back a little before he replied.
"Hi."
It was said so bluntly that Beth knew better than to try to pursue conversation any further, but a 'hi' was still more than Chris got.
"The second newbie to join us is a daredevil with a thirst for danger and no regards for safety…Lois!"
A girl with short spiky black hair with red tips jumped off the boat, with a skateboard under her arm. She was wearing a red tank-top and black shorts with worn-out sneakers. There was also a rainbow-coloured sweat-band on her left wrist.
"Sup Chris, I am seriously stoked to be here for this season!"
"Finally! Someone's excited."
"Hey guy's what's up? I'm Lois, my pals call my Lo. It's going to be awesome working with you all!"
Lo excitedly greeted her fellow campers, who in turn (most of them at least) also greeted her, as she moved to stand next to Leshawna.
"The third new face and final contestant…she is an emo middle-child out of eleven who spends all her time at home studying and who prefers reading over making friends…Hermione!"
A girl with dark brown hair with neon green streaks hanging loosely around her face got out of the bus. Her big blue-green eyes moved around as she took in the camp. She wore a loose black hoodie with a dark green skull on it, faded and ripped black jeans and black boots with green laces.
"Hi…it's…nice to be here…"
She walked towards where the others were, avoiding eye-contact.
"Hi I'm Jasmine."
The girl looked up at the tall one who was holding out her hand for a handshake. Accepting the handshake, Mione gave her a hesitant smile.
"I'm Hermione…"
"It's nice to meet you."
"You too..."
They would have talked more but everybody was quietened down by Chris sounding off an airhorn.
"Alright campers, we need to get a promotional picture for this season so, everybody start posing!"
Upon seeing the suspicious glares, he received from everybody, Chris sighed.
"Relax, we made sure that the dock is sturdy enough to support your weight before you got here."
The campers relaxed slightly and posed. Chris glanced at his watch, smiled and said while holding the camera.
"Okay, say Stupidnaymi in…three…two…one!"
"Stupidna-AAAAAAAHHHH!"
The next thing the thirty-six contestants knew, they were in the water soaked while Chris McLean was laughing his but off.
"The dock was sturdy enough to hold your weight, which was boring, so we rigged minor time-bombs to go off. Now go dry off before the sharks get here!"
Needless to say, Scott was the first one out of the water.
My first fic here! *celebration confetti* I hope everyone enjoys this, I welcome reviews and constructive criticism and I am taking suggestions for a better name(seriously ya'll, the camp name sucks, help a chica out!)