A/N: At long last, the wedding chapter! I still couldn't avoid its behemoth size. Believe it or not, this is quite scaled back from what it was. I hope it lives up to expectations. The liturgy is taken from the traditional Church of England/Book of Common Prayer order of service, and Richard's special recitative has been spoken through the ages at Scottish weddings.
On Tumblr I've posted links to photos of Isobel's wedding and engagement rings, the necklace Richard gave her on the eve of their wedding and her dress. I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this chapter, but while I recognize the need for a wedding night and a conclusion I highly doubt they will come this week. Busy, busy with family commitments, not the least of which includes receipt of the master of the first single my husband and I have recorded and will be releasing shortly!
The Bach piece, "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring," makes an encore appearance because it's lovely for wedding processionals/recessionals.
***Updated 1/27/16 - The songs mentioned herein are available on my Spotify. Search for Username: ericajanebarry , Playlist: Worthy and True. They add to the story.***
Love to you all; please tell me your thoughts!
Morning could not come quickly enough for Isobel. She had dozed lightly throughout the night, waking over and over again. Around 2 o'clock, and only because as a nurse and a mother her ears were long attuned to it, she heard George wake for his feeding. She secured her dressing gown around herself and went into the nursery. In a bold departure from tradition, one that Isobel herself had championed and encouraged, Lady Mary slept in the room with her son. The nanny looked in several times each night and would change the baby and bring him to his mother to nurse if he roused during her rounds. Tonight it was Isobel who lifted the little boy from his crib. Even at just four months old, George knew his Gran and snuggled against her immediately. She changed him, raining kisses on his downy head, his perfect, soft cheeks and his tiny hands and feet before swaddling him. With the baby tucked into the crook of one arm, Isobel made her way to Mary's bedside. Smoothing the hair at Mary's temple, she spoke softly. "Darling, I have him ready for you." Mary roused, sleeping as lightly these days as Isobel had tonight.
"Isobel?! Can't you sleep?" She sat up, rubbing her eyes tiredly and arranging the pillows behind her.
Isobel shook her head and smiled. "It's the best kind of sleepless, though. I'm all right."
"Thank you for bringing him to me." Mary settled the baby at her breast and relaxed back against the pillows.
"My pleasure. I remember these exhausting nights. More times than I can count I fell asleep in that position," Isobel indicated Mary's posture with her chin, "and woke hours later to find Matthew either still nursing or nursing again, and my neck feeling as if it were broken!"
"I'm afraid I can relate all too well." Mary smiled the satisfied smile of a nursing mother, and it did Isobel's heart good.
"I'll take him back when he finishes. Or you nod off, whichever happens first. Be comfortable while you have the chance."
"Thank you, Isobel. Will you come and have breakfast in here in the morning? See him first thing when he wakes?"
"I'd love to, Mary. If it's not too much on you, that is."
"Nonsense. I can think of no better start to our day, especially a day so momentous. If you can spare the time, that is."
"For you and George there is always time. And afterwards perhaps Nanny can take him while you help me get dressed?"
"Absolutely. It'll be wonderful to have a reason for joy in this house again, if only for a day." Isobel was the only person in whom Mary would confide regarding her grief. They had shed a flood of tears together. They would continue to do so, likely always to some degree.
"One day at a time, Mary, darling. Some will be easier and others more difficult. You're doing as well as anyone can in our position."
"Am I? I'm not always certain how well I want to be doing, lest it seem I were forgetting him. I can say - and I think you understand what this means coming from me as we know I'm not given to sentimentality - that I'd have joined him by now if not for George ... and you."
They found themselves in tears once more, though Isobel held hers in check for Mary's sake and as not to unsettle George.
"There are still days I feel the same. God knows I did for the longest time when Reginald died. I love you, Mary. You're a daughter in my eyes and I'll always be here for you, no matter what you need."
"You are extraordinary, Isobel. And so was your son." They each cried, quietly but unashamed in the other's company. Mary fell silent and Isobel saw she had dozed off, and so had George. She lifted the baby into her arms.
"Sleep now, love," she said gently to Mary, helping her to lie back down and kissing her forehead.
Isobel settled in the rocking chair with George against her shoulder, patting his back softly and letting her thoughts come, memories full circle of Matthew's birth, of lying in Reginald's arms as she nursed their newborn. Of Reginald's death and the darkness that nearly consumed her, of begging for mercy and God faithfully pulling her up to stand again. Watching with such pride as Matthew graduated from school, then university and law school. Coming to Downton, struggling to find her place in a strange new world. Meeting Richard and beginning to resurrect Isobel the woman. Matthew's near-fatal war injuries; Richard's steadfast presence beside her. Matthew and Mary, so beautiful and happy. Richard's inquiry as to whether she would ever consider marrying again, interrupted before she could answer properly ... but she never stopped thinking about it from that moment onward. The delivery room, and Richard letting her be the one to receive George into the world. Smiling at him in triumph, him smiling back, both of them knowing it was love they felt for one another. Hours later, Richard at her doorstep, she still running on adrenaline from the exhilaration of her grandson's birth. "I am so sorry, Isobel." Five words that changed the course of history, the direction of her life, forever. Begging God to take her instead, or take her home to be with Matthew, while simultaneously asking Richard to save her. His eyes, so beautiful, reassuring her. His arms, always holding her, anchoring her to him and to life and to God, though she wasn't ready to face Him. His lips on hers, breathing the breath back into her lungs, whispering prayers on her behalf. Waking up, fighting through the haze of death and mourning, reaching up to find him and growing. Growing well again, deeper and deeper in love unexpected every day. His proposal and her certainty that she had lived through all she had in order to find this love. Desire, burning up inside her, returned in equal measure, so very soon to be consummated.
Isobel laid George back in his crib and kissed his forehead. She pulled the covers up around Mary and knelt beside the bed in prayer for the daughter of her heart, asking that Mary's story would have a next chapter like her own. She then returned to her room and crawled into bed, reading Richard's letter again, imagining his voice speaking those beautiful words to her. She drifted off and woke, remembered, dreamed and prayed until finally, finally the sun began to rise.
It was still very early when Isobel rose out of bed and padded to the nursery, but she was well acquainted with the hours kept by new mothers and their babies and sure enough, Mary was awake, sitting up in bed with her knees raised and George lying on them.
Mary looked up and smiled as Isobel entered, patting the space next to her on the bed. "Good morning! Come sit. I figured we'd see you soon and I've rung for breakfast. They'll be up in a minute."
Isobel sat down next to Mary and instantly transformed from nervous bride to adoring grandmother. "Good morning to you both! How did he do for the rest of the night?"
"He slept after the feeding you helped with, all the way through to about twenty minutes ago. It was glorious. How did you fare?"
Isobel shrugged. She had expected a difficult night and so it wasn't a surprise. "No differently than I'd anticipated. It's rather wonderful once again to be kept awake by excitement."
"You give me hope, Isobel," Mary said, a tiny smile pulling at her lips.
"My darling girl, as long as there is breath in your body you've always reason to hope."
Their breakfast arrived and the two women took it in shifts, Isobel getting George dressed and playing with him while Mary ate and then reversing roles. It was as she handed George off to his nanny, ready now to dress for the wedding that her stomach flipped with nervous excitement. "I will see you at the church," she whispered to George as she kissed him one last time.
"Mama insists that this all take place in her dressing room, so we've had Anna bring all the clothes there," Mary said, hooking her arm through Isobel's as they left the nursery.
"There's just one thing I need to get from my room," Isobel said, and they stopped on their way so that she could pick up the necklace and along with it Richard's letter.
"What is this?" Mary teased, seeing the love-struck look on Isobel's face.
Isobel smiled and her cheeks flushed. "From Richard. He slipped it into my bag and I found it when I was changing for bed, so the ladies' maids wouldn't have known about it yet. I'll show you once we're all together."
They entered the dressing room to find Edith and Cora there, sipping tea and talking.
"There's the bride!" Cora's eyes smiled as she embraced Isobel and Edith stood to do likewise, kissing her cheek. "I'll just ring for Anna and Baxter."
"I wonder whether ... " Isobel began, and the ladies turned to look at her, "I know that Mrs. Hughes has been given the day off, as she will be our guest today. We've struck up a friendship, she and I, and I wonder if we might ask her to join us now?" Mary's expression registered shock for a split second, but as it was her beloved mother-in-law's day she covered it. Cora and Edith looked at one another and nodded, delighted at the prospect.
"Of course she should join us," Cora agreed. "I'll just telephone down and ask after her."
Anna and Baxter came up moments later, and with them Mrs. Hughes.
"Good morning, Mrs. Crawley ... Mrs. Clarkson ... heavens, I'm not sure what I should call you right now," said Mrs. Hughes with a laugh that was contagious.
"It's Isobel, please! You're my friend! We are Elsie and Isobel in private ... no sense standing on ceremony now!"
Mrs. Hughes glanced at Cora, Mary and Edith, uncertain what was proper, but she was here for Isobel, her friend. "Very well then. Good morning, Isobel! How is our bride?"
"Oh, beside herself, I should think," Mary teased. "I will say she was awfully good company in the middle of the night."
"Didn't you sleep, Isobel?" Cora asked, concerned.
"Some," Isobel said, trying to sound convincing. "As I told Mary, it was a good kind of sleepless. Like a child on Christmas Eve."
"Well now, you've got to be at the church in an hour, my dear, so let's commence." Cora had looked for an opportunity to take charge of some aspect of the wedding, and Isobel had happily given her the gathering of the ladies. Isobel saw it as Cora's attempt to extend the olive branch after the two women had clashed over the running of the convalescent home during the war.
"First things first, I think ... Isobel received a gift from her groom last night, and she said she would show us once we had all gathered," Mary said. It pleased Isobel so greatly to see Mary happy, if only for the day. It wouldn't last and her mourning was far from over, but Isobel had to believe it meant Mary was on an upward slope again.
"Yes, Isobel, our curiosity has been piqued. What is this gift Dr. Clarkson has given you?" Cora asked.
Isobel showed them the necklace and they all made over it, exclaiming at its beauty. She and Mrs. Hughes exchanged a knowing look. "Oh, Isobel, this is exquisite. And deeply meaningful to the two of you, I sense." At the questioning looks of the other ladies, she continued. "This is an infinity knot. In Dr. Clarkson's and my culture, it symbolizes the concept of endlessness. I suspect that it has very special significance to Dr. Clarkson and Isobel, but that's her story to share."
Isobel beamed, only too happy to share the story. "Richard often speaks of our love having no beginning and no end, as though it has always existed, waiting only on time and circumstance. It's more than simply a lovely notion. I can look back on my life now and see that every detail has in some way prepared me for this, for loving him. I'm so very, very blessed, and as I said to Mr. Carson last evening there's such sweetness in finding love now, after both Richard and I have lived and lost and risen from the ashes, so to speak. I appreciate every moment because I know so well what it's like not to have them. That's our story, Richard's and mine. And he's - well, we've both - symbolized it with beautiful jewelry. You'll see what I mean by the time the day is over."
"It's simply lovely, Isobel," Edith gushed. "And I wonder, have you got it all? Something old?"
"Richard's great-grandmother's diamond," Isobel supplied, examining her ring.
"Your necklace is something new," Edith continued, "and as to something borrowed, I have the loveliest pearl earrings that would complement it perfectly, if you'd like."
"Thank you, Edith," Isobel agreed, "that's most gracious of you."
"Anna, would you go find them? Do you know the ones I mean?" Edith asked.
Anna nodded. "The teardrop pearls. Of course, m'lady."
"And as far as something blue ... " Cora picked up a box and handed it to Isobel. She lifted the lid to find an elegant silk negligée in a shade of blue to rival the summer sky. It was sheer, with exquisite lace detailing at the bodice and thin straps. There was a matching robe, and both fell to just above her knees when Isobel held them to herself. "This is obviously for later," Cora explained, "but it still counts!"
Isobel's initial reaction was one of shock. She certainly had no reservations about intimacy with her soon-to-be husband, but it was strange to her to think of others' awareness of that aspect of their relationship. Cora's eyes met Isobel's, and Isobel understood the sisterhood to which they both belonged. Two grieving mothers, each in love with men committed to treasuring their hearts in convalescence.
"Dr. Clarkson loves you so much, Isobel, and I know how desperately you love him. Let him. It will go so far toward your healing."
"Thank you, Cora. It's positively stunning. I suspect this will be what he remembers most fondly about today!" They laughed and Isobel stood, embracing Cora. They squeezed each other's shoulders enduringly as another bit of unspoken communication passed between them.
Edith dressed first, helped Isobel on with her jewelry, and made to leave. Cora nodded to her daughter and Isobel looked on, a question in her eyes. "I've a bit of a ... favor to do for a friend. I'll see you at the church, Isobel. Tom will drive you." She dropped a kiss on Isobel's cheek and, with a peculiar smile, took her leave of the group.
Isobel didn't have much time to ponder Edith's mysterious exit, as Baxter and Anna began to fuss over her hair and makeup and the next thing she knew it she was being helped into her corset ("Yes," she'd sighed at the ladies' surprised looks, "a return to this infernal contraption, just for today. The look of the dress is much improved by it") and then into the dress. She was fastened into it and the room fell silent. The body of the dress was done in a blush silk taffeta with a bodice gathered and finely embroidered. The entirety was overlaid in ivory organza so that the sleeves were sheer, ending at the elbow in an embroidered flourish the same shade as the taffeta layer beneath.
The finished look was both regal and delicate; utterly Isobel, as the ladies concurred with exclamations of, "So elegant," "Perfection," "Divine, Isobel," and, "He won't believe his eyes." While not unpleasant it was odd for Isobel to be the focus of such attention. Her looks had never given her much pause. Without a doubt she enjoyed feeling attractive, as did any woman. Her son had taken great pains to express to her that she was beautiful ... he'd learned that from his father. Indeed, it had been Reginald's assertion that she was a great beauty. But it had been a lifetime since she'd felt like one. Only when love began to blossom between herself and Richard had attending to her looks begun to take on more than routine significance to Isobel again. As she stood in front of the full-length mirror in her wedding dress, flanked by her friends and family, realization struck Isobel. If she were beautiful, love made her so. Her memory recalled the kiss she had shared with Richard in the snow last evening. He makes me beautiful, she thought.
"I am so ready to see him, girls," she said softly to Cora, Mary, Elsie and the ladies' maids as she glanced at the picture made by the group of them in the mirror.
Before Isobel had time to get teary, there came a knock at the open door and Tom Branson appeared in the doorway.
"Tom!" Isobel exclaimed, holding her arms out to him. They embraced and he kissed her cheek before clasping her hands in his, holding her out away from him to take in the sight of her, the mother of his heart on her wedding day.
"Well, aren't you a vision, Mum," he said softly. It had simply slipped out without his knowledge. In his mind - in his heart - she was his mother, he having lost his to influenza while he was exiled from Ireland. It had been a crushing blow to him, his beloved mother dead and him unable to attend her funeral lest he be arrested and executed. Embroiled as he was then in his return to Downton with Lady Sybil, her pregnancy and Lord Grantham's disdain for him and all he stood for, Isobel had been the lone face of kindness to him, a refuge for his grief and anger. As he had been Matthew's best friend, she'd regarded Tom as a surrogate son from the start, and after Sybil's tragic death and then Matthew's they had become inseparable. When Isobel told Tom that she and Richard were to be married and asked if he would give her away, he had wept in appreciation of her friendship and care and responded that nothing would give him greater joy.
As their eyes met, Tom realized his slip and opened his mouth to correct himself, but Isobel squeezed his hands, shaking her head. "Don't you dare apologize," she whispered around the lump in her throat. "You have no idea the gift you've given me. Isn't it exactly what Matthew would have wanted, that you and I look after one another in his absence? It's an honor that you see me as a mother to you and I doubt it's any great secret that I've always thought of you as a son. You do him proud in the way you look after me." She ruffled his hair affectionately just as she'd done to Matthew's countless times. "Now," she said with a watery smile, "stop making me cry! It'll ruin the mystique these girls have spent the morning creating. I believe we've a wedding to get on with!" Isobel hugged the ladies, thanking them for sharing this time with her and left with Tom.
When they arrived at the church, Isobel and Tom were ushered into the vestry so that she would not be seen before the appointed time. Cora would be behind them in just a few minutes to attend to the last-minute details, but while Isobel waited now it seemed the seconds ticked by at a glacial cadence. Never much for sitting still, she began to pace. Tom stood at the door, taking note of Richard's arrival.
He stepped back inside, noted Isobel's current state and chuckled, shaking his head. "Dr. Clarkson has arrived," he announced and she looked up excitedly as if she expected Richard to be standing in the doorway. "Easy, now," Tom said, unable to erase the grin from his face. "Not yet. Just a few more minutes. In all the years we've known each other, never have I seen you like this! Sit down before you wear yourself out."
She stilled but couldn't bring herself to sit. "I can't," she said with a shake of her head. "I know this behavior is quite out of character for me, only I am going mad being apart from him like this! I agreed to all of this," She gestured wildly, indicating the church, "because Richard convinced me it was important that the family be included, but I wanted Gretna Green! I'm sorry, Tom. You must think me terribly impertinent. It's just … I'm ready. I've been ready. It's very girlish of me but I cannot wait to begin my life with him."
Tom put his hands on Isobel's shoulders to keep her still. He pulled out two chairs, one facing the other, and sat down in one of them. She took note of his steady, stubborn but gentle insistence and sat down.
"It's neither impertinent nor girlish," Tom soothed. "Any fool can see that you and Dr. Clarkson are meant for one another. It gives me great hope." Isobel saw the sadness that passed across his eyes as he longed for Sybil.
"Oh, my son," she whispered. It was the first time she had addressed him as such and there was a very fleeting ache that passed over her heart, but in the next instant she saw the clear blue of Matthew's smiling eyes assuring her it was all right; just what he wanted. "You're so young. Time is on your side. You will find love again. Hold on to hope."
It was then that Cora arrived with Isobel's bouquet and Tom's boutonniere. Isobel pinned the white rose to Tom's lapel while Cora fussed over her one last time. Cora stuck her head out the door and turned back to Tom and Isobel. "It's time," she said with joyful solemnity. Cora then went and found her place in the pew next to Lord Grantham, and Tom stood with Isobel at the double doors leading into the sanctuary.
From her position at the piano Edith took note of their entrance and began to play "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring." Isobel was overcome with delight. Adoration for Richard, for his thoughtful overture in including her favorite piece of music in the ceremony that marked their union; gratitude to Edith for her eagerness to perform this "favor for a friend."
Isobel felt pressure at her elbow as Tom indicated they should proceed to the altar.
"It's time to go get your groom!" Tom beamed at her. As she allowed him to lead her forward, Isobel finally caught sight of Richard, and were it not for Tom's steadying arm to lean on her knees would have given out. He was so incredibly handsome! Isobel had seen Richard in black tie countless times before, but this was different. He was dressed for her, and he took her breath away.
Their eyes locked on one another as she approached him, and he sniffed as tears formed at the sight of her. There was not a moment since he had first laid eyes on her that Richard had not been taken with Isobel's beauty. She was a rare gem of a woman whose countenance had grown lovelier with age. All these things being true, however, today she managed to surpass his every notion of her magnificence.
When at last Isobel stood facing Richard, she could no longer resist the urge to speak to him. "Hello, my darling. You look dashing," she whispered, never breaking his gaze.
"Hello, my beautiful bride," came Richard's equally soft reply. "I love you."
Tears welled up in both their eyes. "And I love you. So much I can't contain it," she confessed as their eyes smiled.
Reverend Travis began to speak. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and in the face of this congregation, to join together this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God himself, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church; which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence, and first miracle that he wrought, in Cana of Galilee, and is commended in Holy Writ to be honorable among all men; and therefore is not by any to be enterprised, nor taken in hand, unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly; but reverently, discreetly, soberly, and in the fear of God, duly considering the causes for which Matrimony was ordained.
"This is the way of life, created and hallowed by God, that Richard and Isobel are now to begin. They will each give their consent to the other; they will join hands and exchange solemn vows, and in token of this they will give and receive a ring. Therefore, on this their wedding day we pray with them, that, strengthened and guided by God, they may fulfill his purpose for the whole of their earthly life together.
"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"
Tom gave Isobel's elbow a light squeeze and they exchanged smiles. "I do," he answered, and as he placed Isobel's hand in Richard's he kissed her cheek, whispering, "I love you, Mum."
"I love you, son," she whispered to him just before he turned to take his seat.
Reverend Travis continued.
"Richard, will you take Isobel to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and protect her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?"
"I will," came Richard's confident reply, and he squeezed Isobel's hand.
"Isobel, will you take Richard to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and protect him, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?"
More certain of her promise than she had ever been at any moment in her life, Isobel answered, "I will."
"Richard and Isobel, I now invite you to join hands and make your vows, in the presence of God and His people."
Richard stepped just a little closer to Isobel and took both of her hands in his. She watched him draw a steadying breath and knew he was trying to hold his tears at bay.
"I, Richard Egan Clarkson, take thee, Isobel Fiona Crawley, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance."
This is real, Isobel thought. This is more than just a beautiful dream. She required several deep breaths in order to stave off her tears, but then she spoke with certainty.
"I, Isobel Fiona Crawley, take thee, Richard Egan Clarkson, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance." She then watched, wide-eyed, as he pulled her wedding band from his pocket and began to place it on her finger.
"With this ring, I thee wed. With my body, I thee worship." Without pausing, he managed to look at her with the fullness of desire plainly visible in his eyes. "With all my worldly goods, I thee endow." Richard slid the ring fully into place and then, just when she expected Reverend Travis' pronouncement, he spoke again, turning to face the congregation.
"Reverend Travis has been kind enough to accommodate a slight modification in the order of the service," he explained to the congregation. "There are certain aspects of my Scottish heritage that Isobel and I hold very dear. She had not the slightest inkling that this would take place, so, without further ado, darling … here's to you."
The congregation expressed their delight at his sentiment and Richard turned back to Isobel once more.
"My Isobel Fiona," he began, "you cannot possess me, for I belong to myself.
But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give.
You cannot command me, for I am a free person.
But I shall serve you in those ways you require.
And the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.
"I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night." Another heated look passed between them at this. He continued.
"And the eyes into which I smile in the morning.
I pledge to you the first bite from my meat, and the first drink from my cup.
I pledge to you my living and dying, equally in your care.
"I shall be a shield for your back and you for mine.
I shall not slander you, nor you me.
I shall honor you above all others, and when we quarrel we shall do so in private,
And tell no strangers our grievances.
"This is my wedding vow to you.
This is the marriage of equals."
The congregation erupted in applause and Isobel just looked at him in wonder, no longer attempting to mask her tears of joy. When the applause died down, Reverend Travis concluded.
"Forasmuch as Richard and Isobel have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth either to other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving of a ring, and by joining of hands; I pronounce that they be man and wife together, In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."
As Richard and Isobel turned to walk out of the church, she laced her fingers through his. Edith began once again to play "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring." They reached the exit doors and paused. Alone together for the first time as husband and wife, Richard drew Isobel tight against him and kissed her with the full measure of love and longing.
"My God, Richard," Isobel gasped. "You're my husband!"
"And you, precious Isobel, are my wife! I love you, Mrs. Clarkson." She wept at his pronouncement, tears of unspeakable joy at this most glorious of new beginnings.
"I love you so," she whispered against his lips, kissing him longingly.