Summary: AU: Stanford Era: "Dean … Sammy's in trouble." A late night phone call sends Dean Winchester and long-time friend, Caelan Hagan in a desperate search to find Sam before the unthinkable happens; uncovering lies and secrets involving the youngest Winchester, that have been years in the making.
Warnings: Violence, swearing, physical abuse, torture, implied adult themes.
Disclaimer: I don't own the supernatural characters.
Author's Note: Just another possibility on why Sam left for Stanford. Hope you enjoy.
If there is anything I have left out or you are still unsure about, please feel free to message me. You never know, I may have left it unintentionally unresolved for a reason (possibly a sequel).
Special Note: Thanks to Kas3y, kandilyn and Pie Love Luci for your kind words. Here's another chapter just for all you guys who have taken the time out to read this story and to all the people who have this story on their alerts or have put it on their favourite lists. Thanks. It means a lot. Thanks to everyone for their patience and continued interest.
DEMON SPAWN: THE PHONE CALL
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
A deathly silence filled the air after Sam's solemn declaration, Dean turning to shoot Caelan a worried, perplexed look as Caelan unconsciously tightened his hold upon the young man's shoulder even as he was shaking his head in denial, frowning at Sam in bewilderment.
"Nope. I'm not buying it runt," Caelan announced after several long seconds of tense silence. "Peter Stewart tried to sell me that lie as well, but I know for a fact that you had nothing to do with my Dad's death."
Caelan paused to take in Sam's increasingly pale complexion, his hazel eyes darting around guiltily and it wasn't until the kid let out a hiss of pain that Caelan realized just how tightly he was squeezing the young man's shoulder.
Caelan instantly loosened his tight grip, his checks flushing red with his own guilt, noticing Dean glaring at him darkly out of the corner of his eyes.
Caelan swallowed down his contradicting emotions when it came to talking about his Dad's death. Even though Caelan didn't want to talk about it, he had to get it through the youngest Winchester's stubborn head that he was not to blame for what happened to his Dad eleven years ago.
"Sammy," Caelan began, his touch soothing now, his tone gentled as he captured the young man's wandering gaze with his own and held them in place. "You were just a kid when Dad died. He died while on a hunt. How the hell can you think that you're to blame for that?"
Sam blinked rapidly at Caelan's innocent question, knowing that Caelan genuinely wanted to know why he would think something like that.
Sam hadn't meant to blurt it out like that. He hadn't meant to jump so quickly from John Winchester logic, straight to the horrible truth. But, now that he had, Sam's only option was to roll with it. Because Sam knew by the look on Caelan's face that he wouldn't be able to get out of this without giving the older Hunter some kind of answer he would be satisfied with.
"Because I am." Sam replied so softly that Caelan had to strain to hear the words, Sam biting upon his bottom lip in a nervous, unconscious gesture that Caelan hadn't seen the kid use since he turned thirteen-years old.
"I'm sorry Caelan, I really am. And although I didn't actually kill your Dad with my own two hands … I may as well have since it's because of me that he died."
Caelan's frown became more pronounced, the youngest Winchester's words not making any sense to him what-so-ever; and Caelan had to wonder if the kid had hit his head too hard and was now suffering from some weird form of concussion.
"So you see now why you should take the deal, right Caelan? You understand why you should save yourself and –"
Gently Caelan squeezed Sam's shoulder once more in order to meet Sam's eyes as well as to stop the insane ramblings the kid seemed to be uttering. "Easy runt, take a breath, okay?" Caelan murmured, surprised to find Sam trembling slightly under the grip of the hand upon Sam's shoulder and he became more concerned than before.
"I'm sorry kid, but I still don't understand why you should feel any ounce of guilt over my Dad's death. Whatever these assholes have told you … it's not true. You need to stop blaming yourself for this right now and accept the fact that I am not going to leave you behind, nor am I going to accept that damn stupid deal."
Sam looked more upset than comforted by Caelan's words, which only caused the Hunter more worry, making brief eye contact with the older Winchester sibling in the hopes of finding out what the hell was going on with Sam.
But the shell-shocked look upon Dean's face, suggested to Caelan that Dean had no idea of what his brother was going on about either.
"You don't understand!" Sam's voice rose higher in distress, becoming more agitated in his desire to make Caelan see that he was the one responsible for Caelan's Dad's death … and not some stupid hunt or werewolf. "It was all a ploy Caelan, a trick to get me alone so that they could …" Sam paused, frustrated with himself because he couldn't explain it properly.
Sam took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm himself slightly, even as his body started to shake with light tremors of apprehension and fear because he had no way of knowing how his brother would react once he was told the awful truth.
Sam cautioned himself not to feel upset, hurt or insulted when Caelan eventually pushed away from him, the brown eyes that had only shown Sam love, affection and kindness, now filled with disgust, horror and hatred.
Sam knew that he would accept all of that – hell, he'd even accept a punch or two of anger from Caelan for causing his Dad's death – as long as it spared his brother's life, Sam knew that he would learn to accept it.
Sam stood up straighter, his hands clenched into fists at his sides – despite the pain that radiated from his left shoulder all the way down his arm at that movement – a worried, desperate look in his eyes, wondering if this would be the last time he would ever see Caelan ever again.
That thought stung, but Sam pushed it back with a determined strength that he didn't know he possessed at the moment because of how crappy he felt and proceeded to tell Caelan the truth about everything he knew pertaining to Connor Hagen's death eleven years ago.
"You're right. I was just a kid; ten-years old in fact, but … it's still my fault that your Dad is dead. I honestly don't remember anything after Dad and Dean were … lured away from me on purpose on the pretence of other Hunter's needing them for a hunt as extra back-up – "
A sharp gasp from Dean had both Caelan and Sam turning to look at Dean. "Sammy, what are you saying?" Dean asked, paling slightly at his younger brother's words. "Someone wanted us gone?" He felt sick to think that he and his Dad had unknowingly left his baby brother alone, defenceless and vulnerable while the two of them were off chasing …
"Oh God!" Dean moaned, suddenly remembering that by the time he and his Dad had arrived to help the other Hunters with the hunt – it had taken them hours to reach their destination – only to be told that it had been taken care of; an apology for making them drive out all of this way for nothing and a promise from them to help lend a hand to the Winchesters if they ever needed it.
"We were fucking played! Those fuckers … but why Sammy? It doesn't make any damn sense as to why they would do this."
Sam could hear the hurt, despair and guilt within his big brother's voice, knowing that this was nothing compared to the hurt he would be feeling once he found out that Sam had gotten their mother killed.
"To get me alone." Sam answered honestly and simply, offering his brothers a sympathetic smile before continuing. "It was a … trial run, an experiment to see how I would cope with the drugs and … that's not important right now.
The point I'm trying to make is that when your Dad came to check on me, I wasn't alone and he … saw things he shouldn't have." Sam swallowed hard, desperately wanting to look away from Caelan's penetrating gaze, but knowing that Caelan wouldn't believe him if he looked away or hid like a frightened child.
Sam would accept whatever punishment Caelan deemed necessary for Sam's part in causing his Dad to be murdered, the least Sam could do was to look the man in the eyes and tell it to him straight.
"So, in order to keep him quiet and to keep their secret, they … organized to have him killed. I'm so sorry Caelan, it's my fault your Dad's dead. If he hadn't come to check up on me that night, he would probably still be alive today. So you see … your Dad's dead because of me."
SW CH DW CH SW DW SW CH DW CH SW DW SW
Caelan dropped his hand from the youngest Winchester's shoulder and took a step back, too stunned to see the look of hurt and misery upon Sam's face at what he viewed to be Caelan's rejection of him.
He knew.
All of this time, Caelan had suspected that something had been off about his Dad's death. Caelan knew that there had to be more to it than Connor becoming sloppy in a hunt and being killed by a damn werewolf. His Dad had been too good of a Hunter to become distracted and taken down by a mere werewolf.
Caelan should feel vindicated that after all of these years of gut instinct telling him that there had to be foul play involved, he'd finally been proven correct by Sam's … confession. But all Caelan felt at the moment was stunned disbelief and a rising anger.
Sam had known what had happened to his Dad and hadn't said anything? In all of these years … why hadn't he said something? If he had, maybe Caelan could have tracked the son of a bitch down who had planned his Dad's death and made them suffer … like he had suffered … like his Dad had suffered …
A burning, white hot rage descended upon him, reacting on primal instinct instead of reasonable logic, filled with grief, guilt, anger and hurt, an inhuman guttural growl ripped from Caelan, shoving the youngest Winchester so hard that Sam stumbled back into the exit doors, a distinct sound of cracking glass could be heard as Caelan descended upon the helpless young man, determined to take his frustrations out on the boy who had been partly responsible for his Dad's death.
Caelan reached Sam in three quick strides, grabbed him by the shirt with both hands and almost pulled Sam off his feet, violently shaking the youngest Winchester in his fury and grief, not aware of Sam's broken off gasp of pain or the terror that now lined the young man's face.
"You knew?!" Caelan's voice raised a couple of notches, the pain and betrayal easy to hear within his tone as he shook Sam like a rag-doll. "All of this time and you knew what happened to him? Why didn't you say anything? If you had said something I might have been able to catch the bastard responsible or maybe even … saved his life!"
Caelan swallowed hard, the grief overwhelming his anger now, tears gathering within his dark brown eyes. "Answer me!" Caelan half-demanded, half-pleaded, practically screaming in the young man's face now, his body shaking with barely controlled rage. "Why the fuck didn't you say anything?!" Each word was punctuated with Caelan slamming Sam against the glass door, the glass around Sam squealing in protest. "God damn it Sam, answer me!"
The violent shove from Caelan had been a surprise; being shaken and yelled at was a surprise; but not being hit … that was something Sam had expected to happen when his friend's – brother's – rage had exploded as he held Sam up against the glass door, but so far, Caelan had resisted the urge to punch Sam.
Sam would have allowed Caelan to hit him and not fought back. As it was, Sam was offering no resistance to Caelan's almost out of control grief and anger, knowing that he deserved this … and more. Because of him, Caelan's Dad had been killed and nothing Sam did or said would ever make that right.
Dean had started forward when Caelan had shoved Sam into the door, but a quick shake of the head from Sam had stopped him. Dean felt helpless, watching both of his brothers pain – Caelan's pain caused through anger and grief; Sam's pain caused through shame and guilt – the array of emotions passing over Sam's face, caused Dean's heart to clench and tighten painfully, Caelan's voice fill of grief and unresolved anger caused Dean to take an involuntary step forward in order to comfort and help ease his pain.
But the minute Caelan raised his clenched fist with the intent to strike his helpless, defenceless, in shock and in pain little brother, was the moment that Dean ignored Sam's warning look to stay back and stepped forward, placing himself in between Caelan and his brother.
"Back off Caelan," Dean warned, his green eyes narrowed, his voice low, just a notch above his dangerously lethal tone.
Caelan blinked, seemingly confused by why Dean had stepped in between him and the young man who was responsible for his Dad's death. "Dean, why … you heard what he said!" Caelan defended his actions, trying to reason with a clearly pissed off Dean Winchester.
"I'm sorry Caelan," Sam said softly, mournfully.
"Sorry?!" Caelan shrieked. "You're fucking sorry? Sorry's not going to bring my Dad back!" Caelan yelled, desperate to reach the young man behind Dean and –
"Enough!" Dean placed his hand upon Caelan's upper chest and held his increasingly aggressive friend in place. "You back the hell off Caelan, now! Or I will make you back off!" Dean held Caelan's eyes; his green eyes growing darker, letting Caelan see the intention of his words and how serious he was. "Back off," Dean repeated for a third time, seeing a look of understanding enter Caelan's eyes at Dean's unvoiced threat.
"But –" Caelan swallowed hard, not understanding why Dean would want to hurt him. Caelan was so far into his rage and grief that he failed to see that it was the kid that he had sworn to protect with his life that he was now trying to unleash his anger upon.
Dean moved closer into Caelan's space, their faces just inches apart, the protective older brother instincts flaring to life when he heard a muffled sob from his kid brother behind him. "If you were anyone else Caelan, I'd be beating you senseless right now. So, if you don't want this to go any further … I'd back the hell off right now and leave my brother alone!"
"Hey, c'mon Hags, let's go over here a minute, okay?"
Gently, Caleb lead his distraught, confused and grief-stricken friend away from the Winchester siblings, sharing a look with Dean to let Dean know that he would handle Caelan and calm him down while Dean could concentrate on his younger brother.
Dean gave a brief nod of agreement, the muscle in his jaw twitching violently as Caleb led Caelan away and Dean fought to calm down so that he could help to console his upset little brother.
Damn, this was such a mess! Who would have thought that Caelan would turn on Sammy like that?
CH SW DW DW SW CH SW DW DW SW CH SW DW
Dean took another couple of calming deep breaths, seeing Caelan rip himself out of Caleb's grasp, still fuming with anger, Caleb talking quietly but softly so as not to be overheard by the goon patrol who were watching the altercation with stony expressions; some of them smirking, others tightening their grips upon their weapons.
Later, Dean vowed that he would have his own private chat with Caelan and remind him how he felt about anyone who put their hands on his baby brother like Caelan had. No one had the right to do that … not his father, not him and definitely not Caelan who should fucking know better!
Dean's eyes skimmed over the armed goon patrol, his gaze coming to rest upon the delighted, gleeful grin of old man Stewart. Oh yeah, Dean bet he was enjoying this show. Watching as brothers turned upon each other because of something – Dean was sure – this son of a bitch had a hand in.
He just knew, deep in his gut that somehow Roger Stewart had some hand to play in Caelan's Dad's death. Which also meant that he had some part to play with Sam being used as some kind of lab rat, being drugged and …
Dean closed his eyes, refusing to delve deeper into those thoughts. His imagination was already active enough – especially when it came to his younger brother being hurt – without adding those thoughts into the mix.
Dean knew Sam. And while Sam had said things that Dean hadn't liked – like being drugged and the two older Winchesters being lured away so that Sam was alone – it was also the unsaid things Sam hadn't said that had Dean's big brother instincts screaming at him that something bad had happened to his kid brother that night.
Because it begged the question to be asked; what the hell had Connor Hagen seen that night that was so bad that people were willing to murder him because of it?
Dean shuddered, violently pushing those thoughts aside to be dealt with later, glaring at old man Stewart so hard that the old man's wide grin dissolved. Dean's lips curled up into a pleased smirk of his own, glad that he could knock the old codger down a peg with just a look before he squared his shoulders and spun around to face his younger brother.
Sam stood there, head bowed down, his long fringe covering his expressive hazel eyes, hands clenched into fists so tightly that Dad wouldn't be surprised if the kid drew blood; his broad shoulders shaking and Dean knew … he just knew that Sammy was crying.
Well … shit!
"Sammy," Dean approached his brother cautiously, knowing from years of experience that Sam hated to be caught out having any sort of emotional break – especially when he was crying like a girl – because of their Dad's anti-emotional views.
"Crying will get you nowhere son. The things we hunt won't give you a break because you're upset, angry or frustrated. Emotions like this will cause you to become weak or killed. You need to become strong … men … Hunters … you're too old to crying like a girl. It's time for you to act like a man now …"
Dean could recall his father's words to Sam not long after Sam had turned eleven. God, sometimes Dean despised that man.
Sammy should never be made to feel ashamed of his emotions. It wasn't his fault that he wore his heart on his sleeve, that he felt things more easily, sympathized and empathized with people.
This was pure Sammy, this was the essence of his brother's core and Dean sometimes envied the way that Sam could give into his emotions and not bottle them up, letting those feelings fester away at you until you became hard, bitter and cold. Sam, as much as he tried to push back his emotions and be exactly like his father and big brother, there were times when it became too much for the kid and he had to let it out somehow.
Dean had always allowed his brother to vent anyway that Sammy needed to and sometimes … Dean was able to vent right along with his baby brother.
Dean smiled fondly at the memories, knowing that it was because of Sam that Dean's heart wasn't as cold, hard or unfeeling as it could have been if Sam had never been in his life to help Dean smooth off the rough edges.
A hyper-emotional Sammy had never been John Winchester's forte, but Dean Winchester knew exactly how to combat his emotionally distraught younger brother, having had twenty-one years' worth of experience.
Without stopping to think about it too hard and knowing his no chick-flick rule was about to be tossed for the next foreseeable future, Dean placed a hand upon the back of Sam's neck and pulled him forward, Dean wrapping his arms around his shaking little brother, holding him tightly, securely, protectively within his embrace, whispering soothing, calming reasoning words into the boy's ear.
It was no use trying to talk to Sam when he was like this. Dean had to calm him down first, get him back onto even ground before the kid would listen to a word that Dean had to say.
Dean wasn't normally a patient man, but when it came to Sammy, he had all of the patience in the world. No matter how ridiculous he looked or how long it took, Dean would hold his younger brother in his arms until the kid had calmed down enough where the tremors within the kid's body didn't feel as if it would shake his whole body apart.
"It's okay Sammy, I've got you." Dean soothed, squeezing the back of Sam's neck in a reassuring, comforting gesture. "Everything's going to be okay little brother, you'll see. Trust me kiddo, nothing's going to happen to you while I'm around. I promise."
TBC