Summary: AU: Stanford Era: "Dean … Sammy's in trouble." A late night phone call sends Dean Winchester and long-time friend, Caelan Hagan in a desperate search to find Sam before the unthinkable happens; uncovering lies and secrets involving the youngest Winchester, that have been years in the making.
Warnings: Violence, swearing, physical abuse, torture, implied adult themes.
Disclaimer: I don't own the supernatural characters.
Author's Note: Just another possibility on why Sam left for Stanford. Hope you enjoy.
If there is anything I have left out or you are still unsure about, please feel free to message me. You never know, I may have left it unintentionally unresolved for a reason (possibly a sequel).
Special Note: Thanks to Kas3y and Pie Love Luci for your kind words. Here's another chapter just for all you guys who have taken the time out to read this story and to all the people who have this story on their alerts or have put it on their favourite lists. Thanks. It means a lot. Thanks to everyone for their patience and continued interest.
DEMON SPAWN: THE PHONE CALL
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Caelan hadn't taken more than half a dozen steps away from the Winchesters before Caelan planted his feet firmly on the ground, swinging his arm wildly as he ripped out of Caleb's grasp. "Get off of me!" Caelan growled, standing toe to toe with his friend, feelings of deception, anger and grief rolling through him.
"You need to calm down Hags," Caleb told his friend, holding out his hands in a placating, soothing, calming gesture.
"Calm down?!" Caelan seethed. "How the how do you expect me to calm down when … Sam just admitted that he's responsible for my Dad's death and Dean … he's standing there, judging me, holding me back from finding the answers that I desperately need.
I considered them my family Caleb, and now …" Caelan swallowed hard, a feeling of betrayal settling over him. "I loved them like brothers, only to learn that he's – Caelan gestured wildly toward Sam, his expression twisted in disgust and disbelief – been holding back on me for all of these years.
He knew and he never said anything. Do you know how that makes me fucking feel? I'm a chump Caleb. I was foolish enough to let myself care about them and now look what that's cost me! All of these years and –"
"Caelan, stop it!" Caleb ordered, his tone hard as he placed his hands upon Caelan's shoulders and stared directly into his friend's eyes. "Are you even listening to yourself man? You sound like a whinny, bratty teenager.
Get your shit together and think about this rationally and logically. Take a good hard look at what Sam actually said and read between the fucking lines man. Because this – how you're behaving and acting – that's not you!"
Caleb shook his head in disappointment when Caelan just scowled at him, glaring at him exactly like he had done as a child when he couldn't get his own way.
Caleb let out an agitated breath, wondering the best way to get through to his emotionally distraught friend, who was incapable of listening to reason right now, or thinking objectively about this matter considering that it concerned his dead father. "Okay Caelan, I get that you're pissed and you feel like you've been betrayed right now but … is this really the time to get into it? Here we are, surrounded by armed men and you want to pick a fight with the Winchesters?"
"No," Caelan pouted, obstinately shaking his head. "I don't want to pick a fight with the Winchesters …"
"Well, good. It's about fucking time." Caleb breathed a sigh of relief, finally thinking that his friend was beginning to return to the guy that he knew and admired instead of this emotionally raw furious stranger that Caleb didn't even recognize. Because acting like this in front of the enemy … was another classic rookie mistake that John Winchester would no doubt kick their asses for later if he ever found out about it, and was something that Caelan – who was normally as cool as a cucumber and didn't let anything or anyone faze him – would never willingly allow himself to give into.
" … I just want to get some answers from the son of a bitch who's responsible for my Dad's death."
Caleb saw Caelan's eyes narrow darkly, glaring across the room toward the Winchesters where the two brothers were embraced in a fierce hug, which was something Caleb had never seen before … at least, not in front of prying eyes. Sam mustn't be doing so well.
Seeing the younger Winchester clinging onto his older brother as if his life depended upon it, the distraught, anguished look that Caleb briefly caught before Sam buried his head into his brother's neck, and the way that Caelan was staring at the boy so hatefully, as if he wanted to kill him right there on the spot, caused something inside of Caleb's normally cool, calm demeanour to snap.
CH SW DW CH SW DW CH SW DW CH SW DW CH
Sam had known it would hurt, but he didn't think that it would hurt this much. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Sam had thought that Caelan would absolve Sam of his actions, he had thought that Caelan would tell Sam that it hadn't been his fault because Sam had been just a kid and had no control over the actions of crazy me.
But Caelan hadn't absolved Sam, hadn't forgiven him or reassured him; instead, everything Sam feared would happen, was happening. The look in Caelan's eyes when he looked at Sam had caused Sam to freeze on the spot, his heart falling down into the pit of his stomach, because of the amount of hurt, anger and betrayal he could see within his brother's dark brown eyes.
Sam clung onto the back of his brother's shirt in desperation, the tears falling freely as he buried his head against his older brother's neck. God, if it hurt this much to have Caelan reject him, how in the hell would it feel when Dean rejected him, abandoning him and his fate to Mr. Stewart's custody, handing him over this organisation who would do God knows what to him?
"It's okay Sammy, I've got you. Everything's gonna be all right little man; I'll make sure of it." Dean's deep timbre voice spoke to him softly, one of his hands rubbing Sam's back in a calming, soothing gesture, while his other hand gripped the back of Sam's neck in a familiar, reassuring gesture, offering Sam all of the brotherly support that he could allow himself to give while in the company of others.
Almost as if that thought was the key to reigning in Sam's emotional turmoil, he suddenly became very aware that they were not alone and he was being held in his brother's arms like a damn six-year old who had lost their lollypop or broken one of his favourite toys, while surrounded by armed men who were googling at them, smirking at them, revelling in the fact that the four Hunters were now at odds with each other.
Damn it!
Sam was a Hunter and a Winchester … the two things you did not show while facing off with your enemy – fighting amongst yourselves and giving into your emotions, whether that be fear, anger or heartbroken misery (according to John Winchester's Code of Conduct when dealing with supernatural or human adversaries.) – was now the two things that Sam was displaying and had given into while in enemy territory. His Dad would be so disappointed in him right now.
Sam hadn't revealed what he had to Caelan to cause disharmony amongst them or to make Caelan so wild with grief, hate and anger that he had let his guard down, forgetting where they were, making himself vulnerable, an easy target to the enemy or to provide these … men with a show; he had done it so that Caelan may live; so that Caelan could understand that Sam's life was not above anyone else's and so they would take the damn deal and save themselves!
Sam gave his brother one last squeeze before he stifled his sobs and gently pulled away from his brother's embrace, locking down his emotions, a smile wobbling upon his lips, trying to reassure his concerned older brother.
"I'm okay now," Sam said, releasing his brother fully, standing upon his own shaky legs, determined to not let his fragile emotional wall break again – at least, not while they were surrounded. He would wait until the other three Hunters had left him and he was alone with his own thoughts before he allowed himself to fall apart again.
Showing the enemy this weakness was unacceptable! And Sam silently vowed that he wouldn't be giving the enemy any extra advantage by watching him fall apart. No, if they wanted to break him … they were going to have to work for it!
SW DW CH SW DW CH SW DW CH SW DW CH SW
"You stupid, arrogant, selfish son of a bitch!" Caleb whirled back toward his so-called friend, the livid look upon Caleb's face caused Caelan to step back in surprise. "You have known the Winchesters for how many years? You know what kind of people they are; honourable and loyal almost to a fault … hell, you practically helped Dean raise that boy and now you want to accuse him of getting your Dad killed?!"
"But you heard – "
"Yeah, I heard what Sam said." Caleb growled, interrupted Caelan before he could resume his pathetic and intolerable excuses about why he was being so damn hard on the youngest Winchester sibling. "You loved your Dad, I get it. You two were close, the only family you had, but your Dad loved those boys as well."
Caleb paused, trying to reign in his anger so that he didn't say something that he would regret, but then realized to hell with it. Caelan was acting like such a bratty child that maybe he deserved to hear the cold-hearted truth.
"Instead of acting like a jealous, needy child who's trying to avenge his Dad's death, you should feel proud … he died trying to protect Sam Winchester … a boy you have known for most of your life. Your Dad considered John Winchester like a brother and those boys like his flesh and blood nephews.
Hell, you three boys grew up as if you were actually blood related siblings. You know how protective Dean is of Sam; how protective you are of both Sam and Dean. Tell me Caelan, do you really want Dean Winchester as your enemy? You hurt his kid brother and Dean won't stop until he nails you."
"Maybe," Caelan mumbled sullenly. "But I made a promise to my Dad to avenge him … and that's what I'm going to do, no matter who I have to go through to do it." He vowed, his expression hardening, his dark brown eyes fill of righteous fury.
"You still don't get it, do you Caelan?" Caleb clucked his tongue, bitterly disappointed with his friend. "Okay, let me put it to you in a way that will hopefully get through that thick skull of yours. You say that this is all about you avenging your Dad's murder, honouring his memory and all of that noble crap that we Hunters tell ourselves when we seek out our justice or revenge … but I'm telling you man, your Dad would not want you to do this. You think he'd be proud about what you're doing? Sorry Hags, I have to disagree with you on this one.
Your Dad was a proud and honourable man … what you're doing, how you're acting toward one of your own brothers … using your crusade, your vendetta as an excuse to hurt people, Hunters, family … your Dad wouldn't be proud of you Caelan, he'd be disappointed, disgusted, disgraced – "
Caelan frowned at Caleb's words, becoming more pissed off the longer Caleb talked. How dare Caleb tell him what his Dad would want or didn't want! Caleb didn't know his Dad … not like Caelan knew him!
Caelan's jaw clenched tightly, anger fuelling his actions now and before he even realized what he was doing, his fist had shot out and caught Caleb in the jaw, making Caleb's head snap back, cutting off his words once and for all.
"You shut your fucking mouth!" Caelan hissed, his voice low, deepening with rage. "You don't know anything about my Dad Caleb, and you have no right to lecture me about vendettas when you got your own family killed because of your crusade for vengeance and justice."
"Well … okay then," Caleb wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand before locking eyes with Caelan, Caleb's half-smile not reaching his light brown eyes, his features twisted into a dark, menacing look as he stared Caelan down, the anger and rage he tried to keep under lock and key suddenly resurfacing at Caelan's words and actions.
"This how you wanna play it Hags? Well, okay then, let's play!" Caleb's lips quirked up into a demented grin before his own fist shot out, catching Caelan on the chin, almost knocking the Hunter on his ass.
"Come on Caelan; show me what you've got!" Caleb taunted, no longer caring about the armed men around them or the mission that had brought him here. All he cared about was teaching his friend a lesson he'd never forget.
CH DW SW CH DW SW CH DW SW CH DW SW CH
Dean eyed Sam carefully, keeping one of his hands on Sam's uninjured shoulder to offer him comfort, support and a little steadying hand, noticing how his brother swayed slightly from side to side.
Sam was definitely putting on a good show of acting like he was back in control and back on even ground; and if Dean didn't know Sam as well as he did, he might even be fooled by his brother's act … but Sam's too expressive hazel eyes gave the kid away; showing too much fear, pain – both from Caelan's actions and words, and his own obvious injuries – as well as guilt and a touch of hesitancy.
But, like any good brother would do, Dean decided to let that go, knowing that it wasn't the best time or place to get into the kid's feelings right now. Instead, Dean ran a critical eye up and down his brother's body, searching for any new injuries the little tussle with Caelan might have caused.
"Are you hurt Sammy? Did Caelan hurt you?" Dean asked, holding his brother's gaze in place, letting Sam know that this was not the time to deceive him, redirect him or shrug off the injuries he might have sustained because of Caelan's furious outrage.
Sam's eyes widened slightly before he shook his head. "No, of course not." He snorted indignantly.
Dean raised his eyebrows, his gaze penetrating and drilling into the younger man, which had Sam squirming a little under Dean's intense gaze, a faint blush colouring his checks.
"Well … back's a bit sore," Sam amended ruefully, bitting upon his bottom lip self-consciously. "But that could be cause through anything. A lot of … things have happened today or maybe the pain meds have worn off and –"
Dean waved away Sam's feeble attempt at excuses as he discreetly lifted Sam's shirt, peering at his brother's back, trying to locate the source of Sam's discomfort.
"Dean, stop it!" Sam gasped, his checks going a deeper shade of red, mortified that Dean was treating him as if he was five-years old instead of his actual age of twenty-one. He was a man now who no longer required his brother's constant monitoring and care. If Sam said he was fine, Dean should believe him and not embarrass him like this in front of the fucking enemy!
"Quit squirming Sam," Dean warned, his green eyes darkening with fury when he noticed that a few of Sam's bandages were beginning to soak through with fresh blood.
Damn it, Caelan must have reopened a couple of Sam's deeper whip wounds when he slammed Sam up against the glass door like that.
"I'm gonna fucking kill him!" Dean muttered darkly, a long string of curse words leaving his mouth at the sight of new bruises beginning to form upon his baby brother's back. Caelan should have fucking known better than to manhandle his injured brother like that!
"It's okay Dean," Sam stuttered on a gasp as Dean's fingers gently probed one of the new bruises that was forming upon Sam's back. "I deserved it for having caused his Dad's death."
Dean paused in his gentle examination, the edge of self-loathing, disgust and guilt within his brother's voice not going unnoticed by Dean.
Dean cursed under his breath, hating the fact that Caelan – someone Dean had trusted to protect his brother almost as much as himself – had caused Sam to sound so defeated. Nobody had the right to make his brother sound like this, and this was just another reason why Dean was determined to have "the talk" with Caelan about why no one got to hurt his baby brother without feeling Dean Winchester's wrath.
Dean lowered Sam's shirt back into place, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly before he saw Sam's eyes glued to the ground, too ashamed and embarrassed to look Dean in the eye.
Dean grasped Sam's chin in his hand and forced Sam's head up to meet his eyes. "You. Are. Not. Responsible. For. Caelan's. Dad's. death." Dean said the words slowly and deliberately, hoping that it would stick in his stubborn little brother's head.
"No, I am Dean," Sam replied softly, calmly.
"Okay Sammy, let's try this again, shall we?" Dean huffed out an irritated sigh. "What the hell did you expect to be able to do? You were ten-years old, and let's face it bro, you were kind of a scrawny kid and small for your age back then."
Dean smirked, pleasantly surprised when Sam shot him a weak bitch face – more of a grimace actually, but Dean would take it! – before he continued to try and talk some sense into his brother. "It wasn't your fault little brother, you hear me? You had no chance of being able to stop what happened, especially if you were … drugged."
Dean had to pause and swallow a large lump of emotion back. That word, the mere thought of his baby brother being alone and defenceless because he had been drugged, caused an intense wave of guilt to wash over Dean once more.
It was his responsibility as Sam's big brother to make sure that Sam should never have to suffer through anything as horrendous as being ten-years-old, alone, scared, drugged and at some fucker's mercy while he and his Dad were off on a hunt that didn't even exist!
God, he had been such a blind idiot!
He could almost forgive himself for leaving his kid brother alone, but what he couldn't forgive was not noticing the obvious signs of distress his brother had shown once Dean and their Dad had returned to find that not only had Connor Hagen not arrived to check on the youngest Winchester, but that he was also missing.
Dean could recall now with an uncanny clarity, how Sam had clung to Dean when he got back and wouldn't leave his brother's side or let go of him, not even when Dean yelled at Sam to leave him alone, frustrated because his pesky younger brother was hanging around and not letting him do his job of helping his Dad locate the missing Hunter.
If Dean had been a couple of years older, he may have realized and recognized the subtle signs Sammy had given off that something was wrong with his little brother; the way Sam would cringe when someone other than Dean touched him or the way that Sam would wince every time he sat down as if it hurt him or …
Dean closed his eyes and shook his head, disgusted with himself for not having realized or seen the signs earlier that his baby brother was in trouble. If he had, then maybe Sammy wouldn't have gone through the punishments in his younger years. If Dean had been more observant, he could have saved his Sammy and stopped all of this before it had even started.
Dean blinked away his remorse and guilt, determined to do better. He couldn't go back and change what had happened, but what he could do now was stand beside his brother and never let him suffer through something like that all alone ever again.
"Sammy, you need to be straight with me now little brother," Dean peered into his brother's hesitant hazel orbs, Dean's expression deadly serious. "You told us that you couldn't recall anything from that night. You didn't remember Caelan's Dad coming to check on you, right? Because I remember you telling us that he never showed up at all."
"Right," Sam agreed quietly, anxious about where his older brother was going with this line of questioning.
"So, you need to tell me … did you just suddenly remember these events or … how do you know this is what happened?"
A worried frown creased Sam's forehead, recognizing that Dean wasn't doubting him; he was just generally curious and naturally concerned about how Sam had come across this information.
Sam lowered his eyes briefly, biting upon his bottom lip, recalling how Sicko had bragged to him about what had occurred that night eleven years ago, how Sicko couldn't help but strip down a drugged and helpless ten-year old child while Sicko had his wicked way with him.
Sam shuddered violently, shaking his head to clear his mind of those disturbing images. "Sicko told me," Sam revealed in a low, haunted tone. "He was there that night. And …" Sam released a deep breath before meeting his brother's gaze once more. "I know what you're thinking Dean, but I don't believe he was lying just to get under my skin or drive a wedge between us. I got the feeling that … Sicko lost control and … it wasn't supposed to happen like that. He was there to test the drugs reactions on me, I guess, and not … to do what he did …"
Sam cut himself off the instant he heard the low growls emanating from his older brother, followed by the sound of teeth grinding together in anger.
Sam swallowed hard and lowered his eyes once more, not wanting to see the shame and disappointment that he knew would be reflected within his big brother's green eyes. "I'm sorry Dean, I really am sorry but … now you see right? Now you see why you guys should just accept Mr. Stewart's deal and leave me here, right?"
Sam's gaze rose to meet wide, startled green eyes. "Dean this is what needs to happen for you guys to make it out of here in one piece." Sam began earnestly, trying to persuade his brother that accepting the deal was the right cause of action.
"You and Caelan won't be forced to argue or fight anymore. You two can patch up your relationship because you won't have to protect me or defend me from Caelan. And, it's not his fault that he hates me now Dean, it's not."
Sam continued, his eyes widening into his puppy-dog look, trying to plead Caelan's case, hoping that Dean would go easy on Caelan because Sam knew that Dean would be devastated if he lost Caelan's friendship. The two of them were best friends … brothers and Sam didn't want to be the one who ended that friendship.
"Come on Dean, it'll be better this way," Sam forced a smile onto his lips. "With me out of the way, you and Caelan can actually be real brothers without having to worry about your pain in the ass little brother messing things up or getting in your way."
Sam was about to say more to convince his brother to just walk away and leave Sam's sorry ass behind but then Sam saw Dean's eyes narrow, his expression closed off, his lips thinned into the furious, protective dark look he would get whenever Sam was threatened or in trouble.
And in that brief instant, Sam knew that Dean was never going to agree to Mr. Stewart's deal unless Sam pulled out the big guns and revealed the horrible truth about how their mother had died.
"Are you done?" Dean growled, his green eyes flashing with intense fury and big brother protectiveness.
Sam hesitated because the last thing he wanted was to have Dean hate him and despise him as much as his surrogate brother did right now. But, if it was to save Dean's life, then he would just suck it up and do it.
"Not quite," Sam grimaced when Dean merely stared at him with his stoic expression, knowing by the wave of emotions that filtered through his eyes that Dean was about to voice his objections, but before he could say a word, Sam rushed on to confess his greatest sin.
"Dean, I have another confession to make. And maybe once you hear what it is, you'll see that accepting Mr. Stewart's deal is the only option left available to you."
Sam took a deep, steadying breath, knowing that this was the hardest thing he'd ever had to admit to in his whole life, and decided that there was no easy way to tell his brother or to soften the blow of what he was about to reveal.
"The Demon was there for me the night Mum died. Mum was murdered trying to protect me, because she got in the way and I … I have Demon Blood in me Dean."
TBC