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Stardate 54479.9 Personal Log Entry, Cadet Icheb
I have been thinking about what happened to the Nygean prisoners for the past few days. Seven has had a great deal of difficulty accepting what happened to Iko. We have spoken about her past as a drone, when she assimilated thousands of individuals and turned them into drones. In effect, she said, she killed them. Most of the time she is able to avoid thinking about it, but at times like this, she cannot. She cannot understand how she was exonerated of her actions by the captain, while Iko, who killed once, will have to give up his own life in compensation. Although the captain reminded her that she was sentenced by the actions of her parents to the life of a drone for twenty years, and was forced to act as she did by the Hive, Seven does not totally accept this rationalization.
Iko admitted he killed someone. He was violent and willing to kill Seven while he held her hostage in Sickbay. He was a murderer, and he was convicted according to the laws of his people. They allow the relatives of the victims to choose the sentence. Iko will die because the family of the person he killed insists upon this outcome, even though he is not the same man as he was when he killed. He had a birth defect which prevented him from having a conscience. When he was treated with Seven's nanoprobes, that defect was healed. Seven told me he was a very gentle person after treatment. He suffered severe guilt over what he had done, once he was restored to the person he should have been if he had not been born with this defect in his brain.
It is a strange thing to contemplate. Borg nanoprobes, when injected during the assimilation of a new drone, kills that person's capacity to be anything other than a small piece of the great Borg Collective. We are pieces of machinery rather than individual biological beings. We have no capacity to think for ourselves or choose how to act on our own. That was not really true of us in our Children's Collective, of course, because we were imperfectly formed drones with faulty nanoprobes, but I do understand what Seven told me about being a full drone. Yet in this case, nanoprobes, with their ability to heal, returned someone who was a murderer into the person he was meant to be. This fact did not sway the family of the man he killed to agree to a different form of punishment. Iko will still be executed.
That is not the only aspect of this event I have been contemplating. After the Nygeans boarded their transport and took the prisoners away, the crew who are part of Commander Tuvok's Security Department, who were working extra shifts guarding the prisoners, were able to resume a more normal schedule of activities. One of those crew members is Angelo Tessoni, one of the Equinox "Five."
Naomi came to me yesterday, troubled by what she'd overheard while she was in the Gilmore quarters playing with Aimee. Mr. Tessoni came to visit Marla. Since Naomi was there, they went to another area of the quarters to talk about what might happen to them when they returned to the Alpha Quadrant. They were upset by all that had occurred while the Nygean prisoners were on board, and they spoke loudly. Naomi could understand what they were saying, even though she does not have enhanced hearing like I do (although I understand Ktarians do have sharper hearing than humans, and Naomi must take after her father in this way).
The two spoke about the atrocities they had participated in while serving on the Equinox. He was unhappy they had gone along with their superiors on the Equinox, even though they'd had little choice in the matter. Lieutenant Burke had threatened their lives if they did not cooperate. Their captain had ordered them to maintain secrecy once Voyager rescued them. Burke told them they would "suffer the consequences" otherwise. Apparently, it was "cooperate or go out an airlock." They agreed that they should have risked those consequences and told Captain Janeway what had been going on, even though they would still suffer punishment for using aliens as fuel. Perhaps it would have gone better for them if they had done that, but they had supported their own officers instead of following their consciences, even though they finally had Captain Janeway to appeal to, something they'd never had during all their time on Equinox. Mr. Tessoni wondered what sort of punishment they might face when Voyager returns to the Alpha Quadrant.
Marla reminded him that the Federation does not execute prisoners anymore, but they will almost certainly be imprisoned. For herself, she knows this is a just punishment. If it comes to a court proceeding, she would plead guilty and accept the sentence imposed. Marla's sister will take Aimee and raise her, if Aimee is still a small child once we return to the Federation. Marla became very emotional over this. She admitted to Mr. Tessoni she had considered this possibility before she began the adoption process, but her love for Aimee overcame any hesitation on her part. She hopes she has not condemned her daughter to pain in the future, but "taking care of Aimee is the most important thing, and she will always have a family, even if it isn't with me." Marla is sure of that.
She told Mr. Tessoni that all they could do is work as hard as they can to cooperate with Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay now, as they have been doing for the past year and a half. Since we cannot expect to arrive in the Alpha Quadrant for several years, at the earliest, Aimee will grow up in her care until we arrive. The court may be lenient with them and simply throw them out of Starfleet. "And that's what we'd deserve," Mr. Tessoni told Marla.
Naomi was very troubled. She had known there was some sort of cloud hanging over the five from Equinox, since she observed much of what happened when they first came on board, but she hadn't heard many of the details of what had occurred on Equinox before this. (Mezoti had told me much of this, so it wasn't a big surprise to me.) Naomi found it hard to believe Marla and the others had done what she'd heard them admit to doing.
Naomi said she's always wanted to get home so that she could spend a little time with her father while she's still growing up, even though she fears losing her "Voyager family" once we do. But she also wants Aimee to remain with Marla Gilmore throughout her childhood. I assured Naomi that we would speak up for them when we returned home. Perhaps it would help them avoid prison. I also told her that our situation on Voyager is so unique, we will always be closer and part of a Voyager "family," even after we return to the Alpha Quadrant. She calmed down after I said this and went home to her family's quarters.
Once Naomi left, I thought about this situation. It's hard for me to imagine Noah Lessing willingly participating in mass murder - or Jim and Brian, or Marla and Angelo. They admit they did, however, and, like Tom Paris, they seem to be trying to redeem themselves for their past crimes. I have never heard about any complaints about their behavior. Commander Tuvok would never have assigned Mr. Tessoni to his security team if he had any questions about his suitability for such tasks.
From my Academy studies, I know the defense of "I only followed orders" is generally not considered acceptable, but the situation which Voyager and Equinox found themselves in is unprecedented, as far as I've been able to discover. For years, both ships traveled through the Delta Quadrant totally out of contact with anyone in the Federation to whom their crews could appeal when superior officers ordered them to act against their consciences. Everyone on Voyager was fortunate. Captain Janeway followed Starfleet procedures to the best of her ability. There were a couple of questionable decisions, as I've noticed from reading the logs, but considering the way Captain Ransom and Lieutenant Burke acted in similar situations, she has shown admirable restraint and maintained a high standard as captain. If Mr. Tessoni and Marla and the others had appealed to the captain for sanctuary once Voyager discovered them and told her what they had been ordered to do by Ransom and Burke, I believe leniency might have been offered upon our return to the Alpha Quadrant. But they kept silent, even participating in stealing a multiphasic shielding device Seven had developed, leaving the crew of Voyager vulnerable to alien attacks. Three Voyager crew members died as a result. I don't believe the five serving here now expected or wanted that to happen, but those are the facts.
While I enjoy my Starfleet training session with Commander Tuvok and the rest of the staff, I've always wanted to get to the Alpha Quadrant sooner, rather than later. I'd like to attend classes on campus at the Academy on Earth. But if it means Aimee can grow up with Marla Gilmore, the mother who loves her, I would be willing to travel for twenty years or more before arriving "home." I don't want to see anyone go to prison for what they did under duress. As long as we are still traveling in the Delta Quadrant, that will not happen.
And I have the death of the alien freighter captain on my conscience. Maybe I've only got one death, compared to the thousands Seven is upset about, but one is enough. I will never forget that man. I wouldn't have done it if I knew it would have failed no matter what I did, because my nanoprobes were not "cooked" enough to assimilate him properly, but that's not a very good rationale either. I must live with that, and with any other punishment I may be subject to in the future, because of my actions on the Children's Collective cube.
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