This time she laughed, "You really do not remember me, do you? What they said was true but I did not believe it for a long time and when I finally did I swore you would pay and you have. They all laughed at me then but I sure got the last laugh."

Kirk studied her and could not remember her, "Where and when did we meet?"

"Just before you took command of the Enterprise you were an instructor at the Academy and we had two weeks together. Oh, I knew of your reputation but after the fifth day I was so sure you meant it when you said I was special, that I was different. I was sure that I was the one who could catch you. Then I thought we had something special, I thought we had a future working on the same ship as I had my name down for the Enterprise but two days before you left I was assigned to the Totara."

Dimly Kirk remembered awaiting command of the Enterprise at the Academy and spending time with some women. Gary Mitchell and Bones used to tease him about being a womanizer. Bones had even laughed and said it was just was well he was going off on a starship for five years as he would have to behave then.

She shook her head and closed her eyes. "You could have taken me, you were allowed to select the new crew rotation you wanted and you did not take me. When I asked you why you said that all that mattered was the chair and all that went with it. You said you had to totally dedicate yourself to your position and your crew."

There was a moment of silence then she stood tall and looked at him and smiled, "Having known you back then I knew just what to do, I knew just how to get you to turn against that Vulcan. I knew turning you against him would make your crew lose their respect for you as he actually was more respected than you, getting you to call him a half-breed was all I needed you to do as he was more of a figurehead of calm to them, and they trusted him more because of his calm logic. I knew turning you against him would be turning you against something you just used the way you used me, something you needed to make you even a greater Captain than you already were. I knew that being a Vulcan he would feel nothing about you calling him a half-breed but it would make the crew lose their respect for you. You made it so easy to slowly give you the drugs I needed to get that reaction, to get you to call him that.

"I doubt if you would remember this but I was the top of my group in making explosives, it was so easy to place the bombs where they would do all the damage I wanted them to. You made it clear to your crew that I could walk about the ship freely and once you were asleep I set about placing them. I did pass that Vulcan but I do not think he suspected anything as Vulcans do not understand the human mind. Knowing that that chair and that crew meant so much to you I knew what to do and was sure that I would get away with it. I knew if the Vulcan survived that he would try to go to Engineering to try to save the ship and that if he got there the drugs would permanently disable him."

"You, you never said you were dissatisfied with your position on the Totara." Captain Kupe had sat so still while she had spoken that his calm voice seemed to stun her for a moment.

She looked at her Captain, "I was sure, when I heard where we were going, that we would encounter the Enterprise. I have been more than content with my position but I will admit that my sole reason for staying in Starfleet was to do what I have done." she turned and looked at Kirk and he saw satisfaction on her face, "I had wanted you dead as well but you being alive is even better as now I really have got you back for how you hurt me, how you humiliated me, how you treated me like nothing when you got that chair and that crew. They have not told me so I will ask you, how many of your close crew did I kill? Did the drug bombs work? Did the drugs ruin that Vulcan's mind and therefore his use to you? And did I leave you disabled out there needing help? I did leave your communications system intact."

"Captain Kupe, I want to thank your for you assistance. I will make a statement later for her hearing. I need to return to the Enterprise."

"You didn't answer me, Captain Kirk! The least you can do is tell me if I ruined your First Officer's mind. At least give me that satisfaction."

For a moment he paused at the door and looked at her then turned away as he said, "You will find out at your hearing, Officer Bennet."

Kirk walked slowly to the transport center, wanting to get back to the Enterprise and yet wondering how he could face his crew again, how his crew would respond to him. The crew would no doubt have heard of what Spock had done, how Spock had saved them and the ship, and he only hoped that they did not know about his tirade on the bridge. He would have to apologize to the bridge crew for that.

Spock. The thought of what he had done, what he had said to the best friend he had ever had, made him stop. Shortly after Captain Kupe and Officer Bennet had beamed aboard Spock had told him to control his hormones ad he had ignored the warning. Even knowing that he had been drugged, primed, to react as he had did not excuse what he had done. There had been a few times on missions when he had had to react negatively towards Spock to protect the mission but what he had done on the bridge was unforgivable. He should have been stronger. If Spock never recovered it would be his fault. If Spock recovered how could he explain to him why he said what he said and would Spock fully understand how sorry he was? How could he .

When he walked into Sickbay McCoy was there waiting for him and the Vulcan healer. "How did it go?"

"Spock was right. Officer Bennet did it all to get back at me for just having an affair with her and her thinking it meant more than that to me. Spock told me not to trust her, he must have sensed something about her."

"What's that old saying about Heaven having no rage like love to hatred turned, nor has Hell a fury like a woman scorned? Truer than you thought?"

"Thing is I cannot even remember her, Bones. Well, not exactly. I knew I had had female company during that time but I was mentally preparing to take command, familiarizing myself with the layout of the ship, reading the files on the crew, reviewing the ship's history, and never really concentrated on the company side. I was so aware that there were older and much more experienced officers who they could have selected and I knew they would be waiting for me to fail and there was no way I was going to let that happen. I guess she has plotted this for a long time." For a moment Kirk closed his eyes and shook his head, "She had it all so well planned and I never saw it coming."

"You think she targeted Spock or was she after the whole bridge crew? "

"She targeted him, she asked if the drugs had ruined the Vulcan's mind. She also wanted to kill some of the crew as well as me but seemed pleased that I was alive to live with the guilt."

"You you cannot have any guilt about this, Jim. None of this was our fault."

"None? How can you say that, Bones? I let everybody down. I let myself get involved again with a female visitor. I ignored Spock's warning. I forgot all about her. I let her wander about the ship. I enabled her to do that to Spock."

"Dammit, Jim! You were drugged. It is not your fault. None of it is your fault."

"I am the Captain of this ship, Bones. Upon taking the rank and role of Captain of this ship I swore to put the safety of the crew and protection of the ship above my own. There were no exceptions, no exemptions when I took that oath. A captain's duty is to his crew and ship and I failed in my duty to protect them. A Captain should listen to his First Officer and I ignored it. I heard what Spock said and I totally ignored it and then, then I called him," again Kirk heard his voice saying half-breed, calling Spock a half-breed.

There was a few minutes of strained silence and then Kirk became aware of the Vulcan healer walking into the room. He was a much older man, for a Vulcan he looked as old as Spock's father.

There was a brief nod when the man looked at him. "You are the one he calls Jim. You are the one he is most troubled by as he is both drawn to and repulsed by. We must talk."

A.N. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Med appointments for self and others all this and next week so will be back after the start of next month. To those in the U.S.A. - have a great Thanksgiving Day. Take care and have fun. Enjoy.