He should be listening to her story. After all, he had asked what happened to the old dock by the train station, why they'd decided to finally remove the rotting wood structure that had for so long marked the edge of where children could swim without worrying about being caught in the fishermen's lost nets. If he couldn't focus on Annie's explanation, he should at least think of those happy days spent in the sea, swimming for hours, holding his breath and opening his eyes underwater to watch as the fish swam by in rainbows of color all around him.
Instead, all he could think of were hands crawling over every inch of his body, the sting of a whip against his back, the roughness of ropes against his skin. He heard the man ask him again if this was all right, watched himself as he nodded, choking on a safe word he couldn't dare use lest it reach the president's ears that he had stopped one of his clients.
"Finnick, are you all right?" Annie's voice jerked him away from his thoughts.
He nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."
She studied him for a moment. "No, you're not," she said, allowing her words to hang in the air between them for a moment before adding, "Was it b – worse than usual?"
"Yeah."
"Want to talk about it?"
Finnick bit down on his lip, focusing on the pain to stop his tears from falling. "Not really."
She pulled him down so that his head was rested on her lap. He nuzzled against her palms as she stroked his face, looking into his eyes with more kindness than he could possibly deserve. "What do you need?" she asked.
"You." He kissed the palm of her hand.
Annie gave him a small, sad smile. "I think you've got that one whether you want it or not, Odair. What else can I do to help?"
He curled his legs up against his chest, folding himself into a ball on their loveseat. "I just want to be here with you and never think about them again."
"I'll try." Annie kissed her hand and then pressed it to his cheek. "Should we find something else to talk about?"
Finnick nodded. "Yes, please."
"One of the support beams on the dock finally gave out," she began. "Honestly, I was surprised it hadn't collapsed earlier. I suppose it didn't really collapse; it was more bent, like it would crumble in on itself any second. You couldn't walk on it, or you'd fall right off. I think the Peacekeepers finally decided it was too big of a safety hazard to be left for kids to play on. You know how Cord's little girls are always playing around there. I don't care if he was only looking out for his twins. I'm just happy that they've finally gotten rid of that thing."
He knew the real content of her story had finished, but she kept talking and stroking his hair, and as long as he could listen to her voice and feel her hands on him, he could almost, at least for that moment, forget.