=/\=
". . . Finally, in the year 2270, Kirk's historic five-year mission comes to an end, and one of the greatest chapters in Starfleet history came to a close."
As he paused to take a breath at the end of this section of his oral presentation, Icheb relaxed his shoulders. It was going well. The captain was smiling at him and was beginning to rise off her Ready Room sofa near the windows. She must be getting up to obtain another cup of coffee for herself from her replicator. That shouldn't prevent him from continuing. "A new chapter began when Kirk regained command of the Enterprise . . . "
The captain's smile disappeared."How many more chapters are there?" she inquired.
"Thirty-four," Icheb replied.
The captain groaned. "This was supposed to be a twenty-minute presentation."
"I was trying to be thorough. I could shorten the report," Icheb added, trying to be helpful. He hoped going over the allotted time for his presentation wouldn't count against him. He'd considered the twenty-minute stipulation had simply established the minimum amount of time his oral presentation must last for him to satisfy the course requirement.
"That won't be necessary." Putting up her hand to preserve silence, Captain Janeway stood up and declared, "You obviously know the subject matter." Standing erect to make herself as tall as she could in front of the lanky cadet, she proclaimed, "Congratulations, Cadet. You have just passed Early Starfleet History."
"Thank you, Captain." Icheb turned crisply away and exited the ready room. Another course successfully completed! As he stepped onto the bridge, Icheb noticed Seven was standing at her bridge station. When he walked out of the ready room, however, she looked up from whatever she was doing and peered inquiringly at him.
"I passed," Icheb announced to the bridge crew.
"As I knew you would," Seven replied succinctly, but from the light in her eyes, he knew she was proud of him.
Tom, sitting at the helm, didn't turn around, but he called out, "Told you you'd nail it!" Both Chakotay and Harry Kim offered their congratulations. Tuvok nodded slightly, with his eyebrow raised in the manner Icheb had learned to recognize as the Security and Tactical Chief's approval. Tuvok's second in command Ensign Ayala and Security Officer Bhavin, who were both standing at rear bridge stations behind Seven, didn't actually verbalize praise either, but both grinned at him, which pleased Icheb nonetheless. He didn't really expect anything more from the most taciturn members of Voyager's crew.
"I'm leaving the bridge now, Icheb. Will you accompany me?"
"Of course, Seven," he answered. She'd want a full report of what had occurred in the ready room, of course. He wondered if she would be disappointed that the captain hadn't wanted to hear all the details he'd collected about the career of the legendary captain/admiral/captain. As he entered the turbolift with Seven, Icheb thought that as long as a cadet knew the history of Kirk and his predecessor, Captain Jonathan Archer, who commanded the first starship called USS Enterprise, Early Starfleet History was an easy course to pass.
He had no idea of the captain's other visitors right then, or how complicated his life would become at their hands over the next several days.
=/\=
Within hours, the crew were trading stories about the Q, particularly the one who was currently residing on Voyager. Icheb had to research who Q was, since his knowledge from the Borg had only the sketchiest information about a race of beings who called themselves that. Because they proclaimed they were omniscient and could pop in and out of normal space at will, taking any form they wanted, Borg drones had tried to assimilate them many times. They always failed. The beings would flash out of existence, melt away, or turn into a mist so quickly, the assimilation tubules could never deliver any nanoprobes to a Q. The Q had never struck back at the Borg after these attempts, but since the Queen considered a Borgified Q a potential weapon to defeat the Collective's nemesis, Species 8472, the failure to assimilate them was frustrating to her. That much, Icheb did know.
This Q seemed to be doing everything he could to make everyone's life miserable. He appeared on the bridge shortly after Icheb left it after passing his course in Early Starfleet History and, after the captain refused to allow him to fly into fluidic space to fight Species 8472, he declared he wanted to see more interesting things than "bipeds pushing buttons" and disappeared. He turned Main Engineering into some sort of wild party, almost causing a warp core breach. In the Borg Central cargo bay, he showed up while Seven of Nine was working and removed all her clothing so he could stare at her naked body. Since he hadn't prompted a reaction from her, however, he left. He reprogrammed the food replicator in the Mess Hall so it would say "Make it yourself" when anyone asked it for anything. When Neelix suggested he use his powers to relieve a food shortage in one planetary system instead of instigating a war, Q fused Neelix's jaw shut and removed his mouth and vocal cords - because Neelix "talked too much."
When this Q appeared on the bridge and instigated three Borg cubes into attacking Voyager to "see how humans act under pressure," however, he'd gone too far. Three drones materialized on the bridge, and the captain was saved from assimilation by still another Q. This was the father of the one who was causing all the trouble, apparently. After the father Q dispatched the drones and cubes somewhere else and repaired the damage to Neelix, according to the gossip, he snarled at his son, "If the Continuum has told you once, it's told you a thousand times: Don't provoke the Borg!"
The next thing Icheb heard was that the junior Q had been turned briefly into an Oprelian amoeba. The Doctor told Icheb that "Junior Q" had been forced to live in one of the Doctor's tiny petri dishes. "When he was turned back into a humanoid, he complained that life as an amoeba was disgusting, because he was slimy, and he only had paramecium to eat. His father told him he had just one week to become an upstanding citizen of the cosmos or he'd spend the rest of his life as an amoeba. And he's been stripped of his Q powers and forced to live as a human, just like the two of us."
"Doctor, you're a hologram. I'm Brunali. Strictly speaking, neither one of us is human."
"A mere detail. You comprehend my meaning. The important part is, 'no Q powers.' He has to live like any of the crew as long as he's here. And do you know what he did when he was leaving my sickbay?" When Icheb admitted he did not, the Doctor exclaimed heatedly, "He stomped on the petri dish and smashed it to smithereens. He walked right through it and left a trail of culture medium all over my floor. I had to clean it up myself. What a colossal waste of time! I'm a Doctor, not a janitor."
Hiding his smile, Icheb said, "I'll do my best to stay far away from him, Doctor." That was much easier said than done, however
=/\=
Icheb was working on an exercise Seven had given him, recording the properties of several singularities detected in the region of space in which Voyager was traveling, when Tuvok escorted a stranger into Astrometrics. He was dressed in the uniform of a Starfleet crewman, but since Icheb had never laid eyes on him before, he knew this must be the Q which the Doctor, not to mention just about everyone Icheb had had contact with over the past few hours, had spoken. Tuvok explained, "Seven of Nine will be instructing you in spatial causality. You will learn how your actions can have widespread repercussions."
In a bored tone of voice, Junior commented, "I read the PADD. You're going to tell me how I can't create Anomaly A without causing Phenomenon B, which, in turn, affects Civilization C, right?"
If this Q thought this statement would get him out of the lesson, he was very much mistaken. When Commander Tuvok assigned something to you, as Icheb very well knew, you did the assignment. Perhaps Q had not yet learned this lesson. Icheb decided it would not hurt to be gracious, however. Smiling, Icheb extended a hand of welcome and introduced himself.
"Oh, I know who you are. You're the drone with the Kirk fixation."
Before Icheb made the mistake of showing his annoyance, Seven intervened. "You would be wise to follow Icheb's example. By applying himself, he's become a valued member of this crew."
Rather than respond to her comment, Q said, "Can I see you naked again?"
Turning her back on Q and ignoring him for a moment, Seven went to a console and called up the lesson in spatial causality. Although even more annoyed at Q's rudeness to Seven than he was to the dig at himself, Icheb did his best to hide it. He knew Seven was fully capable of handling such a situation. While this introductory part of the lesson was one Icheb had already heard, he listened attentively, to serve as a role model to the Continuum pest. Besides, he was pleased at the way Seven had praised him. Seven was not generous with statements like this in Icheb's hearing (although Tom, Harry, and B'Elanna had all told Icheb she'd said similar things about him to them). He wasn't about to give any evidence to this Q that her statement might not have been true.
=/\=
Once the spatial causality lesson was over, Chakotay came by to bring Q to his next lesson in diplomacy. Once they were gone, Icheb turned to Seven and said, "I wonder if he learned anything from you today."
"Doubtful," she said archly. Icheb smiled before going back to the task he'd been forced to leave so that he could take part in the lesson. The next couple of hours passed pleasantly, and therefore, quickly. At lunchtime, Seven released him to go to the mess hall to obtain "nutritional supplementation." He had to smile again at that. Would Seven ever totally expunge the Borg from her behavior? He had to think it was doubtful.
Although Icheb hoped to find one of his friends to share his meal, when he walked into the mess hall, however, who should be there, dishing out the lunch entrée, but the young Q himself. He didn't seem very happy, and it was easy to see why. Neelix was being as loud and annoying as Neelix can be (who, Icheb had to admit, could be very annoying when he wanted to be). To Q's query, "Don't you ever stop?" Neelix only pretended to apologize.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot. My talking annoys you. Too bad you can't just shut me up again, huh?" Icheb saw him snap his fingers in Q's direction and then call out very loudly to one of the crew, while Q winced at the sound.
Because he had seen and heard what had just occurred, when Icheb approached Q, he wasn't shocked at the rude way he was addressed by the interloper. "If it isn't drone boy! You come to put me to sleep with another of your presentations?"
Icheb thought for a moment. He could be rude back if he wished, but really, Icheb viewed that sort of reaction as counterproductive. Q might only be a few years old, if the official logs documenting the previous encounters with the Continuum had been recorded accurately. Knowing the captain as he did, Icheb was sure they had been. That meant that however old this Q might look, his growth had been accelerated to an even greater extent than the Borg's maturation chambers had aged Icheb and his cohorts from the Children's Collective. He decided to offer the possibility of friendship instead. "Actually, I was wondering if you'd like to participate in some recreational activities."
"I don't have the time. Aunt Kathy's forcing me to write an historical essay on the Q Continuum," Q groaned.
"That's a challenging subject," Icheb agreed.
"I've never written an essay before! I don't know where to start!"
"The origin of the Q seems like the most logical place, followed by an analysis of their interaction with humanity. You could conclude with a description of the events that led you to Voyager," Icheb told him, trying to be helpful.
Q's face lit up. Icheb, "Would you mind writing some of those down for me?"
Pleased that he might be of assistance, which could promote a friendship with someone who was really closer in maturity level to Icheb than anyone else on Voyager, Icheb offered to get a PADD to jot down an outline for Q's essay. If Q had never written one before, he naturally would need some guidance. Q seemed to be very grateful to Icheb for his help. It never occurred to Icheb that Q might have any ulterior motives in mind.
=/\=