I've tried my best to churn out another chapter for you guys! Also, I would like to mention, getting reviews, favourites or any sort of response to my updates makes my day, and often makes me write more. So, if you have a thought on one of my chapters, even some criticism or just plain kind words, drop me a review!
And btw guys, I ship SS/LM, SS/SB and SS/JP equally, so it's going to be a pain to choose which one sort of prevails, but who knows with this story if any or maybe all of them 'prevail'. I do have a semblance of a plan though haha
IMPORTANT SIDE MESSAGE: Please go check out my bestfriend's Profile JotunBoss. She writes amazing Avengers fanfiction, mainly FrostIron. If that's your sort of thing, please give her stories a look!
Warnings in General: Homosexual relationships, multiple pairings (SSxJP, SSxSB & SSxLM), Crack moments, slight OOC? And MAYBE DESCRIPTIVE SEX LATER IN STORY, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
Warnings this Chapter: Memories of past child/domestic abuse, could be triggering, there's also some very nasty homophobic words, and other stuff like that. Some Lucius in this chapter as well, but not in the way you think. ;)
Chapter eleven – Family Worry
Surprisingly, nothing or no one bothers me as I scamper back to the Slytherin Dormitory.
Entering the Common Room, I notice it is empty; this is predictable as the majority of Slytherins' are still at Hogsmeade having fun. This train of thought reminds me vividly of what I just did to James earlier, who under different circumstances, wouldn't even want to think of touching me like he did.
Guilt gnaws at me, so much so I sit on the nearest chair beside me, clutching my head and groaning at myself.
I am a horrible person.
I feel like sitting and moping all day, but tentative tapping of a beak against glass distract my self-pity. Looking up, I realize that a window materialized without me noticing (which is strange as the Slytherin Common Room and Dormitory are underneath the Great lake, but magic works in strange ways.).
Getting up from the chair, I walk fast-paced to the materialized window. As soon as my pale hand opens the pane of glass, a medium-sized, grey owl swoops past, circling the wide Common Room before settling itself onto the chair I was just sat on.
"What…?" I say aloud, as if the mysterious owl can hear me. The grey thing just cocks his head at me, looking amused at me.
Feeling angry (at a small creature of all things.), I stomp over to the thing and snatch the letter attached to its cocked leg. However, as soon as I open the letter and read the first few words, my heart stops and my legs feel like jelly.
Falling to the floor, my eyes re-read the recognisable scrawl of writing:
Dear Severus,
It is me, your Mother.
My hands shake, dreading the words I always expect to hear from her.
I have managed to find time and space away from your father, he is luckily sleeping off his last drink.
I close my eyes briefly, readying myself for the rest.
Darling, I have missed you so, but I am so glad you're safe. But please don't feel worried for me; Tobias has been… ignoring me lately. There are still tough times between us, but I want to reassure you I'm safer.
"Safer", the word makes me grimace, Mother never knew what 'Safe' was, and I can already imagine what my… 'Father' has done to her so far.
I do have to admit something to you darling, I fear that Tobias is getting worse, so much so that I plead you to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas, let me bear his brunt. If something were to happen to you, I would be devastated.
Not devastated enough to take me and run away from the muggle scum.
I hope you are having a good school year, make sure to have fun with your friends and learn something new. Be sure to apply yourself to your studies, but I don't doubt you won't, my smart little boy.
On a side note, please keep the owl that was sent with your letter, Tobias wouldn't approve if he saw him.
I will love you always,
Eileen S.
I stare at the letter, emotional from the mere reminder of what my Mother has been going through for the past two months: harsh words, mental, emotional and most likely physical abuse.
The thought I can't do anything to stop it makes me feel utterly helpless.
Especially since she still loves 'him', the man who has made our life completely hell.
Tears begin to fall from my eyes, yet again.
My fists clench so hard my nails break my skin.
The room starts to prickle with magical energy.
"Argh!" I yell out suddenly, ripping the letter to shreds, throwing it away from me. I turn around and kick a nearby dark wood table, sending it across the room, breaking into hundred pieces, splinters everywhere.
Without even realizing, my magic lashes out, sending everything remotely close to me flying against the hard cobbled wall. I barely hear the grey owl screeching out of fear.
A voice pulls me out of the red rage that entered me.
"Severus!" A normally regal voice calls out loudly, sounding quite worried. Looking up, I lock eyes with an unusually scared looking Lucius, my new owl screeching and flapping behind him for cover.
"…L-lucius?" I hoarsely respond, my arms that were bunched up in adrenaline now limply by my sides. Staring at Lucius, I try to bring myself back to reality.
"Are… you alright?" Lucius asks, although not really expecting a yes. He stares dumbfounded at the mess I made with both my fists and accidental magic, if I were to describe what Lucius looks like… he looks scared.
Of me.
"It's… hard to explain…" I mutter pathetically, my eyes itchy and red, though I refuse to wipe them for the sake of dignity. "I'm… not sure what went over me."
"Oh…" Lucius mumbles, looking uncharacteristically lost for words. A few minutes pass before either of us do anything.
With a sweep of his wand, Lucius repairs all the damage I did. His impressive display retains the previous appearance of the Common Room before my rage. Lucius then walks up to me, seemingly careful of his stance.
"Do you…" Lucius coughs, looking slightly awkward at trying to be considerate. "…want to speak about it?"
"No… no, I don't really want to," I sniff, looking at everything except Lucius' concerned eyes. "But… I could use some company… maybe."
The almost pleading words come out before my filter can catch them, I fear regretting asking for Lucius to comfort me. But to my surprise, the blonde gently holds my hand and tugs me slightly, towards the Dormitory.
For some reason, I have full confidence he isn't going to take advantage.
As we reach the Dorm, Lucius gently pulls me to his bed, sitting me on his luxurious and practically king-like quality mattress. Lucius turns towards his almost giant trunk, pulling out a pair of silk black pyjamas.
My heart stutters slightly as Lucius turns back to me, his nimble and elegant fingers pulling off my button-up top, sliding my form-fitting trousers off, but Lucius never lets his hands linger too long, understanding what I'm comfortable with.
It's not too long before Lucius helps me put the dark night-clothes on, his hands this time lingering, his thunder grey eyes piercing into my dark charcoal ones. His hands don't leave, despite being fully dressed now.
But Lucius doesn't go any further than staring enraptured. His face is close to mine but he never moves any closer or away, our breath starts to mingle and I feel light-weight and dizzy… in a good way.
Completely forgetting everything that Lucius has ever done or tried, I lean forwards and kiss him.
A tingle and shudder runs up my spine, heat spreads everywhere. But despite my sudden urge and need for more, we keep the kiss chaste. Lucius is the one to pull away, his pupils dilated and filled with utter want.
The look makes the heat spread even further.
There is a moment of pure electricity between us, but I manage to snap out of it, sitting back onto Lucius' bed. This snaps Lucius back into reality as well, as he undresses into his own pyjamas (which I try so hard not to stare, but fail.), and he nudges me over, pulling the cool but comfortable duvet over us, wrapping his arm around my waist, and placing his face in the crook of my shoulder.
Lying there, with a person behind me giving me so much warmth, I start to feel better. Although I still have dark thoughts swarming my mind, the comfort of another being pushes them away, even if for a little while.
Closing my eyes, my breathing evens out and I begin to drop off into a nap…
"Get back here you disgusting piece of flith!" A man yells, throwing a ceramic plate at a dark-haired woman, who's crying and pleading for mercy.
"Please, Tobias, don't!" The woman screams, barely dodging the glass and ceramic being thrown at her. "I'm s-sorry!"
"Not sorry enough to not teach the little brat some of that magik shite!" Tobias yells, forcefully grabbing the woman, pinning her against a wall with dirty and cracked wallpaper. "You're gonna pay for this Eileen!"
"P-please, not in front of S-severus!" Eileen cries, her eyes darting towards a young, dark-haired boy, standing with a traumatized and utterly scared expression, tears cascading down his trembling face.
"Don't even talk to me about that fag!" Tobias slurs, violently banging Eileen against the wall, so hard it shakes. Tobias kicks her down, and keeps kicking.
"Mum!" Severus cries out, but immediately quiets as Tobias turns to sneer at him. The view of his own Father with his Mother's blood on his shoes, and a fierce and horrifying expression makes Severus burst into tears.
"What did I say about crying, you little queer!" Tobias shouts, picking up an empty bottle of beer and chucking it at the crying child. "I should just kill you two and get the world rid of some magic scum!"
"N-no… p-please…" Eileen croaks, waking up from her brief 'knock-out'. "I-I'm sorry… please…"
"Shut your mouth!" Tobias yells, stomping over to Eileen and kicking her in her gut again. "Shut your goddamn fucking mouth!"
Severus stays quiet, watching with red puffy eyes as his Mother is beaten once again. Even with glass stuck in his arm from the bottle, he doesn't make a sound.
"Severus…?" A voice breaks through, pulling me out of my nightmare which was unfortunately a memory. I blink awake and come face-to-face with Lucius, who looks concerned.
"Y-yes…?" I say, though I realize I must've said something during my recollection. I certainly feel sweaty and horrible anyway.
"You had a bad dream," Lucius states, still staring at me with concern.
"It's fine… now at least," I mumble, looking away from his piercing eyes. I don't want anyone to know about my home life, the only exception is Lily.
"If you're sure," Lucius says, still looking at me weirdly. It is probably because he has seen me literally destroy the Common Room and now have a nightmare. I should really stop making people concerned for me…
Lying there quietly, I begin to feel the pushed away guilt gnaw at me again. Looking into Lucius' eyes, I wonder if he feels that something is wrong, that his feelings and thoughts are most likely forced…
I wonder if James and Sirius feel that, or are they all oblivious to the fact their feelings about a certain greasy haired Slytherin have changed drastically practically within a few hours.
Lifting my wand and casting a tempus charm, the time 3:15pm (I look around the light room and realize it is still daytime and that I slept through most of the early afternoon) I glance at Lucius, who is leaning against the bed's headboard, staring at me with a rather burning gaze. Looking away, I cough awkwardly and slide out of the bed.
"Severus…" Lucius calls, stopping me in my tracks.
"Uh… yes?" I turn around to face the blonde, nearly jumping out of my pale skin as Lucius practically pulls me forward for a kiss, his tongue roughly but at the same time pleasurably entering my mouth. My mind goes blank.
"A-ah…" I moan, but I manage to gather my mind again and push the eager Slytherin away. I try to ignore his frustrated and quite frankly stormy gaze.
The sounds of approaching Student's makes me sigh in relief; I turn myself away from Lucius again, picking up the clothes I was wearing earlier. As the Dormitory door opens, I enter the Dormitory Bathroom, managing to tear my own eyes away from Lucius' enrapturing ones'.
Despite everything, I can feel myself falling for his tricks.
A/N: This is pretty much filler at the end and most of it. Could not really think of anything to write so I had to write something to end the chapter! I should hopefully get a better muse soon, since I've finished my exams and now have the Summer Holiday to write!