Hello my darlings. I would like to thank anonkp, LKK (Guest), French fan (Guest), elsje1967, Guest and Petunia3116 for the wonderful reviews. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.

So this chapter is again set in season 2, episode 17, 'Personal'. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS: LA, nor any of the lines I have used from the show.

Callen stormed down to the parking lot, but he had enough sense to make his way to Sam's car rather than his own. He knew he wasn't thinking clearly enough to drive and he didn't want to cause an accident. He didn't want anyone else to get hurt because of him. That and he needed to be alive to kill the bastard who had hurt the man he loved. They were not going to get away with it. He would make sure of that. Oh yes he would.

Sam on the other hand just breathed a sigh of relief when he found his partner waiting for him. He had had a horrible feeling that he would get down here to find him already gone. But no. It seemed G was accepting his help then, that was good. Though wherever he would continue to accept it when he discovered his role in this was to make sure he didn't kill the people who had shot Deeks, he doubted it very much. But now was not the time for that. They needed to get to the crime scene and see what they could find out.

The drive down to the convenience store was unusually silent. Sam kept looking over at G wondering what he was thinking, but every time he opened his mouth the only thing he could think to ask was if he was all right, and he was pretty sure that was a stupid question. Of course he wasn't. Deeks was in hospital fighting for his life. There was no way G was going to be remotely okay about that. So instead he concentrated on trying to think about how he was going to hold G back from doing anything stupid. It was a monumental task that he really didn't think he was up to.

Callen for his part spent the journey looking out of the window and determinedly not thinking. Because every time he did an image of Marty dying alone came into his mind. That idea hurt so much that he could barely force himself to draw breath. Could barely remember how to make any part of him work as he was consumed by feelings of guilt and pain. As he remembered he had never told him that he loved him. No. He couldn't think about that now. Because Marty wasn't dying, he was going to be fine. He had to be fine. The other option was not possible, because Callen had no idea how he would go on if he wasn't. No don't think about it. Put all those thoughts and feelings in a box and lock them away. He had a job to do. A purpose to keep him moving, breathing. Concentrate on that. So he turned his mind to concentrating on what he could do, and banished all else from it.

The car had barely stopped when Callen was climbing out, marching his way towards the crime scene, his eyes pools of steel, the determination radiating from them so much so that not even Sam was brave enough to question it. He hoped that whoever had the case at the LAPD wasn't stupid enough to try and get in his partners way. He didn't like to think what would happen if they did. He didn't want G getting arrested for murdering a police officer after all.

Callen didn't speak to the detective in charge, leaving that to Sam. Instead he stood there and glared at him as if he could make him go up in flames with just a look. He decided he didn't like him. He wasn't showing enough concern for Marty for his liking, and the man was lucky that he was on their side, and willing to give them the case. Otherwise Callen might have soon him just how much Marty Deeks was a better man than he was.

In fact in wasn't until they were inside the convenience store that Callen's steel eyed mask cracked. The sight of the blood on the floor, surrounded by the bloody gloves of the EMT's, and the swabs they had used on the injured man. That was Marty's blood on the floor, Marty's life those gloves and equipment had been used to save. That was Marty's life spread across the lino of this backwater store. How could this happen? How could every that Marty was, end here? How could he be standing there staring down at place where the man he loved had been shot? How could he have let this happen? This was all his fault.

"G, do you want to wait outside?" Sam asked quietly as he placed a hand on his partners shoulder. He had seen the break in eyes. How the steel had been replaced with unimaginable pain as he stared down at the place Deeks had been shot. As he stared at the yellow markers the CSI's had placed around it.

"No." Callen replied, forcing himself to look away from visual evidence of what had happened here. Forced himself to look away from what could have been the last place Marty was ever alive. No. Breath. In, out and repeat. He could do this. He would do this. He needed to find these bastards. With that new determination in his mind he turned to where Sam was talking to the owner.

"G?" The man, Frank said with concern in his eyes. He had seen him with Marty a few times, and he knew they were a couple. It was obvious from how they behaved that they were together. But he did not expect to find him here, surely he should be at the hospital?

"What happened?" Callen asked nodding at the man but discouraging him from asking about how Marty was or his feelings or anything personal. He didn't need any of that. He needed answers, now.

"Two guys come in. One goes to the back. The other pulls a gun, made me empty the register." Frank explained, understanding how the police worked. G did not need his condolences, he needed his statement so he could find these men.

"Did you get a good look at him?" Sam asked hoping that he could be a reliable witness.

"I was focused on the gun in my face." Frank replied with a look of apology as he said those words, feeling as if he was letting Marty, and G, down because of his own fear of getting hurt.

"What can you tell us?" Callen asked in a tone that was more harsh than normal. But he needed useful information and so far he had given them nothing.

"They wouldn't leave after I gave them the money. The one guy, he kept glancing out of the window." Frank answered trying to remember everything he could. He wanted to help them catch these men. He wanted to help G.

"Checking to see it was save to leave." Sam nodded. That made sense. They weren't going to run from a robbery until they knew they could get away.

"That's when Marty came in." Frank finished with, though he noticed how G flinched when he spoke the name of his partner. He could understand that.

"We're going to need to see your surveillance tapes." Sam said looking round and noticing the cameras. They could be a big help in finding who had done this.

"It's a new digital system. I haven't quite figured out how to use It." Frank replied, not looking at G this time, because he couldn't. He had the equipment to help them find Marty's shooter, and he hadn't found the time to make it work.

At those words Callen turned around and walked out of the store before he did the owner bodily harm. But as he left he made sure to keep his eyes averted from the blood and evidence coated. Once outside he pulled his phone out of his pocket. This guy might not have cameras, but surely Eric could find something right? After all, this was Eric. This was what he did.

"Eric you got any cameras in the area that we can look at?" He asked as soon as his call was answered. He needed something, some way of finding those he was hunting.

"On it." Eric agreed sharing a look with Nell up in ops as he did so. He wasn't sure how good an idea it was to have Callen working this case, but he wasn't going to question Hetty. Of course now it meant they had to find cameras, because if he knew one thing, it was that he didn't want and angry agent Callen breathing fire down his neck if he failed.

Hanging up Callen stared around at the area which had people moving about it, making sure to keep his back to the store as he thought over what they had learnt. He could feel Sam coming up behind him and he just knew what he was going to say. Something about asking how he was doing and suggesting that maybe he would be better off at the hospital. But he couldn't do that, he needed to keep moving. If he stopped his mind would take over, and he just… couldn't. So instead he forestalled his words.

"Why leave a witness? Why not shoot them both?" He asked as he resolutely turned towards Sam's car and away from the last place Marty had been unharmed. He was never going back to that store again, and neither was Marty. He was going to make sure of that.

"Robbery's one thing but it takes a cold-hearted person to kill someone in cold blood." Sam replied though his words were rewarded with G turning to him with a narrowed eyed, very dangerous look.

"They shot him, Sam. I don't think we need to question how cold-hearted they are." Callen growled. The ones who had done this were scum of the earth in his mind, and there was no way they didn't know what they were doing. They shot one man, they could have easily shot two. No there was something else going on here. Marty would not lose his life because he interrupted a robbery gone bad. He wouldn't let it happen.

"I know, G. We'll get them, I promise." Sam replied in a placating tone. He knew he was walking on thin ice here, but they needed to consider all possibilities. He needed to be the voice of reason to make sure that G kept his head on straight. That was not going to be an easy task that was for sure.

Kensi stood in the corridor outside of the surgical unit at the hospital holding in her hands the watch Callen had gotten Deeks for his birthday that he never took off, and his badge. She felt strange being the one who was there doing so. It should have been Callen, but it wasn't. It was her standing there waiting to hear if Deeks was going to make it. Waiting to see if she would have to tell her team leader that the man he loved had died on the operating table. Had died when he hadn't been there for him. No don't think like that. Deeks was going to pull through. He had to make it, she needed her partner with his bad jokes and flirty attitude. They needed the man who had made Callen so much more human, who made him smile and show his feelings.

Turning to the badge in her hand she couldn't stop herself from opening it to run her thumb across the picture there. LAPD detective Martin Deeks. But as she did so she noticed it wasn't completely flat. With a frown she slipped her fingers behind the badge and was surprised to pull out two pieces of folded paper. One well-worn as if it had been looked at many times before, the other looked newer. What could possibly be so important to Deeks that he kept these behind his badge, on his person at all times? Well only one way to find out. With that decision she carefully opened the older, more worn of the two bits of paper. She recognised the hand writing before she registered the words. It was from G to Deeks. She knew she shouldn't read it, but she had gone too far not to now, and well, it wasn't that long.

Marty,

That night, you, I'll never forget. I wish things could be different.

G

She couldn't help the gasp that escaped her lips when she read the words. It was not something she could ever envision Callen writing, to anyone. But he obviously had. She had no idea when they had been written, but it was obvious that Deeks had read it and re-read many times. Why? What so important about it? Why did he keep this behind his badge of all places? Folding it back up her eyes turned to the other piece of paper. She knew she shouldn't, but… her curiosity got the better of her before she could stop herself, and therefore she unfolded that one too. Less surprised this time to find Callen's writing once more, though the words this time had her blinking the tears out of her eyes.

Dear Marty,

I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have done what I did, and I know I can be slightly overprotective. But I can't lose you. Because I love you Marty Deeks. And while I may not be able to say the words, may never be able to say them, please know they are true. You are everything I want and need in my life. You make me a better person.

Please give me another chance to show you my love.

I love you.

Yours always

G.

It was so heartfelt and beautiful, even if it was only a few lines. It said so much. That Callen was willing to put those words down on paper for Deeks, well she could see why he loved him. He really was a bit of a romantic. Who would have thought it? Callen writing love notes. With a small smile on her lips she folded the letter back up and replaced them both behind Deeks badge. She didn't want anyone to know she had seen them. They were personal and between the two men, even if they did cause more questions to rise inside her about why they had been written and when. Though the last she could guess was when Callen and Deeks had broken up because he couldn't tell him he loved him. At least she now knew exactly, word for word, how her team leader had convinced her partner to give him another chance. With that thought she sighed as she turned back to the window.

"Come back to him Deeks, he needs you." She whispered not sure who she was speaking to, just hoping someone out there would hear her.

The opening of the doors and the clatter of wheels of a hospital bed coming her way pulled her out of her thoughts and turned to see Deeks being wheeled towards her, unconscious.

"How's he doing?" She asked his doctor. She needed to find out so she could tell Callen, and the rest of the team.

"Two shots. The worst was high in the chest. Luckily, it missed his lung. The second, fractured a rib, deflected away from his heart. It was a small calibre weapon. He's gonna be okay. You can talk to him when the anaesthetic wears off. Uh, the nurse mentioned there's no next of kin listed. Is there someone you can call?" the doctor answered giving all the details Kensi needed, though it was the question which startled her the most. Deeks didn't have a next of kin listed? But surely, that would be Callen, right? Shaking herself out of the questions in her mind she answered the doctor.

"Yes, there is." Kensi replied with a smile. Because even if Callen wasn't listed, she knew that he was the only one who had the right to make any decisions about Deeks care. Because he was the one who loved him, and the one who Deeks loved in return. And that was part of being with the one you loved, that you took care of them when they needed you too.