"So," Daryl said as Sinclaire slid the back door of the truck open. "Why didn't ya wanna camp with Nate?"
Nate had offered as they were walking out but Sinclaire had told him that she would feel more comfortable in the truck. "Seriously, what is your deal with him? He's not a bad guy. We would have had to eat our pasta with canned tomatoes if it wasn't for him."
"I just don't like him. I don't have to like him. And ain't nothin' wrong with canned tomatoes. Probably better for ya than spaghetti sauce."
They closed the truck door and Daryl flicked his lighter so that Sinclaire could see to arrange the blankets she'd left back there.
"If I freeze to death tonight be sure that your redneck brother feels guilty forever," she said.
Daryl tossed her one of the blankets she'd given him.
"Here. I ain't gonna get as cold as you."
"More and more you prove that chivalry isn't dead. In a weird abrasive way."
"Yeah well. Ya can't have yer cake and eat it too."
"I don't see why not. What's the point of having cake if you can't eat it?" Sinclaire lay on her back with her hands behind her head, as wrapped up as she could get without turning herself into a living mummy.
"Hell I don't know. It's like when somebody says their kid's cute as a bug. Bugs ain't cute; what they are is fuckin' disgustin'."
Sinclaire chuckled and said, "I heard somebody—before this whole thing started—say that some kid was "just as cute as they could be."
"Yeah?"
"Well isn't everybody? I mean who would go around not being as cute as they could be?"
Daryl gave one of his rare, quiet half laughs and nodded.
"Ya'll could put that in yer southern dictionary."
"Yes. Southern phraseology will have its place in history."
"Ya ain't mad about Merle and Tiff are ya?"
"What? It's not like I didn't see it coming."
In the silence that followed she thought she heard Daryl snort.
"Ew! Not...no! I mean it's not like I didn't know that she and..."
The snort turned into a full laugh. She reached out in the darkness and connected solidly with his ribs. It didn't help; Daryl laughed until he had to catch his breath. Sinclaire crossed her arms huffily and turned to face him. The moon was up and now that her eyes had adjusted she could see him faintly. He grinned at her.
"So ya really ain't upset?"
"I...no. I wish I'd had some warning so I didn't have to see it in action. But no, I'm not mad."
"Lots of people figure yer in love with my brother."
"I think Tiff would claw my eyes out."
"Ya could take her. And I think ya should. Be fun to watch."
"A catfight over Merle would be too much stimulation for him. He might have a heart attack and we need him around."
"Yeah. I guess. So we won't invite him when it happens."
"Do you think I'm in love with your brother?"
"Kinda. Well I mean I did. I figure ya have to love him to put up with him."
Sinclaire thought about that. Did she love Merle? Nah. No way. If she loved him she'd be mad at him for banging Tiff. Right?
"Or is it one of those ya love him like a brother things?" Daryl asked hopefully.
"I've never had a brother," she answered. "So I have no relevant data for comparison."
"I've only got the one. And I don't think he's what ya call normal."
"What do you think about Carrie and Glen?"
"Think they better keep it to their own damn mattress," Daryl said darkly.
"Hey, you could have had that."
"Carrie?"
"No," Sinclaire said sarcastically. "Glen."
"I didn't want to. With Carrie."
"So you did want Glen?"
"No! Christ. Merle's a fuckin' bad influence."
"Why didn't you want Carrie? She's cute and young and she was crazy about you."
Daryl shrugged.
"Just didn't."
"Has there ever been anyone you did want?" Sinclaire hadn't meant to get so personal. Maybe it was easier in the mostly-dark.
"Yeah. Just never really happened. What about you?"
"No."
"Just like that? Just...no?"
She was sorry she'd asked Daryl. Having the tables turned felt like shit.
"I've got my reasons. I just...don't like sex."
"So yer ahead of me then," he said ruefully. "I got no relevant data for comparison."
"There are worse things in life than being a virgin," she said, trying to speak lightly so he wouldn't press the subject.
"Not at the end of the damn world."
"So why not jump on Carrie?"
"I knew Glen liked her all right? I'm not a jackass."
"No you're really not. It's nice. Both of you are in nice. In a weird, abrasive way."
Silence fell between them. All of Daryl's hopes and dreams about spending the night with her were starting to die. He sighed.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"Well...good night then."
"Yeah."
She knew he wasn't asleep. She couldn't stop thinking about what Sophia had said. Did Daryl hate Nate because he thought Nate wanted her. Or in simpler terms: did Daryl want her? She was surprised by the smile that crossed her face at the silly thought. Usually if she had even the slightest indication that a man wanted her she made herself scarce. Maybe it was because Daryl was far from suave. It'd probably take him another year to make his move. She mentally smacked herself. It must have been seeing Merle and Tiffany that had put her mind in the gutter.
She sighed and rolled over. She missed talking to Merle.
"Ya okay?"
"Sure. Just not sleepy."
"Me either."
"Too bad there's nothing to do."
Daryl could think of a couple of things, but he kept them to himself.
"What do ya talk about with Merle? I'm always hearin' ya'll chatterin'."
"Pretty much everything. He's still stuck on those million dollar houses."
"Yeah. Can't blame him. I been in some like 'em for work and ya wouldn't believe the shit they waste money on."
"What did you do?"
"Cut and installed glass. Borin' but I'm damn good at it."
"So is that what you were doing in the million dollar houses?"
"Yeah. All glass showers and stuff like that. What about you?"
"You know what I did," she said in surprise.
"Well yeah, but was that it? What'd ya really wanna do?"
"All I ever wanted to do was be in the military," she said honestly. "I did ROTC and all that."
"Pickle," Daryl said.
She punched him. He caught her hand and punched her lightly in return.
"That's all you've got?" she teased.
"Ya wanna go 'round with me Yankee?"
"I...think there's still a box of needles somewhere in here," she hedged. "Might not be the best idea."
"It's okay," he said. "Ya can admit yer scared."
She snorted even though it wasn't exactly a lie. Her heart was pounding the way it always did when someone got unexpectedly physical with her.
"I just don't want to give people the wrong impression. Think of what Merle would say if he happened to look out and see the truck rocking."
"Hell, he'd never believe it," Daryl said darkly.
"We could always not and say we did," she pointed out. "If you need the cred."
"What's the point? Anyway, he'd ask me questions about ya that ya probably don't want me makin' up answers to."
"I shudder to think of the questions that Merle would ask about sex," Sinclaire admitted. "Okay, so no wrestling, no fake sex. I'm going to sleep."
"Yeah. And I'll just lay here. Alone. Till I die."
She heard him roll over. He'd actually sounded pissed off. Was he mad at her? Had he expected...all of a sudden she was almost positive that he might have been at least hopeful that they were going to...
"Sophia says you hate Nate because you like me," she blurted out, throwing her young friend under the bus.
"Oh fuck," Daryl groaned.
"It's crazy right? Kids. Crazy kids," Sinclaire said, trying to laugh. "I don't even know why I brought it up—"
"She's right. I mean kinda. I...Nate's a fuckin' prick. But...yeah. I...do...like you. I'm..." he trailed off when she sat up.
"You want to sleep with me?"
He'd never heard her voice so tight or so high pitched.
"No. Yeah. I mean if ya wanted to I wouldn't turn ya down. But...I mean not right this second. Unless ya want to."
"I don't," she said quickly and emphatically.
"Okay."
She didn't miss the hurt in his voice and she felt like a bitch. Her heart was trying to climb into her throat and even though her brain knew that Daryl wasn't going to do anything she didn't want done, her body didn't believe it. Her muscles had gone tense and she felt sweat trickle down her back. Her breathing was getting ragged and her nails dug into her palms. The truck suddenly felt too small, airless and hot.
"Sinclaire?"
She saw him reach toward her and she pressed herself back against the side of the truck.
"Don't. Don't touch me."
Daryl kept his movements slow, just like he was following a spooked deer. He moved to her side of the truck and sat down beside her, close but not touching. He could tell that she was trying to calm down. God. What had happened to her?
"If ya don't want me ya could just say so," he said when her breathing had leveled out. "I ain't gonna throw myself off that cliff out there if ya turn me down. Matter of fact, I'm kinda used to it."
She half laughed, half gasped in relief. He wasn't mad at her!
"I feel like such an idiot," she admitted. "I've gotten a lot better over the years. I used to flip out when people touched me. But now..." she stopped talking abruptly.
"Yeah?" Daryl asked.
"Nothing. Never mind."
"So...it ain't just me? It's everybody?"
"Pretty much."
"Shit. Well...ya said yer better'n ya used to be. Maybe..."
"What? You're going to wait for me?" she asked with a despondent laugh.
"What the hell else am I doin'? I ain't the type that gets a whole lotta action."
"You could. I'm pretty sure you don't freak out the way I just did."
"No," Daryl said decidedly. "I don't think I would. But I'm pretty sure that I ain't had nothin' as bad as what happened to ya happen to me."
"I hope not. Now can we forget this?"
"Reckon so," he answered. "If ya really wanna."
He moved back over to his side of the truck and Sinclaire laid down again, arranging her blankets.
"Bowhunter?" he heard her whisper when he was nearly asleep.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"Wanting me to be your special lady." Her voice quavered with barely held back laughter.
"Ah suck it," he answered. "Go to sleep."
"Seriously," she said a moment later. "Thanks."
"Anytime. And I mean that."
A Note: One of the people who commented on chapter 32 and the Daryl/Sinclaire/Merle relationship thing hit the nail almost totally on the head. For the sake of intrigue (and my own amusement bwhahahaaahha) I will not say who. Hopefully you all stay tuned!