It had been two weeks since Dean's death. No one knew except for Cas, Sam and Charlie. They gave him a quick burial- they were hoping to get him back. Dean was always invited to spend Christmas at the Novak's, obviously he brought Sammy along, as John was never around, and Christmas was glum at the Winchester's.

Dean tried, but he barely had enough money to buy a turkey, let alone any other Christmas things, they were always moving around, so there was never a real home to go to- until he met Cas.

But this year, Sam decided to bring Cas and Charlie back "home"- to wherever his father was staying, in the hopes of retrieving John's time Turner.

John looked after that thing better than he looked after his sons.

Cas thought to himself, with a sad smile.

Sam, Cas and Charlie walked through the door, they were surprised to see John standing there, but some things never changed, he was hunched over a file of papers- working a case.

Sam sighed.

"Hey Sam... who are these other people?"

"Well, this is Charlie and Cas. This is Dean's best friend and his-"

John approached Charlie and held out his hand for her to take.

"-And you must be Dean's girlfriend."

John interrupted. Charlie grinned nervously, maybe it would just be easier to pretend she was Dean's girlfriend- if Dean hadn't come out to his dad, there must have been a good reason.

"Yes, that's right, sir."

Charlie blurred out nervously.

"Please, call me John."

John smirked.

"So..what about you, Sam? Any girlfriends on the horizon?"

Sam blushed.

"No, not exactly..."

"Oh well, you're too young for girlfriends anyway. So maybe that's a good thing."

John laughed.

"Wait, where's Dean? Is he taking care of Baby?"

Sam frowned.

"Dad, Baby's not what you should be worrying about right now!"

"Why? Has Dean messed her up? Is he still in the car?"

John called out to the car.

"I knew you would mess her up, you good for nothing, useless grunt!"

John yelled angrily.

Cas glared at him fiercely.

John was the reason. He was the reason Dean didn't believe he was amazing. He was the reason Dean didn't think he deserved to be with Cas. He was the reason Dean hated himself so much that it drove him to...

Cas shuddered, fighting back tears.

"Dad, can we borrow your time turner."

John's face fell, as if Sam had just kicked a puppy.

"Why? Has Dean fucked up again!"

This was directed at the car yet again.

"What? No! And stop talking about Dean like that!"

Cas shouted with fury.

John scrunched his eyebrows.

"He's my damn son, I'll talk about him however I damn well feel like talking about him! Besides he's all the way in the car- too much of a coward to face his old man. Typical Dean, always messes up, but never takes responsibility for his actions- he was a screw up from the start!"

John yelled out the door again.

Cas and Charlie stood speechless, they didn't know if they were about to cry, or smash John's face in."

Sam chimed in.

"Dean's not a screw up- stop talking about him like that- just because you're still sad and bitter about mum's death, doesn't mean you should take it out on Dean!"

Everyone stared at Sam.

John was speechless, but soon gave Sam an angry frown.

"Cas, Charlie, why don't you go wait in the car? I need to talk to Sam alone."

Cas and Charlie stumbled out the door, they stood outside the car, trying to peer through the window, but John had closed the curtains.

"Now Sam, your brother's a fuck up, but at least he knew something about respecting his father!"

John growled, punching Sam in the face.

Sam clutched his bleeding nose, tripped and fell back, causing him to hit his head on the table corner.

He felt a sharp pain spike the back of his head.

"Ah!" Sam yelped in pain.

John helped him up, only to punch him in the gut. The eleven year old keeled over in agony. He didn't understand why is father was doing this. Is this what Dean went through? It felt like hell.

Sam cried.

"Real boys don't cry Sam!"

John roared, punching him in the throat.

Sam lay on the floor, gasping for air.

He managed to croak out,

"I'm sorry..."

Before everything faded and turned to black.

Sam wasn't sure who he was apologising to. It certainly wasn't his dad. Maybe it was Dean. Maybe it was for the years of turmoil Dean had to suffer through. Sam wept harder.

Sam woke, after what appeared to be a few hours, to the sight of Cas and Charlie, looking down and smiling at him.

"What, what's going on."

His voice was hoarse.

Cas waved a metal object in front of Sam's face triumphantly.

"We go the time turner!"

"Really?"

Sam pulled Cas' hand closer to his face, so he could get a better look.

It was really the time turner, but Sam's eyes drifted as he noticed something peculiar. There was blood on Cas' knuckles.

"Cas, why is there blood on your knuckles?"

Cas smirked.

"Don't worry, it's not mine."

"Is it my dad's."

"Yeah."

"Cool."

Sam said with a smile.

Cas and Charlie laughed.

"Hey Cas, is this what being Dean feels like?"

Cas stared intensely at Sam, and ran a comforting hand through his hair.

"I hope not Sammy, but I have a feeling that it might be."

Sam cried.

"Sammy don't cry- we have the time turner, we'll get Dean back, things are gonna be better."

Charlie placed a reassuring hand on Sam's chest.

Sam lay back and smiled.

"Okay guys."