Ron could barely move his feet forward. The amount of guilt and the throbbing pain in his face was nearly too much to bear. He had truly just tried to help. Why was he so stupid? Even the word moron had his name in it. Why couldn't he do anything right?

He caught sight of himself in one of the decorative mirrors that hung in the hallway leading to there apartment. He didn't look nearly as bad as he felt. His eye was puffy and black around the bottom and his cheek was a bit red but it was really just how pathetic his eyes looked even to himself that struck him hard.

He had to tell her. Tonight. She deserved to know what sort of loser she was sharing an apartment with. He'd already resigned himself to the idea that she would undoubtedly move out. That he knew, he just wasn't sure what she'd do to him before that. He had no Horcrux with him this time to ease over his stupidity. Just his words of apology. He was going to confess everything. Everything.

Even the key felt exceptionally heavy when he put it into the lock. The wards made his fingers tingle when he felt them release to accept him in. He barely had the strength to lift his head as he passed the threshold.

Their apartment was modest. The front door opening up to the living room slash kitchen. With their bedrooms down the short hallway. Hermione had taken the bedroom on the left beside the bathroom while Ron had taken the one on the right next to the small balcony that gave them a modest view of the town. It was only a few blocks away from Grimmauld place but was set inside a six-story building, their room on the top floor.

The living room held one couch and a small desk with a chair that had already been taken over by the copious amount of books Hermione had been using to study for her NEWTS, her room too small to really hold it all. He'd offered to switch rooms with her when she'd first moved in but she'd declined, saying that she didn't want to put him out. He'd never really commented directly on her taking over the shared space in the time they'd stayed together, too afraid that it would make her want to go back to Harry's. It all seemed silly now. She was going to leave anyway.

Ron set his keys on the hook beside the door, his eyes taking in the room more clearly. The overhead light was still on giving him a clear view. All the papers and books she'd messed the room with had all been neatly stacked along the walls. The dining table, kitchen bar and even the small desk all cleared away. His head raised a bit higher taking in everything that appeared to have been cleaned before large brown curls hanging over the arm of the couch caught his attention.

His heart beat just a bit faster as he closed the door and came further into the room. The coffee table was still filled with paper but he could tell she'd tried to contain the mess. When he came a bit further he felt his the tension in his body slowly unwinding. She was asleep, her head turned into the back of the couch. He'd never seen her actually able to fall asleep anywhere but her bed since she'd come to stay with him. As though she were always wound tight. His eyes lowered down to the book that nearly took up the entire length of her torso. It looked old, older than anything he'd seen her have before. He came just a bit closer to try and read the faded gold leaf title. Wizard Royalty: Castles of the Ages.

He pursed his lips but didn't put too much thought into what she might be researching now. He was sure it wasn't NEWTS related and thought perhaps she was simply reading it for pleasure. The book looked awfully heavy though and he couldn't imagine her being all too comfortable laying beneath it. Despite his previous self-depreciative thoughts, he felt the need to help her in some way.

Though his heart wanted him to carry her safely to her room, his fear kept his hands from completing the task. Instead, he carefully lifted the book from over her chest. Her hands had already fallen down, one to the floor and the other against the back of the couch. She took a deep breath letting out a soft sigh after he'd lifted it away but otherwise didn't stir.

He closed the book without even looking inside gingerly placing the heavy tome down on the coffee table. His hands itched to pull her up into his arms and carry her off but once more he pushed down the urge. Instead, he leaned over her pulling down the blanket that rested on the back of the couch. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful, so relaxed. He swallowed down the lump that had appeared in his throat and lowered down the blanket, mindful not to touch her. His cheek pulsed reminding him of all the mistakes he'd made and with a heavy heart and heavier feet he turned away to his room.

oOo

Night had fallen, blanketing the world in inky blackness. No moon shined overhead and thus cast no shadows. Snape moved silently through the streets well above any wondering eye. He hadn't found her where he'd left her. He had had to use a location spell on her journal, something he'd kept with him after the war for fear of their creation falling into the wrong hands. It was his saving grace now.

Following the small compass that led the way he found himself standing on a balcony atop a sixth-floor building. The curtains were drawn and the lights were out. Cautious as always he used his natural gift to try and feel who might have been inside. He could feel two distinctly different energies. Both at rest. Using his wand he slowly and silently pulled back the curtain. His dark eyes adjusting to the dim light within.

Ron found himself in a place he had never been before. Large endless stone walls surrounded him at every turn. A scream pierced through the haze and he found himself running. Running, endlessly running. He could feel his lips moving to call out. His heart underfoot as his mind registered the owner of the scream.

He had to save her. He was the only one. He was the only one left. Bodies started to line the corridor in which he ran. Ginny, Percy, Fred, George, Bill, Mom, Dad, Harry, Neville, Luna. All laying dead, killed by his betrayal, he knew.

The long endless hall opened up suddenly to the bright flash of fire and explosions. All thumping into his heart into the background. His eyes turned up to the platform before him. Taken from a memory he found himself staring up at the bound form of the only girl he'd ever truly loved.

"Hermione!" His words were choked with dust and burning air. He pushed himself even farther over the bodies of faces his mind couldn't name. Just as he neared the stage a dark shadow appeared from behind her bound form. Distorted by the mask on their face he didn't need to know their name to know that they were evil.

He couldn't let her be lost. He had to do something! His eyes turned for any way he could possibly get upon the stage when a deep voice echoed from all around him.

"You've spent your meager life fighting us...But now..." Ron's eyes turned up to the man standing beside Hermione's unconscious form. Their tall lean body transforming before he could even know the difference. Their hand came down exposing their arm for Ron to see, the Dark Mark shined brightly against the pale flesh of their arm. Ron found himself frozen in place as their hand came away towards the mask that concealed their true identity. "You have become one of us..."

The mask fell away with a small wisp of black smoke and Ron could hardly call in enough air to call out. His own face stared back at him with the weight of all his crimes. A scream of denial rang out over the world only to turn to one of horror as a searing pain registered more real than anything that could have been a dream. He fell to his knees clutching tight to his own arm before his eyes turned up to watch his own wand set light to the woman he loved. The woman he had tried so desperately to save, to be the hero for.

"One of us..."

oOo

Hermione woke at first light, a dream so peaceful flittering away as she opened her eyes. A scent—stronger than before—wafted through the air of her open window and she found herself momentarily confused.

She stretched herself out slowly, her body warm from her relaxed rest. She could almost feel him wrapped around her. His arms strong and firm, her ear pressed into his chest listening to the slow thump of his heart. Safe and secure. The lingering feeling spread through to her heart and she gently pulled down the blanket from her body blinking slowly to the black fabric underneath. She couldn't recall having gone to bed. Nor could she recall laying under his cloak this way. Normally holding it in her arms, she hadn't ever spread it out over herself for fear of losing his scent. She brought up the dark fabric only to smell him even stronger. She wasn't sure how until she shifted her head to her own shirt. It wasn't the cloak she was smelling but rather the lingering scent on her own clothes.

Her head turned to the small rattle of her curtains against the early morning breeze. A small spark shot through her and she found herself suddenly awake. Hermione pushed herself out of the bed so fast she nearly tripped over the cloak that had been tucked around her. She took hold of the small window and pushed her head out. There was nothing. Her eyes snapped to the side when a long black hair that had been trapped in the fabric of her shirt floated free, her eyes widening as she watched it float away.

oOo

Ron woke with a start. His eyes snapping open to the harsh light of late morning. His dream had lingered well after it had ended. Stuck inside his torment unable to wake. All the horrible things Hermione had gone through playing on a cycle through his mind. Memories that shouldn't have even been there had manifested themselves distortedly inside his dream. His blurred eyes shot down to his arm and for a brief moment, he actually thought he saw a mark on his arm. Black and bold. Though when his eyes cleared he found nothing.

He pushed himself up slowly, his body fatigued even though he had slept. He hadn't forgotten what he had meant to do. Even still, the remains of his dream placed a deep fear inside his heart. What would truly happen if he told her? Would her mind survive? Would her heart?

He came to his feet slowly. Like a man escorted to the gallows, he pushed open his door and looked across the hall. Hermione's door was open, he couldn't recall if it had been last night or not and so pushed his way down the small hall. When he came to her door he looked inside to find her bed made. Still unsure, he continued into the small living room only to find it too empty. The large book and all the papers that had been on the coffee table were gone as well and he could see from where he was that her key was gone.

He turned his head to the bar between the kitchen and the living room and noticed a card sitting up next to a plate of cookies and moved closer taking the card into his hand and thumbed it open.

Ron,

I went out early today to visit the library at Harry's house. Your Mom dropped off these cookies for us before I'd left. Not sure when I'll be back, probably late. I've already taken a few for myself so please eat as many as you want.

Hermione

He set the card down but despite his stomach growling angrily for the cookies, he found his jaw locked tight. He had the entire day to himself, he didn't work that day and thus had all the time in the world to sit and think about everything he'd done. An icy fear crawled up his back as he remembered what Harry had said. Would he wait? Or would he just tell her anyway? He rubbed his arm subconsciously and turned his head towards the clock. Perhaps he wasn't so far behind her or maybe it was already too late.

He waffled on the proper course before resigning himself to stay where he was. He was very sure Harry didn't want to see his face and neither would his sister when he told her what he'd done. He was sure his mother would be coming soon as well and decided to go back to his room leaving the cookies behind. He was going to write a letter. A letter of goodbye and a letter for forgiveness.

oOOo

"Hermione?" Harry moved into the library slowly looking up and down the rows. "Hermione?"

"Up here," Hermione called out from three rows down. She was perched on one of the ladders leading to the top shelf. Her arm looped through while she casually thumbed through the small book in her hand. "What's up?" She lowered the book looking down at Harry.

"Just came back from the gym. Wondered if you were hungry? Ginny brought some of her mom's cooking by." Ginny had returned to her mother's house as she was set to return with all the other students the next day. Despite her desperate attempts to stay the night her mother had put her foot down on the matter.

"I could eat." Hermione shifted slightly tucking the book she had been looking through under her arm as she started to climb down. "What'd she bring?"

"Sheppard's Pie." Harry held the ladder for her as she took the final steps. He had missed her even being in the house until she'd come into the kitchen around lunchtime to grab an apple. The wards were keyed to let her in anytime so there had been no warning. Thankfully she hadn't even noticed him coming down in just his gym shorts. He'd been embarrassed but she'd been oblivious. He'd let her be, almost afraid that she was on a warpath. He had hoped Ron had spoken to her but it was clear to him now by the smile and shine in her eyes that it wasn't the case.

In fact, she looked happier than he'd seen her in months. "What are you researching now?"

"I'm actually trying to find this old castle." Hermione shifted to walk beside him the excitement evident in her voice, "I'm almost certain that it's where Snape is hiding."

"He's hiding in a castle?" Harry blinked dumbly for a moment before his brain backed up even further, "Wait a minute. Why are you looking for Snape?" He had overheard a few of the senior Aurors the other day mentioning that the Minister had put him on their caseload. While he hadn't been charged with anything—no doubt thanks to himself—they still wanted to know where he'd gone.

"He has something of mine." Her smile faded to a stern look, "I want it back." Hermione pushed ahead into the kitchen setting down the address book she'd found on the table with a heavy smack.

Harry could instantly tell he needed to tread lightly and slowly moved around the table to give her some space, "What...what do you think he has?" He was almost afraid to ask because he felt he already knew.

"My memories, the ones that were missing from the box." Hermione looked him straight in the eye when she spoke and he was sure he could feel her power wafting over the table.

"And you think...the answer is here?" Harry took a seat carefully minding his body language so as not to rile her any further.

"Yes." Hermione slowly took a seat, flipping open the old address book. She was most certain. When she'd looked into the large book this morning she had found a small apple seed pressed into the crease of the page she had been looking at the day before. She was almost certain it hadn't been there the day before. It felt too fresh, too soft to have been left there by some careless reader.

"How can I help?"

oOOo

Ron lowered the ice pack from his cheek. His face looked worse today than it had yesterday. He was sure he'd looked a sight but he hadn't even managed to look at himself in the mirror when he'd had to go to the loo. He'd barely eaten and he hadn't left his room more than necessary. Instead, he had sat on the floor of his room paper and pencil in hand.

Now he looked up to the orange fire-like glow of the evening sun. His ear twitched to the turning of the lock. He'd left his door cracked so as to know if someone would be coming into the house. He wasn't sure if Hermione would be returning home, but he wanted to hope. He had begged, pleaded, with the fates to try and see his side of things though no one else could. He had desperately tried to keep himself from running away. Simply disappearing just like Snape had.

His eyes turned down to the letter in his hands when the door in the other room closed softly. He could hear the sound of keys being placed on the hook and the sound of a heavy bag hitting the floor. There was only one set of footsteps, the knowledge making his heart beat faster.

"Ron?"

He closed his eyes tightly listening to her come further into the apartment. He had to do this, he had to do it today. No more excuses.

"Ron are you home?" Hermione looked curiously at the plate of cookies still sitting out on the counter. She had half expected to come home to nothing but crumbs. Her dinner at Harry's had gone well but it had left her with a small craving for something sweet. She turned her head around the space taking a cookie into her hand as she made her way to go towards Ron's room. She stopped short however when he appeared in the doorway.

She dropped the cookie she'd had in her hand from the sheer shock of his appearance. His face was nearly purple on the one side and he looked as though he hadn't slept at all. " Ron! Are you alright? What happened?" Her urgent steps came to a halt with he held up his hand for her to stop. Her brow worried even deeper when he looked down at the paper he clutched tightly in his hand.

"We...we need to talk..."

Hermione shook her head slightly, her wont to care for others was gnawing away at the back of her mind. She wanted to know what had happened to him and who exactly she needed to curse for having done it. Still, she heeded his request and stayed as she was. The happiness of her day had gone out like a light leaving her heart worried and her head confused.

"I...I have something I need to tell you..."

"Is it about your eye? Did you get into a fight?"

"No...it's not that...I just...can you promise me something?"

"Of course..." Hermione blinked slowly turning her eyes down to the paper.

"Can you...listen until the end?" He lifted the paper slightly his heart nearly beating its way out of his chest. He had seen the happiness that was shining so brightly inside her eyes before she'd seen him clearly. A happiness that he was possibly going to extinguish forever.

"Do we...do we need to sit down...?" Honestly, he looked as though he was going to fall down if they didn't change their position soon, the worry in her tone clued him into just how pathetic he must have looked.

"Here is fine..." Ron licked his lips clearing his throat as though he were the Minister about to give a speech. "I...I've done something...something I...never meant to end badly..."

Hermione crossed her arms slowly around her waist swallowing down the unease growing in the air between them.

"I've...always tried to do my best, make the right choices...but that was never my job..." He glanced up at her and he could see the tiniest of smiles turning at the very corner of her lip, "I wanted to make you something for your birthday...but...I'm not very good at things...anything really...When we'd-when we'd gone out for dinner before the movie, I...I gave some of it to you... without your knowledge...in hopes of...making your evening better." He closed his eyes tight for a moment taking a deep breath, he could feel the weight of her eyes on him and it only made his tongue feel heavier. "It was a potion...that contained Pearl Dust. It wasn't a love potion! I promise..." Ron glanced up at her for a second but her face only showed unmasked confusion, "You were allergic to it...It was my fault...that you got that rash...I...I'm sorry..."

Hermione shook her head slightly, she couldn't find the words to express the confliction inside her. She was furious, yes, but part of her sort of expected somewhat schoolboyish behaviors from him at this point. While she had an answer to her sudden sickness she could also tell he was truly remorseful for what he'd done. The fact that he was standing there before her like a man and telling her to her face meant something as well. She was angry now, of course, but she didn't believe it was something that couldn't be forgiven with time.

"There's one other thing..." Ron took a slow breath, "When you were...ill...During the night...I came to check on you...You...you took my hand when I reached down to touch you...You held onto me..." He looked up at her with tears filling his eyes, he couldn't see her face clearly but he knew he had to continue, "I-I...I had missed you so much that...I laid down beside you...You held my hand and I...rubbed your back—the way you like and...I fell asleep..." He rose his eyes to hers then, knowing what he needed to say without having to look at the paper, "We shifted by morning...and...I guess...the hand that I'd had on your back...it-it..." He lowered his head down crumbling the paper tightly in his hands, "I was holding your breast..." He didn't dare to look up at her, "I didn't mean to...but I did...It was there...while you slept...you weren't yourself yet...so I didn't know what to do...I just left...I...I'm sorry...I just...I never meant to be this bad..." He licked his lips slowly turning his eyes directly into her own. "I love you..."