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The rest of the day passed with Clarke taking some distance from Wells, Finn and Bellamy.
Bellamy's behavior that day had her so confused. He was comforting and nice with her and he had shown her a face that she was sure only Octavia knew.
He had taken off the mask she had concluded.
And it was brilliant. She realised she needed one conversation like that, with someone who could understand her situation.
She wondered too. What and who made him feel like her? She tried to ask but it was obvious that he didn't want to talk.
So when they returned each of them took their separate ways with Clarke walking to where they were preparing food and Bellamy barking orders to some delinquents about the wooden wall they were building to keep out the grounders.
Clarke was sitting in the dropship, she had spend the afternoon organising her area and making it as similar to an infirmary as she could. She had collected everything that could be used as bandages, scalpels and other medical tools and she had a variety of herbes courtesy of Monty that would help her treat infections, and plain flus and colds. She was making herself at home in this place while thinking about what happened by the river. She concluded that she had to have a conversation about what happened with Wells first and foremost, and then take it from there.
Thus after avoiding him for the rest of the day, at night she sat by his side near the fire.
At first they didn't exchange a word, they were both aware of each other's closeness and about the tension.
Clarke decided to speak first.
«We need to talk about what happened back there, Wells.»
When Wells turned his head to look at her he seemed pissed.
«I thought you didn't wanna talk about it. What changed your mind?»
His full of irony tone made Clarke get equally as pissed as he was.
«You're so perfect, Wells» she practically spitted the perfect word.
«You were always the model child always smart and funny and likable. And you always know what's right and you always make the right choices.» the expression on Wells face changed and he was thinking about where Clarke was going with this.
«And don't get me wrong, I never envied you or didn't like you for it or anything else. Nonetheless i admired you for these qualities.» she was angry with him that was a given but she was saying all nice things.
«But how can I discuss and confess my stupid mistakes or how guilty I feel with someone who has never once made a mistake? Sometimes I cannot talk to you about some stuff because you won't get it, Wells.»
She was not pissed anymore, she seemed confessional but not regretful.
«Clarke, I've done stupid stuff too, and I've regretted plenty of my actions. And I want you to be able to come to me even if you don't believe I will understand you. Whatever happens in your life I wanna be a part of and I want to be able to help and support you.» he had taken her hand with both of his and he was looking at her eyes.
«Even now you said the perfect thing, you dork.» she smiled and hugged him.
«I really love you Wells. Down here you are the only family I have.» she almost whispered in his shoulder and then broke the embrace. Wells didn't know what he was supposed to do, he leaned over and kissed her cheek.
She backed away to indicate that she wasn't feeling so comfortable by the gesture.
«Can we stop the fighting Larkey?» he whispered with a smirk.
Clarke's eye widened and she put a hand to his mouth while shushin him.
«Don't call me that here Wells, they already call me princess I don't need another embarassing nickname.»
He didn't lose his smirk once her hand was away from his mouth.
«I thought it was your full of pride codename Larkey.» he didn't quit playing. She punched him in the arm and he winced playfully.
«Shut up hayito. You have two embarassing nicknames too. Want the other one to be known too? Prince isn't enough for you?»
He got serious for a second and then they both laughed. By now everyone had gone to bed except for the delinquents on guard duty. And the fire was slowly dying, but that didn't bother them.
«I love you too, you know.» he spoke again after a second of silence.
Clarke knew it but she felt strained for a moment and before she knew what she was saying the words came out
«Like a friend right? Or a sister?» suddenly there was tension all around them and Clarke couldn't think of a way to make it go away.
«I love you in whatever way you want me too.» he spoke sincerely.
«Clarke let's be honest. We both knew that if we would have stayed on the Ark eventually we would be paired together. We were compatible by their standards. I had embraced that destiny and I didn't mind.»
Clarke nodded she knew very well what he was talking about. A year and a half ago she had accepted it too.
«The last year all I wanted was to protect you and I hadn't given much thought about how I felt besides that.» she didn't interrupt him. He was taking his time talking slowly, thinking first.
«Now, we are here for less than a week and everything is different bigger and more complicated.
I don't know how I love you. I know that I would do anything for you. But it's up to you. If you tell me to be friends I will shape my feelings in that way, if you want something more then I can give that to you.»
Clarke finally understood Wells outburst in the morning. Finn was claiming her and Wells felt territorial. Everyone in their whole life was pairing them together. Even down here, they were the prince and princess so he felt the need to protect her as something his. For the first time in his life Wells Jaha hadn't anyone to tell him what to do and he was confused, that's why he was giving her a choice.
«Wells if you were in love with me I think you would be sure about it. I haven't fallen in love yet. But it is supposed to be an emotion that consumes your every need and dictates what you want. The fact that you are giving me a choice proves that. You are not in love with me. You love me like I love you, like family.»
Clarke was speaking slowly as Wells did before her. And he knew too that she wasn't in love with him.
«Like family» he muttered «the most dyfunctional family ever.»
They both chucked at his comment and Clarke decided to push another subject.
«So you will quit being territorial with me in front of Finn, now.»
Wells growled, he acually growled.
«I really don't like him,Larkey. He is a douche and he is the one being territorial. He thinks you like him ssooo much. I cannot stand him anymore.»
Clarke giggled and he was was stunned. « I am describing what an idiot you are getting closer too and you are giggling right now. Nice job family member.»
She just giggled again and told him. «He is not a bad guy. He is decent and he has helped us a lot.»
«He only helps where you are involved, have you noticed that?»
She looked at him «Noo» she started thinking if what he was saying was true.
Then suddenly a voice came from the dropship.
«I think I fixed it» Monty yelled to Clarke.
Both kids stood up and rushed to Monty.
Monty's yelling had woken up everyone in the camp and now on the dropship was Monty, Jasper, Octavia, Finn, Murphy, Harper and of course shirtless Bellamy.
Honestly Clarke thought did he mind putting on a shirt?
Clarke pushed her way in and looked at Monty.
«Are you sure?» after reassuring her that it was the best he could do he pushed the final button and everyones wristbands seemed burnt.
Monty's assumptions were wrong and now the ark must be thinkin that they were all dead.
Clarke couldn't believe it and she stormed off followed once again by Finn. This time though Wells only saw her and he stood back. She was free of that pressured situation their parents had put them through. By the time she was out of the dropship she witnessed Bellamy being pulled by his neck in his tent. That only angered her even more and she wasn't sure why.
She ran off camp, by now Finn was beside her and she had let him. «Follow me» he had said and they ended up in an old bunker.
She sank in a couch which was very different from sitting on rocks she should say.
Finn was pacing. He had asked her what it meant for the people in Ark that the wristbands were fried. When she explained that they would all probably die he had started pacing.
Clarke was thinking about all of this but her mind was glued at the image of Bellamy being pulled in his tent.
When Finn started saying they were alone that he was alone. Clarke couldn't take it anymore.
She stood up and grabbed his face.
«You are not alone» she was saying and she wasn't sure if she was saying it to Finn or herself and then Bellamy kissing some random girl came into her mind and she needed to do something to forget it.
So she kissed him hungrily she kissed the boy in front of her like there was not tomorrow.
Everything else happened really quickly. Their shirts were off, she was pushed in the couch and he was pressing into her. It was not romantic or slow or what she was hoping it would be. He was fast and he was getting what he wanted. She followed the same tactic as he and not an hour later they were both lying in a bed ready to fall asleep.
And all she could think was if he had a nicer time than she had, or if he was still busy with that random girl.