"Why are you even doing this to yourself?"

"I know it's a clue. It has to be, I know this wasn't in his cloak before."

"What are you going to do if you actually find him? What if he doesn't want to be found?"

"He must, why would he have left this if he didn't?"

"I don't know, but this is Snape, the bloody coward's probably run off to Siberia or something-"

"He is NOT a coward!" Hermione seethed with raw power. Their calm discussion suddenly took a sharp turn. Ron had merely been concerned before but now, he'd gone and lit the wet candle inside Hermione's heart.

"Yeah?! Then where is he?" Ron's temper had flared with hers but it was nowhere near as intimidating. He'd wanted to spend the day with her. Take her out to a museum or something equally boring that he knew she liked. His breakfast in bed had gone well and he was just gathering up their things when she'd finished her bath. She hadn't come out in a long time so he'd knocked to come in. She'd let him in but his heart had sunk to find her bent back over her desk fiddling with the orb they'd found last night.

"I don't know..." Hermione's voice was sharp, "But I'll find him." She grabbed her bag from the corner of her desk, she'd packed a few things for tomorrow with the plan to look for him again using the orb they'd found. She'd figured out that it was a portkey and that the words written on the side were the way to activate it. She was so close to solving the riddle she could almost taste it. Her eyes shot straight through his chest as she gathered what was left of her confidence. She pushed herself around him and made her way to the front door with him scrambling to catch up. He didn't understand, but she didn't need him to. She had to do this for her if there was any chance of her moving on.

Ron had only a few seconds to process that she was actually leaving. His heart thumped against his chest with fear before regret twisted his words into something that would hopefully make her stay, "Please...can we not do this... it's your birthday today..."

"I know..." Hermione sniffled keeping her back to him. "I'm-I'm just going to go over to Harry and Ginny's until tonight...I...I just need to clear my head..."

"I'm sorry... please... Don't go..."

Hermione blinked back the tears coming to her eyes, "Just a little while okay...? I'll be back..." Even she didn't fully believe her words. Her confidence was waning, fickle and broken as it was.

"I'll be here..." Ron hung his head. "I love you..."

"Yeah...me too..." Hermione sniffled softly and wiped under her nose heading towards the door. She would be back. She always came back. Who else would have her? She needed answers, it was who she was. At least, that's who she remembered herself to be.

oOo

"Oh, my gosh..." Hermione had let herself into Harry's house when he hadn't answered her knock. He'd told her many times that she didn't need any reason to come over, that she was always welcome. She had used that privilege but hadn't expected what the door would open up to.

Beautiful magically floating fairy lights that shined down in a rainbow of gorgeous colors lined the entrance way leading all the way up to the stairs, she could see a banner as well draped over the landing reading: Happy Birthday Hermione. It was beautifully printed and seemed to sparkle on its own. As she came in further she could see a large two-tiered cake with white icing and strawberries all around the edges sitting under a preservation charm. It looked half finished with its decoration but her mouth was already watering to try it.

"A little higher, that's it."

Ginny's voice came from the living room and she made her way down. Her eyes going wide at the gorgeous decorations coming into place inside. Balloons in the shape of books hovered near the high ceiling, a small stack of presents were already sitting in front of the window on a transfigured table that had been covered with a clothe resembling a sunrise. Presently Harry and Ginny were trying to raise more fairy lights into the ceiling to give the room the same effect as the hallway had been.

"Oh, Harry this...this way too much..." Hermione covered the astonished smile with her hands. She could only imagine how beautiful everything would look when the sun went down. She could already tell it was going to be like stepping into a fairytale.

"Hermione!" Ginny turned her head with a look of surprise, "You're not supposed to be here yet!" She said her words with a giggling smile, coming around the couch to bring her into a hug. The girls shared a small but heartfelt embrace before Ginny led her out of the living room so Harry could continue working. Though he did call out a Happy Birthday as they left.

"Did Ron do something? Is that why you're here?"

Hermione made a small face, the shock of seeing the house so beautifully decorated in her honor sort of made the small argument she and Ron had had that morning feel silly. He'd actually had been a gentleman up until that point. He'd made her breakfast: strawberry pancakes, eggs, and bacon. He'd finished the laundry and even remade her bed for her while she enjoyed a long bath to ease her sore body. They hadn't moved from their position overnight and had nearly woken at the same time. Or rather, Ron bumping into the wall in his sleep-heavy confusion when he tried to sit up woke her. She'd had no dreams but her body had felt as though she'd been tense the entire night.

"We had a little... disagreement..."

"Was it the breakfast in bed? I thought that might have been a little much but I liked it when Harry-"

"No, it wasn't that." Hermione gave her a small smile keeping her pace as Ginny guided them into the kitchen. "Well... it's partially my fault...We were cleaning yesterday and...I sort of got upset when he gathered up Snape's cloak for a wash..." She could tell her friend was beyond curious as her brow had nearly disappeared into her hair, "But it turned out to be a good thing, I mean...we found this..." Hermione dug into her pocket pulling out the small sphere. "I think it's a portkey but I can't understand the writing on the side...I spent the evening trying to work it out..."

"You're still trying to find him?" Ginny's voice was much gentler than Ron's had been. Filled with surprise more than concern though the latter did linger lightly in the air.

"I have to Ginny. I...I need to know what happened that day. I know you and Harry have already filled in some of the bigger holes but the small ones are the ones that worry me so..." Hermione could feel the emotion she'd been bottling up for weeks coming to the surface making her throat tight. "He has my memories, I know he does...I saw his file at the Ministry... he's been listed as M.I.A..."

"M.I.A?"

"Missing in action. Even Shacklebolt, with all his resources, has been unable to find him...He was awarded the Order of Merlin, did you know?" Hermione sniffled heavily while Ginny shook her head that she hadn't had known, "He's a brave man...I can feel it...but I can't help but worry that...I might have made a mistake..."

"A mistake?" What could Hermione have possibly done that would lead her to believe that she'd done something wrong?

"What if...that day...when Harry saw him...he was still dying...?"

Ginny shook her head unable to follow her hidden logic.

"What if I hadn't gotten there in time...what if...he really is gone...? What if it had been someone else...someone he knew...trusted...that came to help me...?" Hermione could no longer force the words from her lips. Her tears spilled over to a deep sob that had her being pulled into Ginny's chest.

Ginny held her close, gently rocking her as she felt the girl release all the weight she'd been trying to carry alone. She ran her hand through her hair and rubbed her back soothingly letting her just get it all out. Harry had mentioned his concern over her missing memories to her but as she hadn't seen any outward signs that would have pointed to concern she had told him not to worry so much. That coupled with her brother's idiotic antics she had just assumed that it was he that was causing Hermione's stress.

"I'm sorry... It's my birthday...and you've all done so much for me and..."

"No, shhh, it's your birthday. You can cry if you want to." Ginny pulled her hair out of her face and lightly thumbed away a tear.

"Is this what was bothering you all summer?" Her question was soft and kind, spoken against the top of her head as she kept her close.

Hermione could only nod and wipe her nose. She felt like such a fool but at the same time, it felt so good for someone to understand even just a little. She let the rest of her tension just flow out into the cleansing silence as she rested against Ginny. It wasn't long but it was exceptionally healing.

"Come on, I think it's best I give you your birthday gift early..." Ginny helped her sit up and wiped away the rest of the tears that had reddened her face. "I got you a gift certificate to go to this wonderful spa just outside of London. It's run by goblins but I swear it's the best thing you'll ever experience aside from sex." Ginny giggle at Hermione's complexed look. "I'll even go with you, I didn't realize being Head Girl was going to be so stressful and I could definitely take this little break away from school to relax."

"You made Head Girl? That's amazing Ginny." Hermione perked up to the news, sitting up a bit straighter. She had already dashed that dream in her sixth year when the war had been building and her academic success had taken a back seat to just staying alive.

Yeah well, I still think you'd have been a better choice. Come on, it's still early I'm sure we could get in before it gets busy." Ginny pushed herself up and pulled Hermione up with her.

"Harry!? We're going out! Fred and George said they'd be here at 2 to help. Is your wallet still in the bowl by the door?" Ginny spoke as she walked leaving the poor man to scramble to try and catch up. Even as she spoke she'd already picked up the wallet and put it in her pocket. Harry had finally made it to the doorway when they'd made it to the front door. He gave a small smile to Hermione and called out a Happy Birthday before Ginny had pulled her through the door.

oOOo

"You look breathtaking. Red really is your color." Ginny nodded her head slowly, coming around to take in all of Hermione. They'd bought her a dress after the spa. Hermione was almost like her old self again, calm and relaxed. Ginny too had enjoyed a massage at Harry's expense but she sure she could make it up to him later. She did have a pass to stay overnight after all. She made another slow pass around while Hermione blushed softly.

"You don't think it's too much?" Hermione had let Ginny pick out the dress in the shop but even she had to concede to the modest yet elegant design. It reminded her of the dress she'd worn for Bill and Fleur's wedding. It had a modest neck and back with soft silver thread sewn throughout. It truly would have made any woman jealous. Ginny herself was even a bit envious of how well the dress accented her natural curves but she kept her thoughts to herself.

"Are you going to keep your hair up or down?"

"Down I think... though it has gotten a bit long..." Hermione shifted her head a little when Ginny pulled it behind her shoulder and they both paused to look at her reflection in the mirror. "What do you think?"

"I think you look like a warrior goddess with it down." Ginny fluffed the large curls before tilting her head, "Though if you wanted I think it would look just as nice up?"

"I think I do actually..." Hermione's smile faltered slightly. She felt a little guilty for having spent the entire day with Ginny when she was sure Ron had planned something. "I might even have a hair tie that would match the silver in this dress..."

"Do you want to run home and get it? The party's not scheduled to start for another 10 mins. I bet you could slip you out before anyone has a chance to see you."

"You really think I should?"

"It's up to you really." Gunny put a small charm on her hair pulling up half of the curls to rest at the back of her head.

"I think I should at the very least tell Ron he can still come...I know your Mom and Dad would like to see him at the very least..."

"Hermione. It's your birthday."

"You're right, you're right..." Hermione sighed softly and looked down at her hands for a long moment. She did have a ring she wanted to wear. It wasn't much but it was something to add to the amazing ensemble Ginny had gone out of her way to put together for her. "I guess I'll just see how he is when I get there...he did already apologize..."

"You are way too nice to him." Ginny put the final pin into her hair to keep it in place. "I would have kicked him in the head by now."

The two of them shared a small giggle before Ginny put out the low heels for Hermione to step into. "The small closet on the third floor isn't warded against apparation. You can sneak out through there."

"Thanks, Ginny..." Hermione wiggled her feet inside her shoes getting herself comfortable before glancing back into the mirror. She grabbed her small bag that she'd charmed to match her dress. It held her house keys and a few other key items she hadn't been able to part with recently.

For once, she actually felt pretty. Not beautiful no, but pretty. The light make-up hid away the darkness that was almost permanently under her eyes these days and had given a bit of color to her cheeks. The necklace Ginny had made out of the small charm she had found in Snape's cloak matched the dress beautifully. She would have to return the chain back to Ginny as it had been from the necklace Harry had given her for her birthday but for now, it was perfect.

Hermione gave Ginny a small hug before turning out of the room. They'd gone to her old room that looked almost as it had been minus all the books. She could hear Fred and George downstairs already playing with whatever they had brought with them as she went up one more floor. She moved down the hall going to the only door that wasn't open and cautiously looked inside.

It had been the right room, thankfully. She could actually see the small void from where Harry had canceled the protections. Their apartment had the basic of wards but the building itself was protected from all apparation. She'd have to focus on the alley just to the side to make it home. She closed her eyes and steeled her heart. She had to bring him. He was part of the family she had been very graciously adopted into. It would raise more questions than she had answers for if she left him behind.

Hermione turned out of the small alley. She didn't know why but she could almost feel something in the air. She couldn't put her finger on it but it was there. She shook her head to clear it as she made her way into the building. She took the lift to the top floor and started looking in her bag for her keys as she walked down the hall. She put the key into the lock without a thought and pushed open the door.

The living room was dark but she could see a light shining down the hallway. She put her keys back into her bag as she closed the door.

"Ron?"

A soft groan made her ears twitch and her brows furrow. Had he done something to himself? Given whatever potion mishap he'd managed last night she didn't think it was too outside of his realm of predictable behavior to attempt something foolish. The pressure she'd felt on the back of her neck when she'd gotten to the apartment seemed to increase as she moved down the hall. Her head tilted as she came to his door another soft moan flittered out and she found her hand pushing open his door.

All thought ground to a screeching halt as he came into view. Her mouth was still open mid-syllable to call out his name again. Her eyes had gone wide and her face pale. She couldn't even process what she was seeing. Or rather, who. She was seeing. Her eyes told her that she was watching herself moving between his knees, but her brain told her that couldn't have been possible.

He didn't even notice she was there. Standing right there, in the doorway. His eyes were closed and his mouth was slack-jawed as another deep moan filled the room. She didn't even register her name being called out. Her entire body felt like ice—and then she felt it. Something inside her had snapped. Shattering like a glass into an insurmountable amount of irrecoverably broken pieces.

She didn't see him open his eyes, nor the shock and horror on his face. Her body moved on its own, backing her out of the room to thump back against the wall on the other side of the hallway. Large tears ran down her face leaving her wide unfocused eyes glassy. She didn't hear him call out for her, nor see him push himself up hastily trying to cover his shame. The world was too loud. Filled with an immense ear-ringing silence.

She barely registered the hollow of her throat growing warm as her tears fell down her chin onto the charm, activating it. It wasn't until she felt the small pull indicative of a magical teleportation did her eyes lift up to meet with his. She couldn't tell what she was seeing. Only that she was never, going to see it again.