=/\=
Icheb concentrated on his studies. He was fully aware of how fortunate he was to be a cadet at Starfleet Academy. The Voyager crew members who remained in the Sol System treated him like a member of the family. Seven had accepted the responsibility of making him, quite literally, a member of her family through adoption. He'd been incredibly lucky when he'd been assigned to the same suite as Verit, Farys, and Austin. While a few people on campus may have resented him, Icheb's work ethic and general air of humility had won most of them over. He was respected for his intellectual achievements. Icheb didn't think his life could get any better.
It was all too good to last.
When Icheb stumbled, the cause was the usual elephant in the room for adolescents from any race which utilized single-cell reproduction. Despite Icheb's stated intention to remain free of romantic entanglements while studying at the Academy, his resolve was broken because of the way many other cadets "swooned" over his "face jewelry." It was inevitable. Icheb fell in love, or, at the very least, a reasonable facsimile.
Jolana Tor was enrolled in the same Basic Hand-to-Hand Combat class as Icheb. Although Jolana was Ktarian, she didn't look at all like Naomi Wildman. Instead of a row of protrusions on her forehead, she had bulges on each side of a narrow ridge. Her eyes, which were set deep, were a sparkling shade of green, like an Earth feline's. Her movements were fluid. Icheb was captaivated by her whenever they were close to one another.
Perhaps the physicality of the class they shared had something to do with it. On several occasions they'd been partnered, either as the defender or the aggressor, in practice combat situations. By the fourth time they were paired, Icheb thought their close proximity to one another was affecting his ability to breathe whenever they touched. After that fourth class, Jolana bumped into Icheb as they were exiting the classroom. She apologized, but her body leaned against Icheb's for much longer than necessary. Icheb became extremely flustered, aware of multiple changes in his body chemistry that had nothing to do with the environmental control settings in the corridor.
"I love your face jewelry," Jolana breathed in his ear. Icheb couldn't seem to find any way to respond as she slipped her hand inside his elbow and directed him down the corridor. Two hours later, after Jolana had invited him to her private room in Montgomery Scott Hall "to get better acquainted," Icheb was initiated into the joys of sexual intercourse.
As they cuddled with each other in her bunk afterwards, Icheb reviewed the fragments of memories inherited from other Borg's pre-assimilation memories and came to the conclusion that all those months ago, when Tom Paris told Icheb that those memories were nothing compared to what it was like to perform the actual act, Tom had been absolutely right.
Icheb decided he must be in love.
For the next few weeks, when Icheb wasn't in class or studying, he spent the bulk of his time with Jolana. The sex was marvelous. She taught him something new almost every time they were together. Getting to know her was a little more difficult, however. Jolana usually deflected talk away from herself in favor of flattering him. When they spoke casually, the subject always seemed to be his life on Voyager. He told her about the rescue from the ruined Borg cube, and how adjusting to the life and choices of an individual were difficult at first. He spoke about his little sister Mezoti, who'd remained behind in the Delta Quadrant with their other "Borglet siblings," other than baby Aimee. She asked questions about alien races and learned about Icheb's life on Quarra. While there were many experiences he was still reluctant to share with her, he assumed they'd share more with each other in time.
When he did venture back to his suite to spend any length of time with his suitemates, he told them how perfect his Jolana was. They listened politely, but not with the enthusiasm he'd expected. He knew Verit was unlikely to be jealous (or be willing to express it even if she was), but Farys only said Jolana was "pretty enough," and Austin told him, "If she lets you do all the talking, no wonder you think she's perfect."
About three weeks after their relationship began, Jolana started to open up a little more around Icheb. While she still didn't reveal much about life on Ktaria VII (she never called her native planet Ktaris, Icheb noticed), she did make little comments about other people they knew which Icheb sometimes thought were a bit harsh.
At one point, Jolana was quite dismissive of Icheb's "little friend from Voyager." At first he thought she was referring to Aimee Gilmore, since he'd been talking about how he used to take care of her when they were living on Quarra. Then he realized she might be referring to Naomi. When Icheb asked her to confirm the "little friend's" identity, she said, "The half-Ktarian, of course. She'll be pretty enough when she's grown up, but that's probably because she's half human. Her father's people, the ones who call our planet Ktaris, are very different from us. They're so boring. They don't know how to have fun. We do."
Icheb changed the subject on that occasion, but over the next couple of days, he realized that when Icheb wasn't speaking about himself - which was boring to him - Jolana made a lot of cutting remarks about other cadets, not to mention the professors. Always, "just between us, of course."
The following Friday evening, he told Jolana he had a paper to write and would be too busy to go out on Saturday or Sunday. "Oh, you poor dear. You won't have any fun at all, will you?" But she said she had her own work to do and would check with him on Sunday evening, in case he finished his assignment earlier than anticipated.
In fact, his paper was done shortly before noon on Saturday. Rather than let her know he was free, Icheb began to think about how suddenly his life had changed. While the sex was absolutely glorious, having to talk about himself all the time to prevent hearing his girlfriend's negative opinions about their acquaintances was not.
Farys and Austin were both visiting friends off campus that weekend, but Verit was there, as she usually was on weekends. Verit asked Icheb where his girlfriend was, and he said they both had "something else to take care of." She was not fooled. Verit asked Icheb what was bothering him. His first response was, "Nothing," but when Verit gave him that intense Vulcan stare of hers, he found himself "spilling his guts." After a brief pause, Icheb asked Verit what she really thought of Jolana Tor.
She gazed at him in the same measuring way he remembered from the first day they'd met. Finally, she broke her silence. "Icheb, you are a most unusual person - and not just because you are the only Brunali in this quadrant. Most males of my acquaintance wouldn't even notice if their lover seldom disclosed her own thoughts and always encouraged him to speak about himself. When she does share an opinion, from what you say, it's in the form of what humans call 'catty' remarks." Verit paused and added, "She does look somewhat feline."
A little stung, Icheb responded, "Isn't that comment a little catty, too, Verit?"
Verit raised her eyebrow in the subtle manner that showed amusement. "Perhaps it was, but you asked for my opinion of Jolana Tor. She does not impress me as being as attached to you as you are to her. You may enjoy the physical nature of your relationship, but I doubt it is likely to last for long. From my observations of you during the past few months, I find you are, by nature, very accepting of other people and their foibles. Your friendship with 'Quinton' is a prime example of this willingness to accept a person as they are, without judging them. I've never heard you make disparaging remarks about other people. You present yourself to others without pretense - or if you do, I've never seen you do it. If 'cracks' are beginning to show in your relationship, it is because you view people very differently from the way she does. You are open with others. She is as closed off as a Vulcan, not because she adheres to a philosophy like the one my people follow, but because she's hiding something from you. Such behavior is the opposite of true intimacy."
"Verit, how do you know all this? Is it something you've learned through meditation?"
"This has nothing to do with the practice of meditation, Icheb. When you described the way you spend your time with your girlfriend, you revealed this to me. It is as I've said - you're open with others and let them see your soul. I have been acquainted with Cadet Tor for almost two years. I've already formed my opinion of her. If you truly love her, your relationship will be difficult because of the fundamental differences between you. Are you in love with her?"
"I thought I was. I don't know anymore."
"You need to speak with her about this, Icheb. I predict she will not respond the way you'd like her to, but I may be mistaken."
Verit arose from the table and began to walk into her bedchamber, but she suddenly reversed course and said, "Icheb, I've never mentioned my practice of meditation to you or anyone else. I restrict this activity to the privacy of my room. How do you know about it?"
He sighed. "When you serve on a ship as small as Voyager, you notice things. Whenever you've reported you've had a difficult day, you retreat to your room. When you emerge, your equilibrium has been restored. I've also recognized a faint whiff of smoke I associate with a meditation lamp coming from your room. The same odor permeated Commander Tuvok's quarters whenever I entered it for a tutoring session. Everyone on Voyager knew he practiced meditation. He taught it to many of the crew. I made a logical deduction. Was I wrong?"
Verit returned to the seat at the table she'd just abandoned. "I find no fault in your logic. What else have you 'learned' about Vulcans during your time on Voyager?" The tone of her voice was mild, but Icheb heard an undertone of challenge in it.
"Please, don't take offense, but I know, contrary to popular opinion, that Vulcans experience emotions, sometimes very strong ones, which can be difficult to manage according to your culture's dictates. The practice of meditation is one method used to control them."
For a few minutes after Icheb's statement, the only sound in the room was that of the suitemates' breathing. When the rumble of circulating air erupted from the environmental control system vents, it was almost deafening. Shortly afterwards, Verit broke the spell of silence.
"Icheb Hansen, you are a very good person. I cannot tell you what to do about your relationship with Jolana Tor. You must decide that for yourself. If you wish to seek advice, your adoptive mother Annika Hansen undoubtedly would be a better resource than I. However, since you asked for my opinion, I will share it with you. You are wasting your affections on a person like Jolana Tor. She will not return them to the same degree that you bestow them on her."
=/\=
Icheb wasn't as certain as Verit that Seven could advise him on romantic matters, considering her relative lack of experience in that regard. As far as Icheb knew, other than her current partnership with Chakotay, her only other romance had taken place with Axum in the virtual reality setting of Unimatrix Zero. Icheb did love his mother, however, and whether she had any advice to give him or not, he knew he should confide his uneasiness about Jolana with her.
A week after he'd bared his soul to his Vulcan suitemate, Icheb contacted Seven, who invited him to spend Sunday afternoon with her. When Icheb learned Chakotay was also going to be there, he felt a little more confident that he'd receive a measure of guidance from the visit. Thanks to the rumor mill on Voyager, Icheb was aware of several romantic episodes experienced by the ship's first officer during the journey through the Delta Quadrant. He was also the man who might someday become his stepfather. Although when he was honest with himself, Icheb knew he felt closer to Tom Paris, or even Harry Kim, than he did to Chakotay, perhaps asking for Chakotay's opinion would help them build a closer relationship.
When Icheb arrived at the cottage that afternoon, however, he never felt comfortable enough to open a dialog with either Seven or Chakotay about Jolana. While Icheb didn't walk into a serious fight, like he did that time in Borg Central, as soon as Icheb walked inside the cottage, he sensed a tension between Seven and Chakotay. This was not a good time to speak about problems of a romantic nature to the couple, nor was it wise for Icheb to explore the question about when, or if, Chakotay planned to adopt him.
They shared a light meal, a salad for Chakotay and replicated nutritional supplements for Seven and Icheb. The conversation at the table was stilted. The primary subject discussed was which flowers the pair would choose to grow, as their garden was a relatively large one for the neighborhood. When Icheb suggested they go outside after dinner to map out where to plant their choices, neither Seven nor Chakotay were "in the mood" to do that this evening.
Not long after that, Icheb told them he needed to get back to his room to complete a project (an imaginary one, but they didn't need to know that). After taking his leave of Chakotay, he walked out of the house with his mother and asked Seven if everything was all right between them.
"Just a small disagreement," she replied. "You have no need to be concerned." Even more than the contents of her response, he was dismayed by the way she said it. Seven would have replied with the identical lack of inflection before the removal of her emotional inhibitor chip.
Icheb walked back to the campus to give himself the opportunity to reflect upon his perceptions. The disagreement, he was certain, was anything but small. He couldn't help but worry. The more he tried to ignore the signs of profound discord between Seven and Chakotay, the more concerned he became.
=/\=
When Icheb woke up several mornings later, he discovered a message Jolana had left for him over the Academy communications network. :::Icheb, it's been great, but it's not really working between us anymore, is it? You're a great guy. It's been fun. See you in class.:::
And it was over.
When Icheb came into their common room, Farys asked, sympathetically, "Icheb, are you okay?"
"Okay? Yes, I guess so."
"You look a little sick, ol' buddy. Hey, it happens to all of us. Better to break up now, before you get in too deep," Austin said, nodding sagely.
Icheb stopped in his tracks. "Breaking up? Yeah, we did break up. How did you know?"
Farys explained, "I saw Jolana draped all over Xerxes Mironov in Vanetti's Pizzaria last night. You broke up with her before last night, I hope?"
"I, uh, well, I only read her message this morning. I didn't notice what time she sent it."
"She broke up with you by sending you a message! By the Prophets! That's disgusting. Not that I'd expect any better from her. So are you okay? Really?"
Icheb took his accustomed seat at the table next to Austin and thought about Farys' question for a few moments. He was surprised to find his earlier answer, about being "okay," was accurate. "I guess I am. I'm disappointed it didn't work out between us, but I can't say I'm devastated, either. Maybe I'm just stunned."
Austin said, "Don't worry. You'll find someone a lot better than Jolana Tor. She's the type who doesn't stick with anyone for long. You were just a novelty boyfriend - another notch on her bedpost. From what I've heard, you're not the first guy she's thrown over without facing him in person. With that catchy face jewelry of yours, Icheb, you'll have to watch out for others like Jolana who just want to have a fling with Cadet Icheb Hansen from the very famous starship Voyager. You'd best watch out for them, Buddy."
Since Verit had previously expressed similar reservations about Icheb's choice of girlfriend, he turned to her and said, "You can say, 'I told you so,' Verit."
Verit's elegantly expressive eyebrow flicked upward but retreated to its normal position almost immediately. "There is no need. Your disappointment will be temporary. You knew this was coming weeks ago. She was not worthy of you, Icheb."
Icheb had to smile at her blunt, but accurate, assessment of how he felt. Icheb sighed, got up, and walked over to the replicator and fixed himself a hearty breakfast. He was very hungry and swiftly wolfed down two servings of banana pancakes.
"You're already over her," Austin joshed. "You sure haven't lost your appetite."
=/\=