I f Y o u C o u l d S e e I n t o M y S o u l
Chapter 2 - Take Me Home Tonight
B e l l a ' s P O V
I could hear little feet running back and forth down the hallway. The green numbers on my clock read 9:30 a.m. I groaned and rubbed my eyes.
The footsteps stopped outside and then I saw Cailee's tiny fingers poke underneath my door.
"Bella," Cailee sang in her idea of a whisper. I smiled to myself and stood up and stretched.
"Are you awake?" she asked me, her fingers dancing under the door.
"Yeah, bug. You can come in," I said as I let my hair down from the bun on my head. She threw the door open and ran and jumped on top of my bed. She hid herself under the blankets, giggling, as if she wasn't obvious.
"Where, oh where, did Cailee go?" I asked in a voice of mock shock. She giggled again and squirmed under the blankets.
I slowly pulled the blanket down, listening to her giggles, and gasped when I found her. And then I started tickling her, my hands on her sides, feet, under the chin; all the places that I knew would make her laugh.
"Stop, stop," she squealed, kicking her legs. I relented and she sat up, breathing heavily.
"That wasn't very nice," she pouted, and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Sorry, bug," I said and kissed her forehead.
"Daddy, arrest her!" she said suddenly, pointing at me.
I looked up to see my dad glaring at me from my doorway. Wow, I thought, if looks could kill….
Without a word, he left my doorway and silently went back to his own room. I bet he was really feeling last night now. He came home completely drunk, stumbling and breaking a few picture frames. The girl that he came home with looked like she was my age. She giggled as they went into his room, but left ten minutes later, her laughter replaced with a scowl. I crept to his door and saw that he had passed out face down on his bed. I quietly closed his door and went back to my room.
It wasn't the first time it had happened, and to say the least, my father had a very healthy sex life. Not quite the way I imagined the Police Chief to act. But I didn't understand his hypocrisy when it came to Sage and I.
My mom and he were married at 19 and had me only a few month later. Sage and I were always safe, and we did it so show the other how much we loved them.
I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "What do you want to make for breakfast, Cail?" I wondered to distract myself.
She put a finger to her chin, thinking. "Pancakes!"
"Pancakes again? Why not French toast?" I tried to persuade.
She nodded excitedly and bounced out of my room, singing.
I quickly made my bed and threw on Sage's hoodie, breathing in the scent of him. Just as I was leaving my room, my cell phone began ringing. The caller ID said it was Alice.
I slid the phone open and put it to my ear. "Hi."
"Good morning! Are you prepared for today's shopping extravaganza?" Alice squealed.
Not even a little bit. "Uh, sure," I said lamely as I trudged down the stairs.
"You had better be," she huffed.
I started poking around in the fridge, pulling out all the necessary ingredients . "I am, Alice, promise."
"Good," she trilled, "I will see you and Cailee promptly at 11:30."
I rolled my eyes. "Of course, Alice, see you soon."
We said goodbye and hung up. Cailee watched me from the kitchen table as I knowingly made breakfast.
I smiled at her. "Do you want to help?"
Her eyes lit up and she bounced to my side. I lifted her up on the counter and handed her the loaf of bread.
Cailee managed to not make too much of a mess with breakfast. I hurriedly cleaned the table of the sticky syrup and washed and put away the dishes. I put the leftover food in the fridge and bounded upstairs.
"Belly?" Cailee asked as I passed her room.
I backtracked and stuck my head in. She had on a plaid purple dress that went down to her knees. She tried to reach behind her to zip it, but gave up with a frustrated sigh. I zipped it the rest of the way for her and then brushed and put her hair up in two French braids.
"Go brush your teeth," I instructed and she skipped down the hallway.
I went to my room and closed the door behind me. I had twenty minutes to get ready, and that left me ten minutes to get to Alice's. I pulled on a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, and a flowy yellow racer back shirt that Alice had gotten me for my birthday last year. I fastened the locket around my neck and picked up my ring. My Bella, was the inscription. Smiling, I slipped it on my ring finger of my right hand. I stepped into my Converse, grabbed my wallet, phone, and keys and brushed my own hair and teeth before I went downstairs.
"Cailee, let's go," I called as I grabbed her and I a sweater off the hooks by the side door.
She slid into a pair of sandals and I helped her into the sweater.
I left a note for my dad on the kitchen table:
Breakfast is in the fridge. Cailee and I will be out with Alice and Mrs. Brandon. Be back later. Maybe. -Bella
I slipped into my own sweater and slammed the door shut behind me.
I pulled into Alice's driveway just as the clock read 11:30 and smiled in triumph. Alice danced out of her house and down the steps towards my car.
"Hey cutie," she said to Cailee and gave her a hug.
Cailee took her hand as she walked over to me. She threw her arms around me, much stronger than I expected. I hugged her back quickly.
"Is that who I think it is?" Mrs. Brandon's voice came from the porch.
Cailee's face lit up and she ran into her waiting arms.
"This can't be Cailee. She was such a tiny little thing when I saw her last," Mrs. Brandon joked.
"It's me!" Cailee promised.
Mrs. Brandon situated her on her hip and then walked to me. She gave me a one-armed hug and kissed my cheek.
"I've missed you, dear," she said gently and squeezed my arm.
I smiled faintly, not meeting her eyes.
Mrs. Brandon was like the mother we never had and that was why I stayed away; I couldn't go through that loss again, or make Cailee go through it at all. If our real mother would up and leave on command, who's to say a stand-in mother wouldn't?
I immediately pushed the thought out of my mind, a chagrined blush crawling into my cheeks.
"Well, then, we're ready to go, yes?" she wondered, tickling Cailee's side.
Cailee squealed and squirmed, "Yes!"
Mrs. Brandon brought Cailee's forehead down and kissed it. Cailee threw her arms around her neck and pulled herself as close as she could. My heart squeezed uncomfortably in my chest.
A slushee, bag of Pixi Stix, and two packs of Silly Bands later, both Cailee and Alice were more than bouncing off the walls. Alice spoke so fast I wondered how her lips didn't go numb from the vibrations. Cailee nearly ran through the mall; Mrs. Brandon and I struggled to keep up with her.
Alice and I currently meandered through Aerie. I pretended to pay attention to what she was saying, but couldn't seem to have the patience, or truly care.
"…I just think that if you're going to be very active in that department, you should look beautiful for the few seconds before he tears it off, you know? And I don't mean to offend you, but I've seen some of your underwear, and, honey, you need some serious help. But really, I'm not trying to offend you, I'm just stating a fact. And-"
I cut her off with a restraining hand on her arm. "Please tell me we are not discussing my level of sexual activity or what I choose to…wear as it happens."
She only stared back at me with big hazel doe eyes. My face flamed.
"Alice how is that any of your business?" I hissed.
She huffed and put her hands on her hips. "I told you I wasn't trying to offend you, just help you."
Before I could say anything more, she dropped her arms and squealed. "Rose?"
I turned to find Rosalie, attached to Emmett like a second skin, entering the store.
"Alice? Bella?" she smiled, "What are you doing here?"
Alice sent me a pointed glare. "Well, I'm just trying to help-"
"Alice!" I snapped, shooting daggers at her. She pouted but danced over to Rose to give her a hug.
Emmett winked, looking far too comfortable in the store. "Don't worry Bella, I won't tell anyone."
I rolled my eyes. Emmett would tell everyone. Regardless, I ventured over to them to give then both a hug. The friendship that had sprung up between us was growing strong, but no rival to Alice and I.
"So, Alice," Rose began, with a devious smile in my direction, "do you need any help, helping?"
Alice squealed and grabbed Rosalie's hand, dragging her to a nearby rack of…scraps of material. Emmett snickered and grabbed a particularly risqué red piece next to him. "What about this one guys?"
I scowled, my face flaming yet again. I opened my mouth for a facetious comment, but stopped when I heard a sound that would stop me dead in my tracks anywhere. Alice's head whipped up to meet my frazzled expression before I sprinted out of the store, towards the sound of Cailee's agonized cry.
The first things I noticed when I found her were, one: she wasn't standing, two: Mrs. Brandon wasn't there, but she wasn't alone, and third: the blood that ran down from her mouth.
I slowed my sprint to a staggered walk and started to softly say her name. Her eyes met mine and I gasped. It looked as though she had bitten through her lip. I hardly noticed the copper head of hair next to me, or the static charge that had begun. I didn't notice Mrs. Brandon, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, or Rosalie. All I noticed was how obvious it was in that moment that we didn't share the same father.
Regardless, I got down on my knees and took her face in hands, twisting it this way and that to better examine the wound.
"Cailee, bug, tell me what happened," I murmured.
Her bottom lip quivered and she reached up to put her finger in her mouth like she usually did, but stopped when it touched her lip. She brought her hand in front of her, examining it, before bursting into another round of tears.
"She fell," an anxious velvet voice said beside me.
I turned my head and saw Edward, scrutinizing Cailee as if he were a doctor. He turned his head and our eyes met. My heart stopped, and started again double time. I gasped for air while my head swam under his gaze. I forgot everything: the people watching us, Cailee, who I was, my name. And then, all too soon, he looked away. I blew out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding and turned my attention back to Cailee, my face growing hot.
I managed to stutter out a question pertaining to her injury that I forgot immediately.
"I don't think she'll need stitches, but she'll need to go to the hospital to be sure," he murmured.
I nodded my head and stood up stiffly. I grabbed Cailee up in my arms and walked as quickly as I could with her in my arms.
I tried not to pay attention to the words that were being said behind me, and failed.
"Is that her daughter?" Emmett asked, no attempt at keeping his voice down. There was a muted smack and an 'ow.'
"That's her sister," Alice hissed, and the same time I strained to hear Mrs. Brandon say, "She might as well be."
I found my car easily enough, glad that we had decided to drive separately. I sat Cailee in the backseat and pressed the napkin tighter to her lip. And for the first time, I worried. Because I didn't want to leave her back there alone, but I had to drive. I gnawed on my lip and pushed my hand through my hair desperately.
Someone put a hand on my shoulder, causing me to jump and whirl, both from the unexpected touch and the spark; I came face to face with Edward.
He smirked, though his green eyes were still anxious. "You didn't think I'd let you go alone, did you?"
I didn't say anything but handed him the keys and climbed in the backseat with Cailee.
He drove much faster than I would have, weaving dangerously through traffic. Cailee's tears slowed, the only sound she made now was the occasional sniffle or whimper.
The hospital came into sight much too soon and, again, I worried. I didn't want to call Charlie, but someone needed to be here.
Edward pulled into a parking space that looked reserved for hospital personnel, but I didn't say anything. Though, the last thing I needed was a parking ticket.
I grabbed Cailee out of the car and followed quickly behind Edward as we made our way to the Emergency Room. We walked through the revolving door and halted our quick movements when we looked around. There wasn't an empty seat anywhere.
Edward cursed softly under his breath but took Cailee out of my arms and muttered, "Follow me."
A few nurses watched him walk by, but to my amazement, didn't object to him waltzing right on through. We walked down a hallway that had offices on each side. Edward stopped outside of one that was open long enough to peer inside and ensure it safe, but not long enough for me to read the name.
He shut the door behind me and the stunningly gorgeous doctor looked up with a confused face. He had blond hair and the same piercing green eyes as Edward. Then I glanced down at the name plate on his desk and swallowed the name: Carlisle Cullen. Edward's dad.
"Carlisle, I need your help," Edward spoke tersely.
Dr. Cullen stood up behind his desk and slowly came around to meet us, looking us over. I realized that both of our shirts were stained red from Cailee's blood. He looked to Cailee in Edward's arms and nodded.
"Follow me, Edward," he spoke softly, as if afraid speaking too loud would shatter us.
We followed him down the hallway to an empty exam room. Edward placed Cailee on the bench covered in crackly paper and stepped aside for me to take his place.
Cailee took in her surroundings hesitantly, and brokenly whispered, "Bella?"
I brushed fallen strands of hair out of her face. "Yes?"
Her eyes welled and her bottom lip quivered. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."
I was shaking my head before she had said more than two words. "Cailee, it was not your fault. You fell sweetheart, sometimes that happens. I'm not mad at you, only worried."
She nodded and fell silent again. The only sound in the room was that of running water, and I noticed Dr. Cullen washing his hands at a tiny sink. Edward sat in a chair in the far corner of the room, his head tiredly in his hands.
Dr. Cullen placed a hand on my shoulder, and I stepped to the side to make room for him. He smiled sweetly at Cailee as he prepared.
"What's your name, sweetheart?" he asked quietly.
Cailee wiped at her eyes and sniffled, "Cailee."
"Cailee, how old are you?" he wondered, never leaving her eyes, as he dabbed some liquid on a cotton ball.
She brought her finger to her lip, but Dr. Cullen brought it back down with his own hand and a slight shake of his head. "Um, five and a half."
His eyes widened in mock shock. "Really? You're awfully brave. When my son was your age, he cried every time we went to the doctor."
I bit my lip to hold back my laughter as Edward scowled at the back of Dr. Cullen's head. Cailee beamed at the compliment. Dr. Cullen brought the cotton ball full of liquid to Cailee's mouth and began to gently clean away the blood.
She flinched occasionally, and I could tell that she so badly wanted to put her finger in her mouth; her own form of comfort. Dr. Cullen talked amicably to her while he worked, being as gentle as was possible. Cailee responded when she could, her fear subsiding with Dr. Cullen's soft-spoken voice. I stood by her side, holding her hand, squeezing back when she needed it.
Finally, when her mouth was less macabre, he turned to me. "She's not going to need stitches, but I will need to cover the wound." He held up a tiny bottle as he explained, "This is more or less a liquid bandage. It will cover it and you won't have to worry about it falling off or having to change it."
He turned back to Cailee who watched him with rapt curiosity. I gnawed my bottom lip until it was raw, yanking my fingers through my hair harshly, trying to be strong for Cailee's benefit and knowing that I was failing miserably.
Dr. Cullen brought the brush to her lips, never breaking eye contact. Cailee flinched away when it touched her and whimpered. I bit harder on my lip and squeezed her hand back.
He did a few quick, gentle strokes, being careful to cover every millimeter of the cut. I watched as the liquid went from glistening to flat in a matter of seconds. Dr. Cullen gave me a satisfied smile and peeled the gloves off of his hands.
"Thank you so much Dr. Cullen," I said earnestly as I lifted Cailee back into my arms.
With a brilliant smile he said, "It was my pleasure…"
"Bella," I finished and put my hand out for him to take.
His hand enveloped mine carefully, as if I would shatter. He squeezed it gently and let it go again.
"I'm going to get a mild pain killer for Cailee to take and I'll be right back," he said softly to me, and turning to Edward added, "Would you like to take them back to my office?"
Edward nodded once and came to my side. Dr. Cullen exited silently and I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. Cailee tugged at the strap of my shirt and I looked down at her.
"It hurts," she whispered softly and brought her finger to her lip.
I pushed her finger away and kissed her forehead. "I know, bug. Dr. Cullen is going to give you something to make it better, okay?"
She nodded and gently laid her head on my shoulder.
Edward held the door open for me and then lead us back to the pristine office that looked more like a Dean's office than a Doctor's. He shut the door behind us and gestured to a plush couch for me to take. I sat down, laying Cailee more comfortably so her head was resting in the crook of my neck. I hummed to her quietly so as not to disturb Edward, who was pacing the room.
"Thank you," I whispered after a few minutes of tense silence.
Edward stopped pacing and turned to face me, a small smile playing around his lips. "You're welcome."
I returned the smile nervously, suddenly finding myself thinking over the situation. How did I wind up here with Edward? Shouldn't it be Sage instead of Edward, who was now walking slowly over to me and sitting down? And why was my heart beating out of my chest? Why were my palms sweating? Why was a sudden blush coloring my cheeks for no reason? Where did the electricity come from? I bit my lip and raked my fingers through my hair yet again.
Edward surprised me by pulling my lip from my teeth with a gentle swipe of his thumb. "If you don't stop, you're going to wind up in that exam room again."
I licked my lip which suddenly felt as though it had caught fire. I noticed that we had been unconsciously leaning towards each other, and we straightened up as the door opened. Edward stood again, and I did so awkwardly with Cailee nearly asleep in my arms.
Dr. Cullen took note of Cailee and spoke quietly as he handed me a bottle of pills. "It's a slightly more potent Tylenol. It will ease her pain and she'll most likely sleep. And, Bella, for the record, could you tell me how, exactly, this happened?"
I was quiet for a moment in shock that he thought I had something to do with this. I looked to Edward with an 'are you fucking serious right now?' expression. He didn't notice me for he was glaring at his father.
"She fell," we said at the same time.
Dr. Cullen arched a brow.
I sighed in annoyance, hefting Cailee higher in my arms. "Dr. Cullen, she's a little girl. She was running through the mall and she fell. I'm sorry, but that's all that happened."
He smiled tightly. "I'm sorry Bella; standard procedure, I assure you."
I nodded once and returned the smile. "Thank you, Dr. Cullen. I really appreciate all you've done."
"My pleasure," he said politely with a sincere smile as he led us out the door.
Once the door clicked shut, Edward relaxed. He chuckled at me struggling to hold Cailee and took her out of my arms. I shook them a little, trying to make them feel less heavy. I kept shooting glances at him as we walked, trying to figure out if he felt it too. No, he couldn't. I sighed. It wouldn't matter if he did. I have Sage. I love Sage. Who are you trying to convince? I grimaced at the thought. It felt like Sage and I were drifting apart, but it was a terrifying prospect; he was, more or less, my life.
We reached my car and I unlocked it as Edward buckled Cailee in the backseat. I went around to the driver side and noticed a pink slip of paper under the windshield wiper. I ripped it out angrily and stared in horror at the amount scribbled down: $500.
The paper was taken out of my hand and I turned around to find Edward smiling down at me. "Would you like me to drive?"
I held out the keys and my hand. "Can I have the ticket?"
"That ticket was not your fault, you will not be paying for it," he said determinedly, snatching the keys out of my hand.
I scoffed and folded my arms across my chest. "Edward, please," I said, ignoring the fluttering in my stomach, the thrill of saying his name, "It's my car, I'll take care of it."
"You'll do no such thing," he smiled as he climbed in the car.
I huffed as he started the car and stomped to the passenger side. He chuckled at my angry expression and rolled the windows down as he backed up. I stared out my window, ignoring him as much as was possible with the damn electricity flowing.
He sighed. "Bella, come on. I have that much in my wallet right now, it's honestly no big deal."
I stared at him with wide eyes. He backtracked. "Okay, so maybe not that much. But I have the money."
"Edward Cullen is rich," I murmured, mostly to myself, but he heard anyway.
"Not just rich," he smirked, trying to lighten the mood, "loaded."
"Really," I said disinterestedly.
He chuckled and glanced in the rearview mirror. "Well, it's my father's, and if you want to get technical, my mother's. Her parents were fantastic business owners. When they passed, everything went to her, and when she passed, it all went to him."
I nodded and continued to stare out the window, my mind lost in thought.
"I'm really not helping, am I?" he wondered.
I gave him a tight smile. "Sorry, I have a lot on my mind."
"Anything you want to talk about?" he asked quietly, sincerely.
I smiled genuinely this time. "Thank you, that's very sweet. But it's just stupid girl stuff. I'll talk to Alice later."
He chuckled. "Well, alright."
I turned the radio on after that to distract myself, and found that Edward and I had quite similar taste in music. We discussed and debated the rest of the ride over our favorites.
We pulled up to a great white house. Edward put the car in park and stepped out, opening my door for me. The house was three levels, tucked back in the trees. The space was immaculate.
"I guess you weren't kidding about being loaded," I murmured.
He shrugged. "It's not much. My mom designed it and a friend built it."
He stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocked forward on the balls of his feet. "Well, I guess I'll see you Monday."
He turned for his house and without thinking, I reached out and grabbed his wrist. He stopped and turned, staring at my hand before meeting my eyes.
"Thank you, really, for everything. I don't think anyone else would have done what you did," I said sincerely.
He twisted our hands so he was now holding mine. He brought it to his lips for a soft kiss. "My pleasure."
He winked before turning again. I shook my head. "A gentleman too."
I watched him disappear into his house before leaving. On the ride home I found myself listening to songs he had declared his favorites, and noticed that they were all the songs Sage hated. Sage who? Who are you kidding, Isabella, you're head over heels for him.
I smacked my hand against the steering wheel. "I love Sage."
I turned down my street and saw the car. I should have kept driving, but something in me, maybe the masochist, pulled up by the curb and got out, leaving the car running.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I demanded, slamming my door shut.
"Nice to see you too, Isabella. What a way to greet your dear old mom," Renee laughed with a puff of her cigarette.
"You're no mother of mine," I hissed.
"Bella?"
I turned back to my car to see Cailee climbing out, rubbing her eye with a fist.
"Cailee, get back in the car," I said through my teeth.
She froze, her eyes locked with Renee.
"Cailee! Baby! Come to mommy," Renee sang, squatting down and opening her arms.
Cailee put her finger to her lip, staring back at her blankly.
"Well, come on you little shit, I don't have all day," Renee spat taking another drag of her cigarette and getting back to her feet.
"Don't talk to her like that," I seethed.
She laughed. "And who's going to stop me? It sure as fuck won't be you."
"Cailee, go get daddy."
"Ooh, I'm so scared. You're going to tell the big bad Sheriff on little old me. Please," she scoffed, throwing down the cigarette butt, "Charlie won't do shit."
"Renee, come on, let's just go," Phil said from the driver's side of the car.
"Shut the fuck up and mind your own damn business. We'll go when I'm finished here," she barked. Phil shook his head and looked away.
"Renee," Charlie said from the front porch.
Cailee ran out from behind his legs and straight to me. I took her hand and led her back to the car. I strapped her in just as the shouting match started. Phil got out of the car and tried to push Renee back in, throwing glances at Cailee, who looked so much like him. I jumped in my car and sped off before I could hear another word.
I was at Alice's house in a matter of minutes. I hastily through the car in park and exited. I could feel it all building. With one word, one look, I would lose it. I nearly ran up the walkway and banged on the front door. Cailee looked up at me with huge eyes, my own beginning to tear.
Alice opened the door and immediately drew me into a hug. I pushed her off and took a step back.
"Watch Cailee," I pleaded, fumbling backwards.
She nodded. "Bella…."
I shook my head furiously and ran back to my car. And then I drove. I drove until the yellow lines all blurred together and then entirely disappeared beneath the car. I drove until I was numb. I drove the memory, the uncertainty, Phil's face out of my mind. I drove the feelings I had with Edward out and ones with Sage in. I made a wide left turn and found myself on a dirt road leading to a pond.
I barely put the car in park before I turned it off and scrambled out of the car, needing nothing around me. It didn't take long. A sob ripped through me so violently I thought I was going to be sick. I fell to my knees, my head in my hands as the day flashed back to me. Every casual touch with Edward felt the same as every intimate touch with Sage. My fucking mother showing up and ruining everything.
I was vaguely aware of a car pulling up behind me but I didn't have the strength or will to stop; I was already in too deep. I cried harder the second I felt the electricity.
"You f-followed me," I said shakily to the dirt beneath me.
I felt rather than saw him sit down next to me. "I was dropping off Jasper at Alice's the same time you were leaving."
A sob ripped through me then, not letting me answer. I couldn't find it in me to be upset with him for following me, anyway. I bowed until the dirt met my forehead. It felt as though someone had taken my brain and ripped apart everything I had known, and then decided that wasn't enough and cut a hole in my heart. My entire body ached with each sob and I couldn't even try to care that Edward was watching one of my 'episodes'.
He put a hand on my back and that was all that it took for me to snap out of it. He rubbed it gently and eventually I found that it mended the hole in my heart. It pieced together the pieces of my brain that were destroyed. I didn't know what Edward was to me.
But I knew then that he meant more to me than Sage. Just a simple touch and I was his. Deciding I couldn't possibly be anymore pathetic, I crawled into his lap and tried to ease my breathing.
And then I told him everything. The entire story, not leaving out one single detail. Every secret about my mother, and Cailee. The way I was so attached to Sage. How I pushed everyone I loved away. He simply held me and listened, which was exactly what I needed right then.
And when I calmed down enough to breath again, I realized that I may have loved Sage, but that was the past.
The present and future was that I love Edward.
A/N: Yay! Umm, I don't have much to say. I'm late, it's tired. I guess that's pretty much it…. Some pretty scary realizations going on. Reviews boost the ego, make writer happy, writer writes faster. Just sayin'. Tell me what you thought. Did it suck?
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XO Kelly