A/N: Themes of self harm are mentioned in this chapter. Also, things for Edward and Bella are about to get sweeter...or should I say sour? ;) See you at the end!

If You Could See Into My Soul

Chapter 11 – Water

Edward's POV

Bella was distant.

Withdrawn? Absent? Whatever you wanted to call it, she was different.

It had been almost two weeks since the Cailee disaster, and though things were okay now, Bella wouldn't let go of the blame. Charlie had been released, needing to attend parenting classes to appease the legal system. And Cailee was returned to him, barely gone 24 hours in total.

Renee, well. Renee was facing a sentencing trial for going against court orders. And although Bella was pleased to not have to worry about Renee, she couldn't shake the guilt weighing her down. That, coupled with the medication she'd resumed taking, and it was as though Bella was vacant. A shell. Lost in a fog inside her own mind.

Getting her to laugh lately had been nearly impossible, let alone pulling a smile from her. I could understand her feelings, really, I could. But she was starting to freak me out. Anytime I asked if I could do anything to help, she shrugged me off. And she kept what had happened that day to herself, confusing the hell out of our friends with her behavior. I had a suspicion Jacob knew more than he let on, because he watched her almost as closely as I did.

I resumed picking her up for school because she had confided that the medication made her 'fuzzy.' She said she could hardly focus. It was for my benefit just as much as hers that I drove us to school. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to her that I could prevent. I knocked on her bedroom door, hearing only silence.

The house was quiet. Charlie had started to really give a crap about Cailee these past couple weeks. He now insisted on driving her to and from school. Bella said that they had played a game of 'Go Fish' over the weekend, totally out of character for him. He had even begun to take interest in Bella's life, asking her more often how she was feeling, how her friends were. He'd properly introduced himself when I had come over to do homework with Bella, and it was hard to imagine that the man had struggled keeping his shit together beforehand.

"Bella? Honey?" I pushed the door open slowly, greeted by darkness. The only light in the room came from stray beams of sun coming in through the covered window.

She was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the floor. It was the second time this week she hadn't been ready when I picked her up, the fifth time over the past two weeks. She tried to brush me off, saying that she was just too tired to get out of bed, and that maybe I should go to school without her. I wasn't buying it.

"Bella, we have to get going, love. We're going to be late again." I flipped the switch on the wall, illuminating her small bedroom. She flinched under the harsh light, regarding me warily. Her eyes were full of unshed tears, something else that wasn't all that unusual lately. The girl that had hardly cried before never seemed to go more than a day without letting the tears fall. She was one big ball of emotion. Christ, seeing her cry hurt more than anything.

"I-I'm sorry," she croaked, sniffling. I couldn't even begin to count the times she had apologized lately, for what, I had no fucking clue. She scrubbed a hand over her face, rubbing a finger over the edge of her blanket with her free hand. Her hair was a knotted mess, her skin pale save for her flushed cheeks. Even an emotional wreck, she was beautiful. It was alarming how much I loved her.

"Hush, baby. You have nothing to be sorry for." I set to work picking out clothes for her, as I had habitually lately. The first time I found her not ready for school, I even had to dress her, forcibly pulling her from bed. She had cried so hard that I debated letting her stay home and staying with her. But after ten minutes of persuasion, I dressed her myself, and she calmed considerably, exhausted from fighting me. She didn't even have the energy to blush as I undressed and redressed her. And she refused to meet my eyes as I took in her scar covered thighs; a conversation for another time, I had decided.

"I can do it," she murmured. She took the clothes from my hand and disappeared down the hall to the bathroom. I sat on the side of her bed, sighing. I had never felt so exhausted before. Not that I would ever complain about taking care of her, especially because she so rarely let me before all of this mess. But I missed my spit-fire. I'd done enough reading up on her medication to know she would come back to me eventually. I just had to be patient.

She returned to the bedroom dressed, but she hadn't touched her hair. She had forgone the sweater I picked out and chose instead to wear one of mine. I couldn't explain the pride I felt for her having made a pronouncement on her own, even one so small as switching one sweater for another. She'd been just ghosting through her life, being led by myself, mostly. She had pushed everyone else out of proximity for the time being.

The small decision seemed to fatigue her, and she returned to her perch on the side of the bed, next to me. I snagged the hair brush from her dresser, pulling it gently through her tangled tresses. I pulled the strands into a quick, messy attempt at a braid. She felt with her fingers when I was finished, an endeavor at a smile pulling up one corner of her mouth.

I pulled her to her feet and down the stairs. She stepped into a faded pair of Vans, and I tied the laces while she ran her fingers through my hair, pushing it away from my forehead.

"Your hair is getting long," she commented softly as I stood. She sat at the kitchen table as I ordered her to, bringing her a glass of orange juice and a granola bar. Even though Charlie had taken more interest lately, he still had not done any sort of domestic duties, such as grocery shopping. The cupboards and fridge were sorely lacking anything truly nutritional. I made a mental note to stop at the store soon.

"Yeah, I really need to cut it." I raked a hand through my aforementioned longer hair, annoyed when it fell again over my forehead. I attempted to tuck the length under my beanie, though it did not stay.

She sipped the juice and took a small bite of the granola bar at my insistence, but she held no interest in finishing either. Sighing, I decided not to argue with her this morning as she seemed to be in an almost good mood. I didn't want to sour the day for her.

"Alright, love, let's get going." I gathered her backpack and took her hand in mine as we exited the house. As I settled in the driver seat I took her hand once more. That was another thing she asked for lately – more physical contact. She spoke of feeling as though she wasn't truly in her body, like she was a spectator to her own life. Small touches – me holding her hand, hugs, kisses – helped her stay focused and present. 'Grounded,' as she told me.

I certainly didn't have a problem with it. Jacob and Rosalie had also provided her with gentle touches when they could, never asking why she requested them. Alice, however, had seemed to keep her distance as of late, seemingly annoyed or angry with Bella. Again, I wondered how much our friends knew that Bella hadn't outright shared.

Once Bella was seated in first period, I kissed her softly. "I'll meet you after class."

She nodded, glancing behind me to watch Alice enter the room. Alice took her seat next to Bella, shocking the hell out of me when she reached across the aisle to take Bella's hand. Bella offered a sad smile that Alice returned.

"Go on, Edward. I've got her," Alice promised. She offered me the same gloomy smile, but I frowned, unsure what Alice knew and how she knew it. Bella and I would have to talk later. I planted one last kiss on Bella's forehead, reiterating that I would walk her to her next class. I didn't have to say it – it had become routine for us, but I said it anyway.

"Alright, alright, you'll see each other after class. Cullen, get out of here. You're not heading off to war."

I rolled my eyes at Mr. Abshire, barely resisting the urge to flip him the bird, but left anyway. Students snickered as I exited the classroom. Forty-two minutes until I saw Bella again.

No big deal.

!#$#!

Bella had grown more detached, any remnant of her possible good mood vanished. Her and Alice had 'talked,' and by talked, I mean Alice hurled truths at Bella she couldn't deny. Alice was mostly hurt Bella hadn't told her herself, having instead found out from Jacob. Alice now knew the whole truth – the Charlie and Renee situation, just as well as Bella's struggle with her medication. I wasn't sure how Jacob had found out, except maybe for the fact that his father was good friends with Charlie. I wondered if Charlie would even want to divulge his personal goings on, though, then decided he must have.

Bella hadn't eaten lunch and wasn't touching the food quickly growing cold in front of her now. Trying to goad a reaction from her, I snagged a fry from her plate. She stared blankly at the plate, brow furrowed, then pushed it towards me.

"Aren't you going to eat?" I implored. "I can make you something else. Just tell me what you want."

She shook her head. Pieces of hair had come loose from my poorly done braid, and they fell around her face in waves. She hunkered down in the chair, pulling her knees up to her chest. I met Esme's gaze over Bella's head, where she stood at the island. Esme pursed her lips before opening the freezer, withdrawing two cartons of ice cream.

Esme was a stickler for rules, one of which being no dessert before dinner. But being that Bella had joined us for dinner every night this week and had hardly had a full meal with all days combined, I think Esme was just as desperate as I was to see her eat anything.

"Bella? Can I interest you in a dish of ice cream, perhaps?" Esme's tone was kind, soft. She spoke as though approaching a startled animal, afraid Bella may run if she acted too quickly. Esme tucked loose strands of hair behind Bella's ear, and I watched tears pool in Bella's eyes.

"I have mint chocolate chip or cookie dough," Esme tempted. Bella's eyes flickered to hers and back down to our joined hands, hidden as they were in the sleeve of the too big sweatshirt.

Bella bit her lip. "Could I…" She looked to me again, and I nodded in encouragement, softly smiling. She could have whatever she wanted. She need only ask. "Could I have a little of each?"

"Of course, dear." Esme stood and dished ice cream for the both of us. 'A little' in Esme's eyes was a large bowl full, but Bella didn't protest when she set it in front of her. Tentatively, she gathered a small bit on her spoon and brought it to her lips.

She paused before withdrawing the utensil, and I was instantly worried she would push this away also. Instead, she smiled. A real smile, small as it was, and she took another spoonful. "Thank you, Esme. It's delicious."

Esme and I both exhaled. Seeing her eat something calmed me exponentially, and I too indulged in the frozen dessert. Esme smiled in relief and left quietly, turning in for the night.

Bella finished all of her ice cream and the remainder of mine. She licked the spoon when she was done, and it sparked a fire low in my belly. How I ached to be that spoon. Her tiny pink tongue slipped out between her plump lips, licking the sticky sweetness from the edges of her mouth.

"More?" I inquired. If she would only eat ice cream, then I would give her as much as she wanted. Especially if it meant watching her lick the spoon afterwards.

She shook her head, smiling again. There was a sparkle to her eyes I hadn't known was missing suddenly reappeared. She looked at me as if the fog had lifted from her mind. She was truly present in this moment. Who knew ice cream was the answer to pulling her from the haze. "I'm full."

I rinsed our dishes and deposited them in the dishwasher. Bella took my hand in hers as I led her up the stairs. Boldly, I closed the door behind us. Esme had long since gone to bed, and Lord knew what my siblings were up to. More than likely too involved in their own shenanigans to ever know my door was closed. Carlisle would be home soon enough, and I prayed he retained his usually aloof demeanor where I was concerned.

I laid back on my bed as I watched Bella quickly kick off her shoes. She took her sweatshirt off next, reveling a plain blue t-shirt beneath. Her lip was suddenly between her teeth, appearing to contemplate something. Her hands hovered at the button of her jeans momentarily, then suddenly decided to pop the button and pull them off. She was on top of me in the next second, straddling my waist.

My eyes were once again drawn to the creamy expanse of her thighs where angry red lines scarred the otherwise flawless flesh. I barely took in the lace edge of her purple panties, reminding my cock that we needed to talk about the scars before anything happened. If anything was going to happen at all.

"They're old," she murmured, watching me take in the scars. She was mostly right, but still wrong. Some of the lines were scabbed over, still healing. I pinned her with my gaze, and she squirmed.

I quirked a brow. "Bullshit."

"Most of them are old," she amended. She traced a particularly long line measuring several inches in length, eyes hidden from mine. "They're from…before. After Renee left. When I was first diagnosed…and medicated."

"And these? Why didn't you come to me?" I worked hard to keep my voice light, fearful of pushing her back into the fog. I placed light fingers over a scabbed one, heart aching at the pain she must have felt to ever inflict such angry actions on her own body.

She shrugged. I tilted her chin up, catching her gaze with mine. There were unshed tears there again. "It's only been a couple of times. Moments of weakness."

"Bella, love," I swallowed thickly, acid on my tongue. Knowing that she had inflicted such harm on herself while I stood by, unknowing, threatened to make me sick. But this wasn't about me. It was about her. "Please, if you ever feel the need to harm yourself again, please tell me. I promise to be there for you, however you need me, whenever you need me. Can you promise to tell me when you feel you're going to cut?"

Her eyes were impossibly sad as she mulled over my words. I wasn't asking her to promise never to harm herself, I knew that could be a foolhardy request, and could inadvertently push her into the very action I wanted her to avoid. I just wanted to know when she felt the need to. Finally, she nodded. "I promise."

I offered a hesitant smile, and she returned it. I traced each scar with gentle touches, gentler even when they neared the edge of her panties. Her breath caught in her throat as my knuckles brushed against her covered sex. I didn't miss the subtle dampness of the thin fabric. Her thighs quivered, tightening their hold on me.

She sat up suddenly straighter, regarding me. I drew lazy circles over unharmed flesh, committing the feel of her silky skin to memory. I would never tire of this. She twirled loose strands of hair around her finger, brown eyes blazing with intensity, scorching me.

"I want you to fuck me, Edward," she breathed. I stilled in my ministrations, looking up to meet her dark, dark brown eyes. The faintest blush colored her cheeks, her bottom lip firmly tucked between her teeth. My cock stirred, growing stiff at the way her lips curled around the word 'fuck.'

"Fuck you?" I murmured. I smirked cockily as she stilled over me, breath hitching in her throat. I was surprised at her brazen request, and incredibly turned on. My hands gripped her waist, running my thumbs across the pale skin exposed between her panties and shirt. "Bella, are you sure that's what you want?"

She withdrew as much as she could, thighs hugging my hips tighter in a vain attempt to hide herself from me. Her gaze dropped mine, fingers twisting in the hem of my shirt, unsure. "I mean…only if you want to…I just thought…."

I quieted her ramblings by pulling her mouth to mine, allowing my tongue to trace the outline of her soft lips, feeling her breath sweep across my face. I tugged at the lace trim of her panties and she rose on her knees to allow me to tug them mostly down. She shifted enough to permit me to pull them all the way down and my free hand went to the marred skin of her thighs again.

"Please, Edward," she whimpered. Her hips pressed tighter to mine and I groaned, pushing my hips up to meet hers. Her fingers tugged at the hem of my shirt and I sat up enough to allow her to pull it over my head. Her mouth was back on me in an instant, planting kisses across my clavicle, throat, up my jaw.

"Are you sure you want me to fuck you, Bella? Because I will. Hard." I had no qualms with her request. But it would be the first time I took her. If she wanted rough, I could be rough. I just had to be sure she knew what she was asking for. My fingers played at the crease of her thigh, tangling in the curls above her sex.

She whimpered, and when I looked up to her molten gaze again, they were brimming with emotion and unshed tears. "I need to feel…you. I need to feel you inside me, Edward. Please. I need to feel. Make me feel."

"Okay," I murmured. Gentle, then. She needed connection, not just release. I kissed her softly then as my fingers dipped below her curls, trailing a finger up her slick folds. God, she was so wet, so hot. Her hips pushed against my hand and I allowed one finger to enter her.

Her head dropped to the dip of my shoulder, her hands tangling in my hair, as we set a slow rhythm. I added another finger, and then a third, pumping unhurriedly. Her hips met every thrust with a swivel, pulling me in deeper, soft moans falling from her mouth.

"I hope you're not a screamer, honey," I whispered, teasing. My eyes flickered to the closed door of my bedroom. For now, Carlisle didn't know she was here, and the closed door wouldn't be an issue unless she became vocal.

She giggled, rising from my chest. Her cheeks were deliciously pink-tinged, lips swollen from our slow frenzied kisses. "I guess we'll find out, won't we?"

She loosed a hand from my hair and brought it to the waistband of my jeans, tugging. I lifted my hips to allow her to discard them, taking my boxers right along with them. She looked down quickly and then back to me, her lip once again sucked into her mouth. The air began to crackle with nervous energy, something akin to fear coloring her eyes.

Bella closed her eyes, and when they opened again, I was met with fiery determination. She grasped my stiff cock in her soft, warm hand. Her thumb ran across my leaking slit, gathering the bead of precum at the tip. Shocking the hell out of me, she brought it to her mouth, sucking on it. I groaned low in my throat, having to close my eyes to keep it together. She giggled again, replacing her hand on my hard member.

"Christ, Bella," I hissed. I grasped her chin, pulling her mouth back to mine. Reaching beside me, I pulled open the draw of my nightstand, producing a condom. I pulled my fingers slowly from her, quickly tearing open the foil package and rolling on the condom.

Her heavy-lidded gaze held mine as I positioned myself at her entrance. She braced her hands against my chest and held her breath, waiting.

"Are you sure, Bella?" If we went any further, it would be incredibly fucking difficult to stop. I would if she asked, but goddamn, I really hoped she didn't ask me to stop. I had to be sure before I pushed inside of her that she wanted this as much as I did.

She nodded quickly, seemingly growing impatient. Slowly she began to sink down. I watched the head of my cock disappear between her wet heat, a harsh oath falling from my mouth. I paused as I buried myself completely inside her, swallowing hard, concentrating on not blowing my load like some adolescent virgin. She just felt so damn good.

"Oh," she breathed a long, drawn out moan that was louder than I was anticipating. I pulled her mouth to mine again, intent on swallowing every one of her laments lest we be found out. Carlisle's trust in me was tenuous at best, and I didn't want to push him. He'd been giving more lately, allowing Bella to stay the night without fight, so long as the door stayed open. Esme was already asleep, and Bella's things were in my bedroom, so he should be none the wiser she was here.

"Christ, honey. You feel so good," I groaned as my tongue invaded her mouth. Her tongue played with my piercing for a moment before she bit down on the metal, sucking. God, did I love when she did that.

She lifted and fell again quickly, whimpering into my mouth as she ground her aching clit against my pubic bone. I allowed her to set the pace, meeting her hips with mine every time she enveloped me again completely.

"Jesus, fuck, Edward." Her mewls and moans were growing increasingly louder, and though I was teasing earlier, I started to wonder just how vocal she was going to get. Had we been alone, I would have tested the theory. Knowing, however, that my father was home was making me nervous.

"Bella," I grunted as she ground shamelessly against me, the walls of her sex clamping down on me. Her thighs tightened against mine, pulling me impossibly closer. "We really do have to be quiet, love."

"Hmm? Oh. Okay." I don't think she really heart what I said. She smiled lazily as she leaned back, taut nipples straining against the fabric of her shirt. I snaked a hand underneath to palm one, rolling the bud into a tight peak. She mewled louder, skin slick with the effort of our endeavors.

A knock at the door startled me, and I grasped her hip tightly, fingers biting into soft flesh. My other hand flew to her mouth, attempting to muffle her sounds of pleasure. She was unperturbed by the presence behind the door.

"Uh, yeah?" I called, cringing as Bella continued to grind against me. My eyes rolled a little in my head, the edge of my release close. I grabbed her hip tighter, making her pause only momentarily. Her hands gripped my shoulders, soft pants falling from her open mouth, moistening my hand with her hot breath.

"Edward, is someone in there with you? I thought I heard a woman's voice." Carlisle inquired. If he didn't have some weird thing about closed doors equating privacy, I'm sure he would have thrown it open. I was really glad he respected privacy, though I knew if he knew Bella was here, he would feel differently.

"Oh, no, dad, I'm alone. Just, uh, just watching a movie."

In an effort to cease her movements, I flipped us over quietly so that Bella lay against the bed now. She gave me a wicked grin, lips attaching to my neck. She was sucking hard enough to leave a mark, and I really didn't give a damn. Her ankles locked behind my back, continuing to rock against me even though I had stilled. My arm behind her back, holding her closer to me, did little to halt her movements.

Carlisle was silent for a moment, and I wondered if perhaps he had walked away until he spoke again. "Porn? Edward, are you watching porn?"

Bella snorted against my neck, clamping a hand over my hand against her mouth. The fact that it was the first real laugh I had heard in weeks created a fire in my belly that gave me pause. I smiled down at her as she continued to shake with silent laughter, completely in awe of her beauty. And so grateful to hear her laugh again.

"Yeah, dad, you caught me. I'm watching porn," my lips twitched as I tried to deliver the line with a straight face, feigning chagrin. Porn had been something Emmett and I discovered early in our adolescence. He had had far more interest in it than I ever did. Besides, this new physical intimacy with Bella left no need for porn. Unless, of course, she was into that sort of thing. Christ, that was a beautiful thing to imagine. Not that I would tell Carlisle any of that.

"Jesus, Edward. Just…keep it down, okay?" Carlisle was embarrassed enough for both of us as he stalked away. For a doctor, I would have imagined that porn wouldn't be so distressing. Surely, he had encountered far worse. I shuddered to think.

"You are so going to pay for that, Isabella," I threatened quietly. I palmed roughly at her breasts through her shirt. I pulled abruptly out of her and quickly slammed back into her, feeling her walls clamp down around my cock. Her movements stilled. Her breath caught in her throat as I held our position for a moment, feeling her impending release fade just slightly.

She pouted, eyes heavy with lust. "That was mean, Edward."

I smirked, easily resuming our earlier pace as I felt her relax minimally. I removed my hand from her breast to move it to where our bodies connected. I easily found her swollen bundle of nerves, pressing a finger gently on it and then circling it.

"So good, so good. Right there." The words fell from her lips as a chant, a prayer, as she shuddered beneath me. I applied more pressure to her clit, watching in fascination as her back arched higher the more pressure I added. Her body was so incredibly responsive to my every touch. I sucked at her puckered nipple through her shirt, cursing myself for not having thought to remove it, and thankful that Bella had forgone a bra. I couldn't wait to see her glorious tits.

Her moans increased in frequency, though thankfully she did not get any louder. Someday soon, I would see just how loud she could be, but I would make sure we were alone. No one would share her pleasure with me.

"Come for me, Bella," I pleaded through gritted teeth, pressing only slightly harder against her swollen clit. My own release was growing nearer, becoming more and more difficult to hold off. With one last circle of her clit, she exploded around me. Head thrown back, eyes shut tight, mouth opened in a small 'o', back arched away from the bed; my god she was magnificent. If I could, I would spend all my time bringing her pleasure.

"Oh, fuck, Edward!" Again, her volume startled me, and I attached my lips to hers, quickly swallowing the noise. With a final thrust, I came forcefully, her tight walls milking me, prolonging my orgasm. I literally saw stars, flashes of white light dotting my vision. My breath caught in my chest as our eyes met again.

"Jesus, Bella," I exhaled, her name falling from my lips as a prayer. I kissed her sweetly as I pulled our bodies apart. She hummed as I left her, throwing her arms around my neck to keep me close. I pulled off and discarded the condom before I settled next to her, holding her closer to me.

Her nose nuzzled mine, a soft smile on her lips. Her hair was tousled, splayed wildly on the pillow, released from the wretched confines of the braid by our activity. This, I decided, was my favorite Bella. She was sleepy, sated, and adorably abashed, cheeks flushed a beautiful rosy red.

"I didn't mean to be so loud," she whispered, teeth finding her kiss swollen lip again.

"Hush, honey," I murmured, kissing the frown lines away from her forehead. "Next time, we'll be alone. Or, at least alone enough that you can be as loud as you want."

Her blush deepened, cheeks nearly crimson, and she kissed me softly again. A mischievous glint sparkled in her eyes. Her nails scratched at my chest, down my stomach, tightening the muscles beneath. "There's going to be a next time?"

I grinned, my mind exploring dangerously exquisite visions of her splayed out under me. And over me. I thought of all the possible ways I knew I could make her come. "Oh, Bella. There will be many next times."

!#$#!

Bella and I slept well into the morning. Sometime during the night, I had woken up to find her watching me. Her easy smile was illuminated by moonlight from the window. Her fingers drew languid circles down my chest and stomach before she took me into her soft hands. Of course, I was hard. I had been dreaming of her, after all. When I entered her again, it was like coming home or coming up for air. Everything felt so right.

I made sure to open the door before falling back to sleep. A foresight that seemed to have been the right move as I watched Carlisle travel through the hallway. I was also glad Bella had never taken her shirt off. My naked chest was nothing out of the ordinary, but if he had seen her bare skin, his leniency with her spending the night would have vanished.

She stirred beside me, arms stretching above her head as she yawned. She tangled our legs beneath the sheet as she craned her neck to kiss me. Her eyes were bright. Dare I say happy.

"Morning," she whispered. She draped an arm across my chest, wet lips kissing my neck. Her fingers paused at the place I knew she had left a mark, and she smiled. "Oops."

I chuckled, squeezing her supple bottom in my hands. My voice was gruff with unuse. "Fair turnabout, I think. The one I gave you is nearly gone."

She hummed, nose nuzzling mine before she sat up. She tucked the sheet around her, eyes searching the room for her discarded clothing. I hadn't the slightest idea where her panties had disappeared to, but her jeans lay in a heap at the foot of the bed. I reached over the side of the bed to grab my boxers, quickly pulling them on before leaving the bed. I handed her the crumpled denim with a kiss and she pulled them on underneath the sheet, aware of the open door.

She frowned down at her shirt, the fabric puckered oddly around the flesh I had suckled. She gave me the side eye as she stood, smiling fondly at the memory. She delved into my dresser to find a new shirt, inhaling the fabric before putting it on. She turned her back to change, and I groaned, hoping beyond hope that I could see her completely naked soon. My fingers ached to tease the smooth skin of her breasts.

Her hand in mine, we descended the stairs. Esme shot me a disapproving look as we entered the kitchen. Everyone else was already seated at the table, even Carlisle. Nerves battered my stomach as I wondered whether Esme had told him Bella had been here for dinner or not.

"Good morning, Edward, Bella. Did you sleep well?" Esme wondered. Her lips quirked up in a smile and she winked. I was starting to like her more and more.

I relaxed, gathering several pancakes for myself and Bella, who all but drowned hers in syrup.

"Very well, Esme, thank you," Bella said sweetly, a blush spreading over her cheeks. She speared the sticky soaked cake with her fork, quickly stuffing it into her mouth. An effort to avoid having to say anymore, I'm sure.

Emmett grinned from across the table. His fingers brushed against his own neck, mirroring the location of the love bite on my own. His eyes held a knowing twinkle. "Good porn last night, Ed?"

"Emmett," Carlisle warned, a look thrown at him from over the top of the newspaper. "Must you be so crass? We have a guest."

"C'mon, dad, Bella's not a guest. She's Edward's girlfriend." Rosalie jabbed her elbow into his side, but Emmett hardly flinched. His gaze stayed firmly on the two of us. Whatever he had been up to last night, he very well knew what we had been up to as well. Even Jasper was grinning stupidly at his breakfast.

"Yeah, Em, it was the best," I retorted. He snorted in laughter, not having expected me to answer so flippantly. His goal was embarrassment, not to rat me out. He was doing a better job of discomforting Bella than myself, though.

"Boys, that's enough. Eat your breakfast," Esme's tone was a shade sharper. She was hiding the truth from Carlisle for us, but I knew she could easily change her mind if we pissed her off. Emmett made a crude hand gesture when she turned around, but thankfully ended the conversation.

"I didn't hear you come in last night, Bella," Carlisle intoned. His eyes stayed on my face, and I worked hard to maintain my usual level of disinterest for whenever he spoke. If he suspected she had been here all night, he would wait until she was gone to question me about it.

"Oh, yeah, it was late. Jacob, um, dropped me off on his way home. I hope that's alright." The lie slid easily from her mouth, but her hand gripped my thigh tighter beneath the table. Her and Esme shared a loaded glance before Bella's gaze settled again on Carlisle.

His expression softened as he considered her. He had grown to care for her in his own, distant way. Any discourse that we had lately centered around her. It seemed to be the only thing we could discuss without argument. "Of course that's alright, Bella. You're welcome here anytime."

She beamed then, the truest of smiles I'd seen on her face in several weeks. Carlisle seemed to swallow the non-truth easily, returning once more to the printed words before him. I shared a look with my brothers. Not so long ago, Jasper had done the same thing with Alice, and he offered me thumbs up and a wink. Emmett nodded, cheeks dimpled with the length of his smile. It was Rosalie, however, that caught my attention. Her expression was soft, but her eyes remained hard as she looked between Bella and me. I slid my hand beneath the table to grasp Bella's hand, and she turned her head to offer me a sugary sweet kiss, soft smile on her sticky lips.

When I looked back to Rosalie, she was smiling, too.

A/N: Ah, young love. Disgusting, isn't it? A little lemony delight to tide you over until the next chapter. We'll get to see what's been going on in Bella's head. Please, please, please, leave me a review! I would love to know what you're thinking/feeling/expecting. If you ask nicely, I may send you a little something sweet. Er, sour. Whatever you prefer.

Love you guys! KQL

So, I love this song. And it has a sensual undercurrent to it that I thought was perfect for this chapter. Highly suggest you listen.

"Drown me in the water
Drown me in the sea
Lose me in the dark
Drag me to the deep
Let your water wash over me"

Water - Jack Garratt