The Angry Boy

by Tantris

Heralds are not perfect human beings. They are people with flaws and failings like all of us. They have their gifts but they must also have courage and determination in order that their flaws may be turned to facets of what makes them Heralds. They may not do Great Things, but they may rise to greatness by what they do. As always, the Valdemar Universe belongs to Mercedes Lackey.

80. Chapter 80

The Angry Boy Chapter 80

"A man that studieth revenge, keeps his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal, and do well." – Francis Bacon

Bredin laughed as Seldan bounded through the snow of Companions' Field. The colt had been born just before Bredin and Lacaral returned to the Collegium, four days ago. Selden skittered around Caiseal twice before stopping at his dam's side to nurse. Bredin mildly regretted the extra two days he'd spent with his family in Bransat when he'd stopped there for Midwinter on his way home from circuit.

::I'd have liked to be here, too.:: Lacaral said without taking his eye off his son.

Bredin smiled and rested a hand on Lacaral's shoulder. "Sorry, my friend. If I had known, I'd have made sure we were here." Bredin had enjoyed the time with his family, but he'd also missed the company of his yearmates. Ari, Jan, and Rena had all returned from their internship circuits just before Midwinter and stayed at the Collegium. Lars and Tanis were due today. The six of them were planning a small party at the Bell that evening.

The colt finished suckling and looked around. Spotting Lacaral, he trotted over with his tail flagged high to touch his sire's nose. Lacaral arched his neck and whickered softly. Seldan whinnied, leapt and spun, and tore off across the snow once more. Lacaral arched his neck higher and puffed.

"You didn't invent fatherhood, you know." Bredin said.

::He's a fine colt. I can be proud of him.:: Lacaral refused to be taunted.

"He's a fine colt. He's going to be magnificent when he grows up." Kensie unconsciously echoed the Companion from Bredin's other side.

Bredin turned in surprise. He hadn't heard Kensie come up. Bredin found himself resenting the former lord's presence. He took in Kensie's white uniform; for Lacaral, he would not spoil the moment. Cautiously, Bredin said "Congratulations on your whites, you got them in record time."

Kensie laughed. "Thank you. But it is no record. Teren did it in a year and, according to the history books, King's Own Herald Amily went directly into whites when Rolan Chose her."

Bredin blinked. Kensie's laugh and disclaimer sounded genuine; they did not match his memories of the high-born snot he had known in Bransat.

::People do grow up, you know.:: Lacaral said.

"Anyways, that was pretty fast. New Chosen to whites in a year and a half." He said.

Kensie shrugged. "Don't forget I'd had years of tutoring and taken many of the required classes before. Right now, I just wanted to see how little Seldan was doing. I understand he's Lacaral's get?"

Bredin nodded. "And the reason I had to finish my internship on my own."

"So Mani told me. I was in the stable when Caiseal went into labor. Fortunately, everything went smoothly. Healer Kyminn said it was one of the easiest deliveries he'd ever seen."

Bredin felt a twinge of envy that Kensie had seen Lacaral's foal born while he had missed it. He was saved from responding by the appearance of Losanir on Kensie's other side. He greeted the Companion, who whickered back.

"Losanir told me that you took care of him before he Chose me." Kensie said. "Thank you."

"Well, he is Lacaral's brother. And he seemed so sad. I wanted to cheer him up."

Kensie grimaced at the reminder of how he had kept Losanir waiting. "Um, yes. I wish we'd gotten together sooner." He stroked Losanir's powerful neck. "We're together now, though. That's what counts."

Kensie felt awkward. He decided to excuse himself. "Well, I better head to the salle. Alberich told me that whites don't excuse me from practice."

"And Deacon Tsareyn says I need a refresher." Bredin felt relief as Kensie turned to go. Did Losanir wink at Lacaral?

::At least you were civil.::

Bredin frowned. "We don't have to like each other. I can manage civility while we wait for our assignments. Once we're in the field, we don't even have to think about each other."

Lacaral made a chuckling whicker. When Bredin asked him to explain the joke, the Companion refused.

Bredin headed for the Herald's wing to get a change of clothes for his training session at the Temple. Fifty yards from the door, Wallis Mittel stepped out in front of him. Bredin noted his knight's belt. "Greetings, Sir Wallis." He nodded, intending to pass on.

Wallis held up a hand to stop him. "Herald Bredin, I believe we have a common enemy."

Bredin answered carefully. "I do not understand, Sir." He hoped he did not.

Wallis did not quite sneer, though his contempt for Bredin was obvious. "I mean the raping coward Kensie Poldara."

The hairs curled on the back of Bredin's neck. The last thing he wanted was to get involved in a feud among the highborn. "My opinion of Herald Kensie has changed of late." He hoped Wallis would take the hint and drop the subject.

This time, the young highborn did sneer. "I saw you talking to him five sunwidths ago. You were both stiff as boards. If that is friendship, it is a very strange one."

"I did not say I liked him, merely that my opinion had changed. Now, Sir, if you will excuse me…."

Wallis grabbed his arm. "Hold, sirrah! I am not finished. You hate him, so do I. Would you help me be rid of him for once and for all?"

Shocked, Bredin stared at Wallis for a moment. How could someone be so obsessed? How could someone think he would share that obsession?

::I think it is in the nature of obsession itself.:: Lacaral put in.

Composing himself, Bredin leaned forward, eye to eye. "For the courtesy your father has shown me, I will forget this conversation, Sir Wallis. What you have said borders on criminal conspiracy of the highest order. I do not like Herald Kensie, but I know he has proven his courage and loyalty. Nor do I believe he ever acted improperly towards your former wife. I suggest you forget this idea and beg you never mention it again. Good day." Bredin pulled his arm from Wallis' grasp and started to walk away.

"Stinking peasant!" Wallis called after him. "Low born, you have no concept of dignity or rank. You do not know a hoof from a hackamore."

Bredin kept walking. ::I said I would forget it, but I think I'd better tell Elcarth and Kyril.::

::I've already passed it along to Renda, Garatun, and Kantor.:: Lacaral said.

::Why Kantor?::

::Alberich is very interested in your former baron.::

Bredin raised his eyebrows. He wondered why the Weaponsmaster would take an interest in Kensie.

::Not my secret.:: Lacaral chuckled in his mind. Bredin rolled his eyes as he climbed the stairs to his room.

##

"You can't be serious, Senior." Bredin and Kensie said simultaneously. Each of them looked at the other in horror.

"We are completely serious." Elcarth said, speaking for himself and Kyril, who sat beside him. He looked at Bredin. "Kensie will intern with you on the Central South Border circuit."

"Why? I'm not an experienced field Herald, really. I have only half a circuit on my own. I'm not ready to evaluate an intern." Bredin said, trying to present an argument in logical terms rather than refer to their mutual antagonism.

"We don't like each other. That is going to make us less effective in the field." Kensie went directly to the reason neither of them wanted the assignment.

Kyril turned to Kensie. "Herald Bredin has performed field investigations – his report on Hunberston is being added to the standard training – and has seen life from a commoner's point of view, which you have not. With a circuit under his belt, he also has learned what field conditions are like. He dealt with a religious fanatic, which is what you are going to see in the Holderkin. They're difficult to handle, but at least they don't try to convert everyone else."

Kyril looked at Bredin. "Herald Kensie has experience in court judgment, appeals, reviewing tax rolls and making reports from his time as Baron of Bransat. He also has experience in command and combat.

"Each of you has something to learn from the other. This is less an internship than a mutual honing of talents."

Both of them looked at the two Senior Heralds suspiciously.

Elcarth had no difficulty reading their expressions. "Yes, there is more to it. You two have to learn to get along. You are not the only Heralds who don't like one another, but neither of you has learned to put your feelings aside in order to get the job done."

"I can set my feelings aside to do the job." Kensie said. Hadn't he coped with Kadhael Corbie for nearly a year at North Evendim?

"So can I." Bredin said.

"So far, we've not seen much evidence of that." Elcarth said. "Every time the two of you come within a hundred yards of each other, your hackles go up like a pair of fighting dogs. The tension between the two of you is so strong that several healers have complained that they have to reinforce their shields when you are both around."

"This will give you a chance to demonstrate that you can control your feelings and perhaps -" Kyril stressed the word "– recognize each other for the fine people you are."

"He's a superb rider."

"He's a master of unarmed combat."

"That is not what Elcarth and I mean, and you both know it." Kyril retorted. "Though you could help each other with those skills as well."

Bredin and Kensie looked at each other. Neither smiled. They looked back at Elcarth and Kyril.

"The decision is final." Elcarth answered their unspoken request. "You leave in two days. You will meet Herald Leo at Redruth Guard Post in a fortnight to take over the circuit. He'll wait for you there if weather delays you."

"Very well, Senior." Bredin said as he stood up. "I'll get ready."

"So will I." Kensie said.

"It would be better if you said 'We'll get ready.'" Kyril said.

The two of them left Elcarth's office. Outside the door, they looked at each other sourly. "Meet me in the library after lunch." Bredin said. "We'd better go over the circuit summary and maps."

"I'll be there."

They turned and headed opposite ways down the hall.

##

Kensie was still bristling as they rode out of the south gate two days later.

::How was he to know if you could pack for a circuit?:: Losanir asked.

::I only spent two years in the guard. I think I know how to pack by now.:: Kensie grumbled.

::It's not the same thing. You have a baggage train in the guard. In the field, a Herald has to be independent.::

Kensie grudgingly acknowledged the truth of his Companion's words, but he could not shrug off his resentment of Bredin's inspection of his pack.

Bredin looked to the east, where the sky was beginning to brighten. The winter dawn was still a candlemark off. There was an inch of snow on the road, muffling the chime of the Companions' hooves. Kensie's stiff silence weighed on him. Could he have handled it better?

::Yes, you could have.:: Lacaral said. At Bredin's mental query, he added. ::I'm not going to tell you. I'll let you think about it.::

Bredin pushed the issue to the back of his mind. Time to move on. He glanced at Kensie. "Canter?"

Kensie was only too ready. Losanir and Lacaral picked up a light canter. There were few winter travellers and the Companions kept up the steady pace through the morning. The light exercise warmed them: A candlemark after sunrise, both took off their jackets and stowed them. Lacaral reminded Bredin how he had dropped his jacket on their first trip to Haven. Bredin laughed and stroked his neck. Kensie looked at them curiously.

They stopped at The Plough in Shankill for lunch. "What were you and Lacaral laughing about when we took off our jackets?" Kensie asked.

"Lacaral was teasing me. The morning he Chose me, I dropped my jacket when I took it off. He picked it up in his teeth and handed it to me." Bredin explained.

"Oh, I see." Kensie said, turning to the barmaid as she brought them meat pies and ale.

Bredin frowned slightly, feeling dismissed.

Lacaral harrumphed in Bredin's mind. ::What did you expect? It is a personal memory for you and me. It means nothing to him.::

During their luncheon, the usual gaggle of children approached them with questions. Bredin, who had seen it on his own internship, took it in stride. He noticed Kensie seemed surprised by the attention but answered their questions readily. Thinking about it, Bredin realized that, as a high-born, Kensie was used to commoners deferring to him and keeping their distance. If there was a slight condescension in Kensie's answers, the children did not seem bothered.

Within a candlemark, they were back on the road. The light winter traffic allowed them to maintain a steady canter. They arrived at the waystation at Eastrock just after sunset.

"If you want to take care of Losanir and Lacaral, I'll ready the waystation." Bredin said as they dismounted. Kensie hesitated a moment. "Or the other way around."

Kensie recovered. "Sure, I'll untack them. See you inside."

Bredin went into the waystation and Kensie followed the Companions into their stable. Unlike an ordinary stable, there was only one large "stall" and the mangers and buckets were side by side.

::It's not as if we're going to fight over the food like horses.:: Losanir commented. Lacaral snorted and whickered. ::Besides, it's warmer this way.:: Losanir added.

Kensie quickly stripped the tack and blanketed them both. He gave them feed and water. While they ate, he gave both a good rubdown under their blankets.

::Lacaral says you have very good hands.:: Losanir commented.

Kensie grinned and patted Lacaral on the neck. "Thank you, Lacaral. Glad to be of service." He picked up the packs and went into the waystation.

"Close the door!" Bredin said. "It's just getting warm in here."

Kensie frowned at the order as he closed the door quickly. Though irritated at Bredin's tone, he had to admit Bredin was right. He sighed with relief at the comparative warmth of the room.

"Lacaral says you have very good hands." Bredin said, not looking up as he fed wood into the stove.

"Losanir passed along Lacaral's thanks as well. I enjoy making them happy. Which bed do you want?" When Bredin gestured at the one on the left, Kensie put the packs on their respective beds.

Bredin closed the iron stove and looked up. "You were famous for how you cared for that stallion of yours. I'm not surprised you can please a Companion."

Kensie smiled. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

Bredin smiled back. "Some truths are good ones."

"Who is cooking tonight?" Kensie asked. "I can do it, but I'm not very good at it."

Bredin smirked. "In that case, you are going to cook and I am going to show you how."

Kensie looked at him apprehensively. "What does that mean?"

"I am going to teach you what Mani taught me. Put some oil in the bottom of that pot." Bredin pointed.

Kensie frowned again, but reached for the pot. Oiling it, he put it on the stove and began adding ingredients at Bredin's directions. In a quarter-candlemark, Kensie had to concede Bredin was right: This was going to be much better than Kensie's usual cooking. The odors were mouth-watering.

Once the pot was simmering, they made their beds and sat opposite one another.

"The first time I stopped at a waystation – this very waystation – my yearmate Jan and I burned the food so badly that it took candlemarks to get rid of the smell." Bredin said.

Kensie reflected that he had never blundered that badly. His slightly superior smile at Bredin's story irritated the latter.

::Who was it that wouldn't even attempt to cook on our first trip to Haven?:: Losanir teased his Chosen.

"When we got back to the Collegium, Jan and I found ourselves in the field survival course that fall, with heavy emphasis on field cooking." Bredin chuckled at the memory. "I think Gadar and Lacaral passed word that we needed instruction."

::How could you suggest we would tell tales?:: Lacaral feigned innocence.

::Because gossiping is what you lot do best.:: Bredin retorted. Lacaral gave a mental snort.

"So I learned the basics of field cooking." Bredin went on. "And basic cooking was all I learned, not how to make food taste good."

Bredin told Kensie what Mani had told him about field cooking and Heralds starving themselves on circuit. "It was one of the best things I learned on my internship."

Kensie contemplated Bredin's words. Grudgingly, he admitted to himself the younger man had a point.

In less than a candlemark, the food was ready. As he ate, Kensie's grudging acknowledgement turned to enthusiasm. It was the best field dinner he had ever eaten.

They finished their meal and sat back. Kensie sighed. "I thought you were making too much fuss over cooking. I have to admit I was wrong. That was excellent."

Bredin smiled. "The best part is that it doesn't take any longer than a poorly cooked meal."

"Thank you." Kensie said.

"Don't thank me. Thank Mani."

After cleaning the dishes, they played chess for a candlemark. Kensie beat Bredin handily two games in a row. They gave the Companions a final feed of hay and went to bed.

##

They arrived at Gillhold before dark on the third day. A light snow was falling from a grey sky. Herald Adrian was waiting for them as they dismounted in the courtyard.

Bredin and Adrian remembered one another from his previous visits. Bredin introduced Kensie to Adrian. Diplomatically, Bredin said that they were doing a joint circuit.

::I will explain later, Chosen:: Werra said before Adrian could ask about the unusual arrangement.

"I'll have my assistant show you to your rooms." He looked over Kensie's shoulder.

Kensie turned around. He and Ragnar stared at each other in amazement. Seeing the tension between the two, Adrian asked "Do you two know each other?"

"He killed my father." Ragnar said.

Bredin and Adrian were stunned. Kensie gulped. "I am sorry for you. I do not want to kill anyone's father or son. Will you forgive me?" He held out his hand.

Ragnar took a deep breath. He took Kensie's hand. "My father died in battle, as a warrior should. I seek no more revenge."

"Nor do I. I am Herald Kensie Poldara. Allow me to introduce my Companion, Losanir." Kensie gestured at the other Herald. "This is Herald Bredin Kase and his Companion Lacaral."

By now, Ragnar was used to the visions of people blending with the bodies of the Spirit Horses when he first met them. In Losanir's place, the manifestation was of a huge man, massively muscled. Ragnar sensed the man laughed a great deal. In Lacaral's place, he saw a man of more normal stature, but his face was so like the other's that Ragnar was sure they must be brothers.

"Are they brothers?" He asked, pointing at the Companions.

Ragnar's question bemused them both. "Yes. Lacaral is Losanir's brother." Bredin said. "How did you know?"

"Their spirits are alike." Ragnar said. He had no idea how to explain his vision.

Bredin and Kensie looked at each other and shook their heads. They shrugged. Lacaral and Losanir whickered, but said nothing to their Chosen. Instead of asking further, Bredin looked up at the snowflakes drifting down. "We'd better get inside."

Ragnar led them into Companions' Hall and showed them their rooms.

Kensie grinned at the arrangements. He loved being so close to Losanir. ::I see why you lot rave about this place.:: He said. ::I am going to ask father to do something similar for us in Poldara Castle and maybe Bransat Manor.::

::I knew there was an advantage to Choosing a baron.:: Losanir teased.

Ragnar did not leave them. He insisted on helping untack and groom Losanir. Kensie was slightly embarrassed by the way that Ragnar doted on his Companion.

Ragnar's ardent attention to Losanir irritated Bredin. The assistant did not neglect Lacaral, but clearly preferred Kensie's Companion.

::You will note,:: Lacaral pointed out ::You are getting the tack off and grooming me more quickly than the two of them are helping my brother.::

Bredin smiled. Ragnar's overzealous solicitousness was actually getting in Kensie's way, slowing the task. ::I see that. Maybe you can give me the full story of what happened between them.::

Lacaral gave Bredin the details of the failed pirate raid at Rushton and the aftermath. Bredin felt a twinge of sympathy for Kensie over the loss of Blood and the awkwardness of meeting Ragnar.

After dinner, the four sat together for the evening. Adrian asked each of them to mindspeak Ragnar for a short while, explaining that he needed practice. Bredin and Kensie mindspoke Ragnar for half a candlemark, telling him about their lives before they had been Chosen.

Ragnar noticed their common connection to Bransat; he wondered why neither spoke about seeing or meeting the other. When he asked directly if they had known each other beforehand, both admitted it, saying their social rank had meant they moved in different circles. Ragnar noticed their equivocations and the tension between them. They obviously disliked one another, so why were they working together? He could not think of no polite reason to ask them, but he deduced their superiors had arranged the joint circuit to force them to reconcile their differences.

For their part, the two young Heralds noted Ragnar's solid mindspeech and their Companions' affection for the young man. They wondered why he had not been Chosen and asked their Companions. They got the same answer Derris had given: ::He is not Valdemaran.::

After a half-candlemark of mindspeech practice, they returned to spoken conversation for the rest of the evening. Bredin and Kensie retired early, knowing they had to be on the road once more in the morning.

[My thanks to Raelynn Daria Mayne for suggesting 'Seldan' for the name of Lacaral's son. The name is from Herald Seldason, who appears in "Magic's Pawn."]