I wrote more ScotEng... oh crap, bugger it, DOTL is already late... it can wait another day or two...

On another note, Wales is my beautiful asexual babe, fight me.

Enjoy! ;)

Wales narrowed his eyes as he approached the door to England's house. He knew for a fact that both other nations were in there, and he also knew that if they were together there was about a 90% chance one of them was fucking the other into a flat surface.

Yes, he knew what you were thinking. Gee Wales, you're being melodramatic! It can't be that much! They just love each other! They just- No! Shut up! They're completely as bad as he made it sound!

He wished he were making it up, but he'd already walked in on them -a lot- more than once, and the worst part is that is the more it happened, the less bothered they seemed by it, so now they just kept going. Wales shuddered, he never understood the appeal of wiggling one's naked body against another's, but if England and Scotland's relationship had taught him anything it's that it most probably was all it was cracked up to be. Jesus, he knew England was a promiscuous little fucker ever since he hit puberty, but never had he been so bloody blatant about it.

The conclusion he'd come to was that they were both just dicks.

Small, unimpressive dicks that were attached to large, unimpressive dicks, who became large, unimpressive dicks in the hopes that their small unimpressive, dicks wouldn't matter.

He chuckled a little at the thought, reaching the top of the stairs and pressing an ear to the door. He waited a moment in silence until he heard voices from the other side, but the wood was too thick to make anything out.

He rolled his eyes, deciding to walk around the back and check in the window. As he walked he crossed everything he had two of and prayed that they were just drinking tea.

But of course they weren't just drinking bloody tea.

He groaned mournfully as he whipped his head away from the window and the scene that was taking place on the other side of it. Kisses he could deal with, but only when they were firmly above the waist, thank you very much.

"I really should start calling ahead," He muttered irritably to himself, before ducking back around the front of the house. If he rung the doorbell instead of using his keys, they'd either stop to let him in, or wait until they were done to do so, both of which involved not having to watch- He stopped that thought where it was.

Sure enough it was a full three minutes, forty-two seconds before the door was opened by a goofy looking Scot who grinned at him as if he'd just won the fucking lottery, "Hope we didn't keep you waiting?"

"Oh no!" Wales replied, pulling himself to his feet, "Wouldn't want to interrupt your important 'trade negotiations' or whatever the fuck the code is for fucking these days."

Scotland snorted out a laugh, "We appreciate your co-operation, it's not like you gave us any warning."

Wales frowned, crossing his arms over his chest, "I wouldn't need to if you weren't constantly shoving your pricks in each other."

"We're not actually," Scotland replied nonchalantly, "You just keep getting lucky."

"'Lucky' isn't exactly the word I'd use."

"You would if you'd ever fucked him. Now," Wales grimaced as Scotland put a had around his shoulder and pulled him into the house, "Have some tea and un-twist your knickers. You're too easy to wind up."

"What happened to winding up England?"

Scotland sighed melodramatically, "Ah, yes, the memories... Unfortunately, the little bugger now holds my sex life in his hands. That's not a chance I'm willing to take, I'm afraid."

Wales sighed dejectedly as they entered the kitchen where a rather sexed-up looking England was staring intently at the slowly boiling kettle. "We need a new kettle."

"Then buy a new kettle."

England sighed and turned around, nodding briefly to Wales in greeting before turning his attention back to Scotland, "The last time I bought a kettle it was shit and you lost the receipt so I couldn't return it." He gestured to the kettle behind him.

"Yeah, yeah, keep bringing that up, would you? Would you rather I be the one to go out and buy the kettle?"

"Well, since you're offering." He said, before raising an eyebrow, "And I just had your dick in my mouth, so I hardly think there's room for argument here."

Wales grimaced a little, but the two of them didn't seem to notice.

Scotland rolled his eyes, "You were hardly complaining about it at the time, but, yes, okay, when I go shopping tomorrow I'll buy a new bloody kettle. Happy?"

"Very, thank you." He turned his attention to Wales, "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

"Your boss wanted a meeting."

England raised an eyebrow, "And you thought you'd take advantage of my hospitality without notice?"

Wales rolled his eyes, "What else is new, if you're going to whinge at me every time I do this we're gonna waste a hell of a lot of time."

England let a smile twitch his lips, "Then I'm sure you won't try and complain about Scotland and myself, hm?"

Wales frowned. So this was how it was going to be?

Brilliant...