Pairing:Eren/Mikasa

Setting:Time Travel AU

Words:2244

Rating:T (For character death; it has a happy ending, it's me don't worry ;3 )

Notes:Krulla Chiefrequested a time travel AU and from the moment I heard it I knew I needed to do this one. This is an old headcanon of mine, which Mikasa possessed a kinda of time travel ability that was like Homura's (Madoka Magica) where Mikasa constantly reset time whenever Eren died. It was mainly due to no one will ever convince me that's not Mikasa in Eren's opening dream. (Like, he even tells Mikasa her hair got long telling us that he saw Mikasa; you think the boy knows what she looks like.) That and her headaches and her use of "Not this again". I don't really think that's what's going on anymore, too much has been proven against it but with the introduction of the woman who could erase memories from a touch, you never know what Isayama has up his sleeve and I still think the entire underlying plot from that first chapter has everything to do with Eren and Mikasa. The title comes from one of my favorite lines and episodes ofDoctor Who :3 because the context of the quote was all I could think about while writing this.

Also I used direct dialogue from Isayama in italics, but I'm pretty sure everyone knows that scene. That doesn't belong to me, and neither does any of this either. Whoops, 60 chapters and my first disclaimer.

"And you are forgiven. Always and completely forgiven."

-The Doctor to River Song,Doctor Who

Mikasa stared up in horror as she watched Eren in his Titan form high above her, take a hit to his neck that she knew was fatal. His body dropped to the ground, shaking it right under her feet. The culprit was already leaving, knowing full well what was done, but Mikasa didn't care; all she could do was run to the body that was already evaporating.

Someone called her name behind her; maybe it was Armin, maybe Jean, maybe Levi, she really didn't care. Tears were already stinging her eyes as she found Eren's body, still stuck to the Titan body. She pulled him out, calling his name but even her voice sounded distant as those eyes she loved so much the ones that showed so much passion stared lifelessly back at her.

Mikasa cradled him to her chest as she fell to her knees, realizing too late the screams she was hearing were from her. "Eren, please," she choked, trying to see him through her thick tears. "Please don't leave me."

It was too late though; just like every time she watched it happen, she was always too late.

A sharp pain shot through her head, nearly making her feel like she was gonna pass out. While other times she begged it to go away, this was the only time she welcomed it. Next time. Next time she'd make it to him.

"See you later, Eren."

"Eren…Eren! Wake up. It'll get dark if we don't go home now."

"Huh? Mikasa…Aww, when did your hair get so long…?"

"Were you realy so sound asleep that you were still dreaming when you woke up?"

"No…but I feel like I just had the longest dream…what was it? Now I can't remember…"

"Eren?...are you crying?"

Mikasa didn't know how it happened; she wasn't even sure why it always brought them back to that one moment in the fields before Carla was killed. She just knew when she leaned over to wake up Eren under that tree, she wasn't sure how many times she had done it. Memories of past quickly faded, leaving her wondering why Eren was crying and for them to go about their days.

She was thankful she couldn't remember it at all times knowing the pain she put herself and Eren through every single time she sent them back, but she also knew she couldn't let him die, not like that, not ever. There were moments that she remembered just what she could do, the moments she felt an intense pain in her head. When Hannes pulled them away from Carla, she could remember that she did this so many times and when Eren was taken from her by people they trusted, she knew it wasn't the first time.

Mikasa wished in those moments she could remember, because then she could prevent so much. She could get Carla out long before she was trapped, they could never trust their once comrades who would grow to betray them in the worst ways. So many lives she could save, so much they could learn earlier than they did but she couldn't. The memories would fade and she'd forget what had caused the pain in the first place.

What she did know when she remembered was why she did it. It wasn't to save everyone's lives or to gain information at an earlier time when they could have used it. Those were fixed events in time that needed to happen to guide them on their way. It was always to save Eren. It was about that one moment when their hope was struck down never to come back again; when Mikasa's whole life came crashing down in front of her.

She saw it in her dreams, she felt how she did when he looked back up at her with no expression; there was no smile, no annoyance, no anger, no compassion, no love, no nothing, he was gone. All she could do was hold him close until the pain in her head came, but it never outweighed the pain in her chest from losing him. She'd wake up in a cold sweat, her breath panting, and tears in her eyes.

Eren was usually there already, sitting up in bed with a concerned look in his eyes; if he wasn't there, she'd always go to find him. He'd ask her what was wrong, and she'd tell him that she honestly didn't know. He'd calm her back down, like she did to him countless times, and she'd lay in his arms until the morning.

The only time she ever fully remembered was the day it occurred. Every time she would wake up with a headache as memories flooded her mind as she remembered the amount of times she had lived her life next to Eren, and the amount of times she had watched him die on this very day. She tried and go to warn him, to let him know this was going to end badly, for him not to go. Sometimes she'd beg, sometimes she'd tell him exactly how she knew, sometimes she'd try and convince him but nothing ever worked; he always walked out that door. How he responded was always different; sometimes he'd yell, sometimes he'd fight leaving their last words as angry ones, sometimes he'd laugh and tell her she was being too worried, sometimes he'd hold her, sometimes he'd kiss her.

"You know how much I love you, Mikasa," he'd mumble against her lips. "Just worry about yourself. I promise I'll be okay." Those were the times that hurt the most, because she knew he wasn't going to be okay.

He never listened; not that she expected him to. This was Eren, stubborn and headstrong Eren. One time she thought he did, she thought she finally got through to him. When Mikasa pulled him out, his eyes were still looking up at her.

"Hey." His voice was raspy as she reached down to pull him against her. "Always looking after me, huh?"

Mikasa hadn't known whether her tears were hopeful or dreading the inevitable but she let out a small laugh. "Always, I always will."

He coughed, blood falling on his shirt, on her hands holding him. He tried to look up at her again, but he let out a hiss of pain that shattered Mikasa's thin hope; he wasn't making it out of this.

"I'm sorry, Eren," she cried, her tears flowing down her face. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything." I'm sorry for making you go through this time and time again.

"Hey." He reached up to weakly wipe her tears away. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm the one who…" He let out a couch that shook his whole body. "Who always makes you cry, when I just want to see you smile."

She had leaned down to place a kiss on his forehead. "You are always forgiven." She felt him let out one last sigh of breath before she knew he was gone again. The pain was coming and she was sending them back.

"See you later, Eren."

"Eren…Eren! Wake up. It'll get dark if we don't go home now."

"Huh? Mikasa…Aww, when did your hair get so long…?"

When she could remember, Mikasa wondered if Eren's memory blanks had something to do with what she had done to him every time she sent them back in time. She later found out it was because of what his father did to him and not her and that maybe something was done to her to cause her to have this ability but those thoughts always went as soon as they came.

She woke up on the morning again, tears pooling in her eyes as memories rushing came rushing back to her head. How many times had it been? How many times had she held his body in her arms? How many times had she put them through this horrible life of theirs? Maybe it was her fault. Maybe when she saw him die the only thing on her mind was to go back when he could still smile at her, and something triggered bringing them back to the last moment of peace they had.

This time though, this time she wasn't going to. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to send Eren on an endless loop reliving the worst moments of his life over and over again. This time, she needed to let him go. No matter how hard it was to see him die in front of her, and how hard her life would be without him, she was being selfish. Eren would never live in peace again if she didn't let him go.

By the time she stepped outside her door everyone was already rushing around, trying to prepare to advance of the enemies that were headed straight for their base. It was a surprise attack, except to Mikasa who woke up knowing it was coming. She rushed down the hall, not paying attention to whoever was shouting at her name, she only had minutes to see Eren before he took off with them.

She swung open his door and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw him still getting ready.

"There you are," he said, pulling on his straps to attach his gear to. "There a-"

"I know," she nodded, still standing in the doorway.

"Are you ready then?"

"Yeah, just..." She walked towards him, trying not to show the tears she was still fighting back. This was it. This was the last time.

Eren knew something was up, she saw his face soften as he watched her. "What's wrong?"

Mikasa shook her head as she reached her arms around him, his beating heart in her ear. She felt his arms wrap around her, his chin on her head. "Just be safe."

"Always," he said, giving her back a rub. He lingered just a little longer, and Mikasa didn't want to let go when he pulled away. "We should go before Levi comes to find us."

Mikasa nodded, as she watched him walk out that door like she had so many times before.

Everything went the same, the advancement, the battle, the deaths; it was like watching a movie she saw countless times, dreading the result and knowing she couldn't change it. She heard Eren's cry as he shifted into his other form, looming over them as he came face to face with the being that killed him over and over again.

Mikasa tried to concentrate on taking out the Titans in the surrounding areas that keeps storming in, trying to keep herself busy so that maybe once Eren has given his all, they can at least win this one battle and for time to keep moving. She heard his wounded cries and it took everything she had not to look; guilt bubbling up in her stomach that she was abandoning him in his time of need.

She swung through as the Titans around her fell to the ground from her blades, and landed up on one of the trees. She went to take off again, but she saw the beast going for Eren's neck and her heart feeling like it was gonna stop. Mikasa froze where she was, unable to watch anything but the man she loved for countless lifetimes.

Eren recovered from the last hit a second earlier than he ever had, moving his massive arm to the side of the beast's face, and knocking it down. He quickly jumped on it in a way Mikasa had never seen before. Something…something changed. The titans didn't mean anything anymore as she dove for the ground, running across the field to where there were two bodies disintegrating this time. Others were on their way too being led but who looked like Levi headed towards what was once the beastbut Mikasa stopped short of them, her eyes trying to peer through the smoke.

Eren had one hand over his mouth as he coughed through the smoke, his face still with the telltale signs of regeneration. He was walking, he didn't look too hurt, he was breathing, he was walking.

She ran towards him and didn't stop until his arms caught her. He must've seen her coming to catch her like that but her weight still knocked him off balance, both of them falling to the ground.

"Mikasa," he groaned, one hand reaching up to rub the back of his head. "What was that for?"

She was holding herself over him, one of his hands still on her back. "You listened to me." She couldn't hold back the smile on her lips, the choked cry as tears fell down her face, but this time, for the first time, it was because of happiness.

"Hey," Eren sat up, taking her with him, as he held her face in his hands. "What is going on? Of course I did. I wouldn't just leave you here."

She let out a choked cry as her head leaned into his touch. "I'm sorry, I'm just…I'm sorry. I put you through so much."

He leaned in to press his lips to her forehead. "Mikasa, you are always forgiven."

Her eyes widened but before she could say anything, he pulled her into him, his arms tight around her. She held him back, her arms around his neck and her head pressed close to his.

The sharp pain in her head never came.