The show! Will! Go! On!
Keldeo reared up on his hind legs, his expression serious and his Secret Sword raised and glowing brightly.
Keldeo the Critic
Editorial 4- The Land Before Time XIV?
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"It's me! Keldeo the Critic. I review it so you don't have to," Keldeo said brightly, "For those of you who follow the League of Fannon Critics, you probably are aware of a certain topic that Ryu Taylor the Ferret and Spike the Snob have talked about" The Land Before Time series."
"The Land Before Time is a very famous cartoon created by a genius by the name of Don Bluth, also famous for other good films like The Secret of NIMH. Don Bluth believed that you could show dark, serious, and mature content to children if you did it with quality, effort, and gave a happy ending and good moral. The Land Before Time was about a group of young dinosaurs who go on a dangerous journey in search of a save haven called the Great Valley. It was charming, action packed, emotional, and pretty dark at some points. All in all, a good movie that many consider to be a masterpiece."
Keldeo moaned and said, "And then we got 12 sub-par direct-to-video sequels! They took a dark, gritty, mature, awesome movie and turned into a series of Saturday morning cartoons for Generation 3 My Little Pony fans!"
Keldeo took a deep breath and said, "But now, we've got news of another movie to add to the long chain of direct-to-video sequels."
Keldeo nodded, and said, "Now, I feel that I ought to add my voice to the Land Before Time discussion by talking about this new 2016 sequel. So, the title is gonna be The Land Before Time XIV: Journey of the Heart. The plot: "Littlefoot and his friends head out to the Mysterious Beyond to find Littlefoot's father Bron after he fails to return to the Great Valley and mysteriously disappears."
Keldeo smiled sheepishly and said, "Oh yeah, spoiler alert for The Land Before Time X, Littlefoot's father is still alive."
Keldeo became serious and said, "Well, as for this plot. . . it has potential. I mean, Littlefoot loosing his father right after he found him again and then going on a journey of the heart to find him sounds like a really emotional, touching, and adventurous story-line. 'But wait,' you're probably saying, 'aren't all direct-to-video sequels doomed to be bad no matter what?'"
Keldeo shook his head resolutely and said, "No. I don't agree with that. In fact, I thought that The Land Before Time VIIand X were good, actually. The seventh had good build up and a good social commentary on cults, and the tenth movie was touching and Shorty was a very interesting character. So no, not all the sequels were terrible."
Keldeo looked thoughtful and said, "But how do we keep the 14th movie from being as bad as the other ones?"
Keldeo shrugged and said, "Well, look, it's been a while since those bad movies have been put out. I'm sure that after all this time, after all those bad writers have either retired, quit, or been fired, that we'll get some people who care a little bit more or want to make something of better quality. I mean, time has passed. I'm sure that what makes a kids film has gotten better over time. Plus, this movie will have to compete with Pixar's The Good Dinosaur, so maybe they'll just have to try harder because of that."
Keldeo nodded and said, "But I have a few ideas that might help make this movie a bit better."
"First, they should use CGI. NOT expensive CGI like in Walking With Dinosaurs 3D, that movie was awful by the way. Anyway, using some nice detailed colorful CGI would really breathe new life into the franchise. I know the series has always been hand drawn, but going with CGI can help separate it from the bad sequels and help draw people in, both old and new. CGI has come a long way. It looks so cool, you can see actual fur and scales, and even if it's obvious animated, it gives a higher level of detail and dimension that 2D animation can't give."
"Second, don't modernize the characters too much. Don't make them act like cocky teenagers. Sure, you could write them as older, smarter, and more mature if you want, but don't have them make random modern references they would have no way of knowing like the Ice Age characters do. It's called the land BEFORE time for a reason, you know."
"Third, they need an actual villain. We don't need anymore stupid annoying bullies or stupid annoying comedic predators. The sharptooth from the first movie was an awesome villain, and he didn't need a voice or an evil plan. What we need is an actual threat that can scare us a bit. I don't care if you use the mutant raptor from Jurassic World. Just give us an intimidating villain. Which leads up to my fourth and final point:"
"Fourth, made it darker and edgier, not Saturday morning kiddy stuff!" Keldeo demanded with a slam of his hoof, "MGM is already gonna ruin The Secret of NIMH with a live action/CGI hybird! So why not show Don Bluth some respect with this Land Before Time sequel! You can still have lighthearted moments and funny jokes, but please put in some gritty darkness. I'm not saying to kill his father in the end or anything, I mean, come on, Don Bluth did say that a happy ending was important. I'm not even saying to kill Cera, which I'm sure is very tempting. But make some close calls. Make some danger. Make some heart-wrenching and emotional moments. Make some action!"
Keldeo glared hard, and then cooled down and said, "Oh yeah, and try to work in Shorty if you can. Seriously, he has a lot of potential."
Keldeo smiled and said, "Well, those are my reactions and suggestions regarding the 14th Land Before Time film. And if you wanna see reviews for the infamous Land Before Time sequels, check out the YouTube Channel of Zachary Matthew James, a.k.a, Samhain the Dark. This critic plans on reviewing every single sequel for you all."
"I'm Keldeo the Critic, I review it so you don't have to," Keldeo said, and he walked off.
The End
Credits
Ryu's Journal by Ryu Taylor the Ferret
Spike the Snob by thardragonwiththetophatcom
Jurassic World
MGM
Wikipedia
Zachary Matthew James