When the light cleared, she was more confused than ever, wondering where she was. Most importantly, she didn't know why she was still herself. She ran a hand through her hair, looking for memories she shouldn't have. If she was alive, she should be on LA Lax right now, shouldn't she? And if she didn't, and if she wasn't dead... What if...? She started thinking hard on the issue. Jack was right, the fact that she hadn't felt any danger coming once he'd set off to detonate the bomb had to mean something. Maybe they were, indeed, meant to detonate it, but the outcome could be totally different. What if... they were simply back? Back to their timeline.
Jack. He was the only thing on her mind right now. She had to know that he was all right, that he was alive. How close was he to the blast? Could it hurt him? She couldn't...
Alice just turned around and ran to the Swan station. Ran as fast as she could, being nearly out of breath, but it didn't matter. She didn't stop running.
She came to an abrupt stop once she reached the station – or what was left from it – she realized as she saw the destroyed hatch. Miles must've been right, she decided when she recalled a conversation he'd had with Hugo that she overheard. They had really caused the famous incident. It helped them come back to their original timeline, but it was still their fault. Alice didn't even want to think about how many people had died that day. Good thing was that Chang had evacuated everyone he could.
There, Alice stilled and everything just flew away from head as she saw Jack. He was lying in the grass and he wasn't moving. All her instincts screamed at her to just get to him despite everything. She needed to see that he was all right. She was simply in love with him and the heart wanted what it wanted.
"Jack!" she called his name and was squatting by his side immediately, gently putting her hands on him and turning him on his back. After a few terribly long and terrifying seconds, he finally opened his eyes, looking at her and then around dizzily.
"What happened?" he finally asked when placing his hand on his forehead and wincing. "Where are we?"
"By the hatch," she said and then he finally understood what he did.
In that moment, Alice heard Sawyer's angry voice, "You were wrong!" and before she managed to warn Jack about what she just felt inside her stomach, James kicked him in the head and sent him tumbling down the slope of the pit. "Juliet's dead because of you!"
"James!" Alice called his name, terrified of what he was going to do to Jack. Of what he already did. She tried to stop him by grabbing his arm, but he only yanked it away.
"Juliet's dead, you son of a bitch, because you were wrong!" he repeated, looking at Jack who was just getting shakily back to his feet.
"I'm sorry," he said all he could in that moment, his voice desperate, broken. His face was, too as Alice noticed, feeling her own heart reaching out to him. She wanted nothing more than to just take him into her arms and tell him that everything would be all right. She just wasn't sure he deserved it after everything he'd done to her. "I thought it would work. I really did," Jack added and then James started screaming at him all over again. It all made Alice feel sick to her stomach and this time it had nothing to do with her ability. Kate, who came over soon enough, yelled at them to just stop it. Alice thought the brunette must've noticed the state she was in, but then Kate surprised them all by saying, "I can hear something."
There was silence as they were listening to what they were supposed to hear and eventually, they did. It was a muffled voice, calling for help.
"Juliet!" James screamed and got down to the centre of the hatch himself. "Juliet! I'm coming! If she dies, I'll kill you," he then informed Jack before desperately trying to clear the rubbles, so he could squeeze through. Once everyone else got over their surprise, they started helping him.
In that moment, a Dharma car rode over and Jin stepped out of it, informing that Sayid was bleeding out and they needed Jack. Alice was kind of curious to why the car traveled through time with them, but she figured that it happened with objects they were currently using like clothes.
Jack didn't move, first making his priority to help Sawyer get to Juliet and then, once they actually used the car to haul off some particularly large piece of metal, James was able to get down there and Jack, completely ignoring everyone else, finally ran to take care of the Iraqi.
Alice felt as though she was transparent. She knew that Jack was the only doctor they had and he needed to think of the injured first, but it kind of hurt her that he didn't even look at her. Not since she'd stirred him awake. So she waited. She waited for James to come back with – hopefully – alive Juliet. She waited to see if Sayid would live.
After maybe ten minutes, James finally emerged back from the pit, holding a body in his arms. Jack chose that moment to get back and Alice could see it clearly on his face that he couldn't do anything to help Sayid. He couldn't save Juliet either and that caused Alice to actually come near him, ready to cover him with her own body if James tried something. He did promised to kill Jack if Juliet died, after all.
Both Alice and Kate watched Jack and Sawyer eying each other, one with a gaze full of hate and the other with a broken one; being the defeated and lost man yet once again. Alice
remembered when he told her how sure he was that it would work. Well, it did work, but not the way he expected it to.
"I can help!" they suddenly heard Hugo calling out to them and they all looked at him. "A guy
named Jacob told me how," he added.
"Jacob who?" Jack just asked, frowning, not having heard the name before.
"Jacob?" Alice, on the other hand, got interested, a recognition sounding in her voice.
"You know him?" Jack turned to her in surprise.
"He's the guardian of the island, kind of a leader of the leader. Apparently, he's the one who's given us all those special abilities," she relayed what she knew.
"Well, he's kind of... dead," Hurley said.
"So you can see him?" Alice's interest was piqued. Was this another gift Jacob had given?
"Yeah... I kind of... can talk to the dead, dude."
"Well, I still don't know what to think of Jacob. I just barely found out about him myself, but I
guess we have no choice here but to listen to him," Alice decided.
James ignored her completely, just walking right by her and away from the car with Juliet's body still in his arms. Then he put the body near the trees. "I ain't going anywhere," he informed. "I need to bury her."
"I'll stay and help," Kate offered, but he immediately said no, his voice gruff and hostile.
"It's ok." Alice went over to her and put her hand on Kate's arm. "I'll stay. It'll be easier for him to have a friend by his side rather than an ex."
Kate just nodded and jumped into the car after Jack. Only Miles and Alice stayed behind.
"Alice," Jack called her once Hurley was about to start the engine.
"I'm staying, Jack," she said. "He needs me."
Jack wanted to tell her that he needed her more, but he changed his mind and just closed the door.
Alice kind of guessed what he was trying to say, but ignored it. Jack came back to just being Jack. He jumped from one saving mode to another and right now he felt like he needed to fix Sayid. But what about them? Alice thought. What about their relationship? Would he ever try to fix that, too? Or was it simply too late?
When the car was gone, Alice went over to James and Miles who were already digging up a grave. She wanted to help, but they refused, so she just waited, watching James and feeling so sorry for him. She wanted to help him so badly and she didn't know how. It was truly killing her. She'd wanted to see him, to talk to him so much after she'd left the island on that helicopter; she'd wanted to know whether he was all right. Now she did know. And he wasn't all right because Jack had taken them all back and destroyed what Sawyer and Juliet had built in Dharma.
Once the last shovel of sand was thrown atop the fresh grave, James put the tool away and turned to Miles, "What was she trying to tell me?" he asked the man.
"What?" Miles seemed confused.
"Don't play dumb with me. You talk to dead people. Juliet was trying to tell me something before she..." his voice trailed off.
"Jim, it's not how this works," Miles started.
"Just tell me!" James grabbed his shirt and screamed right into the poor guy's face.
"So, that's why you wanted me to stay," Miles realized sadly and finally, he got down to the grave and listened.
It was quite fascinating for Alice to watch his focused face in that moment. Then she saw him wince slightly and move his head, clearly channeling something. It stopped as quickly as it started.
"So?" James demanded.
"It doesn't matter," Miles said when raising up from the ground. He quickly met with Sawyer's fist.
"James!" Alice yelled at him, scared of what he was capable of when grieving.
"Just tell me!" he demanded.
"It worked," Miles said.
"What worked?!"
By now, Alice had tears in her eyes, truly desperate to help and not knowing how to. She wanted to fix her friend, but couldn't. She wanted to fix everything. She should've stopped Jack from ever coming back to the island. She should've stopped all of them. But how was she supposed to know?! Maybe she finally understood how Jack felt sometimes.
"That's what she wanted to tell you. It worked," Miles rephrased.
"What worked?!" James repeated, but his friend only turned around and walked away, probably heading to the temple.
Alice was crying for real now. Sawyer walked in the opposite direction and she followed.
"I'm sorry about Juliet," she said because there was really nothing else to say and nothing to do but be by his side, be his support.
"It's not your fault she's dead," James said to her surprise, his voice coming back to normal. "It's mine." He suddenly came to a stop and then sat down on a fallen tree branch, hiding his face in his hands. "She wanted to leave and I convinced her to stay... you know, I was going to propose," he confessed after a moment.
Alice's heart lurched for him again. She sat by his side and put her arms around him as that was the only thing she could do for him. Eventually, he held on to her and started to sob.
Once he stopped and got back up, they didn't talk about it, they just walked together in silence. Alice wondered where she should go next. She didn't know where James was heading, but for now she stuck with him, not really wanting to go to the temple and deal with everything that might be waiting for her there. She remembered what Richard told her about Jacob, about him looking for a replacement. She didn't want to be one. She had better plans for her future. Only her plans were nothing if she didn't get Jack back.
She felt sick out of the sudden. It was a new day, a fresh morning, so she suspected she just hadn't eaten enough, but then she actually had to stop and support her hand against a tree. And then it came. She bent over and threw up, not understanding why. It was a good thing that there was a small stream nearby and a few mango trees. She needed to rinse her mouth and then eat something. Only if she felt sick because she didn't have anything in her stomach, then why she threw up in the first place? She was so lost in her thoughts and so focused on making herself feel better that she totally forgot about Sawyer. That was why she jumped when she heard him ask, "What, now you're pregnant?"
She stilled, thinking hard about what he implied, but she couldn't be. First of all, she couldn't have kids and even if that wasn't a problem on the island – which hadn't healed her the first time around, by the way – it was way too soon after her night with Jack. She was no doctor, but she knew that a pregnancy would probably make itself know after few weeks, not barely few days.
"Does the doc know?" James asked again.
"I... I don't know..." Alice started in a quiet voice and then she finally looked at James. "Listen, I don't know what this is, so do me a favor and don't say anything to Jack, ok?"
"Hey!" James actually raised his hands in surrender. "Not my place, not my secret to tell! I just think if you're pregnant, he deserves to know, is all."
"Where are you going?" Alice asked, definitely changing the topic.
"Dharma," he answered, "but you ain't going with me. Sorry, sweetheart, but this is something I need to do on my own. You should come back to doc because if you're really pregnant, you should make it right. It's not like I can kill him now. I ain't taking a father from an unborn baby."
"Is that supposed to be funny, James?" Alice asked him sarcastically. "But it's all right. I understand. Just do me a favor and don't do anything stupid, all right?"
"Sure, sweetheart and seriously, go to the temple. No child wants to be raised without a father. Trust me, I know."
"Jesus, James! I can't be pregnant, ok?!" Alice got angry with him. What the hell gave him the idea, anyway?
"The way I see it, everything is possible on this damned island."
"Well, I don't think I can come back. I don't think I even want to. You saw him. He's jumped right into another project. Sayid needed saving and Jack went with that, leaving us for later."
"It's because he thinks he's already lost you. Don't give up on him just yet," James advised. "He may not last for long in this place... Oh, and you know what? He doesn't deserve someone as amazing as you and it's the truth."
"James..."
"I know, I know, you love the guy. It's just all I want for you right now is to be happy, Alice," his voice softened and he wiped the lonely tear that fell from her eye. "You deserve it more than any one of us."
She looked up at him with more tears coming and then she just hugged him.
"Be careful, James."
"Always am." After that, he was just gone.
Where should she go? She wondered, really not wanting to go to the temple and deal with all that Jacob's crap. Then she figured it out. She'd go see Richard. For him it must've been a very long time since he'd last seen her. Maybe it would be a nice surprise. She kind of wondered whether he still remembered her, but how could he not? After all, he'd told her more about himself than he did anyone else.
The problem was that she didn't know where Richard's camp actually was at the moment. She decided it would be safe if she just continued in the direction it had been before. The clearing was empty, but maybe they were somewhere close.
She came to a sudden stop when she heard someone grunting in pain. She tentatively walked towards the bushes and peaked through, opening her eyes widely as she actually saw the man in question and... Locke? No, that wasn't possible. Locke was dead. Still, she saw a man who looked exactly like him and he just hit Richard and it seemed like it wasn't the first time.
Alice couldn't stand this anymore. She couldn't stand the man suffer like this, so she ran out of the bushes and screamed, "Stop!"
Both Richard and Locke were surprised on seeing her suddenly appearing there, but the first
seemed to be more so. He was looking at her as though he couldn't believe she was there, his eyes opened widely. And she wished she could speak to him, but she didn't want to do it in front of the man in John Locke's body. She could sense that he wasn't who he seemed to be. She could also sense that she should stay away from him just the same.
"You're dead," she finally said because she didn't know what else she should tell him.
"It's not John Locke, Alice!" Richard informed her when slowly getting up from the ground. "Get away from here! Just run!"
"No," she denied, shaking her head. "I won't leave you here with him," she decided bravely and earned another surprised look from Locke.
"I wish you both changed your minds. When you're ready to join me, when you'll understand that this is the right choice, come and find me. I'll be waiting for you." After that, he disappeared in the jungle.
Alice didn't wait for long, she was immediately by Richard's side, her hands on his arms, "Are
you all right?" she asked. "Did he hurt you badly?"
He was still looking at her as though he'd just seen a ghost.
"Who was that?" she asked him, ignoring the look he was giving her. She just really needed to know.
"The black smoke. He's stuck like this now. He used Ben to kill Jacob," Richard informed.
"Yeah, I heard," she sighed.
"Wait..." He stopped her when she tried to take her hands away from him. "Are you... from the past? Or the future?" he asked with a frown.
"No." She shook her head. "This is my original timeline. Jack returned us to it by detonating the bomb. I just... I just talked to you," she explained.
"That was thirty years ago," Richard pointed out.
"Yeah, I know. It's crazy!"
"I thought you were dead," he then confessed.
"You did?"
"Well, you all disappeared, so it was either that or Jack was right and I was never going to see you again. Only then your plane crashed and that surprised me."
"You saw that?" she asked, overwhelmed by all this information. She needed to sit down, which she did immediately and he followed her.
"Yeah, I did. I stayed away when it happened because I knew you didn't know me yet and I didn't think I could change anything."
Alice was just looking into his eyes, trying to comprehend it all. It was truly crazy, but it happened. Then she noticed the cut over his eye. "Does it hurt?"
"I'll live."
"You bruise easily like for a guy who can't die," she noticed.
"I can't die, but I can get hurt."
"Oh, ok, then."
"It's… it's really nice to see you," he suddenly confessed and she just had to look at him again. "I was watching you sometimes, you know. After you crashed on this island. But I never came close enough."
She stilled, feeling like all the pieces of the puzzle were finally falling back together and she gasped when she realized something. "I did feel like I was being watched sometimes! That was actually you?!" She nearly couldn't believe it. Yet, it was so obvious now. That was why she felt like they'd already known each other when she met him. It was because he was always there, watching over her, maybe even keeping her safe when she didn't realize it. That was why she subconsciously trusted him right away when she saw him for the first time.
"I kept you safe, too," he told her what she seemed to know already.
"It was a close call with that cave-in," he then said, ''but I made sure your blonde friend heard rustling in the trees and came near enough to heard you and Jack calling for help," he explained and Alice's head already felt like it would burst any moment. It was truly too much.
"So, I do not only owe you my life, but Jack's, too," Alice realized and then she thought about it some more. "Maybe you should have come to me," she told him bitterly. "Maybe you would have saved me a lot of misery but warning me about my future."
"It doesn't work that way," Richard just said sadly.
"How do can you know that?!" she raised her voice slightly. "You should've come and taken me with you!"
He just sighed and looked down at the grass. "How did you get yourself so lost, Alice?" he then asked. "You were not supposed to come look for me."
"Again, how can you know that?" she repeated. "You might have known more about the past than I did once the plane crashed, but right now we both have no way of knowing the future."
"Well, all I know right now is that we need to go to the temple."
"Why? Because Jack went here?" Alice snorted, not liking the idea at all. For once she didn't want to chase after him.
"No, because it's the safest place on this island right now," Richard informed. "The man in John Locke's body wants us all dead. Come," He stood up and reached his hand to her. She looked at it and then looked at him and she just said stubbornly, "I am not going to the temple."
"You're avoiding him, Alice," he noticed when she raised from the ground all by herself and brushed her clothes off.
"Nope. I just want him to fight for me for a change. When will he do just that, Richard? Why is there always something more important than me? I'm his wife. I'm supposed to be the love of his life, God, damn it!" She actually started crying again and she hated herself for it.
"You are," Richard assured her.
"Yeah, on paper. Apparently, there's always something more important than me and there will always be."
She was so angry at Jack at the moment that she just wanted to hurt him like he'd already hurt her. She wanted him to feel the pain of having her heart broken over and over again and then she did something foolish. Something out of pure desperation and something that wasn't like her at all. She cupped Richard's face and kissed him, already feeling guilty about it.
He actually kissed her back there for a moment, but then he pulled away abruptly. Maybe it was a good thing, Alice decided when closing her eyes and placing her hand on her mouth, regretting what she'd done and feeling awful about it.
"Alice..." Richard started and didn't know what to say next.
"You just seem like the perfect man, Richard," she said, but she wasn't able to look at him just yet. He really seemed to be perfect, but the problem was that she didn't want perfect and this kiss just proved it to her. All she wanted was Jack. Even as broken as he was now.
"I'm far from perfect," Richard assured her. "We all have our demons and you made your choice and a promise to help Jack with his. You need to honor that, Alice. You need to because he is the one you really love."
"Yeah," she admitted quietly. "I know. But it's just so hard right now."
"No one said it would be easy."
"I'm sorry for kissing you," she finally apologized and gathered up the courage to look at him.
"It's all right." He smiled to her a little.
If this kiss told her something, it told her that she was still in love with her husband, no matter how much she hated him at the moment. She missed Jack's lips and the tingling in her bones and in her stomach and the sparks when she was with him. Why couldn't he just fight for her? She wondered.
"If you don't want to go to the temple, where do you want to go?" Richard asked.
"I just want to stay here for a while. Is that all right? I need... time."
The next morning she threw up again, realizing the sickness was hitting her like clockwork. Still, it didn't make any sense! How could she be pregnant if she'd slept with Jack barely a week ago?! And even if she was, she wasn't sure how she felt about it. She'd used to want to have a child with him so badly, but now... Now she just didn't know anymore. She wanted to go talk to him and tell him everything, but somehow even though she loved him, they'd grown so much apart that sometimes she felt like she was talking to a stranger and not to her husband. He'd hurt her too much and she just wanted him to say that he was sorry. She wanted him to come find her and not the other way around. And now she was supposed to add a baby to that equation?! It was too much!
"You're pregnant, aren't you?" she heard Richard's voice and nearly jumped. He surprised her just like Sawyer the day before.
"How can I be?" she just asked, not turning around to face him just yet. "I can't possibly know this fast. My body hasn't had enough time to..."
"I think the island finally granted you your wish and healed you," Richard said when coming closer and squatting by her side.
"Maybe, but it's too soon to actually have morning sickness, isn't it?"
She saw at the corner of her eye that he shrugged. "You can sense things deeper than any one of us. That's probably why you already know."
She thought of the future and Jack and she felt so powerless that she said spitefully, "I could just stay here and have this baby and screw Jack."
"No, you can't," Richard told her calmly. "First of all, you will die if you give birth on this island and second of all, this baby has a father and he deserves to know, Alice. He deserves at least that much. Jack has to have a chance to raise it."
Alice finally looked at Richard, straight into his eyes and saw the wisdom he possessed from
living for so long. She hated that he was right.
"Deep down inside, you don't really want to push Jack away," he then spoke again, "you may
hate him right now and you may want to hurt him, but it's just another aspect of a strong love. If you stay, it won't be fair to the both of you."
She was silent, didn't know what to say to that, so she chose not to say anything. And then
Richard asked her, "Why are you even here, Alice? Why did you come back? It wasn't to find me. It was to get him back. You came back for your husband."
"Maybe," she admitted, "but I thought he'd be different and now I'm just lost. I love and always will love Jack, but... this love hurts too much right now... God, I'm whining, aren't I?" she then realized, ashamed of herself. "You probably have more important things to do than playing the role of my therapist." She stood up.
"I don't mind if it helps you," he said. "Besides, what can I do now anyway? Jacob is gone. I'm still immortal. I think I can spare some time."
She actually laughed at that and he reciprocated, loving that the sad expression on her face was finally replaced by something else, even if briefly.
"I know what love can do. I know something about hurting and holding on, trust me."
She thought of the way he lost his wife and she felt sorry for him. She'd never met a sadder man than Richard and she wished she could help him somehow. Only some people couldn't be helped no matter how hard you tried.