Neither of them would have predicted it would have been Sam that was not ready the next time they tried to have sex. Traumatized by what happened with Hathor, he avoided her advances more than once, but this night it seemed like whatever curse was preventing them from being together was finally going to end.
When Sam starts breathing hard under him he mistakes it for excitement at first. When he realizes that she is having a panic attack he feels simply awful. He pulls away from her, and sits on the bed next to her waiting until her breath returns to normal.
"I don't even know what that was," she practically whispers.
"It was a panic attack, Sam. Is that the first time that it's happened?" he asks gently.
"Yes, I'm so sorry."
"Don't be, Sam," he says. There is anger in his eyes, and it's only with the easy tone that he says this that she realizes the anger is not for her. He guessed more about the whole thing than he thought he would.
She runs a hand over her belly, "When this baby was conceived…" she begins, but she can't continue the sentence.
"Jonas raped you."
"It wasn't…" Sam begins, but Jack cuts her off. He is done with her excuses for the monster that she used to date.
"No Sam. It was rape. It was rape, or else you wouldn't have a panic attack like that."
She pauses. Surprising even herself, she has changed a great deal in the short time that she has known him. "Maybe it was. I don't think he meant it to be though."
"That doesn't matter."
"I was into what was happening…" she begins
"You're allowed to change your mind at any time," he interrupts.
"I know," she says softly. "He refused to put on a condom. I told him no, and then he continued. I must have tensed up, because it hurt like hell. I screamed and it didn't matter."
"It didn't hurt because you tensed up Sam. It hurt because he was raping you."
"He said that after a certainly point, a man just couldn't stop."
"Well, that is just absolute shit," Jack declares.
He holds out his arm with a question on his face. She nods, and he lays on the bed next to her.
"I usually don't even use condoms as protection," she adds, "I use the pill. But he used to cheat on me, so I told him some lie about how the pill negatively affected my body, so he would use a condom. If I had been more honest with him…"
"They you wouldn't be about to have a wonderful son," he finishes for her.
She leans more against him, "I might have been able to have your son, when it was right."
Jack puts his hand on the bulging stomach, "I am furious about what he did to you, but I don't regret this particular unique baby being here."
"Before I told you about the baby, I wasn't sure I was going to keep him," she whispers. She examines his face quickly looking for any sign of he is shocked or horrified.
"I think it's understandable that you felt that way, but I'm really glad you changed your mind."
"I am too," she says.
He takes a deep breath, and sighs with contentment when he smells her hair. It does something to her insides, the way this man loves her.
"I've got to warn you though," she tells him, "I'm getting stronger being around you. You keep that up, and I might leave if you cheat on me."
"Sam, I already have," he says sadly.
"Kynthia doesn't count," she tells him.
"You really think so? Then what happened to the bed?" he asks.
"Daniel has a big mouth."
"Daniel didn't say a word, did you seriously think I wasn't going to notice that there was a different bed there when I got home than when I left?"
"I got one that was the exact same kind."
He reaches his hand up, "Charlie chewed on the old one when he was teething."
"Well, I'm sorry I burnt it then," she says pouting.
"Burnt it? You set our bed on fire?" he says.
"I didn't know about the cake then. I never would have done it if I knew it wasn't your choice," she says.
His face goes hard, "Sam, I don't want to lie to you. What happened beyond Kynthia and I…" he struggles to come up with the next words.
"If you don't think things are complicated between Jonas and I then you shouldn't think they were complicated between Kythia and you. She drugged you."
"You are never going to have to worry about me cheating on you again," he promises her instead of arguing with her. He has already figured out that any accusation of himself will sound like an accusation of her.
"Even if it takes a long time for me to be ready for sex?"
"I have long ago accepted that the universe has decided that you and I are never going to be together."