Chapter 20:
That evening Oliver surprised her with a dessert in their bed. "It's my signature dish – chocolate soufflé."
"Hhmm.. looks yum! But you didn't get any spoons," she laughed, putting her book down on the bedside table. "Wait I'll summon them," she said, turning to get her wand.
"Who said we'd need spoons lass?" he queried in return, brow cocked seductively. He crooked his finger in the dessert bowl and spread the dessert on her forearm, following his finger's movements with his tongue and teeth.
"Ahh… Oliver…" she gasped as he went on to show her exactly why he had chosen to make that particular dessert for her that night….
!
Being with Oliver was turning into one big pleasant dream for Hermione, but she knew all dreams had to stop, we had to wake up to reality at long last. Seeing him distancing himself from Tatyana, Hermione had gotten worried. If I leave it for too long, he'll never consider her again, she reasoned and plucked at every shred of her courage to speak with him. She hadn't found a good chance to talk to him through the day, so she figured she'd best get it done right away, lest she keep pushing it and then it becomes too late "Oliver…"
"Uhm… love…" he said from where he'd just crashed on her chest, still catching his breath.
"Would you go out for dinner?"
He perked up at that. "Absolutely. I still owe you our second date! Anywhere you wish lass. Tell me and I'll make the reservations. When would you like to go?" he asked turning his face up to look at her, beaming happily. He'd love to take her out any day!
"Not with me Oliver."
He stiffened at that. The sheer shock making him go all rigid on her.
"Oliver we.. It's just that… You.. you need to understand this.. You need to have someone who understands you, who shares your interests…" she tried, while softly caressing his hair.
He pushed himself up on his arms, fixing her with a pointed glare.
"Don't look at me like that Oliver. It's what's best for you. You need someone like Tatyana to…."
And he saw red! His rage pumping all through him. How dare she throw another woman's name at me, in our bed no less. When not 10 seconds back we were just…..? I'm still sheathed in her! He glowered at her letting all his anger show in his eyes. "Do you even understand the position we are locked in right now?" he questioned bitingly moving himself in her, as if trying to remind her what she was talking, with whom and when!
"You're my wife Hermione! Why is it so difficult for you to comprehend that? I don't want anyone else. I don't need anyone else. I want you, just you, just the way you are." And then he added a little softly, "We'll work it all out together, whatever messed-up issues you are facing, all your insecurities, we'll talk them out but just stop trying to tell me what you think I need in a woman; you've been doing that since we first met!" He took in a small halting breath and added a little more softly than before.
"I don't need any of that lass. I just need you, only you. You're my undoing, and that's that for me. I'm not going anywhere else, however hard you push me. I don't know how long you'll take to understand something as simple as that but I'm not letting you go, not unless you come look me in the eye and tell me you feel nothing for me whatsoever. And I know that's not the case. I can feel it all in your touches and your kisses, so can we please for Merlin's sake drop the damned issue already?"
She nodded meekly and Oliver knew it was far from shut. He simply rolled off her and laid down beside her, waiting to see if she would come to him like she did every night.
She didn't.
And all this on the day I thought she was finally getting around to like me too! But he knew now was not the time to lick his wounds on that one, he had bigger battles to fight and he turned towards her, wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to him. "I will always pull you back lass. I won't let you throw me away. I won't let you ruin what we have here. This is us Hermione, this is how we are meant to be. I don't know why you refuse to understand this but …." he just turned her around and hugged her closer, burying her head in his chest, not giving an inch when she tried to pull away. I'll stay awake the whole night if I have to but I won't let you pull away from me, he promised.
!
For the first time since their wedding, Hermione walked out of their room without so much as a backward glance at Oliver. It was then that he knew he had to resolve the issue immediately or it was gonna break them apart. So that day, for the first time ever, Oliver Wood took a day off from quidditch.
To say Hermione was perplexed was putting it mildly. "Why aren't you going in for your practice today?"
"Why? I am not entitled to a day off when my life is falling apart by my ears?" he asked her furiously.
He spent the entire morning and then the afternoon trying to reason out with her but her thoughts remained firmly in place. Finally by the evening, Oliver's patience ran thin and temper high and he stomped his way out of the house.
She saw him sitting in the backyard, going through some stuff in a glass bowl, lost to the world. She couldn't stand seeing the defeated stance of his posture anymore so she went and sat beside him. Just leaning her head on his shoulder.
"I found this in your hands when you came back from your mission, three days before our wedding," he said handing over a torn piece of parchment to her. She remembered writing that letter but she'd thought that was a dream.
"The tickets to London Eye, when we went there for your parents anniversary," and he handed them to her. "I thought it would be the first of our many annual trips we'd make on the same day each year."
"I charmed this broom for you on the first Sunday you were away after our wedding. I thought you'd be more comfortable and safe on this," he handed over the miniaturized broom to her. "I polished it to match the color of your eyes from the second Saturday after our wedding, when you woke up all wanton in my arms," his smile was a little pained at that.
"It's from our wedding," he handed her a photograph in which he was looking intently at her while she was pointing at the lights above them. "That was the only time you actually spoke to me at our wedding." She winced at that, thinking back to their wedding and realizing that that was the truth.
And one after the other he kept pulling out stuff from the bowl and passing it over to Hermione, explaining its importance to him.
At the last one, he took the wind out of her sails.
"I wanted to surprise you. I took two weeks off adjoining the Christmas break. I thought we could celebrate Christmas here with my parents and New Year's with yours. That way even if they were out for the holidays, you'd get to see them once they'd be back. You always keep saying that we'd need to cross hemispheres to get some privacy and you mentioned you didn't want a honeymoon before your NEWTs, so I…." he passed on the tickets to her. "You once mentioned that it was not flying that you hated, just flying on things that weren't meant to be flown," he half smiled at that. "So I thought we'd give the muggle flying machine a try. I also rented the house just beside your parents' for the entire duration of our stay. I thought you might like to see them often. That since we'd be neighbors, we could charm them to get an opportunity to baby sit your sister, for a chance to get to know her. We… we might.." and he hid his face in his hands, rubbing at it furiously.
"Is this retribution Hermione?" he asked a little broken.
She stared at him in confusion.
"Are you punishing me for my horrid behavior in the beginning of our relationship? For staring at that woman on our first date? For being a jerk on our first night? Is that it? Is this pay back?" he asked defeat in his features.
"What! No! Oliver, how could you even think such a thing?" she leaned a little away to look at him, placing her hands on his cheeks.
And he snapped, "How could I think such a thing? I, Hermione? How are you able to think all these things at all? I'm your husband for Merlin's sake. Does that mean nothing to you?"
"It does Oliver and that's why am trying to do what's best for you."
"YOU ARE WHAT'S BEST FOR ME, YOU DAFT WOMAN!" he thundered, "AGREE TO IT OR DON'T, BUT YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO CONVINCE ME OF ANYTHING ELSE." Taking a breath to calm himself he tried again, "When have I ever given you any reason to think otherwise? Where am I going wrong Hermione? Tell me. Please. I beg of you, just please explain this to me."
She saw the pain in his eyes. Her proud Scot was reduced to begging in front of her and she couldn't see it anymore. She just turned her head the other way around, tears running down her eyes – How did she explain this to him? Why was he making an already difficult situation unbearable for them both? She was breaking her heart to straighten up things for him and yet he was getting angry on her. How was she to explain things to him? How did she help him see it the right way?
"Where did I go wrong Hermione? Why are you doing this to us? Is your fear, your inhibition really that important to you that you won't let it go? Or is it really my fault for not addressing your worries and insecurities sooner. I just thought I was showing you.. that you understood.. that we could…" he said defeatedly and then he abruptly got up and walked out.
Hermione sat there, staring at everything in her hands and hugged her knees to her chest and cried for a long time.
!
He took a long walk all around the estate. Just walking, not really seeing or thinking. Just being. When he came back home, he found her sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace, her beaded bag in hand. "Oliver, I…" she started "are leaving me" he finished for her. She froze but did not deny it. He was torn, not knowing what to do or say any more. He was exhausted, too tired, too spent to do anything.
"Do what you want to Hermione… do what you wish, but know this… I'll be right here waiting for you to come to your senses. And if you don't do just that soon enough, I'll…." and he stopped, what was the point anyway? "Just go Hermione, do what you have to," he whispered in the same broken tone he had used in the backyard while showing her all his stuff. He then just walked off, without a backward glance.
!
Hermione went and stayed at Grimmauld Place with Harry and Ginny. She went straight to her room there and cried her eyes out. Two of her best friends just stared at her running figure, both unsure of what to do. "Time.." Ginny said to Harry, "let's just give her some time." He looked conflicted but nodded, knowing Ginny would understand girls much better than him anyway.