Pairing: Eren/Mikasa

Setting: Post Series; If they stayed in the military after the downfall of the titans

Words: 2113

Rating: K+ (One bout of Strong Language)

Notes: Anon requested Eren and Mikasa getting into a fight causing Eren to sleep on the couch, before he realized how wrong he was and went to make it up to her. As much as you all know I love my fluff, I do love portraying them fighting too (and fluff afterwards lol) because as much as those two care about each other they are both stubborn as all hell. I think it completely makes sense for them to bicker and butt heads. Title is from "Sorry" by Buckcherry.

I Just Wanted to Say I'm Sorry

Eren was dreading the question for months, though he knew it was coming. He saw it in Mikasa's eyes every time she looked at him from the moment they realized their goal had been achieved. He knew how much she wanted to live outside the walls in peace and have the home that was taken from her twice in her life and she had no idea how much he wanted to give that to her, but he just couldn't right now.

The military, while their original purpose was now null and void, had a lot to do in the new time of peace from the Titans and the people who controlled them. The Military Police went about how they always had, monitoring within the walls, where the Stationary Guard had taken to help transition people to a new life outside the walls and managed the comings and goings. The Scouting Legion transitioned into the branch of the military that would do the mapping and the pushing of the boundaries now that they were free. Eren, along with Mikasa and Armin, were promoted to Squad Leaders each with their own teams to venture out into the world that was opened up to them; though Levi did let them take their first mission as just the three of them like they always planned.

Eren knew he was enjoying the newer jobs open to him now that the Scouting Legion transitioned into its new purpose, and he knew Armin love it, this was what his old friend lived for. Mikasa was happy enough, Eren knew but he also knew it wasn't what she wanted. He just wasn't quite sure if he was ready to move on, the leave the one place he knew since he was twelve years old, wanting to be a member of the Scouting legion for much longer than that.

Which is why he shouldn't have been surprised when Mikasa stood in front of him in the small military apartment they shared, biting back the question he knew was on her mind.

"Eren?" she asked, standing over the sink and scrubbing a few dishes.

He felt a weight of guilt in the pit of his stomach as he looked up from the table he was sitting at; he really didn't even have to ask her what it was. "Yeah?" he asked.

"Have you thought…" She looked down at the sink before she looked back to him, obviously not wanting to have to ask the question. "Have you thought about leaving the military at all?"

He thought out his words very carefully. Eren loved her, and he wanted to give her everything she wanted, but there was still work to be done, he couldn't just leave now. "I mean, yeah, eventually."

Mikasa might have been good about masking her emotions with anyone else, but Eren could see right through it and he saw the way her face fell. The guilt only intensified. "Eventually?"

He shrugged trying at acting casual about his answer. "It's just there's a lot to be done to help this place, this new world and all these people moving into it before we can just get up and leave. We still have a duty to the Scouting Legion." It was true, they were some of the oldest members there now, and they had to help the new recruits get their wings too. He tried to ignore the fact that Levi probably wouldn't care if Eren asked him to let them leave; Levi told Eren he was free to go whenever he wanted, that they earned at least that.

Mikasa wiped her hands on a towel as she looked over to him. "It's not like it used to be, Eren. We get new recruits almost every day and plenty of senior soldiers to take over. It's not like it would be leaving them in shambles, there're plenty of capable hands."

He knew she was right but his chest clenched; he couldn't just let it go. "As much as I'm glad the death toll isn't nearly as high as it once was so people can join and stay for long periods of time, it's only been a few years. This new world is in its infancy, we just can't leave them. It's not the right time."

She tossed the hand towel back on the counter and Eren knew he had struck a nerve. The whole atmosphere changed around them as Mikasa's eyes narrowed slightly. "Not the right time? So please, enlighten me, when would be the right time? When won't we be busy with training the new recruits, going away on separate missions for weeks on end, longer when we need to travel farther? When do you expect all of this to just end for you to think it's the right time?"

Eren clenched his jaw as she crossed her arms against his chest. Fighting with Mikasa wasn't anything new to him, they spent half their lives bickering, but it was a long time since the last time he remembered them having a fight. It still made him feel like it always made him feel, like Mikasa knew best and anything thing Eren had to say wasn't worth a damn. He couldn't have even stopped the anger rising in him if he tried.

"This is what we've always wanted. The Titans are gone; we can finally be at peace and explore the world like we always wanted to. Am I wrong in not seeing the bad here? Why don't you enlighten me and tell me what Mikasa thinks is best. Oh wait, I don't have to ask, you'll just tell me whatever the hell you want anyway."

Her fingers clenched into her hands. "No, Eren, this isn't what we've always wanted. This is what you wanted, and I gave you what you wanted for ten years. I joined the military because it was what you wanted to do, and I supported you and believed in you for all those years because it was what you wanted to do. I waited and I kept myself content in the military for years during the peaceful time so that you could help the Legion and help explore the world because I knew that's what you wanted." She paused and Eren saw her frustration reached her eyes. "When's it my turn to have what I've wanted for all these years?"

He felt the aching guilt in his stomach but his anger was swirling too much in his head for him to pay it attention. "Did you for once think that maybe, just maybe the good of humanity is a little bit more important than living out in the middle of nowhere somewhere?" Eren knew he crossed the line when he saw her eyes start to glisten. He instantly regretted saying his words, but he couldn't take them back.

It was silent for a moment, tension hanging in the air around them, before she spoke again. "I've given up my life and more for the good of humanity. What has it ever done for me?" Her voice was strained, laced with hurt. Before Eren could open his mouth again, Mikasa walked away, not giving him a second look as she moved to their bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

It was a statement to say where he could sleep tonight.

Eren let out a frustrated groan, hitting his fist against the table. Whatever. If that's how she wanted to act so be it. Like he cared. He roughly turned off the lantern on the table, before moving to turn of the one on the coffee table near the couch, nearly knocking it over when he shoved it. He tossed his shirt off and forcefully grabbed the blanket hanging over the couch before throwing himself down against it, back towards his bedroom and pulled the blanket over him.

Why didn't she understand? This is what they worked for all these years. They finally it all and she wanted to leave! To just leave the world they helped create, to leave the lives they had in store for them. Yeah, sure the missions would get longer, but Eren was sure Levi would let them go together, it wasn't so unusual. It's not like she would leave him either, they had been together for so long now of course she'd stay and they could go about their lives like they always had.

The guilt that filled him turned his stomach.

What the hell was he thinking? What kinda life was that? How could he continue to go about going on missions and living their lives here with Mikasa miserable by his side? How could he ever be happy when the person he loved most in the world longed for something else?

He tossed off the blanket with a groan. He was such a fucking moron. Mikasa stayed by his side for all these years, supporting him and giving him everything he needed to fulfill his goals and giving up her own. Now that they lived in a world that allowed it he could finally give her what she wanted most in the world, and yet instead he just fought her about it. If anyone, if anyone Mikasa deserved the world.

Eren sat up on the couch and swung his feet back to the floor. He really didn't want to face her now, but he'd never sleep if he didn't. He'd never sleep if she wasn't by his side; it was only a few minutes and he missed her presence with an ache in his chest. He pushed himself to stand and made the slow walk to the bedroom he shared with Mikasa.

She must've turned the lamp off already because the only light he saw was the moonlight drifting in through the open window, cascading light onto the bed. His chest clenched when he saw her curled up on his side of the bed. Mikasa wasn't facing him and didn't move to face him at all but she had to have known he was there.

Eren walked into the room until he was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing her and not sure what to say. She didn't say a word or even look over at him, though he could see her eyes were open. He tried to say something but nothing would come out. What do you say when you've hurt someone you loved so bad? There really was only one thing.

He crawled onto the bed, laying down next to her so that his chest was pressed up against her back, his legs bumping against hers under the blanket. He tentatively placed his arm over her waist as he pressed his lips to her bare shoulder. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry." He pressed another kiss onto her back. "Mikasa, I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot."

"I know," came her soft voice.

It made Eren crack a small smile. "I never should said those things, of course I didn't mean them. What you want is the most important thing to me, nothing else should matter. I'm sorry I got so frustrated."

She sighed and turned over to face him, her eyes meeting his. "No, I'm sorry. I know this is all you've ever wanted to do. It was selfish of me to ask you to leave when you worked so hard to get here."

Eren reached up a hand to her cheek; he never knew he could love someone like he loved her. He was so lucky, every day, that she was still here with him after all these years. "You've never been selfish. You've always put me and Armin before yourself. It's about time I did the same for you; you deserve that a hundred times over." He pressed a kiss to her forehead as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling herself into him and resting her head against his chest.

"I'll wait, for when the time is right," Mikasa said, her fingers drawing designs lightly on his back.

He knew she would. Mikasa would wait for him long past she ever needed to but he didn't want that. He did what he came here to do; it was Mikasa's turn now. "You've done enough waiting. I'll talk to Levi tomorrow."

Eren felt her trail her lips against his chest, placing soft kisses against him; it nearly made his heartbreak again. "I'm sorry," he said again into her hair. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she said softly, gently.

For the first time in what seemed like weeks, the guilt finally eased from the pit of his stomach. He was gonna do the right thing for her.