Dear Nick,

I love you, I'm sorry

But I am returning to Atlanta to take the plea.

I know you won't understand my decision but I have to do it.

Please forgive me and move on, don't wait for me or come after me. Don't come visit me.

I'm sorry,

Amanda

What the hell?

The words didn't make much sense even after the fifth time he read them. She took the plea? Why would she do that? Just leave without saying anything, just a few words on a paper. This is not a goodbye, this is bullshit.

He tried calling but got her voicemail again. It was her hand writing, this wasn't some conspiracy, she really left.

Nick didn't care about the note, this wasn't right. Did she really expect him to just forget about everything? Forget that he was in love with her? That she was in love with him?

No, he couldn't take it. What happened to no secrets? To talking about things?

He grabbed his stuff and drove to the airport. If she wanted to leave she should have had the decency to talk to him about it, not just disappear.

He felt guilty calling the captain, telling her he needed some time. But time wasn't on his side, maybe he could still talk her out of it.

When Amanda saw the video she almost missed it. It was there for a few seconds and she could have easily not notice, never know.

But she did notice and she did know.

When she got out of bed that night she tried to be as quiet as she could. She made the decision the moment everything clicked, but telling Nick wasn't something she could do, telling anyone was something she couldn't do. He will be hurt, he will be mad and hate her, hopefully forget her.

Nick was being so sweet, the things he said, the way he held her when they were walking back to his place. She really loved him and she really wanted to have all of the things he's been talking about, maybe he joked about it sometimes, but Amanda knew Nick wanted to have a family, and she wanted that with him.

But he deserved someone better anyway, not a woman whose life couldn't be normal, who had something good going, but at the same time had something terrible just lurking in the shadows.

She got dressed and packed her bag quickly, she couldn't take them to prison but she didn't want them to stay with him.

Amanda had to leave a note so he'd know it was her decision. But when she held the pen there were no words, she was fighting the tears and forced herself to write something, whatever. When she was done Amanda's eyes fell on their fortune 'love is right by your side' she wasn't staying by his side.

Amanda didn't look back when she stepped into the dark street, it was lit up but she couldn't see the light.

Chief Patton didn't bother trying to hide his smug smile when he got the call, she took the plea. Finally Amanda Rollins was going to pay for what she did to Carl. He remembered visiting him at college one time and they saw her.

"Check that ass out" Carl gestured at her and the Chief smiled.

"She's a lovely lady"

"Lady? Not after what I'm going to do to her"

Carl was failing and had to quiet college but the Chief promised to help him out with a job.

He didn't want it right away, Carl was planning a trip, he wanted to have a few months of fun, as he put it, he was going to return to Atlanta in the fall. But he decided that since he was leaving school, he had to get the one thing he wanted. Her.

That night Carl called him, told him what she tried to do, told him she hit him, broke his nose.

"That bitch" the Chief chuckled, acting like a prude when he knew she wasn't one.

A few months later Carl wasn't back from his trip. Patton started worrying, no one knew where he was and the Chief had no idea if he went off the grid. There was no reason for him to do that, he had a job for him at the APD.

The Chief started looking into it, when he found out Carl never left the US he knew something was off. He found footage of the encounter at the gas station, saw how that woman beat him.

He had a feeling she had something to do with it, maybe Carl decided to pay her another visit. She was moving on with her life when his nephew was nowhere to be found. This wasn't right.

He kept tabs on her, made sure she'd end up working in homicide with someone he could trust. She led them no where, worked most of the time, had a few relationship.

One day someone found his body, he was dead for five years and it was all because of her, it had to be. So what if there weren't any evidence? The lieutenant got him a single hair that was stuck to her chair, he needed DNA evidence. But this wasn't enough for a case so Patton decided to wait and build something stronger. Almost no one knew about this.

But the bitch found herself a man from New York and after a few months of back and forth she asked for a transfer. The lieutenant gave him the heads up, there was no time to waste.

He made sure someone found the body, made sure the judge on the case would be an old friend who owed him few favors.

But that jerk from New York stood by her, didn't leave after he got that visit from the Chief's friend, helped her, so he asked the DA to offer a plea, hoping she'd take it and not risk a trial, he could get friendly jurors. Fifteen years weren't enough but some day an incident would occur…prisons are not very safe.

Ever since they got together the few hours of the flight and the drive to her apartment always seemed longer than they actually were. He always felt like he couldn't wait to see her and it made each minute stretch into an hour.

But now that he was completely in the dark, not knowing why she was doing this, it felt like months, years. He had no idea when she left and really hoped that maybe he'd run into her at the airport. But that was not the case and he rented a car and drove to her place, knowing he wasn't welcomed.

He had a key and unlocked the door. Maybe this wasn't real, maybe he'd open the door and…what? She'd say it was a mistake, he read wrong?

Nick had a whole speech planned, but the moment he saw her, standing in the living room, packing something up, it was all gone. He wanted to hug her, tell her he loved her. But then he remembered she left him, leaving a note with a bizarre explanation, not really giving him any reason.

"Why?" was all he was able to mutter.

"Nick" she looked upset to see him, but he was upset not seeing her this morning.

The speech came back and he took out the note from his pocket "is this all I get? I'm sorry? After everything you tell me you're taking the plea? Just like that?"

"I'm sorry Nick" she said quietly "I can't…I love you but…"

"How can there be a but Amanda? I think we had enough of those" he felt his eyes getting teary, he felt like this woman, a woman he loved more than anything else, was giving up on what they had. After all of the obstacles, all the things that came between them…she was tearing it apart.

"Nick, I am so sorry" she looked at him "you need to go back to New York, move on with your life"
"Move on" Nick raised his voice and let out an angry laugh "do you want to hear how I moved on after that fight we had because of this guy? I went out to get a drink and I met a woman I wasn't interested in at all, but her name was Amanda, and all I wanted was to think about you. I was in her bed calling you name, and I felt like crap, I felt so guilty I saw her again to make it up to her. But I didn't care about her, I only liked her name and every time I wanted it to be you. I knocked her up and we got married. For years I've been miserable, I was alone. When I thought I'd have a child…I…I suffered for all this time Amanda, because I couldn't handle not being with you. Because I felt like I let you down" Nick could tell his words had an effect on her, it seemed like she was fighting back the tears, but she didn't say anything.

"Amanda" Nick took a few steps towards her "how can you say you love me and leave without an explanation? What they are doing to you is wrong, but you can't do this to yourself. Please, come back to New York with me, ask me to stay here…but not this, don't tell me to leave" he was begging, she was his family, she was his future. The tears freed themselves from his eyes but he didn't give a damn, he wanted her to see how much it hurt him, how hurt he was.

Amanda took a deep breath and Nick thought she looked like a terminally ill patient who reached the acceptance stage, as if she was fine with this.

"Nick" she wanted to reach for him but left her hand in the air "I'm sorry"

He didn't add another word, he lost his voice, lost everything. He turned away and tried not to slam the door. He sat in the car and was about to drive away, go back to New York and pretend he could forget about her, pretend he could feel something for someone else.

But he didn't start the engine. Something was wrong, he couldn't leave like that. He did that once and ended up wasting years on misery. Amanda wouldn't do this with no reason, she didn't want to go to prison, give up on her life, on their life.

There had to be a reason and he couldn't give up again. He made the wrong choice all those years ago, he should have stayed. He wasn't going to walk away now. Because even if she asked him to leave, it wasn't right. He was going to find out the truth.

Nick tried to focus, turn his detective mode on. Last night she acted a little strange, he though it may have had something to do with the confession she made, it wasn't an easy thing to share with another person. But she seemed alright after that, they were lying in his bed, just talked. When they at the bar Nick thought something was off, the way she held on to him later.

Something happened between the time they were talking and when they left the apartment.

The video.

The lawyer sent them a video. But all they could see were cars. They couldn't make up the drivers, the plates.

But she recognized Patton's car. What if she recognized another one? That's why she watched it so many times. Nick couldn't see anything helpful, but Amanda did.

But whose car was it?

It had to be someone important enough for her, but she had no contact with her father and he figured she wouldn't do that for her mother, her sister was gone. Alice? She was Amanda's best friend but she didn't have a car back then and why would she get to Loganville and drive back in the middle of the night. It didn't add up.

But then it clicked. He realized what must have happened.

Nick grabbed his phone, this was the last chance.

"Captain Berg" he said "I need your help finding someone"