Chapter 15

In the common area, I still had the same cot and, surprisingly, all of my things resided in the cardboard box at the end of it. I figured everything might have been a free-for-all with me being absent for so long, but clearly my possessions hadn't been worth taking. However, I didn't have my toiletries that I had dropped in the hallway after my unfortunate run-in with Negan. Those had either been swiped or thrown away, and I didn't have a lot of points to buy new ones either.

I had only been in possession of my pseudo-freedom for three nights now. I was happy that I was no longer locked in a cell and was on my way to healing fully, but somehow I felt more trapped than before. I replayed the personal conversation that I had with Negan over in my head constantly, and the image of his face centimeters from my own followed me in my dreams; the encroaching intimacy of the night lingering within me. I still wasn't sure what it had all been about. He had already asserted his dominance over me on more than one occasion; the last one being enough to set me straight…for a while. And maybe he knew that. Maybe he knew that Daryl and I would try again and again to leave this place. Maybe he looked forward to it.

I finally decided that tonight I was going to stop by the infirmary to see Daryl. He hadn't been there long and I wasn't sure if I was allowed to or not, but I didn't care. It would only be a problem if I got caught and I wasn't planning on letting that happen.

I waited until everyone was settled and asleep. I kept an eye out for the patrolling Saviors as I got on my feet and snuck my way out of the common area, gently shutting the large door behind me. As I padded around the darkened factory, it was quite silent and eerie; the hallways empty and dark. Small shadows danced along the walls here and there, the moon a silver illumination through the gritty windows which helped display the concrete floor ahead of me. The darkness was a natural aide in my concealment. There weren't many people roaming around the factory at this hour, but the ones who were out and about were much easier to avoid with obscurity on my side.

I made it to the infirmary door without incident. I was getting more and more accustomed to this place which made me painfully aware of how long we had been trapped here. That's to our benefit, I convinced myself as I slowly opened the door, trying not to make any noise. I wasn't sure who would be in here, but I also didn't want to disturb Daryl either if he was asleep.

Inside, most of the lights were off except a few around the room. Daryl was lying in a cot near to the door, his eyes closed and his breaths rhythmic. There were a few other patients, but it looked like everyone was asleep and no one else was present. I wondered where Dr. Avery was as I tiptoed next to Daryl, drawing a chair close to his side and sitting quietly beside him. I gently placed my hand into his, his warm, calloused hand limp in mine.

His eyelids began to flutter and his hand tightened on mine as he adjusted himself on the cot. He lifted his head up as he opened tired eyes and peered down at our clasped hands, confused. Abruptly, he jerked back with a start, his once steady breaths becoming ragged as he snatched his hand from mine.

"It's me. It's just me," I soothed faintly and took his hand again.

His weary eyes looked me over for a moment, wild and alert, and then he seemed to realize it was me because he relaxed instantly. He flung the blanket covering him to the side, swinging his legs over the edge of the cot, and crushed me to his chest in a tight hug. He sighed deeply, pulling me closer against him.

"Ow," I muttered, but held him back fiercely, tears stinging my eyes.

We sat like that for a good while, not wanting to let each other go and afraid of not having the opportunity to do it again. Finally, we loosened our embrace and sat back, both of our faces wet, but smiling.

"I've missed you," I whispered, squeezing his hands in mine and my bottom lip trembling. "I'm sorry for what they did to you, locking you in that cage for so long."

Daryl raised a hand to my face, cradling it and brushing away the tears with his thumb.

"It's alright," he whispered back, his swollen and blood shot eyes not looking away from mine for a moment. "I'm sorry, too, for everything. For not being able to protect you from these sons'uh bitches."

I smiled sadly at him, knowing that neither of us could control what happened to the other in this place, but I appreciated the apology nonetheless.

"How are you feeling? Have you been resting well here?" I asked hopefully.

"Well enough, considering. S'pose it's better than that fucking cage," he responded, but all at once, a pained and serious look overtook his face. "What'd he do to you?"

I furrowed my eyebrows not understand what he meant for a moment before realizing he must have found out about my "date" with Negan somehow. I looked down and blushed, thinking about what had almost happened between us. How I had been so close to selling myself out and becoming like Sherry. The shame was almost too much to bear, but then I remembered what she had told me that night. I decided that it would've been worth it.

"Nothing unusual. Just intimidated me with his typical insulting cracks and did it with a smile," I tried to smile myself, but I felt my face twitch unnaturally. I could tell Daryl didn't believe me entirely because his eyes narrowed into a glare.

"What'd he do to you?" He asked again, harshly emphasizing his words.

"Listen, I don't know what you've been told, but nothing happened. I'm fine," I looked at him with a look that begged him to believe me. "I-I wouldn't…I wouldn't have let anything happen."

Liar. You're a liar, I scolded myself. I looked away from him.

"It don't matter if you didn't want to let anything happen. Something could've happened whether you wanted it to or not," he retorted.

"You're not wrong, but nothing did. He didn't lay a finger on me, I promise," I lied again.

Daryl sighed and his eyes softened. He seemed to be mulling something over and he looked uncomfortable. I squeezed his hand again and smiled.

"Honest," I said. "We really just talked. It was fucking weird, but that's all it was. He told me about his past life, how he was a high school teacher and used car salesman. I thought that was quite odd."

"Just because he didn't try anything with you then don't mean he won't later," Daryl completely ignored what I had said, an angry look in his eyes again. "I find it odd that he has no problem murderin' people in cold-blood, but draws the line at rape."

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat because what could I say to that? It was odd. Especially since Negan seemed to enjoy the misery and pain of others, one would think he'd get off on it, too. I was sure he still did but maybe forcing himself on women wasn't quite his cup of tea. But what did I know? He did have multiple wives, and I was sure not every single one of them was willing. Sherry's possible Stockholm syndrome was a prime example. Even if she had made the decision to be his wife on her own, it was still coercion in a way, right?

"Yes," I agreed dumbly.

Daryl let out a snarl, his hand crushing mine.

"He didn't rape me, Daryl!" I whispered harshly. "I swear it!"

I yanked my aching hand from his, rubbing it. He immediately looked sorry and said as much, taking my hand back and massaging it.

"I just…" he let out a frustrated sigh, "I'm just fucking angry, Everly. I almost murdered the rat bastard the other day when he told me…what he said about you. I went after him and if I had gotten my hands on him, they would've had to kill me for me to stop."

We sat in silence for a minute, both of our eyes to our clasped hands; him still rubbing mine. Then he let out a soft snort and I looked up at him inquiringly.

"Got my ass kicked again for it," he said and laughed out. I started to laugh with him, but we immediately shut up when someone in a cot snored loudly and shifted around. I hit Daryl's shoulder and put a finger to my smiling lips, indicating that it was time for us to tone it down.

"We're one fucked up duo, Everly," he whispered a last, a smile lingering on his face. My heart ached to see it.

"No doubt about it," I affirmed. After a minute, when the hilarity died away and the fear came back, I asked, "How did he find out?"

And I cried again because I was so tired. So tired of worrying about our safety and about what would happen next. Each day here was like a click of a revolver against my head in a nasty, perpetual game of Russian Roulette. It would eventually come to a gruesome end, but when? It was a heavy burden to carry around. Top it off with everything else that had happened and I was nearly close to being crushed from the weight of it.

Daryl held me, stroking my hair as I silently sobbed into his chest. He let out soothing murmurs every now and then, the warmth of him against me enough to calm me down and help me regain some trace of sensibility. I straightened up, my hands still clutching his shirt, and looked at him beseechingly. He wiped the tears from my face.

"I dunno, but we'll find a way out of here," he said, "eventually. The real question is what'd we do in the mean time?"

I nodded, trying to think everything through logically. The only answer I could come up with was compliance because there was nothing else to do other than wait.

"We have to go along with it…" I replied forlornly.

"Mmph," he looked away from me, his hands back in his lap.

"What?"

"I did it…" He was being vague and I wasn't sure what he meant. I squinted my eyes at him and he let out a sigh and grimaced, his jaw muscles working hard. "I told him who I was."

My eyes widened as realization dawned on me. He had given in and gave Negan what he had wanted. And did this mean that Negan had complete power over him now? Would Daryl do everything he told him to? I had a hard time wrapping my mind around the thought, but maybe it would be for the best if he did. I needed to do the same, too, no matter how hard it would be. It would only be temporary, that was a firm belief both of us had. We just had to be strong enough to maintain the deceit until we were free.

"Until eventually comes, we gotta play bitch and stick our asses in the air whenever he's around. If we do that, maybe he'll give us a reach around as he fucks us over," Daryl finished angrily. I scrunched my face up at his comment and he gave me a grouchy look that said, What?

"You can stick your ass up. I'll just tuck my tail between my legs and keep it low to the ground," I said and he let out a deep chuckle in response, the hard lines of anger easing from his face a bit.

"Thank you," he said, the smile dropping from his face.

"For what?" I asked.

"For saving my life. He told me all about the walkers, what you did," his vivid blue eyes searched mine.

"Oh," I responded, temporarily forgetting it had even happened. "You would've done it for me."

He didn't say anything, but his eyes held mine in an intense gaze and I read him perfectly, knowing the look he was giving me all too well. I started to feel odd. I hadn't known Daryl or anyone else back in Alexandria for very long, maybe half a year, but I realized now that he and I had connected. Being thrown into this situation together was certainly enough to give us something in common, but I never realized that our friendship could grow to mean more to him.

Suddenly, the infirmary door opened. We both jerked away from one another, a stroke of fear running through me at the thought of seeing Negan standing there watching us, but instead a tall, slender man walked in. He stopped when he spotted Daryl and me, his eyes reflecting the dim lights in the room.

"You're not supposed to be here," he stated matter-of-factly and walked over to us. His nametag read Dr. Carson. "You should hurry back to your quarters before someone else discovers you here."

"I know," I said without thinking through what I was going to say, "I really came here to borrow some, um, some toiletries. I lost mine-mine own. I lost my own."

I looked at Daryl and gave him an unsure cringe, shrugging my shoulder up slightly. Dr. Carson looked barely convinced and perturbed instead.

"In the middle of the night?" He questioned wisely. Daryl and I gave each other a fretful look and the doctor sighed. "No need to borrow. There are a few spares in the closets down there. Hurry up and I won't mention anything about this little rendezvous to anyone," he finished with meaning.

I gave a slight nod before getting up from the chair, understanding what he meant. I was pretty sure it was Dr. Carson's duty to supervise all the patients in here. If it had been found out that I was able to get in and reunite with someone he knew I wasn't supposed to, then he'd be in deep shit as would we. The toiletries were a compromise. I grabbed what I needed, wrapping them up in a towel, and made my way back to Daryl.

"I spotted some neosporin and tylenol for you in case you never receive that reach around," I japed as I stopped by his cot.

"Shut up," he said with a smile, tugging me down for a quick hug.

"Good night," I whispered and gave him a peck on the cheek before pulling away and showing myself out.

I was very lucky that things happened the way they did. I didn't have very many points before being locked up in a cell by Negan a second time and I had had none right after. I was able to gain a few back my first day out, but I had used it all on food. The free toiletries really helped lift up my spirits as did my visit with Daryl. The trick now was just delving out my points responsibly for both food and showers.

Tonight, I chose a light, quick meal in exchange for a nice, long shower. I had only had one since the night I visited Negan and I was long overdue for another. Sometimes I felt like I could still smell him, like he had stained my skin somehow. The warm shower helped erase that and the heavy burden that plagued me before lifted just a little, ever slightly. Physically, I was feeling better, too. My limp wasn't as heavy, my ankle getting less and less sore and swollen as the days went by, and my ribs felt almost completely healed; it was progress and I felt nearly normal again.

I gathered my things after cleaning up and exited the bathroom to head back to the common area. I was looking forward to sleeping, the only thing that I really had to look forward to at the moment. Daryl's and my situation was pretty stagnant right now. He was still in the infirmary, having been in there for the past week, and I hadn't had much luck getting in again. The last time I tried to visit, I was stopped by Dr. Carson who apparently had decided to stay put after my first visit. It was smart of him, I guess, so I decided not to push it. I also hadn't had any run-ins with Negan in the meantime, only catching a glance of him from afar now and again, and he hadn't approached me either which I appreciated.

Despite myself, I wondered feverishly about him. I had told him that he wasn't that difficult to read and I thought that was true, but he basically had thrown that back in my face. Everything he had told me was perplexing; especially the parts where he shared intimate details of his life before; Sherry's words were no help either. Why did he care if I understood him or not? What did he gain by telling me any of that information? I also couldn't understand why he decided to let Daryl go to the infirmary either. He certainly hadn't seemed to care about our wellbeing before as he was the reason why we were in this mess in the first place.

"I know perfectly well how and what you think, you're not that difficult to read."

I scoffed at myself. I had thought that to be true, but Negan certainly left most parts of himself in the dark. And it frustrated me because he had been right, I didn't know shit about him other than what he wanted me to.

I hadn't figured out how he found out about us either. I tried to think of a time that I might have been careless, but the truth was that I hadn't been. I had been so careful to the point that sometimes I would rip up notes I had already written and discard them, writing the same note in different ways and in another location multiple times. I wasn't as sure about Daryl, but I couldn't imagine for one second that he was less conscientious than me. We had both known what was at stake.

We're lucky to still be breathing, I told myself. Lucky we both still have a rounded head.

I shivered involuntarily at the thought of meeting Lucille face-to-face again. I thought briefly of Abraham and Glenn, the thumping pain of loss a lead weight in my chest; my burden getting heavier again. I tried to push them from my mind, thinking instead of everyone else back home. I wondered how they were holding up and if they were still safe. I think it was okay to say that they were since Negan nor anyone else had bragged about anything, and even though it had been a while since Daryl had been there, it was reassuring to hear from him that they had been all right.

At the end of my cot, I placed the toiletries in the cardboard box. A golden glimmer caught my eye as the bottles tumbled further in and I stooped down to look more closely. I dug for whatever it was, curiosity winning over the desire to rest, and pulled out the locket I had found the first night I had stayed here. Amanda, I read again, running my thumb over the name.

What happened to you? I pondered and then considered that maybe I didn't want to know.

"How'd you get those?" A voice asked behind me.

My heart leapt with a shock and the locket fell out of my hand as I spun around to see Dwight. He gave me a neutral look, Daryl's crossbow hanging over one shoulder, and pointed at the box. I looked back down and realized he meant the bottles of soap and shampoo.

"I know you didn't have the points to get them, even if you had skipped all your meals," he said.

I stood all the way up, not sure of what to say. I didn't think anyone would have really taken note or cared, but I guess it wasn't surprising that whatever I did wouldn't remain unnoticed for long. I put my hands nervously in my pockets, steeling myself for whatever might happen next, but before I could answer Dwight started talking again.

"Negan wants to see you. Follow me," and he turned on his heel to stride out of the room with me grudgingly not far behind.

Hey, hey, hey! I just want to say that yesterday evening I had a plan. A plan that I thought would be quite easy for me to follow, but I ended up failing miserably at it. The plan went as follows: get home, walk the dogs, take a quick snooze, wake up feeling refreshed and rested, reread and edit this chapter, post it, have a shower and dinner, blah, blah, blah and so on. Well...let's just say that I was doing good up to the part where I take a quick snooze. Well *sigh*, I took my snooze, all right. I took it and snoozed my ass off because I didn't wake up until 9 o'clock this morning. Ooooopsies! So, sorry you guys didn't get an update yesterday evening. It was because I was passed out and drooling on myself for about 14 hours, but I guess I needed it, haha.

Also, thank you for your reviews and encouragement, you wonderful people! I LOVE reading them so much that I reread them multiple times. Truly, you guy are awesome. And to my two guest reviewers and Lenaland: you are awesome, and you are awesome, and you are awesome! :D And that's all I have to say about that.

Hopefully this chapter wasn't too boring, but the next one should (hopefully) be more entertaining. It has a lot of dialogue in it that makes me laugh, so here's to hoping it'll make you laugh too when you read it. Enjoy your weekend!