As time went on, Kylo and I grew closer. A romance blooming like flowers in the summertime. Although, Kylo's personality changes. He wasn't the usual Kylo Ren I knew. He was different. Quieter.
"Are you okay?" I ask "I don't know..." Kylo sighs. "Talk to me, let me help you."
I move closer to Kylo, putting my hands on mine, I look up at him. In his eyes is pain, regret, guilt. "It's getting stronger every day. That feeling. I can't be rid of it."
"What is it making you feel?" "Guilty. Hurt, but light, like as if, in everything, there's a bit of light to keep you going." "I think you know what you want Kylo." "I don't."
"Search your feelings. You know it to be true." Kylo stands up, he walks over to a desk where he picks up his helmet and looks at it, studying it. Like as if he's trying to study the emotions in it. "Let the past die, kill it if you have to. It's the only way to become what you were meant to be." With those words, he let go of his helmet, letting it fall to the ground. It shatters into thousands of little pieces. He stands there looking at it for a moment, he looks at me. He doesn't know what to say next. "If that's the case." I reply "then let it die. Kill it."
Kylo look at me "I know what I have to do."
"Well what is it?" "I'm done." "With what?" "All of this, this war, this First Order, my father, this life. I can't do this anymore. It's torn me apart completely. The only thing holding me together is you." Kylo sighs. "I can't carry on like this, it's killing me. It's destroying everything I have left, I can't, I just can't do it."
"Then we will do whatever it is you need to Kylo." "My name isn't Kylo Ren anymore. It's Ben." "Of course it is. Is that what you'd like me to call you instead?"
"Yes." Kylo says "We need to go. I have to do this." With that, we leave. We're we are heading I don't know. Kylo/Ben isn't talking. He's determined to do this. I don't recognise the place we arrive to. I've never been here. "What is this place?" I ask "This is the resistance base." "They'll attack us!"
"Not if they see me surrender."
Resistance troops come from all directions, aiming their guns at us.
"Hold up!" Kylo/Ben drops his lightsaber "I surrender."
The troops looked surprised. Kylo Ren?! Surrendering?! It didn't seem right! Rey, Chewbacca, Finn, and Leia all came out to see what was going on. They all looked surprised to see us. Kylo standing with his lightsaber at his feet. "Drop yours" he said I take my lightsaber, I look st it for a moment. In my mind, I'm questioning whether I should give up and follow Kylo, or stay. Kylo looks at me "drop it. Please." My eyes pulled away from the Saber and to Kylo. "I'm afraid."
Kylo grabs my hands in his. "There's no need to be afraid anymore. We are ending this." "There will never be an end!" I threw my lightsaber and collapsed to the ground. "It's like I can't make up my mind. I can't choose a side Ben." "Yes you can. If I can do it, you can do anything." "I can't."
"Do you trust me?" Kylo looks deep into my eyes "Yes..."
"Then take my hand, and follow me..."
I sigh, fed up, conflicted and tired. I get up, with no motivation.
"There's only one reason we are here." Kylo starts. "Kylo Ren doesn't exist anymore. Only Ben Solo. I cannot keep fighting the battle I keep facing. It's destroying me. I'm falling apart and I can't take it anymore." He continues "it's not going to be easy, and I can't just make up for what I did in a day but I want to prove myself. I made the biggest mistake of my life. Killing my father. But what I didn't realise is that killing him only ended up pushing me to the light. His death haunted me. I can't run away from it. I must accept it. I must deal with the fact I killed him. But now I need to try and prove myself as a better person."
"Wait, you left the First Order?!" Rey questions "Yes." Ben replies. "I couldn't take the pain any more. Everything I've done has come back to haunt me. I cannot burden myself any more. I can't keep taking lives and expecting a different outcome." Let the past die, kill it if you have to." I sigh "it's the only way to be what you're meant to become." "Yes, just like that!" Ben grabbed me. "Keep telling yourself that. You decide who you're going to be."
I get up off the ground, still conflicted but I decide to follow Ben's lead. I'm confused, fighting the demons inside me, but Ben is giving up on me. "Lower your weapons" Leia says to the rebel troops. Reluctantly the rebels lower their weapons. "So you're back with us?" Leia asks "Yes." Ben smiles. "But I want to apologise. For everything I've done. I know that apologising won't be enough, but I want to try and fix this..."
"Then let us help you." Leia smiles back. What's your name?" Leia looks at me. "I don't have one. I just go by Reyna, a name I created for myself." "Reyna..." Leia begins. "I know you're struggling, let me help you" "I don't know if anyone can help me..." I sigh "Of course we can." Ben looks at me softly "I'm here for you. I told you I'd never leave you, I told you I'd be there for you. I meant it. It's a promise. I won't break that. Please, let me try and help you."
I look at Ben, silent, sad, but relieved. My mind is racing. He wants me to join him, to try and become part of the light side. I am confused but reluctantly, I agree. What's the worst that could happen?