The show! Will! Go! On!

Keldeo reared up on his hind legs, his expression serious and his Secret Sword raised and glowing brightly.

Keldeo the Critic

Editorial 6- The Right Way To Do a Hate Fic ("Revenge Fic")

tinyurl: ow7nf84

"It's me, Keldeo the Critic! I review it so you don't have to," he said with a smile, "Let's talk about Hate Fics. Hate Fics are fanfics written to attack a certain character-."

Suddenly, a loud siren when off and red lights flashed around the area.

"Alright! Alright already! I'll admit it, that's the wrong term! Okay!?" Keldeo shouted loudly.

The sirens and lights turned off, and Keldeo gave a sad sigh.

"Okay, okay. According to TV Tropes, a Hate Fic is a fanfic that attacks an entire series. A fanfic that attacks a single character is called a Revenge Fic."

Keldeo stood up straight and resolutely and said, "But you know what? I think Hate Fic just sounds better and more specific than Revenge Fic. I know you could say that it's getting revenge for having to deal with such a horrible character, and hate does work for someone who hates an entire show. But in the context of this editorial, I'm going to use the term Hate Fic for fanfics attacking a single character."

Keldeo nodded, "So, you'd think that a fanfic made just to attack a character would be bad. It would be ranty, vindictive, and overly cruel, right?"

Keldeo shrugged and nodded again, "Well, yeah, most of the time. But here's the thing. Those fanfics aren't bad because they're Hate Fics. They're bad because they're Bad Hate Fics. After all, Tropes are just tools. They're neither bad nor good. But is there really such a thing as a 'Good' Hate Fic?"

Keldeo scratched his chin with his left fore hoof and said, "Well, I've been doing some thinking. Really hard thinking. And I believe that I may have discovered the secret formula for a good Hate Fic, which I am going to share with you all. And to further prove my point, I'm also going to use this formula to point out the flaws in a certain Hate Fic that we all know and. . . well. . . hate, Toadettegirl2012's Misty Hate Fic, A Different Kind of Princess."

Loud booing ensued.

"Oh come on! It's not my fault its so much fun to make fun of!" Keldeo exclaimed in defense.

The booing stopped, and Keldeo opened up his laptop.

"Hey Cortana, open 'Hate Fic Formula," Keldeo said.

The Word document opened, and Keldeo began reading from it.

"First, the focus of the Hate Fic needs to be a character with a clear and valid reason to be hated in the source material; like a villain, a bully, or a Scrappy," Keldeo said.

Keldeo frowned and said, "Can we all agree that Misty never did anything all that bad? Yes, she can be a little harsh, brutally honest, and has a temper, but that's just because she's a tomboy. She still cares about her human friends and her Pokemon. She risked her life for them on a couple of occasions. And she knows what is right and avoids what is wrong. The only reason Toadettegirl has for hating Misty is that she's a girl, and thus gives Iris competition. This point becomes moot very quickly during the story. The whole thing is also ironic, because Misty and Iris are a lot alike if you ask me. So her story fails the first part."

"Second, the character must be kept in character and accurate to the source material. If not, then the character being hated is actually an OC that just happens to share the real character's name and appearance. Therefore, the Hate Fic would hold no meaning because the focus character is unregonizebale."

Keldeo frowned even harder and said, "Can we all agree that Misty would not cheat or deceive in any contest, nor hire people to kidnap and brutally beat and torture her opponents, nor come in all evily and gloat about her evil plan to her victims? I mean, come on Toadettegirl! There was a reason Misty was one of the protagonists! You failed the second part!"

Keldeo took a deep breath and let it out, then cleared his throat and continued, "Third, the story should expand upon the focus character's un-likability while still being source material accurate."

Keldeo shook his head, "Well, although Misty was made more unlikable to the extreme, since Misty was not in character at all. So once again, fail!"

"Fourth, the Hate Fic must take some time to show things from the focus character's point of view so that the readers can see what goes on in the character's head. This way, the readers can either see a reason why the character does what he or she does, or see how bad the character really is and agree with how well deserved the hate is, or both. However, if the character is not kept in character and accurate to the source material, then showing things from the characters point of view won't matter, because it would just be the inside of some unrecognizable OC's head."

Keldeo shook his head, "Toadettegirl doesn't even try to do this. All we know is that Misty is an evil sociopath who wants to win, and will gladly murder Iris with no remorse. That's stupid. That's completely insane. And since the story already broke second rule, it wouldn't even matter, because this isn't Misty. It's some random OC that Toadettegirl made up."

"The fifth part is that the focus character's punishment shouldn't be overly violent, cruel, unusual, or disproportionate. That part of the story hasn't happened in Toadettegirl's story yet, so I obviously can't judge it now, but that doesn't really matter because it already failed the first four parts."

"So, there you have it. The formula for a good Hate Fic compared to a bad Hate Fic," Keldeo said with a smile.

Keldeo stood there for a bit, then frowned and said, "Oh, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I just did this to complain about A Different Kind of Princess some more. You think that I just made up that formula as I went, huh? Well guess what? I happen to have a good Hate Fic ready to be reviewed! Ryu Taylor the Ferret showed it to me, -thank you, Ryu, by the way-, and I'm going to review right here, right now, to prove that my formula for as good Hate Fic is valid! This is Redress by Team Hanabi!"

Redress

By: Team Hanabi

PMD Sky; Brine Cave. Before moving on, Ichigo wants an apology. Though it might not be the best time…

"This is a Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Explorers of Sky fanfic that targets a character that I don't like very much either. It's none other that Chatot."

Keldeo held up a hoof and said, "Now, once again, I know what you're thinking. 'Oh, Keldeo! You only like this Hate Fic because you don't like Chatot and do like Misty.'"

Keldeo turned into his Resolute Form and said with great certainty, "First of all, whether or not I like Misty has nothing to do with the quality of this fanfic. Second of all, the fact that I don't like Chatot actually validates the idea that this Hate Fic is good. The first part of my formula says that the character needs to have a clear and valid reason to be hated in the source material. And let's be honest here: Chatot is not a good Pokemon. I mean he doesn't listen to anyone, he's not very nice, he treats everyone in the guild as subservient to him, He talks down to everyone, he acts all high and mighty, and he's extremely arrogant. Sure, he was a hero at Brine Cave, but that doesn't make his infuriating attitude disappear."

Keldeo nodded and said, "So, with the first part accounted for, how about we delve deeper through a quick review. This is Redress!"

Notes: Set in the middle of Brine Cave. Contains spoilers for all events up to that point; being familiar with everything that happens in Brine Cave and beyond is advisable, actually.

This is sort of a 'missing scene' of sorts, because Ichigo isn't the type to let things go so easily.

"So this fanfic picks up at Brine Cave after Team Skull has stolen the Relic Fragment, and our heroes have to catch them. Of course, now that Chatot finally finds out that Team Skull is evil, Ichigo the Charmander, the player character, decides that it wouldn't be unreasonable to ask for an apology from Chatot."

Keldeo shrugged and said calmly, "Yeah, just a quick simple apology. I'm sure it wouldn't be too much trouble."

"Those stinking scoundrels… Play me for a fool, will they?!"

"C-Chatot… sir?" Laramie piped, watching him flap his wings angrily.

"They won't get away with this! I'll show them what it means to trifle with me!"

She didn't even bother stifling her scoff at that.

"With you?" she echoed. "What, you've forgotten about us, now? Guess that's not surprising…"

Chatot's head swiveled towards her, confused. -Irritated, too; she saw his brow start furrowing and instinctively knew what he was about to say. But right now, the fire lizard wasn't the least bit interested in another lecture.

"Anyway, don't you think you should apologize now?" she forged on before he could start.

"A… apologize?" Taken off-guard, Chatot blinked several times. "What are you talking ab…"

"Oh, don't give me that! You should know exactly what I mean!"

"…" Judging from his blank stare, he didn't have a clue. Laramie, however, already had a pretty good idea… But the bulbasaur frowned, concerned.

"Ichigo, I don't think this is the time…"

"Remember? The Perfect Apples?" Placing her hands on her sides, Ichigo added, "We tried warning you, you know. But oh no, you couldn't be bothered to listen. So… don't you think you should apologize?"

"…"

Chatot's beak worked soundlessly for a few minutes, until Ichigo started tapping her foot impatiently. The sound appeared to shake him out of his daze, and the parrot drew himself up imperiously, ruffling his feathers.

"Oh wait, it's Chatot! Of course apologizing is too much trouble for someone like him!"

"…Young lady, this is hardly the time for…"

"BAM!" Keldeo shouted, "That's the second element of my formula. Chatot is still arrogant and high and mighty here, still treating others like they're inferior, and still acting like he deserves all the respect and that everyone should listen to him and do what he says. He's like, 'Apologize? Me? Now? Preposterous!'"

"Don't patronize me!"

Chatot recoiled, eyes widening as Ichigo rounded on him, her bandana casting a slight shadow over the top of her face. Only very recently had he started seeing this sort of hardened expression on her; up to this point, he'd been dismissing it as her 'battle face'. But now that harsh, smoldering glare was directed towards him, and he shrank back instinctively from it.

"Ichigo-" Laramie began nervously.

"Don't. Patronize us," she hissed; her lashing tail made shadows dance around them. "I'm sick of how you keep talking down to us like we're both morons. The only thing I want to hear from you right now is 'Sorry'. That's all."

Stepping back slightly, she gazed at him expectantly. Waiting for him to answer. Behind her, Laramie shifted his weight uncertainly.

Chatot hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath until he exhaled; it seemed to ring in his ears, sounding… defeated. The mere thought made his face flame, and he quickly drew himself back up, returning her - returning the apprentice's glare.

"I don't have anything to apologize for!

"BAM!" Keldeo shouted, "There! That's the third element!" Keldeo clenched his teeth as he began to seethe with rage, "Chatot is still in character, and we're seeing how terrible this Pokemon truly is!"

If anything, you should be apologizing -

"And I am positive that Chatot would react like this if a scene like this happened in the game!" Keldeo said, "He would not admit that he was wrong! I mean, come on! Chatot? Wrong about anything? Noooooo way! that can't be!"

Portal 2 Announcer: "Sarcasm Self-Test Complete."

I mean, honestly! Talking to me like-"

"Shut up!"

He didn't see her arm move - only when it stopped did he register the movement, seeing a vine wrapped around her wrist to hold it back. The parrot's eyes nearly bulged from their sockets; she'd nearly…! If her partner hadn't reacted, she would have-!

"Smacked some sense into him?" Keldeo suggested, "That might have actually been exactly what he needed, come to think of it."

"Ichigo, stop!" Laramie's voice quavered, thickened by tension, and he had to swallow hard before he could continue. "Please, l…let's just go after Team Skull, okay? We… we shouldn't fight… We're all friends, ri…"

"We're not friends." Glaring at her superior, Ichigo added, "Chatot's no friend of ours. Never was."

"That's actually a valid point. I mean, have the characters ever been on friendly terms with Chatot? At any time in the game?" Keldeo asked.

"…" Chatot couldn't find his voice. Heat flooded his face; though Laramie's vines still held Ichigo's wrist - though she let her arm drop down - he still felt like she'd just struck home.

"I-Ichigo!" and her partner's tone held some of the reproach he wished he could address her with, though tinged with more shock and surprise than Chatot would have wanted.

"He's not," she insisted, glaring at the parrot with undisguised hatred. "He's never done anything to help us - just lectured and complained and refused to listen to a single thing we had to say. All he ever does is take our money and get in the way."

"…That… that's not…"

He trailed off awkwardly, shooting the bird a nauseatingly helpless glance. Where was his stirring defense? Wasn't he going to remind her of everything he'd done for them…?

"Because Chatot hasn't done anything for you two," Keldeo said seriously, "All Chatot does in the game is lecture, collect the insane 90 percent fee, refuse to listen to a word you have to say, and deny you food! I know the game doesn't exactly let you try harder to tell Chatot that Team Skull stole the Perfect Apples, but the only way we can interpret this issue story-wise is that Chatot completely shut you down and didn't let you speak, and then proceeded to punish you like a dictator. So the Reason You Suck Speech that Ichigo gives Chatot here is completely true."

Unconsciously, Chatot glowered at him, frustrated at his hesitance. Unfortunately for him, Ichigo caught the look, and her own expression darkened.

"Whatever. You don't even care, right? All you wanna do is run off and whine to the Guildmaster. 'Guildmaster, Guildmaster, they're being mean to me! Why don't they appreciate how I treat them like total idiots and blow them off? I mean, they only came back from Apple Woods smelling like Skuntank and Koffing fumes… and then Team Skull shows up with Perfect Apples, and the only place I know to get those is the Woods… how was I supposed to make that sort of connection?'"

"Exactly!" Keldeo shouted with wide eyes, "How did I forget that detail in my Top 11 Dumbest Moments list?!"

"…Y…"

"'After all, I know everything!'" Still mimicking his voice, Ichigo barreled on with a nasally "'I'm so wonderful and brilliant and amazing, everyone relies on me! So of course I don't let anyone else get a word in edgewise - that'd mean showing them a shred of respect! I want everyone to respect me, but I can't be bothered treating anyone else the same way! After all, they're all idiots, and they should remember that! So I remind them! All the time! Why don't they appreciate that?!'"

"…Y…" Swallowing the knot in his throat, Chatot began again with "You…"

"'Why, oh why don't I get the respect I deserve?'" Dropping the impression, Ichigo snarled, "Well, you already do. You get none. Everyone just tolerates you to keep the Guildmaster happy, because we respect him. But not you. Never you."

He…

…He didn't have to hear this.

He didn't have to hear this. He didn't have to stand for it, didn't have to stand here and take it.

"How dare this Pokemon who I unjustly punished tell me the truth!"

Turning away, Chatot flew deeper into the cavern, ignoring Laramie's dismayed cry. Too little, too late. And he didn't want to hear another word from either member of Team Hanabi right now.

"Chatot…!"

When only silence answered him, Laramie looked back to Ichigo, stunned. Her expression hadn't softened any; the fire lizard merely glared down the tunnel their superior had disappeared into, unmoving and unmoved.

"…I…Ichigo…" Licking dry lips, he ventured, "That was a little… um… harsh…?"

"Not really." Rather than looking directly at him, she opted for shifting through the satchel at her side, reviewing their supplies.

"Medicine is not supposed to taste good," Keldeo said sternly, "And by the way, this was the fifth part of the Hate Fic formula accurately fulfilled. Chatot is a horrible, haughty jerk who only cares about himself, so Ichigo gave him the chewing out he deserved."

"…Um… b-but…"

"Anyway, let's get going." Shrugging the strap back into a more comfortable position, she added, "'Bout time we go and kick Skuntank's stinking tail, right?"

"B-but Chatot… he-"

"Eh, he'll be fine! Sure, he's not even half the explorer he claims to be, but he can still take care of himself. Let him vent for a while, then he'll catch up and be all 'You should respect me because I'm more special than you and blah blah blah.' Trust me, his ego needed the bruising… even if it doesn't stick."

Keldeo nodded and smiled, "That's right! Now it's time for the fourth element, where we see things from Chatot's point of view."

Of all the...! He'd never thought Ichigo could be such a total brat...!

"Really," Keldeo said grumpily, "She expresses her anger over how you wrongly treated them and praised three criminals over them, and you call her a brat?"

Exploring alone had its advantages. It wasn't optimal by any means, and he definitely wouldn't have chosen to fly solo if it hadn't been for that little temper tantrum she's just thrown, but it did mean he could set his own pace now and focus on finding the way down. While avoiding all of the cave's inhabitants was practically impossible, he could avoid engaging them and just keep moving forward. Hopefully, he wouldn't have to waste too much time wandering around before he tracked down those three.

Honestly! He didn't know who to be madder at - Team Skull for being a bunch of lying, cheating, no-good, worthless, vile excuses for explorers... or Ichigo for being such a hot-headed, snappy, whiny little snot with the worst sense of timing. Why, if only she'd-!

...Grimacing, Chatot flapped his wings harder, preferring not to consider why his private rant collided with a metaphorical wall at that point. Despite that deterrence, however, he couldn't stop that thought from completing and correcting itself, unbidden and unwanted.

She had tried to warn him. Both of them had.

Keldeo suddenly brightened up, "Oh, okay, now this is interesting. We see that Chatot is beginning to consider that he might have been in the wrong. Ya see, Hate Fics can sometimes overlap with redemption fics, and that's actually a good thing."

Not that it excused how she'd acted back there, of course...! No, that was just a side of her he'd never gotten a chance to see before, the vindictive little bully who just had to rub it in that he'd made a slight mistake - who even resorted to violence when he wouldn't give in. If Laramie hadn't caught her wrist, she'd have flung a lot more than insults in his face.

And the insults were more than enough. Everything she'd said back there... His stomach was still twisting itself into knots over all that bile she'd spat. If he let himself dwell on it - if he absorbed those words, if he took them to heart...

...They cut too close already. They didn't need further consideration.

Keldeo tossed his forehooves as if to say he'd given up and said, "But of course, Chatot's arrogant cannon bully character archetype status is maintained, and he refuses to accept the truth."

Keldeo then gained a thoughtful expression and said, "However, we do get a good look at Chatot's inner psyche when we revisit a memory of the guild gathered outside of Brine Cave."

Ichigo was staring at him. Normally so bright and cheerful, she stood still and silent, save for the crackling fire topping her tail. Her expression... he couldn't quite read it, but she wasn't quite frowning. Or smiling. Or anything beyond... staring. Just... watching him.

Laramie, on the other hand, was frowning. And fidgeting, and looking generally uncomfortable. Those big red eyes were filled with worry, conflict, concern... an odd contrast with his partner's not-quite-glare. If he was able to read her mood, well, it wasn't really helping Chatot at all...

Bidoof looked just as conflicted, his broad face marred by a frown. In that, at least, he was a match for everyone else. Even Sunflora was frowning - even Chimecho looked nervous, flitting about in place the way she was. And Loudred - the very fact that he was quiet, just staring at him like that...!

Didn't they have any confidence in him at all?!

"No, they don't. Because you're too bossy and not very nice at all," Keldeo answered confidently.

Keldeo chuckled a bit and said, "Oh, and get this. We also go on to see, through another flashback, that Chatot seemingly cannot comprehend things like sacrifice, selflessness, and care for the well being of others."

"Honestly, we've been down all those paths already, so this is obviously our way forward..." he began, stepping into the open.

"You idiot!"

He wasn't entirely sure if that was the charmander; it sounded too harsh, too deep, and was partly drowned out by the skittering and snarling of wild pokémon clambering out of the water and out of their hidey-holes. Mostly kinglers and omanyte, from what he could see; he couldn't manage more than a quick scan of the rapidly-filling room before something slammed into him from behind and a disorienting flash engulfed him.

"Ichigo!"

How pleasant; Laramie might as well have screamed that directly into his ear. Trying to steady himself, he threw out a wing and immediately felt a wall; shaking his head cleared it enough that he could see that yes, he was indeed facing a wall. And Laramie was standing right next to him, though the bulbasaur was all but bouncing on his heels trying to see past him...

...Ah. Ichigo must have used a Switcher Orb. Which meant...

"Aaaugh!"

Bravely as she fought, she was still outmatched - the best counter for a bad matchup was experience, and she was still only an apprentice, after all. But his breath still hitched when two bubblebeams washed over her, one after another, and she screamed - a horrible, shrill, strangled thing - before collapsing.

His heart jumped as a sunburst of light erupted around her - then she lurched to her feet, snarling. As she launched another gout of flame, a small, cracked seed fell beside her, barely noticeable. Chatot only happened to spot it because of how closely he was watching.

A Reviver Seed. Of course. She must have been expecting to face water-types here and planned accordingly.

Still, that didn't explain her remarkably poor strategy when it came to this Monster House. Why wouldn't she let any of her friends join the fight? If only she'd given them a chance to enter, that seed might not have been wasted...

But she didn't move. Only when all of the wild pokémon had been driven off did she step forward, and even then she hardly acknowledged them. Instead, she immediately went to collect the candy and money littering the room, barely even acknowledging how Laramie scampered to her side.

"Are you okay?" Already digging through their satchel, the bulbasaur added, "Do you need any Orans, or..."

"I'm fine." Shallow scratches covered her arms, chest and side, and her breathing was still ragged, winding down along with the adrenaline, yet she still smiled and shook her head, denying any offers of help.

...Just what exactly was wrong with her?!

Keldeo chuckled again and said, "Did you catch that? Chatot walks into a Monster House, Ichigo uses a Switched Orb to save him and Laramie, she fights off all the Pokemon into the Monster House; and Chatot shows no appreciation or gratitude whatsoever. In his mind, she isn't a noble Pokemon who would lay her life down for her friends. Oh no, there's something wrong with her!"

"You should be more careful!" he informed her, fluttering his wings for emphasis. "You can't just take on the world alone, you know!"

"Yeah! Yell at her for saving your tail! You were the one who walked into that obvious Monster House, by the way. She could have left you there to get torn apart, but nope! She saved you, you ungrateful jerk!"

"..."

His only reward for that advice? A blank, cold stare, just like the one she'd given him back at the guild. Then she returned to gathering up the spoils from her battle, without so much as another glance his way before heading towards the exit. Only Laramie looked between them, concerned, before bounding off after his partner.

"Don't you think she deserved a thank you? Oh no, wait, I forgot! You're Chatot! You think you're better than everyone else!" Keldeo said angrily.

She didn't listen.

"She didn't listen?!" Keldeo shouted with wide eyes.

Had she ever listened?

"IRONY!" Munna shouted as she flew by.

Keldeo stared after Munna, and then pointed a fore hoof at her in disbelief and exclaimed, "She was a villain, a villain with a very poor backstory and little to no evil motivation at all,and she's still a better character than Chatot!"

The only time he could actually recall her obviously heeding his words was back when they'd first joined the guild. Back then, she'd paid close attention to his instructions, all wide-eyed innocence and oh-so-very eager to please... So why, exactly, had that changed?

"She got to know you better, and you denied her food as a cruel, unusual, and disproportionate punishment for something she didn't do," Keldeo said flatly.

Pinning it on the Perfect Apples seemed too simple, somehow... too easy. Surely there was more to it; surely it wasn't just the silly apples that turned her from a cheerful apprentice to a cynical, hateful child...

...Besides, even if that was the case, he mused while descending the stairs, it wouldn't be so simple to fix. Not after how she'd acted back there.

If she'd asked for a nice, private apology after they'd finished their business here, back in the safety and security of the guild, then he would've gladly given it to her. In fact, she likely wouldn't have needed to ask - all he needed was a bit of time to absorb his mistake, and he would've corrected it on his own.

Keldeo clenched his teeth and said, "Notice how Chatot, being an arrogant and self-righteous Pokemon not only refuses to realize that aaalllllll he had to do was say 'I'm sorry,' but also refuses to remember that he had literally said:"

"I don't have anything to apologize for!

But she hadn't given him the chance. It was just all "RAWR GROVEL BEFORE ME YOU STUPID BIRD RAWR SNARL SPIT!"

Keldeo slammed his right hoof on the ground hard and said, "But that was after you said:"

"I don't have anything to apologize for!

"No matter how you look at it, Chatot is clearly wrong. He's clearly too self absorbed to admit that he did anything wrong," Keldeo said.

Keldeo then suddenly froze, and then smiled, "Now this is a good Hate Fic. All the character's true flaws are put to light, expanded upon, analyzed, and shown for all to see; justifying all the hate we feel for him."

"So Chatot finally comes across Team Skull, who have all been viciously beaten."

Something - someone? - had given the poisonous trio a thorough work-over, leaving all three in bad shape. Koffing lay half-deflated, leaning heavily on his bad side... but Chatot could still see the puncture wounds, and the edge of at least one of the gashes that had stolen away his air and left him grounded. Zubat was hardly better; a particularly deep slash threatened to detach his right wing if he so much as twitched it wrong, so it lay useless beside him. And as for their leader... Skuntank's thick fur made it difficult to judge how severe his injuries were, but the massive skunk was lying very, very still.

Keldeo's eyes widened, "Wow! The author should added a ton of detail to a scene that was already pretty gruesome in the game!"

"...Ch..." A yellowed, red-rimmed eye cracked open and fixed upon him, and a hoarse laugh rattled from Skuntank's throat. "...Cha...aw-haw... C...come to mock us... bird?"

"B-be quiet!" The anger swelled up on its own now, and Chatot let that venom drip from his tone as he spat, "After all you've done... The way you abused my trust!"

"...Your... trust...?"

The dark-type's body shook with poorly contained laughter... no, that was wrong. He wasn't trying to hide his amusement at all. It was just that his wounds made laughing painful... but that wasn't going to stop him from mocking the parrot.

"Al... Always about you, isn't it...? Ch-chaw-haw... haw..."

"..." Ruffling his feathers, Chatot opened his beak to spit out a scathing retort... but nothing came. The words didn't die on his tongue so much as he couldn't think of the perfect way to respond. Before anything good came to mind, another strained chuckle reached his ears.

"...Whoa... ho-ho...! H-he was the only o-one w... who actually trusted us, r-right... Boss?"

"Y-yeah... No-one else... O-only him..."

"Chaw-haw-haw! H-him and Wigglytuff! Thanks to that Perfect Apple..."

"...Th-that apple..." Chatot almost cursed; to finally find his voice only to echo that! "That was..."

"D-doubt it was half as good as all the others, though," piped Zubat. "I mean, it was one of the smaller ones..."

"W-whoa-ho...hoo...! Food's always b-better when you sneak it!"

"That's right! We never did thank your guild for the wonderful feast we gave ourselves!"

"..." Chatot's head was spinning. He needed a moment - a wall or a stone he could steady himself against. But there weren't any nearby, and to move to one - to seek one out would be showing weakness. Would let them know just how much their taunts affected him.

"Two feasts, in fact! First in your larder, then at Apple Woods while waiting for those weaklings to show up!" Skuntank's grin was pained, but his voice was almost purely gleeful as he declared, "The looks on their hapless faces when they saw us...! And then..."

He trailed off into a hacking fit, but plastered another wicked smirk onto his face before finishing "Then you did all the rest. T... thanks so much."

"And when the completely obvious villains are thanking you, that's the time when you realized that you messed up big time," Keldeo said, then he grinned in an attempt to hold in the anger building up inside of him as he said, "And also. . ." Keldeo's voice suddenly became high pitched and furious as he sputtered quickly, "What in the heck were you possibly thinking when you decided to trust these obvious villains!?"

Keldeo sprayed himself in the face with a low powered Hydro Pump from his left fore hoof and said quickly, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just, the Perfect Apple Incident will never cease to drive me crazy."

"..."

He couldn't stop shaking. And his voice was betraying him again - his throat had managed to dry out despite the bile threatening to rise instead of the perfect retort, and he couldn't think... didn't know what to say. How could they... how could they...?!

"W-we should've done more during our li... our little expedition together. M...maybe taken out that stuttering Corphish after he led us to that s-statue... Or gotten that stupid beaver or the shrieking flower alone and..."

"S-stop! Don't..." Hissing through his beak, he snapped, "Don't threaten our precious apprentices!"

"Only I'M allowed to threaten them! I have the power to take their eating privileges away! The entire guild is under my thumb! . . . er. . . wing!"

"Ch... chh. D-don't make me laugh... Weaklings, all of 'em."

"They're not weak!" An edge of vindictive glee crept into his tone as he added, "After all, it's clear Team Hanabi wiped out the lot of you, so..."

"Haaaa...Hanabi? Ch-chaw-haw... T... This wasn't them."

"...What?" Blinking rapidly, Chatot protested, "But..."

And then he remembered.

How could he have forgotten?! In all the fuss, between finding out the truth about Team Skull, Ichigo's accusations, and all the rest, he'd - he'd actually forgotten that...

...He...

He had to clear the way.

He had to make sure - if Team Hanabi had gotten ahead of him, then-!

"...H...hey...!"

But Skuntank's protest fell on deaf ears as Chatot took off deeper into the heart of Brine Cave, no longer having any time to waste on the skunk or his lackies. Much more pressing matters lay at hand...

"Meanwhile," Keldeo said, "We switch back to the two heroes, starting with a flashback to right before the climax Perfect Apple Incident."

"...Do you think... he'll hate us now?"

Startled, Ichigo whirled to face her best friend. Laramie wasn't even looking at her; the grass-type was too focused on the ground, trudging along with his gaze locked downward and his mind lost on a far nastier route.

"What? No way!"

"But this was for the Guildmaster... The Guildmaster's... mmnh." He still didn't know what Chatot had said back then, but a dismayed grunt seemed to fill the void well enough. "His very important mmnnph."

Brow and bandanna furrowing, Ichigo reminded him, "But it's not our fault! Team Skull ate all the Perfect Apples! We'll just explain what happened. So don't worry. When he hears what those guys did, Chatot'll know what to do!"

"...Are you sure...?"

"Positive!"

Laramie still didn't look too convinced, so Ichigo smiled brightly, giving him a playful little nudge. The poor guy was so negative sometimes...! He didn't need to be so hard on himself all the time...

But it was okay. Once Chatot heard about this, Team Skull was in for one nasty wake-up call. And it wasn't like they could just lie about it, either - for one thing, they all still reeked. One sniff and Chatot'd know they'd run into some stink-spraying pokémon, and none of Apple Woods' fauna qualified.

"Wow, Ichigo would be really good at Cinema Sins," Keldeo said in an impressed tone.

The sooner they got back, the sooner they could explain everything, and Chatot would help fix things. So they hadn't gotten any apples; that couldn't be helped. What could be helped, though, was Laramie's self-confidence. Once Chatot reassured him that the world wouldn't come to an end just because they hadn't finished a mission due to circumstances beyond their control...

But that hadn't happened, had it?

He hadn't listened. And he never would listen, because that would require him actually caring about what they had to say. Not very likely. She got that much now.

Two words. Just two words, and she'd have let it go. Heck, even just one word and she'd have been happy. But no. As much as he loved running his beak off, he couldn't manage a single 'sorry'.

And what had she gotten instead?

"I don't have anything to apologize for!"

She'd flat-out told him not to patronize her, and that was how he reacted? By being even more of a self-absorbed jerk?

"If anything, you should be apologizing - I mean, honestly!"

In other words, not only did her opinion not matter, but he expected her to beg his forgiveness just for subjecting him to it. Like she had no right to want an apology for how he'd treated her - treated them. It didn't matter that he'd screwed up; in his mind, expecting him to acknowledge his mistakes was much worse.

What a creep. What a total, unashamed jerk. No wonder he'd gotten along so well with Team Skull - and that the only thing he cared about now was how they'd - gasp! - insulted him. Everything else they'd done just couldn't compare to that crime, apparently.

"There is no exaggeration here at all, readers," Keldeo said, "That's what Chatot did in this fanfic, and it's also how he was in the source material. There's a word for Pokemon like him, but I don't use words like that. Go ask Spike the Snob what the word is."

"Then after we see how innocent and naive the partner character is, as usual. . ."

"...Hope he's doing okay..."

Ichigo knew she shouldn't feel irritated by that. Laramie was just being... well, Laramie. Always worrying about others, always second-guessing himself... wondering if he could do better... So it wasn't surprising he was worried about that stupid bird. Never mind that, if their positions were reversed, Chatot clearly wouldn't worry about them...

"He'll be fine. Don't worry so much," she soothed, clapping a hand on the back of his bulb.

"But... I don't think he has any berries or anything, and..."

"Then he'll probably pick up stuff along the way. Not like this cave's totally empty, you know."

"...I know..." Shuffling his feet, Laramie insisted, "But I still..."

"Hey, he's been here before, right? Probably knows his way around better than we do." Not that his experience had been all that helpful when they were together, but Ichigo knew better than to point that out right then. "And if he really needs help, he'll probably just track down some of the others."

"...You think so...?"

"Yup! Now, we should get moving ourselves, right?"

"...Right!"

". . . the Monster House flashback from Ichigo's point of view. . ."

And when it was all said and done, what did she hear?

"You should be more careful! You just can't take on the world alone, you know!"

It took almost all the self-control she had left not to snipe back that with someone like him at her back, she had to.

". . . and Team Skull's final scene as seen in the game, the story comes to a close."

Keldeo nodded, "Yeah, that's the end. Okay, it's incomplete, but for a Hate Fic, it's pretty much complete. Sure, there's the scenes where Chatoot protects them from Kabutops and the Omastar brothers, which would make for a good redemption scene. But with that in mind, the story would probably go on just like the game after that. Chatot saves Ichigo and Laramie, Ichigo figures Chatot redeemed himself, Chatot gets taken back to the guild, and everyone is on calmer terms. I mean, think about it! When in the game are the player and partner ever on friendly terms with Chatot? Even after his redemption scene? Chatot didn't actually learn anything. Both in the game and probably in this fanfic, all that scene means for him is that he, 'they're part of my Guild, so I had better protect them as I did Wigglytuff long ago!'"

Keldeo pointed with his hoof and said with great certainty, "That's not growth! That's not apologizing! That's not realizing that he needs an attitude adjustment! That's just him doing his duty! Sure, it's good that he selflessly saved them by acting as a living shield, but that doesn't solve the underlying problem, which is that Chatot is a self centered jerk who thinks he can do now wrong. In fact, this act of heroism will probably only cause Chatot's ego to inflate even more. Sure, Ichigo or whoever the player is will tolerate Chatot after being saved by him, but neither the player, nor I, will like him because he still does not learn his lesson: that he needs to treat the people who serve under him with respect and listen to what they have to say instead of just shouting orders and talking down to everybody!"

Keldeo nodded, and turned back into his normal form.

"And that was Redress. A GOOD Hate Fic. It takes a character that has reason to be hated, keeps him in character, expands on his negative character traits, shows things from his perspective, and gives him a just punishment that he deserves. It's the complete opposite of A Different Kind of Princess."

Keldeo sighed and said, "But you know what? In the end, hate is subjective. I'm sure that there are some people who actually like Chatot and actually hate Misty. However, I justified my likage and dislikage with facts and examples from the source material so that I can say that I hate or like these characters rationally, not irrationally like Toadettegirl does. But still, it's all subjective, so I hope nobody is offended by this."

Keldeo stood up tall and said, "However, I still believe that Hate Fics, or Revenge Fics if you want to use the proper name, can be good if the ranting is kept down to a minimum and the hate is dissed out fairly and not to an extreme, allowing us to see the arrogant jerks we can't stand finally get their just deserts."

Keldeo nodded and said, "I'm Keldeo the Critic, and I review it so you don't have to."

The End

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