Carys' POV

Why didn't she just tell me how she was feeling from the start? I'm better now, I don't need her lying to protect my feelings. I'm not a child. If she wants to stay then of course I'll support her, but I can't stay here too. I need to be with my pack. And yeah, she's my pack too but I need my mum and dad. I've gone too long living in Geraint and Rhiannon's lie. I don't want her to stay in the wild but I can't hold her back from doing what she what's best for her, the guilt would follow me around and we'd end up falling apart anyway.

I don't understand why she's suddenly got cold feet about our future. I thought she loved the tame way of life, was she lying the whole time? I guess she never really lied, she just changed the subject whenever I'd start talking about the future, I just didn't realise she didn't want me to be part of hers. No that can't be it, I know she loves me. I can't afford to start thinking like that again, I've come too far in my recovery to start taking steps back now.

After blowing off steam with a run, I walk back towards camp, it's getting dark anyway, I should probably get some sleep. Maybe in the morning, we'll talk and we'll both have clear heads.

"Mum?" I stop to talk to my parents who are still with Alric. "Where am I sleeping tonight?"

"You're all in the den, it'll be warmer and I know how much you're going to miss central heating," she tries to joke but I know she's still stressed about this whole Alpha thing. "Goodnight, Cariad," she and dad kiss me goodnight and I head off into the den. I'm the first one there, of course, it's probably not even 9 o'clock yet but I'm supposed to go to bed early anyway, that's what Dr Stevens said to do, especially if I get anxious or stressed.

I wake up to a living nightmare; unfamiliar hands wrap around my face and cover my mouth and eyes, and I'm dragged silently out of the tent. I try to scream but another hand squeezes my throat, I can barely breathe and my life flashes before my eyes. All I can think about is Jana. I'm dragged violently through the woods until finally, we come to an abrupt stop. The hands move from my face but they hold me in place face down on the ground so I can't see who's doing this to me. Someone kicks me, rolling me over onto my back, I see three pairs of glowing yellow eyes, and as I blink away the blurriness of my tear-filled eyes, I see them. Ingrid is above me; she picks my head up by my hair and ties an old rag around my fave covering my mouth. Tove and Beca are holding down my arms and legs. As my eyes start to adjust to the late, I see the smirk Ingrid is wearing.

"You call yourself a Wolfblood?" Ingrid scoffs. I feel the tears leaking down my face. "Real Wolfbloods don't cry," she laughs. Her henchmen cackle. She pulls up the sleeve of my jumper to expose my scars, this is the first time I've felt ashamed of them.

Beca starts going through my pockets, no matter how much I wriggle, I can't escape. "Look what we've got here!" She pulls out my phone and my pills and tosses them to Ingrid, who somehow manages to turn my phone on, after the glow of the screen takes her by surprise she drops it to the floor and I see dozens of missed calls. From Anwen. Why would she be calling me now? We haven't spoken in months. But that's the least of my problems.

"What are these for?" She says staring at my pills, she stands up moving to use her feet to hold my hands down, the edges of her boots dig into my skin. Her hand comes off of my mouth. "Don't even think about screaming or these are gone," she pulls the cap off the pill bottle and sniffs them, "Well, answer the question, human!" She crouches down so we're face to face.

Something comes over me, "I'm not human," I spit in her face. They let go of me, but before I can scramble to my feet, Ingrid kicks me in the side again. It feels like my guts are about to come out of my mouth. I spit up some blood. I haven't been able to build up my physical strength again since what happened to me, but my mind is stronger than ever now, I can take this.

I push up to my feet and look Ingrid directly in her eyes. I feel my eyes change, and my veins pulsating. But I won't sink to her level. "I will not fight you, give those back to me," I demand, but there's no reasoning with someone like her. I try to grab my phone but Tove and Beca grab me, they hold me back as Ingrid uses a rock to smash it to pieces. I manage to break free from Tove and Beca's grasp and charge at Ingrid, knocking her to the ground. She's stronger than me, though, I back my hand to hit her, but she grabs my fist and manages to twist me over so she's above me. She pins my hands down again and uses her feet to keep my legs flat. I hear her friends giggling as they watch me struggle.

"Don't even think about telling anyone, I will hurt everyone you love if you do, and you'll never get your human medicine back." I stop struggling and she gets up, my pills in her hand. I stay on the ground, worried I'll be tackled if I try to stand again. "You have three options," she crosses her arms. "One, you can have these back one by one each day, but there'll be consequences, for every pill you take, someone will get hurt. Two, you go without them, and everyone's fine, except you," she smiles sadistically. "Or three, my personal favourite, you take them all at once, and our pack is better off."

"You want me to kill myself? Why are you doing this?" I try so hard not to cry in front of them. How does she even know that that would kill me? And how does she know that I won't be okay without them?

"I don't like tames. Don't cross me again," she tucks my pills into her pocket and walks away. Tove and Beca follow her back to camp.

I lay down, defeated, on the cold, wet ground. Every breath hurts. If I don't have my pills then the voice will come back and I'll be back where I started, I can't even call Dr Stevens now. I don't feel the cold or the pain as much as I feel the fear, I know where my mind was, and I can't go back there. It's too dark, too lonely. What if I get to the point where I want to end my life again? Taking the pills day by day isn't an option either, I will not take the chance of something bad happening to the people I love.

I pull myself up from the ground and just stand for a while, looking in the direction of the camp. The moonlight bounces off of the flowing river. Do I tell my mother? If I do, then Ingrid will never give my pills back. If I just follow her rules, then maybe I'll get them back. Without them, my mind will deteriorate and the real me will be gone by the end of the week. The thought that I'll be back to square one is one of my worst fears, but losing my family trumps that.

I have to do what she says, I'll keep it to myself and go without them. We're here for two weeks, once we're home, I can go to Dr Stevens and get a refill of my prescription.

The next morning, I open my eyes in the tent and Jana is next to me, it's just the two of us. Maddy and Rhydian must have gotten up already. She opens her eyes and looks right at me.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, for saying you were controlling me. That's not true at all. And for saying I'm not sure," she says. "Because I meant it when I said you're the only thing I'm sure of." I feel so weak and defeated after last night. My ribs feel like they've been shattered into a thousand pieces. I just stare at her. "I love you."

"I love you too."

She kisses my head. I want so badly to tell her what Ingrid and her drones did to me, but I'm scared of what Ingrid will do to her if I tell. I couldn't live with myself if someone got hurt because of me. Jana rests her hand on my waist, and I flinch, it's painful to the touch. "Are you okay?" She sits up, her brow furrowed with worry.

"Yeah, I fell over when I was out running last night, it's nothing," I lie.

"Well, let me see," she tries to pull up my top.

"Jana, it's fine, honestly it's nothing to worry about," I tug it back down. From what I could see in the moonlight last night, a bruise has already started to form.

"If it's nothing to worry about then why can't I see?" She yanks it up, the look on her face tells me just how bad it is. I sit up slightly and look at the bruise that has doubled in size and turned a deep purple. It covers the entire right side of my lower ribcage. "Carys, this isn't nothing. I'm getting Ceri."

I grab her arm, "Don't, it's fine. Just a little sensitive." I sit up properly and face her. If she tells my parents, I'll never get those pills back, and Ingrid will probably kill me and my whole family.

"You need to go to Segolia, you could have broken ribs or internal bleeding or something! You need help," she tries to get out of the tent, but I pull her back. Maybe a little too hard.

"I'll go when we get home, I don't want to ruin this trip. Please, Jana, don't make a fuss. I feel fine." Yesterday I went off on her for lying to me, now I'm the one lying. But this is for her safety too.

She looks at me, a little mad, "Fine, but we're going the second we get back." How does she trust me this much?